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Microsoft support: "Your antivirus software is causing problems with the memory management."
Me: "I use Windows defender"
Microsoft support: "Oh..."
Me: 🙃12 -
*computer fell, broken in pieces*
Me calling [Microsoft] tech support: hey can you check my warranty on this computer, I think I broke it?
Tech support: yes sir but we must first go through the troubleshooting steps,
Me: no, no I just-
Tech support: have you tried pressing F8 sir?
Me: umm… no, look I'm just -
Tech support: sir please press the F8 key sir
Me: okay… I pressed it, now can you just check my-
Tech support: sir please what happened when you pressed F8?
Me: it's broken, now if you could just check my warranty -
Tech support: sir I'm sorry sir I think you did it wrong. Please press F8
Me: no just check my-
Tech support: sir I think you do not understand, sir it is at the top-
Yup.14 -
!Rant
Support Call:
”our PC stick isn't booting up! Come and fix it! (angry)”
Me:
”The PC are meant to boot up whenever power is delivered to them. Are you sure your TVs are powered on?”
Support Call:
”Yes! I just pressed the power button on both TVs and it didn't turn on the PC sticks.”
Me:
”So you can confirm the TVs are on? Can you change the input and see what happens?”
Support Phone:
”Stop wasting my time and send someone down to fix it now! I told you it isn't working!”
Me:
”Ok, we will get someone out to you as soon as possible.”
Then a support guy drives 2 hours to their store.
When he gets there he realizes that the TVs power is connected to a light switch and they has the switch off!!!
He said ”can we turn on some lights so I can see behind the TV?” and then all the fucking TVs came on.
These are times when I fully understand the concept of “firing a customer”.
The customer sent an email saying ”the downtime for your product was unacceptable.” even after it was explained to them that the problem was them turning off the power.
These fucking idiots actually expect us to deliver products to display on TVs without fucking electricity to run them.
12 -
"Turn it off and on again."
Great for Wi-Fi routers and office appliances.
Life support, not so much.9 -
Amazon support guy: Oh its a Windows instance. I'm a Linux Engineer so...
Me: I know your pain. I'm in pain, too. Now help me.9 -
// family tech support
Dad: *clicks something*
Dad: *something strange happens*
Dad: Hey son, come over here. What happened?
Son: Hm.. what did u click?
Dad: I don't know. Aren't you supposed to know that? You're our computer genius.7 -
This is Why I give IT support so much respect.
Friend: my computer stopped working can you help?
Me: (porn...again) fine I'll help.
Friend: come over when your ready
Me: Be there tomorrow bro
Next day.....
Me: where is your desktop
Friend: upstairs, I tried everything man
Me: look at the monitor... look at the hp piece of shit.. see green light on... look back at the monitor...no light... look at my friend.
Friend: 😕
Me:😪
Friend:😳
Me: look behind the desk...
Friend: 😰
Me: 😪your monitor is unplugged
Friend: 😅
Me: fuck you lose my number4 -
Tech support to my friend:
Friend: Root my phone!
Me: why
Friend: play store is not working
Me: why do u want to root for that?
Friend: is there any other option?
Me: give me ur phone
After 20 sec ...
Me: Sign in to ur Google account 😐😐3 -
How not to give support..
Me: Creates ticket on support site, letting them know their webservice returns "maintenance" page.
Support: "It works on our end."
Support: *closes ticket*
Euhm.. excuse me?
Me: Creates another ticket with a screenshot and the curl response information..
Support: Sends screenshot back that it works on their end. "Maybe check your firewall"
Support: *closes ticket*
I ain't playing these games..
Me: Creates new ticket with more curl responses from 4 different servers to prove it's not "firewall" related.
Support: ..
2 days later
Me: Sends *friendly* reminder.
Support: ..
6 days later
Me: Creates ticket again saying I'm still having issues.
Support: "I'm forwarding this to our technical support"
Support: *closes ticket*
10 minutes later.
Technical Support: "Here's the manual for our integration .pdf."
Excuse me, you say what now? I KNOW HOW IT WORKS, I'VE WRITTEN THE INTEGRATION ALREADY. THE SERVICE JUST SEEMS TO BE DOWN FFS.. pls..
Me: Sends mail to their project manager who manages the clients dossier with support history and such.
Him: "I'll check it out and let you know."
1 day later.
Support: "We had some issues this and that, wasn't publically availble, works now, .."
What a nice way to waste your time..6 -
Years ago I was an application developer at a medium sized corporation and was also responsible for support for an HR department. This occurred early one morning shortly after I arrived at work.
User: My app doesn't work.
Me: What's wrong with it?
User: I just get a blank screen.
Me: A blank screen? What happens when you hit a key?
User: Nothing.
Me: Do any apps work?
User: No, I just get a blank screen.
Me: Is your monitor on?
User: Yes, I turned it on.
This type of witty banter went on for several minutes when the answer suddenly hit me.
Me: Is your computer turned on?
User: Do I need to turn it on?
Me: Did you turn it off before you went home last night?
User: Yes.
Me: And do you normally turn it on in the morning when you come in?
User: Yes.
Me: Then why didn't you turn it on this morning when you came in?
User: I didn't know I needed to.
It was at this point I heard the programmer over the cubicle wall from me burst out laughing. He had been listening to the conversation and couldn't take it anymore.
The really sad part is that this was not an isolated incident. This kind of stuff occurred on a semi-regular basis with this individual's department.10 -
why programmers like cooking: you peel the carrot, you chop the carrot, you put the carrot in the stew. You don't suddenly find out that your peeler is several versions behind and they dropped support for carrots in 4.31
-
There's one kind of ticket I fucking love. Wait, YOU LOVE TICKETS?! No, except for one.
Tickets where people ask us to restore backups.
Why do I love them?
Because the only fucking thing I need to do is reply with a link to a helpdesk item on our website because backups aren't something within our support range because it's easy for customers to do.
So whenever a ticket about restoring a backup comes in, it's as easy as opening the ticket, pasting the link with "I'd like to refer you to the following resource: " and pressing fucking "reply"
😄15 -
IT: Its controlled via SSO, everyone has access by default
Me: oh i'm sorry, you are correct, I don't have an error message on my screen saying I don't have access. I made it all up. Thank you, you may close the support ticket2 -
When you type a shitload of instructions for someone in a support ticket reply and after a little you get a reply where they give you all the thanks and that they appreciate it etc.
That makes your day great as a support person 😍4 -
A nerd often get to act support. I got this question about a year ago from a friend. (I've translated it into english.)
3 -
/*The following dialogue is an excerpt from an actual conversation I had a couple of hours ago*/
Microsoft support:
Please check that you've installed the correct version of JavaScript in the Control panel.
Me: JavaScript isn't standalone software.
MS: Are you sure you downloaded JS from Oracles website then?
Me: *ended the chat*1 -
so,i made a website and uploaded it to my paid hosting...some pages were blank when accessed.did some testing and found out that was a php problem.contacted the support to enable error reporting for testing...he said that it can not be done...and that my code was the problem....spent 3h testing like a blind man...then my mother comes and sais this "maybe it's not compatible"she knows nothing about programming....then it struck me....fucking different php versions...i think i'm retarded sometimes...12
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As i see a ton of people complaining here about family related tech stuff. I guess i should introduce everyone to this guy.
I don't meme a lot but this one really hits close to home for me.
Details: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/...
9 -
The other day I got a call from Windows Support about my computer being infected with a virus. I only have a Mac but knowing this was a scam call I played along for 15-20 minutes. Then I finally told the person calling that I don't have any computer running Windows and he got quite angry and wondering "why are you wasting my time?". Told him it was to prevent him from calling and scamming other people. He yelled "fuck off" and hung up. Made my day :)
How do you handle these phone calls?13 -
IBM
I have replied to them with scripts, curl commands, and Swagger docs (PROVIDED TO SUPPORT THEIR API), everything that could possibly indicate there's a bug. Regardless, they refuse to escalate me to level 1 support because "We cant reproduce the issue in a dev environment"
Well of course you can't reproduce it in a dev environment otherwise you'd have caught this in your unit tests. We have a genuine issue on our hands and you couldnt give less of a shit about it, or even understand less than half of it. I literally gave them a script to use and they replied back with this:
"I cannot replicate the error, but for a resource ID that doesnt exist it throws an HTTP 500 error"
YOUR APP... throws a 500... for a resource NOT FOUND?????????!!!!!!!!!! That is the exact OPPOSITE of spec, in fact some might call it a MISUSE OF RESTFUL APIs... maybe even HTTP PROTOCOL ITSELF.
I'm done with IBM, I'm done with their support, I'm done with their product, and I'm DONE playing TELEPHONE with FIRST TIER SUPPORT while we pay $250,000/year for SHITTY, UNRELENTING RAPE OF MY INTELLECT.9 -
Support guy: The page isn't loading
Me: can you show me?
Support guy *brings a fucking PRINTED SCREENSHOT, full colour*: here
Me *shocked as ever, sketching roughly page's UI on the paper he brought*: here. Fixed
We both laughed but myself only on the outside. I cried within. That's like the next fucking level.
The next one I think could only be taking a pic of a printed screenshot. Or printing a pic of a screen. -
Today someone called about issues with setting up email (they were hosting where I work) locally.
Fellow support guy spend half a FUCKING hour trying to explain it.
Throughout that half our, our activities existed of making gun-to-head gestures, sending meme faces back and forth (derps, fuckthisshitimout's, trololol's and so on).
It was hard to contain our laughter but damn he needed that badly 😆6 -
Someone from the higher ups had received complaints that I don’t answer my phone enough.
My boss told them I wasn’t hired here to provide phone support.4 -
Friend brings over a Windows 8 all in one laptop.
Friend: Can you fix my laptop
Me: I'm a programmer
Friend: I thought you worked with computers.
Me: I do... but I'm not tech support
Friend: Please?
Me: (reluctantly) Fine.
*many hours later after attempting to get the PC to boot from a USB. WHY DOES THIS PC NOT HAVE A KEY TO ENTER THE GOD DAMNED BOOT MENU AND HAS NO BOOT ORDER SELECTION?????!*
Friend: Have you fixed it?
Me: No
Friend: You suck at computers
Me: ....
