16
kiki
27d

I own my grandfather's Victorinox Swiss Army Knife, probably from the eighties. I absolutely love it — it's just like the standard Unix toolkit. Minimalist, multi-purpose, efficient. This is what I have in my knife:
1. Two blades. I call them master (yes) and slave
2. Corkscrew. I call it "ed".
3. Hole puncher, but not just any hole puncher. Mine has an angular sharp edge to carve holes instead of just punching them. Super efficient for wood, plastic and thick fabric. It also has a hole so it can be used as a needle. I call it "vi".
4. Bottle opener which is also a screwdriver. I call it "more".
5. Can opener. This is my favorite one.

It can help you open just about anything. Any type of cans, closed pistachio nuts, oysters, your barely legal girlfriend's virginity — anything. When I eat pistachios, I'm holding my Victorinox in my hand opening tough ones with the speed of rm -rf ripping through your files. Oh, and it's also another screwdriver. I call it "cat".

But let's take a look at modern Victorinox. Maybe it's better? No, not at all. It's totally metrosexual featuring nail files, nail clippers, nail scissors and a flash drive (not even a good one).

Newer doesn't always mean cooler.

(I have the exact same one, photo from the internet because I'm too lazy)

Comments
  • 6
    Can confirm, used one on my barely legal boyfriend and he hasn't forgotten about it to this day.
  • 0
    @junon you’re the fourth German person making gay jokes I met here. Dm maybe? I’m 🏳️‍🌈
  • 3
    Yeah, these knives last forever. I live 5km from the factory and have been in there a few times, it's like a maze.
    If happen to come here, you can bring your knive and they will sharpen/service it for free. 😄
  • 6
    To be fair, that model even exists today, it's the "spartan".

    I have the "huntsman" in camo as shown below.
  • 1
    @Fast-Nop I googled it and it actually exists. But somehow when I visited Victorinox website I only saw gay ones.
  • 3
    I also have an by now quite old one. Its about 35 years or so now.

    And the blades are still among the sharpest I got and yes I do use it regularly.
  • 1
    @PonySlaystation that's actually cool.
  • 2
    @uyouthe Here it is on the Victorinox site, under "Swiss army knives -> medium pocket knives":

    https://victorinox.com/uk/en/...

    However, it's a bit hidden, and you have to click "show more" two times because the site doesn't just auto-load when scrolling down.
  • 4
    Classic. I keep their version of a leatherman in my purse

    https://victorinox.com/us/en/...
  • 2
    OMG they have them with motives?! O.O I need them...all!!

    https://victorinox.com/global/en/...

    I prefer the model with a saw (I think it's huntsman?!), have the matte red & transparent one at home.. ♥️♥️♥️
  • 1
    I have one leatherman, too

    I can recommend opinels for camping - I have 2.

    One for cooking, one for everything else.

    Razor blade fun... A friend of mine sharpens them by hand.
  • 0
    @IntrusionCM Oh yeah I have an Opinel in the kitchen, too - a carbon steel one, i.e. not stainless. It's so much easier to sharpen AND holds the sharpness a lot better compared to stainless steel.

    Treated with citric acid, the blade is blackened and somewhat hardened against rusting.
  • 3
    @Fast-Nop yeah.

    In non camping kitchen at home I have an professional knife set from WMF. Was pretty expensive, but damn.

    Cutting is not only fun, but you'll become very careful.

    I remember the terrified eyes of my ex boyfriend as I made an duck for christmas.

    Bone cutting - no problem, just slice and dice. XD

    My cutting skills are not good - but it makes so much more fun xD
  • 0
  • 0
    @IntrusionCM
    My bone/cleaving knife is a thing of beauty.
  • 0
    @SortOfTested owo what’s this
  • 0
    @uyouthe
    CCK big rhino cleaver. There's a little rhino as well, but it came out after I bought this monstrosity.
  • 1
    @SortOfTested the shape is obviously impressive but I don’t like how the blade connects to the handle

    In Russia we have быстрорез steel available for cheap, that’s some kind of steel used to cut other steels. So my grandpa made a kitchen knife out of it and it rips through everything :) I don’t know about other parameters like how it holds sharpness, how easy it is to sharpen it and I’m not saying it’s the best steel possible. Afaik he sharpens it everyday because he likes to cook
  • 1
    @uyouthe
    It's an Asian tang knife, not really an issue. Full tang doesn't provide many advantages for most knives, makes them hard rehandle, so I prefer the Asian style most of the time