Never spoke to him again.8 -
// family tech support
Dad: *Opens Microsoft Word*
Dad: *Writes stuff*
Dad: *Saves the file as "Doc1.docx" (every time)*
Dad: Son, where did I save my file? I can't find it.2 -
It's a shame that Adobe doesn't support Linux for their creative suit. I know lots of artists and designers that don't use Linux regularly because of this, since Photoshop and illustrator are the de facto tools for their work. Adobe xd seems to be awesome, but I can't use on my pc due the lack of support -.-21
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Welcome to devrant, the community where you can personally ask the devs what the fuck just went wrong AND get an actual answer! @dfox
Facebook, take that idea about only community support, chew on it, plant it, water an care for it a couple of weeks, and shove it waaaay up your butthole!3 -
Me doing monday morning Support because all of our fucking support members were not available.
Me: Can you navigate to the Installation path of our Software.
Customer: how?
Me: with the Windows File explorer
Customer: i dont have That
me: Explaining how to navigate to the install location (thinking: fuck my life)8 -
Internal support article to get access to a tool:
"To get access click 'NO' in the 'was this article helpful section' and open a support ticket, making sure to mention the tool you are looking to get access to"
What fucking fresh hell is this? Why not have the article, contain the fucking link to open the ticket.
You have intentionally put up a useless article, in order to hack your way around this stupid system.2 -
Me: Hello, IT Support? I can't use your system because as I log in I can't bypass a form saying I must confirm my email. But I haven't received any confirmation email. Can you resend it?
Support: We can't resend it, you have to do that yourself. What's your email?
Me: it's <blahblah>.gmail.com
Support: have you checked Junk?
Me: I sure have!
Support: Then please restart your computer and the email should come
Me: ....................
Me: have a nice day11 -
When you contact tech support just to find out he is in a boat.
@Kimmax
Lol
Anyways if anyone is interested, devBanner is up again!
Create your banner at https://devbanner.center or https://devbanner.github.io/devBann...
5 -
Dear customer,
as our services are completely free and we do not get paid for working, we beg you to understand, that there are some things you have to tolerate.
1. We are DEFINITELY not going to work 24/7 for you and answer immediately anytime. Only because it's 3pm in your country doesn't mean it's 3pm in our country!
2. We will NOT waste any time figuring out your gibberish and translate your language to our language or whatever, you have to be able to understand English anyways because our website and rules and everything is English!
3. Speaking of rules, READ THEM, I'm sick of explaining to you why you are banned, what do you think FAQs are made for?!
4. STOP SPAMMING AND TAGGING ME FFS. First we have a support chat so you can leave a message there and somebody will read it eventually AND SECONDLY I'M NOT THE ONLY SUPPORTER SO STOP BUGGING ME.
5. READ THE FUCKING MESSAGES I WRITE!
geez.. I just lost it for a second... okay.. gotta go now, I got 20 new messages since I started writing this rant.6 -
Tech support: we need to install backup software on your laptops.
Devs: what for?
TS: to backup all your important files, like word docs, excels, etc.
Devs: we don't use those. everything is on git/confluence/etc
TS: my boss told me to install it everywhere, so I have to do it.
Devs: well just disable it. uses too much tam, disk time and such
TS: whatever.
So he installed it on each laptop separately, took half a day, then we just disabled it and proceeded with our tasks. Now we get a question every other week why nothing is being synced from our computers. "We paid for the system and we want you to use it".
yeah..7 -
I have just thought of the perfect solution when support for fucking ancient IE versions creaps in the requirements (and asking the assholes to produce numbers to support the crazy does not help)
Just do browser detection and if IE < 9 Replace body with one of those winXP alert boxes that tell them there Computer is infected and that they can get a free scan (it's what they are used to anyway). Put a link to the installer of your favourite browser over the entire image.😎
Good news is 100℅ code reuse! Works on every outdated IE and every website that requires IE support.
4 -
I feel sad for some of my officemates. They are required to go to office today due to client support stuff, and it's a Sunday. They should be resting, be with their family/love ones/pet/bed, playing games, or whatever they want to do on a rest day. :(8
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THE RULES OF TECHNICAL SUPPORT
Rule #1: The Customer Lies
Rule #2: Rule #1 still applies when the customer is your coworker
Rule #3: Customers following instructions is like characters dying in a movie: if it didn't happen on-screen, it didn't happen.1 -
Today I noticed that my first name on my Apple Developer Account was totally wrong, even though the name on my Apple ID account was correct. Trying to fix the wrong name sent me to the Apple ID Account page with the already correct name. I contacted support.
It turns out the developer accounts pull info from your Apple ID at creation time, AND NEVER AGAIN. WTF? So you can not make changes to your dev account, because they are non-updateable..
The fix? Sending a copy of a photo ID to the supporter BY FAX?!?!? This is Apple we are talking about.. in 2017.. I don't know anything anymore -
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches to working on it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches team member to it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Gets dev team to help with it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Asks CEO to help on ticket.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Cries.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Prays to Mecca.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* ...
I then find out two more urgent support tickets are about to come in.
And then another one.
Help.
4 -
So, as a programmer, I'm basically the go-to tech support guy for my family (and now my gf's family).
So, my gf's mum updated windows and her computer stopped playing around through headphones, asks me for help.
I've got no fucking idea, I don't even use windows.
She's like "if your computer did this what would you do".
"I'd google the problem and randomly try solutions until it started working again. And hope I didnt break anything else."
She didn't seem happy with my debugging technique...10 -
Support elevates a ticket.
Ticket: customer is getting a weird error uploading photo.
Can’t recreate. Tell support to call them back. I’ll sit in on the call.
Watch the process. Noting extraordinary...
Hmm.
Me: can you get the customer to open the pic in photo viewer?
Support asks as much.
Support: uh, he says he gets a similar error opening this photo in the photo viewer.
Me: 🤦♂️ that is a corrupt file! -
!rant !dev
True story. Some years ago I worked, for a network manufacturer in the support department. One of me jobs was to help end-customer (private people) over the phone, who could not get online.
One day a 60+ year old woman called the support line, because se could not get on the Internet. And because our name was on the router, she called our support.
A colleague of mine took the call, and we could quickly see by his expression the it was "One of those calls". The minutes went by and they had gotten no closer to a solution after 45 min.
That was when I herd my colleague say "Well from what you tell, all the settings here are fine. Can you please close all the windows, so we can look at other settings". My colleague the looked weird and said, "She just told me it takes some minutes to close all the windows, so please hang on.".
After 2 min time the woman came back to the phone and said "I have now closed all the windows in the house, except one ceiling window that only my husband can reach. Hope it doesn't matter".2 -
So, I found this :
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, HuntingAndFishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks ...Troubled User
-------
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 installed and work on improving the configuration. I suggest installing the background application YesDear 99.0 to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to do this before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as CleanAndSweep 3.0, CookIt 1.5 and DoBills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0, but beware because sometimes these applications can be expensive.
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
WARNING!!! Attempting to install NewGirlFriend 8.8 along with Wife 1.0 will crash the system.
(see Wife 1.0 manual, Apologize, High Maintenance & Secretary with Short Skirt)7 -
Dear companies of the world.
If you offer customer support over Intercom, and the officer is a cute boy, I am gonna flirt like hell.
Keep this in mind.
Or maybe you do... maybe the photos are thirst traps designed to make us more forgiving... 🤔5 -
To my horror I've been asked to cover some small jobs for support whilst he's away.. First tap on my shoulder, can you look at my laptop? it's not charging...
Is it plugged in and switched on at the mains..
Yeah, I'm not silly.
It was neither plugged in or turned on.
I made the long and hard transition to DevOps, I now know it was worth it.
Rant Over1 -
This happened when I got my first IT support job. Naturally as a 1st line support you get to do the fun and not at all tedious thing of resetting passwords.
So I take a ticket from one of our HR people where they say that 3 new employees can't access a certain system.
Without going into too much detail here I reset the passwords according to our procedures and be done with it.
But at the end of the day it turns out that one of those 3 new employees was the new CEO, and he was known to be not the most pleasant of people to work with.
So ofc there was a chain of emails with the words "How can someone not know who I am" in there somewhere.
Had a nice stressful weekend wondering if I'll still have a job after Monday and we had a whole new password reset procedure created because of that.2 -
Just finished dinner and the phone goes:"hello I am phoning from Microsoft support" *cracks knuckles* let the games begin3
-
Fucking Amazon rant again...
TLDR: Amazon specializes in “the last mile”. They are repeatedly allowing a 3rd party shipper (Purolator) destroy their main value proposition. Thoughts at the end.
Me on the phone with their support...
Me: so it says my package was attempted to be delivered today. I did not get a call or notification or anything and I have been working from home all day to wait for the package.
Support: -Sigh- yes, I can see it was Purolator we have been having trouble with them lately.
Me: ok, so are you able to see what happened?
Support: let me put you on hold.
.......
Support: So they said they will not call for a delivery, did they use your building buzzer?
Me: Nope, just stood outside the building and then left I guess.
Support: -sigh- Well you can pick it up at their depot. Let me get you the address.
Me: The one by the airport?
Support: Yes it looks like it is about an hour away from where you are. And they are only open during work hours.
Me: So, after working from home to get this package you advice is to take 3 hours off work and go there to pick it up?
Support: Well, we can refund it? If thats what you want.
Me: No, I would like the package I ordered please.
Support: There is nothing I can do sir.
Me: So before I hang up let me see if I have it straight. When I order a package from Amazon, do I have an option of who ships it?
Support: No, I’m sorry but that is decided on our end.
Me: And I have had this problem before with this shipping agent. So, your telling me that when I ship things to me with Amazon that I have no control of wether I even get the package? Your telling me it is literally a coin toss as to wether or not I ever get my package?
Support: yes sir, I’m sorry but that is all I can do.
Me: So you realize that, for example, if I went to my local grocery store and it was a coin toss that I could take my groceries home (even after I paid for them) then I will always go to another store....
Support: yes, I know. There is nothing I can do.
Me: So from now on I have to order items, wait for them to be shipped, check the shipper and then cancel the order of it is them?
Support: -sigh- you cannot cancel an order after it has shipped...
Me: wow. Sure is great being a prime and audible member. I get fast delivery of 50% of my packages and no delivery at all of the other 50%. Sorry for the sarcasm...
Support: I’m sorry I can’t help more.
Me: So just to clarify. I can expect NOT to get the package I ordered?
Support: sorry
Me: have a nice day.
————
Here are my thoughts as a student of business...
Amazon specializes in “the last mile” (in their delivery service anyway) and when they deliver the package they also deliver on that value proposition.
However, now it seems that one of their shipping providers is failing at getting packages that last mile, which is resulting and destroying the idea of their value proposition in a customers eyes. (Affecting more than me as the rep said)
Now, instead of believing that Amazon will get things to me, saving me that last mile trip to the store etc., I firmly believe that it is a toss up as to wether I will ever receive my package (based on carrier)
I know that if I was in Amazon’s position (a carrier hurting my overall value proposition with consistently unacceptable service) that I would come down on them with a force they have never seen or drop them entirely.
But of course, every company reaches a point where they have such market share and sway that they take their eye off the ball when it comes to their value proposition to customers.16 -
Me vs Facebook support
Me: I'm having trouble with xyz even though I followed your instructions. You have problems with the Arabic language*insert very detailed and professional explanation here with links*
FB Support: please follow the instructions here *insert link*
Me: I already followed those, that's why I'm asking for your help. Please provide detailed instructions.
FB Support: We can't help you, we don't provide detailed instructions, please follow instructions provided in said links.
Why the fuck are you called support then huh? I can read the damn documentation.. Hell I get paid for reading the motherfucking documentation!!3 -
So I was talking to the support engineer at PayTM regarding their integration in my app. Idiots!
Many users in my app want PayTM as the payment option. I am using their API and after trying for a few hours, when it was just not working even though I followed their guide and docs, I decide to call the support. After I described him the errors I was getting, he asked me to follow the docs which, being a developer myself, I already did. When I told him that I have done everything exactly as mentioned in the docs, he asked me to hold the phone. Came back after 1 minute and said, "Sir, I discussed the issue with my TL and he says that our API does not work in PostMan."
I hung up.
I managed to make it work by trying evening I could possibly do. But I am amazed what kind of people are running such a giant company. PostMan is made to test APIs. Idiots!4 -
Doing occasional first & second level support besides my actual job of coding can be fucking annoying and time consuming.
Just let me code in peace and listen to doom metal!
"Blabla our 17 years old plotter does not respond blabla fix it please"
"My computer is so slow, make it faster"
Go die in your filthy office chairs by being pierced through the stinking butthole you ignorant endoplasmatische retikula!1 -
A friend of mine who works in tech support at a college gets this call. The guy on the other end (a college professor) asks how to open an application on his computer.
Tech Support: "There should be an icon on your desktop."
He then hears this strange rustling noise over the phone.....
Tech Support: "What are you doing?"
Professor: "You said to look on my desktop."
Tech Support: "Ummm, hang on. I'll be there in a few minutes." -
I called customer support for an unnamed site.
I: I don't seen it when I refresh page
Support: press CTRL + f5
I: I tried, I still bad
Support: remove memory from your computer and reinsert it. Then it will go.
Wtf, Best support ever :)2 -
I'm a bit tired of dev and applying for a customer support job for half my current income. During interview I already got promoted to technical support. Even dev job was possible, but I'm done. I've seen the wheel reinvented too much. Also, the looks of software became more important than ever and that's not something I do.
But I'm very positive now. I know the company already, they're great! Super culture! Always hired the right people and me once before as a py dev4 -
Today in the tech store I asked an assistant where to find the CAT6 ethernet cables.
He said he didn't know and ended up in asking me for technical support.4 -
"A user got this error, can you help?"
Can you at least tell me WHERE you got the issue? How you got to that point? Anything??!?!?!?!?!?!?!3 -
As proud as I am of getting GameMaker studio functioning properly under a VM and then being able to automatically push the games to the Linux desktop... It still pisses me off that some people just refuse to support Linux because of 'no one wanting it' or 'it's not worth supporting all the different distributions', when people are using 20+ GB of storage just to run your application on a Linux desktop clearly proves that people actually want this... (That's also ignoring the thousands of other users who keep asking for it)
10 -
!wk66
Maybe?
If we (Web makers) stop making [ie,safari,android native browser] compatible websites... Maaaaybe, just sayin' maaaybee THEY will take some time to support web standards ?? maybe ?10 -
The moment a support tells you they won't fix the bug, because it had existed for so long that it's a feature now.1
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Company calling for support. Printer in machine room makes unusual noises. There are 5 loud 90 dB machine roads forming metal. And the first thing they hear through the hearing protection is....... a printer making silent squeaky noises...
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me: *starts receiving emails of clients having technical problems and errors and asking for help* wat, im being flooded with all these mails!
me: *sends email to boss* umm... i think im receiving the wrong mails...
boss: nope! from now on, you'll be in-charge of tech support for our clients. good luck and merry christmas!
me: *dies internally* happy holidays to u too5 -
working in IT support sometimes makes me wonder if people are really that stupid or they try to test me if i am really stupid.4
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Today the corporate proxy decided to flake out on me. Every single external site was blocked.
I was shown a very helpful page informing me the site I wanted to visit was blocked. If I had legit need to access the site or believe the site was blocked in error I could contact IT via a helpful link.
And yeah, the IT support site was blocked by the proxy too.1 -
I once had to deal with GoDaddy customer support telling me their servers only support putty for SSH.
Well, fuck you! I use Linux and I SSH with a single command in terminal, no doubt putty is great but get your senses straight that putty is not the only way to SSH when you are being customer support for a tech company, don't just fucking recite a phrase list. Besides, they should understand Windows with putty is not the only way to SSH into servers, juicessh via Android, openssh via Linux, etc...
*btw, before you all rant about me buying from GoDaddy, I was lead dev for a startup few years back and they had already bought it from GoDaddy. Ofcourse they also provide free offers along with an order, which often includes email addresses, annoying support, gut-wrenching quality of service access...1 -
Raised a support ticket with an api provider about unclear error messages. They were as confused as I was and as the thread continued I essentially ended up debugging thier application for them!3
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I guess im a pretty soft guy, but my boss keeps asking me to be rough with our clients because they are abusing our support service(me).
Im just not that guy..
what do?7 -
My coleague's story
- before leaving after long day at the office final look at support cases (after official support hours)
- sev1 ticket logged an hour ago, noone called us (although should have; after support hours)
- angry manager calls and demands to get in touch with the client immediately (we're already after support hours, FTS should pick the case, not us)
- we reach out. Customer has business-impacting case
- after initial info gathering: some cert got expired, they got a new one and placed it in the app's directory. The app still does not work
- the first question we ask: "are you sure you have placed it in the right directory?"
- "yes, we are sure. No problems there" - answers a voice with indian accent
- noone finds the root cause for hours.
- It's already 1am
- someone from client's specialists comes up with an idea: "are we sure the cert is in the right place? Let's try to move it to the same directory the old one was in the first place"
- .................................................
- production is working again
- "Why didn't anyone from support suggest this?!?!"
- .................................................
- 2am. Case solved, manager is informed everything's allright now.
- In the morning we get yelled at by the manager bcz we supposedly missed a sev1 ticket and were incompetent during the conf. call
This reminds me why I stay away from support. And why I started hating people. And why I do not work with indians (our ways are too different for me to stay sane and not to kill anyone).3 -
Remote server software installation support is great!
You can watch them trying to understand where what is on the file system, they repeatedly switch between windows without doing something on either of them and they set your IE browser policy to allow all kinds of domains & sites which are preventing them from downloading their software.
Todays guy did not know how to transfer a file between the local machine and one in remotedesktop. 😄
(If you do support like this, then don't get me wrong, I'm not making fun of you personally, it is just funny to watch if you have to actually sit there and wait for the support to finish.) 😉1 -
So a couple of days ago we noticed a strange behaviour with a playment plugin for an online shop of a client. We opened a ticket in the support center and got a response that basically said "Nobody ever reported this behaviour. Therefore this is not a bug."3
-
Today I bought some parts at Conrad Electronics (they have a blue logo) and wore a blue shirt.
I got asked for technical support a total of five times.😅6 -
story time:
I use onedrive for sharing some files and shit. So one day one of my folders, which I got from a downloaded zip, caused an error "files couldn't be synced because of unallowed character in the title".
Turns out there was a space at the end of the folder title. I change the name, I get some error.
"Okay, no problem, I don't need that folder anymore anyway" So I delete it, doesn't work, the error message reads "Can't delete folder because it no longer exists.". "What the hell" try deleting it some more. Emptying it before deleting. Deleting the parent folder. I try formatting it before deleting. Nothing works.
Deleting from the online onedrive client causes it to briefly disappears but refreshing places it back right where it came from.
So I resort to my last hope, customer support.
I explain the whole thing.
I get a reply. Oh boy.
I get explained that if the recycle bin is full, the file will be placed back.
After that, I get an explanation on how to remove a file xD
Thanks OneDrive Team, really helpful.6 -
Fuck first level support.
Usually the users are the problem because they don't know how to reboot or they delay software updates to infinity if you give them the option.
Additionally, having to log in on a user's computer, I always feel like I'm entering a messy's appartment. How can they live like that?
Fucking imbeciles.3 -
Client: my video player has two play buttons.
Me: ok that's weird let me check yes it does have two play buttons your right so turns out the client has taken a screenshot of another video player with the play button still on it and used that as their poster image hence two play buttons.
Finding it impossible to explain this to them arrrrggggghhh why why why1 -
So now you can sent email straight in your@buthol.ee
Special tech support for people, who leave 1star review
https://devrant.com/rants/947975/
5 -
Why am I sad, depressed, demotivated, you ask?
Because I was asked to create-react-app with nodemailer, it worked well on heroku, YAYYY MEE, "
"NOTHING GOES WRONG IN DEPLOYMENT FUCK YEAH"
Little did I know that was a "demo" for the business people, My superior / manager/boss wants me to deploy on 1and1 service provider,
> Okay 1 and 1 service provider does provide Nodej, so it shouldn't be hard.
> Turns out it is a Windows hosting server IIS 10 without URL Rewrite.
> *INTERNAL SCREAMING*
I went up to him to talk about this issue and requested to let me talk to 1 and 1, and get this sorted
> But bro, if we cannot fix it, I think they also cannot fix, probably.
*INTERNAL SCREAMING AT PEAK*
I just want URL Rewrite installed on IIS10 so that I can move on to the next project.
A little background for this project
> No support from him during development.
> I personally used HD Images, because why not?
> Website seems slow because of HD Images, and now he complains about it.
You fucking (managers) want a website to be scalable and fast and yet you choose to focus on B U S I N E S S instead of support the real guy.
I'm fucking sick and tired, it took me 24 hours figure out the issue because there is nothing on 1 and 1 support/ forum/help center.
Another 24 hours to try and fix, yet no luck.
I'm gonna finally point the domain name to heroku. Fuck, I'm so fucking done6 -
I'm pissed off as fuck. By far these were the worst fucking 2 weeks in a very long time.
My grandma died. At work I had to do shitty tasks and IT support for stupid end users, like an overpayed PC technician. I couldn't find any time to write a single line of code on any of my personal projects.
And I still can't find a fucking developer job. I feel like I'm stuck in this IT hell forever.
Kill me3 -
Pro tip. How to cut down on those pesky support emails? Break the only email link in your app I can find.
Genius.
3 -
One of the worst support threads I've come across.
http://answers.microsoft.com/en-us/...
Context: Trying to open a transparent image that is mainly black. But not being able to see it due to the default black background.8 -
So I work for a VPN company as the Info Sec manager long story short I'm not usually the pleb who does customer support.
But today I ended up having to do this. I spent over 1 hour helping a client that a support agent escalated the request for to me. So I figure out that his network adapters are sharing incorrectly.
I fix problem.
He tries to connect.
Denied access so I check our servers for the request and he's blocked.
I think that's odd.....
I check active subscription and this person ISNT A CLIENT THATS ACTIVE....
WHY IS SUPPORT SO IGNORANT.
UGH.1 -
Someone stole my CC number and paid a bunch of spam ads on FB with it tonight. When I woke up and blocked it, there's been already 400€ worth of transactions done with it :(
But the real rant is that it took 3 fucking hours before I managed to get in contact with someone at FB who could actually help me. Fuck those AI chat bots & "Tenk yu kom agan" support guys!9 -
!rant
Neighbours asked me to help them setting up their new printer.
Bug: Installation of the driver fails.
Fix: The printer has to be turned on during installation.
I earned 20 bucks for this single press of only one button.
First-Level-Support in the neighbourhood: Annoying but pays like hell.3 -
!dev but tech related...
Got a device configured in a location that is fairly far away from me. It operates only through a cloud service specifically for these devices, with one of the most unreliable web interfaces and smartphone apps I have ever used.
I email my issues to the tech support who don't seem to understand the problems and can't fathom the difference between "reset settings" and "restart device".
Eventually they need to log in to my account to find out whats wrong. I explicitly state that under no circumstances should any settings be changed.
Today I find that the device has been removed from the cloud account. I physically must be near it to register it on the account again. Tech support don't seem to know what happened and the best explanation is that it is "a glitch". They have no way to add it back themselves. I have to travel to the device.
Funny how this happened after I let them access the account... -
Bittrex is "amazing"...
I had lost my 2FA a long time ago (as my phone fried) and missed the account ferification deadline which caused my account to get disabled. Off we go to support!
0. Nothing to rant about at this point. I just created an account in their zendesk, logged in and logged a ticket to reset my 2FA and reactivate my account. They asked me for info, I provided it to them and got my 2FA disabled. Hooray!
1. I then asked to reenable my account. They sent me a link to restart the verification process. I open up that link and log in. I'm asked to upload some photos. I select requested photos from my galery and hit [UPLOAD]. An error pops up saying that smth wrong happened and I need to reload that site and reupload my photos. After page refresh they are telling me they are validating my uploaded info (w/o any way to resubmit my info, which, according to the error seen below, was not successfully submitted in the first place)...
2. So I reach out to the support guy again. Guess what he replies! He says he's sorry but he cannot help me any more and I need to create a NEW ACCOUNT in their support site with the same email <???!!!???>
3. I try to log in to the support portal and my access no longer works. MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN DELETED! WTF!!!
4. I do as I'm told and create a new acc with the same email. Now I can log back in. So I'm raising a new ticket saying I still cannot finish my verification process due to the same error. It looks like it's going to be a fun ride with them so I can't wait to see what they'll reply.2 -
Writing some software for a school while sitting in their support-department.
A teacher comes in and asks if we can find the email adress or facebook of a woman he met on vacation because he wants to send her something.
Someone asks: 'what do you want to send her?'
A two second long silence followed...
Everyone starts laughing.
Teachers... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1 -
The IT policy at my company is down right ridiculous. You’re required admin rights to fucking move desktop shortcuts to the trash, all chrome extensions and almost anything you download from the internet is a ‘virus’, good luck getting driver support for external devices.2
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I just love the Windows Developer Support... but unfortunately I don't have the possibility to use it (error when try to submit an incident). :D
Maybe it's a feature, not a bug...
3 -
I will delete my question. Fuck you all! Fuck Shopware and your lack of support! Fuck StackOverflow and your erratic standards of downvoting, deleting, or simply ignoring helpful questions, while piling up React and jQuery details bullshit. Fuck you all seriously! Just typing this to see if anyone of you yankees cares enough to down vote or ban me. Fuck the fucking fuckers!17
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I used to think our IT Support team is the most insufferable. I'm wrong and very sorry; if you guys are here to forgive me.
On the chart now is the security team.
The head of the security team doesn't simply understand that you can fucking not mix some programming languages in the same execution environment.
He is flipping making arguments on executing Javascript in a Java environment. He simply thinks Java is fucking Javascript. Yeah, I know you can make some drifts with GraalVM; sure not in our use-case.
Cross-Site Scripting has a fucking limit. You can't just pass any piece of code to mixed with a complied code and expect it to execute. Except if I'm wrong then I need someone here to show me how because he couldn't tell me how as he was just cynical in every damn way. moda sucker.4 -
Thoughts on forced emergency support?
I am with a company I generally like a lot but there are some things I generally despise about it. Like forced emergency support.
I am not good at it, I don't claim to be.. I generally struggle with anxiety, stress and depression, I specifically avoid roles that require on-call service .. I'm a senior level software engineer.
I find it very frustrating to be expected to be on-call from 7-7 in support of infrastructure I did not architect, did not code and basically know nothing about. They provided me with a ten minute discussion about ops genie and where to find internal support articles for my training and that's about it.
Last night I received an ops genie alarm and acked it as I was instructed to do, I went around the system looking for the alarm cause and basically had no idea what to do except watch our metrics graphing praying there wouldn't be an outage. Fortunately the alarm was for our load balancer scaling operation, it was taking a bit longer than usual ... Sigh of relief. Stay up til 6am and fall asleep..
Wake up to a few messages from various people asking why I didn't do this and that and it took me every inkling of my being to remain cordial and polite but I really just wanted to scream and say a bunch of shit that would probably get me fired.
What the actual fuck?
Why expect someone that has no god damn clue what they are doing to do something like this? Fuckin shit training and no leadership to mentor me and help me get better at this role, no shadowing, no regiment ..
#confused and #annoyed
Thoughts? Am I a bitch? Is it unreasonable for me to expect my job duties stay in line with what I'm actually good at!?
Thanks.14 -
@dfox and @trogus I was just wondering how do you support yourself and devrant? Do you have a day job or are you freelancing or is devrant making money to sustain you and itself?7
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Client: my website is down
Support: can you just google my ip and let me know your IP
Client : OMG google is down!!! Oops router was'nt plugged.
**Client is on call just incase you wonder :p -
It does give you that cold rush feeling, when a low level support agent can just use some sort of "user impersonation" feature and literally send you screenshots of your conversations or other, what seems private information and should be only used for actual escalated staff, for when there's a need for an actual middleman (ie. client not paying - logs review) and for everything else there should be a test account they can do screenshots from, e.g. for general website use questions3
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Gotta love it when your client tells his whole company that they can contact you for any question related to computers. I'm a fucking developer and no first level Microsoft Windows support.2
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The technical incompentency of the people I try to help with their tech problems, is utterly astounding. Especially family members. For the love of God, if somebody is offering you tech support, put in at least some minimal degree of effort!
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Last week i couldn't use a website to download a product because it failed on every browser and even with addons deactivated. The error said "please input the version" and version is a checkbox.
Wrote to support.
Me: "Download does not work! It gives error xyz. How can i get the product?"
Support : "Oh, you can easily get it from our download page."
Do you even read your mails?!? -
Three days ago my focus was shifted from a development role to a support role. I was shifted to replace another support guy who had used fraud to get the position. I have no experience with this role but there was decent KT and I'm catching on fine. During onboarding and KT I'm serving as the first contact for new tickets and whatnot...
Today I got a ticket with an error on our production instance that no one had ever seen before. It prevented the guy from using our service entirely. I tried to reproduce it and... I couldn't use the service either. No one could. Everything was down. I could see the sweat building on my manager's forehead.
Thankfully another member on my team has done a bit of support before, so we collaborated with each other and other teams throughout the day to figure out what's wrong and how to fix it. I'm listening to them chat remotely as we speak - so far I've been working on it 9 hours straight.
This service is used by everyone - it's a business critical service with due dates on actions and escalations to managers... Imagine if the support ticketing service for your company crashed. That means a lot of people are asking what's wrong, requiring extensions, etc. I've been answering to managers and seniors in the business throughout the day.
The best part? We figured out why the server went down, and the reason is fantastic: someone updated the server's code without telling anyone, and all they had done was remove critical parsing code. Just took it right out, pushed, redeployed. We don't know who did it or who even has access to do that. I guess I have some detective work cut out for me after we've fixed everything that was broken by that.
I miss coding already.1 -
I will NEVER work in customer support. When my friend said that, I thought ,,it can't be that bad". Now I understand him. Well, once you experience how it is talking with that idiots... Two fucking senceless hours. Words cannot explain how much i hate it.
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WTF IS THIS? Been popping up all day.... I tried googling but official support says to uninstall Office and Visual Studios....
WTF MSFT!!!! Quite frankly it feels even tech support at tech companies aren't very competent.... just staffed by a bunch of call center monkeys?
5 -
user an support: bekomme keine push-nachrichten.
support: darf ich ihre User-ID haben?
user an support: CHE-123.456.789
support an user: nein, das ist unserer Mehrwertsteuer-Nummer, wir brauchen ihre User-ID.
User an support: mann seid ihr umständlich, nehmt doch die Nummer und probiert es erstmal.13 -
PAID for a support call,
dude's answering could barely be understood while speaking English and didn't know a thing about the topic of the call itself (it was very very specific).
The call lasted 5m and was only used to schedule another one on Monday to let them understand what we're asking and come back at us with a solution.
Fucking waste of time.4 -
When the support team flirts with you so maybe you will forget about the issue (that your website has 30 minutes downtimes everyday). 🤭
3 -
I need a cloning machine for those days when 3 clients call support for top priority issues and each one needs it in the next 20 minutes2
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In my firm we've got a shadow IT team where I'm part of. Sometimes we need to call the "IT support team" who are lacking the knowledge of common IT sense. Some weeks ago I called them up to extend our ip range since we've got no rights to do it ourselve. They replied with: please disconnect the cable and reconnect it. (Bear in mind our lease time was 24h)
Some other guy called me up to check my pc for viruses... he was looking for the task manager so I pushed ctrl shift esc and he asked me wondering HOW did you do this? He even didn't know things like %appdata%. I had a talk with him and gave him as much tips as I could.
The poor fella
Thanks for reading my nonsense post1 -
I allowed my previous employer to move me from a developer position to a support role and I didn't even complained about it.6
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Man I fucking love debugging Windows applications... OpenVPN dun shit the bed because the management interface is locked (on the Windows client I presume?) - so poke that error message into the Gargler along with "openvpn windows"... First result, OpenVPN forums. Excellent. ... Some dickhead in the forums: "this is the wrong forum, this is for Access-Server users, and you the user MUST have terminated the process".
Come fucking on! If only I could replace this fucking device with a proper OS already (and no I can't). Windows itself being a clusterfuck is one thing but the goddamn support around it. Atrocious!4 -
i often do tech support in chat rooms in my free time (because i like spreading good will,) so here's a tech horror story
"""
"hey, can you help me fix something?"
sure?
"so i dug my old XP machine out of my closet and replaced the bad Ethernet card with a different one and when i plug in the ethernet cable the PC bluescreens."
# oboi
did you install the drivers? Sounds like it needs drivers
"no"
then install them
"no"
why not?
"it doesn't need any"
why do you say that?
"it said \"This device is set up and ready to use.\" in the balloon in the corner"
it has generic drivers to deal with devices before the real drivers can be found
"shouldn't they work?"
some devices need the extra support provided by the intended drivers, so the generic ones cause issues in those cases
"ok, well, where do I find them?"
do you have a model number?
"yes, it's " # scrubbed for... privacy? i dunno
gimme a few minutes
<insert 45 minutes of aggressive Googling for (str(DEVICE_MODEL_NUMBER) + " xp drivers")>
alright i have the drivers, go here:
# again, removed for... idk.
"they don't work"
# oh here we go
why not?
"These drivers are not compatible with your system architecture."
what version of XP are you using?
"XP Pro"
x86 or x64?
"x64"
# fucking...
ok so this is gonna get real complicated real fast: use x86 XP or I can't help you, none exist for x64 XP.
"oh ok"
<User left the IRC channel.>
"""4 -
I love 2:30 am support calls, especially for a system I know nearly nothing about and when I'm supposed to be 4th in line for a call.
Hopefully I made the right decision. Now let's see if I can fall back asleep.2 -
More tales from University Tech Support:
Haven't been able to get ahold of this staff member for weeks to do required maintenance. Emails, VMs, surprise office visits, she's never anywhere to be found.
Finally my boss emails her with the subject line "Free Money", and gives her some sass in the email about calling IT back.
Yeah, she responded in minutes...2 -
I used to work in IT support during my training, this is the most accurate description of the job:
If everything just works people will be like "what do we pay you guys for?" And if something doesn't work: "what do we pay you guys for?" ...*sigh*1 -
I didn't realise just how retarded people are when they call tech support.
Working combined line 1/2 tech support and people just describe shit in the most unhelpful way ever.2 -
Spent 2 hours today doing L1 support work!!! God i hate working with lazy people!!!
2 hours wasted checking for an application bug on all deployed client pcs when the only issue is the printer has no fucking paper!!!
L1 and L2 support exists for these kind of issues!! Do your god damn jobs!!! -
I AM going to put parts of my SUPPORT request in CAPITALS to point OUT how annoy I am.
SORT IT OUT
Seriously FUCK OFF4 -
I had contact with the BenQ support recently.
On my small GV1 beamer, the auto switch off timer cannot be canceled by pressing a button. So I wrote them, that this is maybe a bug.
That was the answer:
"Thank you very much for your inquiry.
Insects entering the monitor through vents are a common problem that is not covered by the manufacturer's warranty as it is not a manufacturing problem.
This problem is known to all monitor manufacturers.
The cause of the problem is usually that the monitor is used in a dark environment without a secondary light source being activated.
If the insect is still alive, you can lure it out with a light source (the monitor should be turned off and cooled down).
If the insect is dead in the monitor panel, wait until it is completely dry. Then you can carefully press on the screen, next to the insects (avoid crushing them) and it should fall into the panel and leave the visible area.
Nevertheless, please send us a picture where we see the problem you are telling us, I inform you that the picture must be less than 2 MB in size."4 -
My conversation with Avalara support (API for taxing):
Me: Hey I'm implementing your API for a client. The requests are going through, I get a valid response back but all goods are taxed with $0. Can you please give me a hint what I might be missing?
Sup: You're using Salesforce Commerce Cloud, requests might be blocked through their firewall
Me: I don't think so, here are some sample requests and responses I just created. The object returned matches the one in your API Doc.
Sup: This isn't a system controlled by us, no support.
Me: So how in the world can it be you don't control your own endpoint?
Seriously, if you don't want to help, next time just say fuck you...5 -
So I was opening a support ticket on the portal of our cloud provider
I went to copy the affected database instance to put it in the ticket
for some reason ctrl+c didn't work and I pasted what was in my clipboard instead
and didn't notice until the issues was submitted
This what was in my clipboard
http://quotesnhumor.com/wp-content/...3 -
Dear Docker Support,
You suck.
--
regards,
User with unanswered ticket for a month (and not the first time)3 -
I get so irritated when i see people pirate things, i get it, they want it yeah but the fact that someone gets pissed off because i use opensource software, try collaborate and better the software and support by donating some projects. Then they try and convert me to their "copy and paste" mantra. Fuck no.
If only they knew the hours and time given up from their lives, taken away from famillies and social lives developers spend trying to make apps that alfeady makes everyones lives simpler but they dont see that, they are so use to having things given to them they wont realise hoe important it is until it was taken away.
Support the developers because if it was the other way around. Regardless if you wanted it or not, you would like support. We do do this because we love it and with everyones help, we can progress forward together.
I really dont care that i look like as ass to the guy now, i really dont care what takes from it but just venting i guess..1 -
The more I surrond stuff in try{...} statements, and handle with geeky error messages that should actually never happen (e.g. "TransactionId 73545 not find for UserId 10. Look for Interaction 212345 at the logs."), the more I think our Customer Support area will someday need a Customer Support Support area.2
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My monday started with boss calling me at 0730 asking if I could do a support-mission at the offices of the local landfill - this because 2 of the support people had called in sick and we where short on manpower. RIGHT! I said, with a sense of dread and disbelief. ended up spending much of the day there. fixing everything from default reader of pdf to calibration of mouse sensitivity.
It's not like I need to code or anything, since I am working on two different projects and in competition of a third. Finally came back to the office after been at the landfill until lunch and got another support mission; this time internal mission. namely write out from our companys database and import the data to an absolute atrocity called PowerBI so our accountant get the numbers......... FINE!!! I'll do that too, but dont come to me and cry when the project delivery date gets postponed into eternity!!!3 -
Applied in a company for a development work, as I have been a developer for some time now and want to switch jobs. The new company was larger and I had no experience of how processes work at larger companies.
I got a call and after the usual chit-chat I got asked if I would be interested in a support role. Since this was new to me I was afraid to flat-out say 'no', so I told them that I had applied to a developer role through their website. They said that theirs is a service-based company and interaction to clients is something everyone has to do. I started digging, as to why the current position is different from the one indicated on the website.
After some more conversation, the call ended.
Later I came to know from an acquaintance that there are both support and development roles at that company and since support positions are few people's "first choice" they first try all the candidates that call; those that fit into the support roles are assigned there.
Needless to say, the compensation and general nature of the support jobs is much inferior to proper development positions.
I dodged a bullet.1 -
Product owner: when will you have that script written and submitted to DBAs?
Me: if nobody bugs me, hopefully COB today.
Product owner: great!
*user support*
*user support*
*user support*
*user support*
*user support*
Team lead: write this other script.
Me: I just finished user support, I have another script to write first. Does yours take priority?
Team lead: yes.
Me: ok....*sigh*
*writes 2nd script*
*submits 2nd script to DBAs*
Product Owner: you done?
Me: *face palm* ......NO! -
Client: "According to the Postgresql Version Support Policy, 9.3 will be expired by September 2018. That's only a few months away."
Me in thought: "Expired? Like a rotten egg? With an expiration date? OK, chill. His English isn't that good. Maybe he meant that support expires since its EOL."
Client: "We need to upgrade so that we can continue using the database."
Me in thought: "Yeah, he really meant "expired" in database too."4 -
Bad English aside I am so sick of incompetent customer service reps. Holy shit it's like they will hire anyone these days.
Here just read from this script and not the code version. That's all the tech you need to know right here on this single piece of paper.
Fucking incompetent bastards need to go work at a non technical job like Burger King because tech support is beyond them.
They'd probably fuck that up to. That's a completely different rant, those who can't even do fast food jobs right. At that point just go get on disability because your fucked.
To be fair I will occasionally get someone in the tech support sector who knows their shit but it's few and far between and its always a welcome surprise.12 -
You know these people who want your support but do everything they could possibly do to prevent you from helping them?!
This one is about text-based support.
Basically, I told them to use a software. One guy said: "There is always an error right in the beginning when I start the app."
I ask: "What does it say?"
Another dude joins: "Yes, I get the same. Update fails or something..."
I ask: "What's the exact error message?"
Second guy: "Retrieving update failed or something similar..."
*whaaa, guess what: this is by no fucking way what I meant with "exact error message"*
Well, I ask nicely to look it up again and tell me the details.
Then, I suggest a possible solution for this abstract problem. Answer:
"No, it only happens at start."
What the fuck do you think I am? A stupid monkey who cannot read?! I know that it happens at start, that's why I suggested what I suggested! And don't think you're so intelligent to believe that deleting an update.exe in %appdata% had nothing to do with your problem. You don't have a single fucking clue how software works in its simplest manner.
What the fuck. -
"So, my company made a Mother's Day video, with photos from mothers around the company, with their children and stuff. A while ago they sent an email asking for replies with photos from those who wanted to participate, blah blah.
Then the video came out, and some people were missing. They complained.
HR then complained to IT Support that 'some emails didn't arrive'.
Support then replied to the ticket with screenshots of the person's own email inbox, with all the so-called missing emails.
HR then called back, apologizing for having screwed up with their own email inbox."
And this is another story of injustice with the poor IT department.
Or another story about people who can't properly manage their inboxes.
Or both. Your choice.
I just received it from a friend (I guess I should bring him into DevRant).1 -
Tales from University Tech Support:
Me: please send us 2 or 3 times you're available for us to troubleshoot that issue
Them: I'm available at 3:30
Obviously not a Math Major... -
When my company decided they needed i18n cause we had one Japanese customer so we need to support multiple languages. And the customer churned after we released the Japanese version of the app1
-
On support this week. Had to work until 7pm because of a bunch of pending tasks from last weeks support pair, had to wake up at 2am to restage our apps in our cloud env, and then wake up at 6am again to do deployments and validation only to have management breathe down my neck as to why my deliverables aren’t done yet.
It’s only been day 1.6 -
Why do the issues that have been bugging me for weeks/months almost always go away immediately when the support person replies "I'm looking into this"? And almost always the support person claims he "didn't change anything".
How can I not think they are covering their asses and lying to my face? How am I supposed to trust support after this...?6 -
I'm on the 2nd week of a support rotation. One of the support reps contacted my manager about two tickets, one that is about an automated e-mail that didn't go out (which .. doesn't even seem necessary since the action has been completed?) and one because I accidentally put in the postcode on the 2nd line of an address field (which I immediately fixed when he commented on the ticket, minutes after, the same fucking day!)
We also had a super cringe all hands meeting today. I got plenty of sleep and am already exhausted.
My old roommate/landlord/co-worker sent me a text about his company needing devops people. I should probably finish updating me resume today. -
Had trouble to connect to our MySQL database, so I decided to open a ticket to the Database admins. At least they are pros and I'm sure they'll help me:
"Hey guys, I have trouble connecting to [Hostname]. I guess it's a firewalling issue would you take a look? Attached are screenshots, saying hostname not found.
Answer:
Hey Dominique, are you sure the password you used is correct? Is it yours or the sysuser pw what you sent to the server? How did you send it?
Me: (kind of confused) Hey dear admin, did you look at my error message? It says Hostname not found. What do you think how I provided any credentials?
Support: yes, I saw your screenshot and don't see any password entry. That's why I asked!
Me: Well, than... ok... go and search for another job. Yeah and consider fucking yourself. Kisses. -
I get plenty of sleep and wake up to my manager talking about escalating tickets. I'm on support this week and my queue was empty yesterday, but there were several new "urgent" requests that never got assigned to me.
Wait, so I'm responsible to assigning tickets to myself now? Our support is so shitty now. Our good document got hacked to pieces and now I can't find anything, and the customer support people are constantly bitching if things aren't done right now for tickets I was assigned while I was asleep.1 -
I'm tired of our daily support meeting. That's almost one hour i lost everyday in which i could ne productive in my project🙄
Everyday the god damn same stories about our dumb customers and at the end nothing change...
Maybe i'll start draw all my colleagues, while i sit there😄 -
I genuinely have respect for people and their professions.
But . . . why the fuck are IT Support generally hard to deal with.
I don't fucking have access to a Service and I damn need access. Support immediately without checking says: no you do have access go to xyz find the service click on it bla bla bla.
Bitch, you think I didn't try all that and just felt like having a conversation with you?
wtf5 -
Why would you say that your website should support IE?? Whyyy?? Who uses that except for downloading Chrome? You just make our lives miserable with that :(7
-
Support Ticket:
"OMG I DON"T SEE THE NEW THING YOU SAID WAS THERE!?!?!!? OH GAWD WHY WHY WHY!!!!"
setTimeout(fuckingActuallyLookThisTime(), 3600000)
"Oh never mind I found it."
God damn people, put some minimal effort in before you fire up tickets and emails or whatever.2 -
TL;DR
I just got a mail from our universities tech support for a ticket I openend a fucking year ago... They didn't respond for a whole year and are now working on it?
One year ago I had problems connecting to eduroam on my Linux machine. No matter what settings I tried I never got it to work.
So I decided to open a ticket at my universities tech support. Fairly fast they answered me and tried to find what the problem was. Somehow only half my username made it to their server which means their is no way I can log in.
The conversation went on for a few mails but we never managed to solve the problem...
Now after one year they send me a mail stating that I can call them if I still have this problem.
Wtf? Who answeres to a ticket from one year ago? Why is the ticket still open? Did they work on it or just randomly decide to reply to old mails? Why didn't they write anything in the meantime?2 -
Note to AltRant testers:
1. Tomorrow, I am going to force-expire build 1583 (the big update with the weekly group rant support) in favor of the build with the bugfix (mentioned here: https://devrant.com/rants/5888282) for consistency and for more up-to-date crash reports/feedback.
2. Limited macOS support is coming extremely soon, I will post a comment here in order to notify you about the added support. I believe the same TestFlight link is going to work for both macOS and iOS. NOTE: I haven't invested too much time with polishing the experience for macOS, so there will be bugs, there will be layout glitches and there will be compromises. I am well aware of all macOS issues but I just want to release something and then fix it along the way.1 -
I really dislike conflicting support. Tell me what I need to do to fix your service, don't offer maybes...3
-
So 90% of the Tech Support team is off today. So I decided to jump in to help the guys out:
Me: *solves issue
(one less ticket to solve)
Reporter: "thank you for your help!"
(re-opens the ticket)
Me: *recloses the ticket
Reporter: "thanks again"
(Reopens ticket)
Me: smashes head into desk
How am I supposed to get tickets solved when most of the open tickets are "thank you's"! -
I work on an webapp that should manage a huge ton of data, and some page needs to display a big part of them.
On this page, we had some checkboxes lists to display, so even more data. One of them wasn't behaving correctly tho, so we ask the support was could be the problem.
Answer : It might have too much data to display.
No shit Sherlock.
Answer : Please provide us a lighter version of it.
Ok, I'm gonna do a lighter version with a very few data so you can test a situation we will never encounter. Thanks ! -
Finally after almost two years they changed me to another team. Now they have me solving customer support issues 🥲
-
I just got ghosted by a live chat support member... Guess they finally realized they are idiots.
This is what happens when you give me some incompetent generic support staff that not only doesn't know shit but contradicts his own statements as well.
Time to give them a call and hope they have some actual technical people how knows their stuff over there....1 -
I have spent the last 2 days on the phone trying to get support for certain issues...
- Amazon
- Quickbooks
- CRA
It is universal that all support lines are complete garbage. Shitholes for stupid people to get paycheques.
I have noticed that this task has actually had a negative impact on the emotional state and it upsets me further that I have allowed this.
I am getting a virtual assistant to handle this because frankly, my time is too valuable to be consistently wasted by stupid people delivering no results.
"I am a software engineer and have tried all the normal debugging techniques"
"Did you try restarting it?"
"Yes, that was the first thing I did..."
"Well, would you mind doing it again"
"Yup... It did not work"
"Hmmmmm....."
5 minutes of silence...
"Have you tried the next step that you already read on our support site"
"Yes!"
"Could you try it again for me?"
"FFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKK YYYOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!"
I am literally listening to someone who is reading the god damn support page (and reading it at what seems to be a 3rd-grade level) GREAT!!!! -
Postgresql kept shutting down at odd times. Then it became predictable. I googled, went through mailing lists, archives, old threads, Stack overflow, friends, family, my bosses, my old colleagues, forums, chat groups and paid redhat support.
Apparently, I'm the only one and the first on this planet to have this problem. And it's scary.6 -
I'm genuinely contemplating changing my career to an IT support role from my current web dev endeavors.
I have become rather disinterested for quite some time with web development, I've been working with React, Angular, the regular Wordpress stuff with the theme building/modifying, headless instances, plugin development and whatnot and all of these have become more of a chore than anything else.
I'm leaning towards an IT support role as I genuinely have more interest in a user support/infrastructure support role than a developer role, the question is, is it doable ?. I know my way around Windows and Linux Servers, know LDAP, Active Directory, BASH, Powershell, Networking, can do cabling and whatnot but I don't have the experience to show off those.
Any tips would be greatly appreciated3 -
Part of one of the workarounds for Dirty COW is to disable ptrace.
ptrace is generally needed by debuggers.
I am team lead for L2 support at a company which makes a debugger.
RedHat are now shipping this workaround.
*ducks for cover*2 -
The first company I worked for had a policy to not ship any release, service pack or hot fix as long as there were still open bugs with the severity "critical" or "blocker". They wanted to ship a service pack nonetheless, but without violating the rule and thus keeping their KPI unharmed. So the support guys got in touch with developers and asked them to lower the severity of certain "critical" bugs. They said we by all means need to write into the comments that the severity of those bugs has to be reset after the service pack was shipped, so that those important bugs would not be left behind.
- Support team violates the rules set up by themselves.
- Developers had the actual work of doing so (and the blame to catch).
- The Support team's KPI just remained unharmed.1 -
When you end up running support queries and QA as a developer because the client's on site support team blame the provider instead of their half-assed user configuration job. #IHopeYouGetFiredAssholes
-
Recently had to deal with support of Ring and Nest due to some issues with their cloud services (i.e. not with my device or apps). So fed up of being told to uninstall, reinstall, reset this etc. when I go look on Twitter and see others reporting the exact same problems at the same time. What bothered me most is that I start by explaining the exact issue, that other have same problem (including other users on my account in different cities etc.) and they just ignore it and start copy/pasting bits of their self-help articles.
-
Being on second line support, I don't feel I need to say much else as I'm sure many of you know my pain right noe
-
Code is poetry. Customer support is rap battle
You caps locking, hell knows what trying to compensate, little arrogant person who volunteers in Wordpress plugin review team, - learn some manners how to communicate with fellow human beings.
If you don't have patience for help - quit what you are doing and spend the rest of your life not dealing with people.
At least be professional enough to have email signature, and not look like some teenager wrote us back in a bus stop.
I hope your emails gave you confidence to keep such manners in real life and someone punches you in the face this Friday.1 -
My work had Project Management software before to track tasks and issues, but the new boss wanted to switch to some new support tool. A bit annoying, but no problem.
After decommissioning the old (free) PM software, he decided to put off the new software implementation. Instead, he created a shared g suite inbox that we have to log in to and check for issues. No routing, no priorities, no notes section, no progress tracking, no tasks.
Now I have to give progress updates several times a day on my tasks because there is literally nowhere for me to report my progress. I have no idea what my priorities are since we have literally nowhere that specifies priorities. This is a PM and support nightmare, and as a former SCRUM master I'm about to lose it!6 -
!rant
I hate when my coworkers that work at call centre think programmers can be summoned to fix printer or PC in company. We have tech support for that.
I can fix the damn printer if I need to but dude dont go in like a stampedo of angry bulls.
My boss saw this and placed the do not disturb sticker on door of our section. -
The first time I got a support call out on our 24/7 dev support I was half way up a mountain and the phone was at the bottom- it didn't go down to well.
-
As soon as customers keep criticizing google misfeatures, the support discussion gets "locked and replying has been disabled."
Sad and poor assholedesign. Lucky for them that Miscrosoft somehow manage to release even worse "productivity" software bullshit. -
As a programmer in an non maintainer / support role, how much do you have to call customers on daily basis?6
-
I complain WAY too much about the free APIs I use, than I probably should. (sorry OneSignal Support 😔).
-
I don't get it.
The job listing is for a developer. I applied as a developer.
Why do they ask me whether I'd be willing to do tech support? What's their motive?6 -
I spent 3 days trying to do some azure devops work. Finally resolved to contacting support and their engineers resolved my issue in literally less than 15 mins.
This is a Microsoft support appréciation post. Twice they have saved me in mins after days of fumbling around and over engineering my ass off.2 -
I'm watching a video about http3. Did someone use http2 already? I know browsers support it but that's it. Did I live under a rock?19
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I'm so tired of all these new support channels. Why the fuck would I want 7 electron based apps/accounts just to ask questions or provide support? I don't want slack, gitter, discord, zulip and what not. Can't keep up with this bullshit.
Can we please get back to supporting open source on IRC? And fuck my life even that got split up due to shit happening in freenode (the company). FML distributed good, fragmented bad.2 -
Level 1 support moron dishing out bad instructions from his flowchart.
Wanted me to edit config files for a production setup, which would've killed shipping for all stations, in the middle of our shipping rush.
Fixed the problem while in the escalation queue for level 2. L2 confirms the fix, and bemoans the shit documentation L1 provided.
If its a business class (mission critical) system, hire decent support staff! You might try testing people for reading/listening comprehension, and then paying them a decent wage! This isn't good for my blood pressure... -
WooCommerce sucks, Block editor sucks, Elementor is no better, but if you want a real mess, just add more plugins. Bonus: if you use any "third party WordPress plugin", WooCommerce support can always say, oh yeah, I see that you are using a third party plugin, so we cannot support you, sorry.
Fuck, that's not the kind of front-end development that I was hoping to do in 2023.4 -
Delete data because it's corrupt. Angry call from support that their data is gone but they've managed to recovered it. Try to explain why it was removed only to get told they need that data. Fine whatever but if I see any more bug reports about that unit I'm not solving them because it's the data not the code. This is why I wish they'd test on their own databases, which they have, but somehow don't use.
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Who doesn't love customer support?
So anyway, I'm the point-of-contact at our company for a specific tool we use, sold by an external vendor, whose yearly licenses cost five-digits per user. I've been the point of contact for around three years now, and most of the time it's people way more senior than me asking for help with [specific edge case] and I send them on their way with the solution. Sometimes that isn't the case though, and I need to send an email off to [vendor]'s support team.
Good support is lovely. Our go-to guy on their support team was great. Timely responses, thorough, and always willing to dig to the bottom of the case. Sometimes it's us being stupid and not knowing what the [obscure feature] toggle does, sometimes it's just a mis-match between what we're trying to do and how the tool was designed, and sometimes it's a sneaky, devious bug in their product. I still remember the pride I felt when we got an email notification for the latest release of the tool that contained a bugfix that I had gone over with their dev team on call to figure out how to reproduce.
However, just over a year ago they changed our go-to guy. It started off small. The new guy was more terse in his responses. Less attentive to the little details in the message. Gather as much information as possible first, deal with the actual problem we were having second. He'd fix the immediate problem, but more open-ended questions about best practices to avoid another mess in the future would be ignored.
But slowly it got worse. Less responsive. Entire paragraphs of context would be ignored and had to be repeated to him. More generic responses. The odd case got dropped entirely. Last time I opened a support ticket, when I asked for additional clarification I got a ChatGPT-ass response only tangentially related to the actual context of my question (you could tell it was copy-pasted because he didn't even bother to paste without formatting).
Now upper management is unhappy with [tool] and are on my ass to get them to solve all our problems with it. What does new support guy reply with to my ticket with clearly bulleted questions, written in bold to separate them for clarity from the surrounding context? A two-line, nonspecific request for information entirely unrelated to the issue at hand, to the point that me and everybody from my company in cc privately went "why the fuck would we even send that??".
These next few weeks are going to be fucking rough, dear god may this be over soon.1 -
I'm actually looking for a new job.
A friend of mine: "I heard that company X is looking for informaticians."
Me: "And what is the job exactly? Do you know which languages/technologies they are asking for?"
Friend: "Fixing computers/printers problems and form employer on how to use product Y"
Me: "No way."
Friend: "Why?"
Me: "..." (Long explanation on the difference between developer and technical support)
I should have understood when she said "informatician" instead of "developer".. -
Worst support experience so far: German ISP sent their cheap default router which I opted for, hoping that I didn't need to rent a costly FitzBox. Provider activates the connection, everything fine, but slow and unstable on my Linux laptop only. Try using their website, their support chat etc. as they made it very hard to even open a support ticket. I gather all the information, ping, traceroute, netstat, logfiles, router settings, broadband measurement etc. and finally manage to open a support ticket of my issue adn they say they will send an engineer to my place in about 4 days. I stay at home that day and wait for the whole day, nothing happens!
I get back to them, even get a phone call after waiting about 1h in the waiting queue, only to listen to someone tell me that the appointment had been cancelled as the ticket had already been closed. WTF! They said they measured my connection and could not reproduce any error. Did not even mention my lengthy log files etc. It took my own research and another hint that there is an incompatibility with that specific router and some specific devices so I should really replace their cheap router with a FritzBox device. What they also did not tell, that you dont need to rent their branded FritzBox, there are cheap second hand models from another ISP that you can reconfigure by simply chosing another ISP in a dropdown list that contains every popular German ISP. But why are they popular? You can only choose between the different bad ones, that's why they don't seem to make an effort.2 -
If there is tech support that is just plain awesome, it these:
1) Namecheap
2) Newegg
3) Nyko
The ones that are meh include:
1) Linksys
2) AOL
3) Microsoft7 -
hello friends i building my first app support me and install it ;
Made with ♥️ 😂
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...3 -
I wonder if the support girls at this domain registrar company are real girls or just a fake front to appeal to the customers.
The ones I have chatted with so far have russian names.
If they are real girls, that's pretty cool. I appreciate girls in IT industry.
But if they are fake profiles, that's quite shitty of them to manipulate customers like that.4 -
There is no story of tech support for my mom. Because I don’t live with my parents anymore, and my father is Head of IT where he works. So he does all the IT support at home 😂
-
I gave computer tech support to a tech support person.
I don't know how I feel about this...
Like, Yo dawg, I heard you like tech support, so I gave tech support to tech support. -
Outlook irritates the heck out of me with its distracting notification bar that's recently begun popping up almost every time I start the god damn shitty application. What's worse, there doesn't seem to be any way to disable this annoying crap. Our support technicians are unable to solve it, so I wrote feedback to Microsoft. I don't think they are ever going to answer, though. They haven't even responded to another problem with Outlook that I reported nine months ago! Microsoft are reallly inconsistent, to say the least. Some of their products, like Visual Studio, VS Code and Microsoft Flight Simulator, are excellent! But, more mainstream software, like MS Office and Outlook, suck. Windows (I'm using Windows 10) is so so. It works alright if you know your ways with the registry editor. The same goes for the support. If you're lucky, you can get hold of a real, flesh-and-blood person who patiently guides you through the cumbersome process of, for example purchasing and installing Minecraft (believe me, it isn't easy, took almost an hour for the support person to solve. Creds to him). Sometimes, like when activating an old Windows license, you get to talk to a bot and that, surprisingly, works very well too. However, if you report any bug or feedback to Microsoft through an application's help section, you 'll never hear from them. They just ignore it.
2 -
i don't know how is apple a trillion dollar company. even it's chat support needs a support system. i had to chat to a human and all he did was forward my request 😭. Apple is going to lag so far behind in Ai, I'm telling ya. Suck a waste of time.1
-
new Rant("cartoon ep2");
// family tech support
My dad asked for help. His External HDD got corrupted. When will they ever learn? I'm teaching him to use a cloud storage right now.1 -
Why is it that most people that reply to feedback/support forms of just about any web site in general are complete dimwits? If they are people, that is. In that case, congratulations! You've just passed the inverted Turing test!2
-
Part of my remote work is to have a daily call reporting in on what I have done yesterday and what I am about to today. My colleague calls me for it. She's hired as a tech support and is suddenly assigned to take note and report on my work activities to our boss. Several times, I caught her pretending to know what I'm talking about like with Puppet configurations, Firewall diagnosis packets, ActiveMQ, Regex, etc. Most of the time, I just let it go as its not my job to validate her knowledge on these different but many services. Just do the call, get the report in, carry on. How difficult was that?
Yesterday, our call was left sour because I somehow blew up. I think I've reached my patience with this woman's assumptions to how these services work. Now I feel guilty for yelling at a lady but goddamn she stoopid for fibbing through my ear. Somebody help! What do I do?
If I report to our boss about her technical incompetence (politely), she might get sacked. She's a good tech support as long as she still has her trusty manuals by her, she can fix specific problems. But when it comes to unknown tech to her, she assumed she knew.
If I tell her about her weaknesses, however constructive I can get and as politely as I can get, all the while complimenting something about her, showing her how to improve herself, maybe she'll do better not to ask silly questions like buying a Puppet certificate? At least getting rid of ignorance would definitely help but not sure how she would take it. The worst thing I would imagine is her backfiring and yelling at me and then we ended up fighting.
If I kept quiet and tuck it all into a can, it will eventually implode as we go on.
This is not about her gender. I don't see her as a woman. I see her as a tech support engineer who should know her stuff.1 -
So usually, you have a product and provide help only for the higher payment tiers. However, time and time again I've stopped using software because whenever I encountered a problem, I could never get help. It's so frustrating. Wouldn't it be a good investment to provide more help? I'm pretty sure my questions would be pretty dumb and easy to solve.3
-
Support: can you please let me know what version of the software you are using?
Customer: I am using version 2.1 and 2.2
Support: 😧????2 -
TIL running a proper CRM and Customer Support channel is quite insanely expensive.
All the services charge per agent.
And if you add their other services like email marketing, the price just shoots up.
Had to pull a jugaad, and currently have it split between 3 different platforms - hubspot for customer support, sendinblue for email marketing and zoho for free custom domain email.2 -
If you come to me asking for help about why my tools aren't working or other tech support questions I will immediately assume whatever info you tell me is wrong.
-
Network Support is the worst place to work in especially when you done all your work in the first hour. Also, when managers are pain in the ass.
Might as well call it a call centre rather than Service Desk -
My confession is that I love doing OPS where I can fix an issue I caused myself and people are actually grateful for just having it working.
All other cases not so much.... But please team don't identify me and put me on support 24/7 :'( -
When you receive a support request for a your product that extend another product.
After few emails you get the access on the website and you discover that is using an old version of the software that you extend and that your support is crappy on that.
Never forget to ask before everything the version of stuff to save time.
Also don't hesitate to give a reimburse for this case or suggest for an update so you can sleep better and maybe ADD AN ALERT FOR THE OLD VERSION THAT YOU FORGOT TO DO on your release. -
So the first 3 hours at work on a Monday have been spent giving technical support to fellow co-workers on THEIR OWN local development environment. I have no idea how they've set everything up but they want me to fix their VM's.
-
Why is customer support sometimes so shitty? A coworker good a Win10 Laptop (Win7 before) and one program wasn;t working there anymore. So we reached out to the support asking to help us fix it. After over a month later and x-amount of E-mails back and forth. The answer was, you have to upgrade everything (Webserver, Database, Client) to use Win10 (no backwards compatibility). Which is fine, I don't mind upgrading and understand that software sometimes is not backwards compatible. BUT THAT IS SOMETHIGN TO STATE IN THE 2nd E-MAIL. Not an infinity later after a tiring back and forth of nonsense.
-
the last several times i reached out to support there were at least 5 days of tumbleweed and cricket noises. fine with that while not accessing personal mails during the week. last time i got a response the next day with request for more information and case closed the other day due to lack of response. well played...
-
Indian tech support just one-uped itself. They're now a web / app development agency.
/Sigh/
Why would I even need that? I'm a goddamn webdev myself! They even said they knew that.
For fuck's sake.
</rant>1 -
!rant
Just finishes my ITIL course (basically IT support management). It was pretty interesting, if somewhat irrelevant to me, but I got paid to do it (and get a qualification) so that's fine.
My issue was with one specific thing the instructor said - 'IT support always complain people who can't fix basic issues shouldn't be allowed to use computers. Wrong. Customers don't need to know anything about IT, that's your job'.
His analogy was that we can drive, or cook with a microwave, but we don't know how cars or microwaves actually work in at a technical level. In the same way, customers can use Word, but need us to recover their deleted files and install Office.
This seems sensible, but if you follow the analogy, there's a disparity.
I might not be able to *fix* a microwave, or know how the components inside it work. I can, however, cook with it. I know it won't work if the door isn't closed, or if it isn't plugged in.
Similarly, you need a license to drive.
Customers don't need to be able to *fix* the tools, but they should be able to *use* them properly. Turn them on, log in, open & use some programs, browse the web, etc. If they aren't confident in this - well, why are we giving an expensive bit of kit to them? I wouldn't hand a chainsaw to someone who doesn't know how to use it. Or a fine piece of china to someone clumsy.
I think people should need to prove they can use the tools before they are allowed them. They'd be happier in the long run.2 -
I do IT support for a Uni.
A ticket comes in about how the site looks weird after an update.
Spend 10 minutes looking through Chrome dev view (we don't have access to backend).
Give up and assign to web team.
... Why do the people who manage the site not know anything about web development? 99% chance it's a just a quick CSS fix. -
Learning a piece of software from an external supplier. The manual is thick like the bible. The examples fail without explanation. Trying to contact support just leads you down an endless trail of support articles. Damn right I get frustrated and bored. Can you blaim me for rather hanging around on devRant than desperately trying to work around problems in someone else's system/documentation? Yeah, I have to pull my shit together, but they have to pull theirs first.
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Work email conversation with a COTS app support tech:
Tech: Could you provide me the following from Sql Server? (instructions followed)
Me: I am not the DBA, but I've sent them the request.
Tech: Could you send me the following from Sql Server while we wait? (Instructions followed)
Me: As I said, I don't have permissions to access what you want.
Tech: Oh, I see now, you most likely don't have proper access to be able to retrieve the information.
Me: ..yeah. Thanks. -
What do you think about Samsung device list for latest android version support? it doesn't apply to my Galaxy S5... yeah I know Rooting is an option, but officially? never? are we stucked at that version?1
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Agency people, do you offer support contracts, if so, what do charge and more importantly what do your customers get?
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Hi guys, there's a way to change the nickname?
When I setted up the account I was a dumbass choosing my realname as nickname, now I've the fear that someone I know could be here3 -
It was a bad day :(
asked godaddy support if I could recover my files from a accidentally deleted ftp account.
They said yes we have that and we can recover those files but these servives are not free, price is only 149.99$.
Fuck I could make a new site in that much ammount -
Any one ever heard of the Solo? It's basically an open source FIDO compliant U2FA usb (with planned support for PGP/SSH key storage!).
The guys who made it are now miniaturizing it into the "Somu" (Secure Tomu).
Please support it! It's a great project and a great (and cheap) addition to basic system security.
https://crowdsupply.com/solokeys/...21 -
!devRelated !rant
Fellow devs, I request your support in my insanity, in about a month I will be running 22km to rain money for my local SPCA.
https://givengain.com/ap/remej/1 -
Being asked for and providing general computer user support... nothing irritates me more, especially when it's for family... I find myself getting angry at their incompetence, aware of it building but unable to prevent it.. like an out of body experience. I literally have to walk away. I said to the last family member, "I'm sorry, I'm a developer, I'm not in IT Support and this is why... I get too frustrated watching and instructing others. I don't deal with it very well."
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partially tech
Is it just me or every single time* I call to some support after first 30 minutes I really want to ask question "can I talk with someone competent?". And no disrespect to these guys, many people call in with simple stuff, but damn, I try to solve stuff on my own and call in only when I need someone who actually can get somewhat technical and have some knowledge about the product/service/smh. Infuriating.
* one hosting provider proven to be exception. -
Has anyone worked with ARCore for Android before? Gonna make a project using ARCore but the support is so baad. Barely any help online.1
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tl;dr: azure support are utter bollocks
so about late june-ish, my azure student subscription expired, which i wasn't notified about. but that's fine, surely once it's expired i can get my data back, right?
...right?
i try to download the .vhd file with my nodejs project on, and then contact their support after failing to mount the vhd. i asked them whether they could get my data for me (or at least provide some clear instructions, in case i mounted the vhd incorrectly). instead i was told to do loads of things, creating blobs, making snapshots, etc... all of which did absolutely nothing.
mid-august, i'm still trying to get my data back, when i get a call from, you guessed it, microsoft azure. a manager had told me that all my data had been lost, and that i was eligible for $500 in credit in compensation. i was angry (and rightly so), and refused their offer. i emailed azure support again expressing my anger, for them to tell me that my data wasn't lost...?
come to mid-september, and and i was fed up of waiting for my project. i wanted to finalise the fucker and launch the website, but azure had stalled me for well over two months. i had to put some money towards azure just to start up the vps, zip up the project, transfer it to another vps, and shut it back down.
and that kids, is why i wouldn't ever recommend azure.
ps: yes, i'm backing up files daily from now on1 -
The answer to every level 1 tech support call about internect connectivity:
https://youtube.com/watch/... -
Form an Italian Tech support.
https://m.facebook.com/story.php/...
If we will find some moths it it also possible to talk of bugs.
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Microsoft support number is also known for the Microsoft Office suite, Internet Explorer, Microsoft Windows, Operating Systems and the gaming console flagship is also tied up with the Microsoft support phone number. You can get the details at the Microsoft support number. If you are unable to resolve the issues even after reading the solution given on the website, you will get the chance to communicate with the Microsoft customer support number third-party service provider as well.
https://customerserviceshelpnumber.com/...
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That moment when the business expects you to work 60 hours and be available 24/7 to support rollout, but won't subject their team to the same.
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6pm Friday , opening a trouble ticket on a citrix server because an app has the wrong link ie.
The support that you answers:
Ie on your computer ? On the server ?
Nope, on the laptop of my little sister.... -
Waiting for the call I scheduled with Apple Support regarding my faulty power adapter. What is your experience with Apple Support? Any pointers you wanna give?2
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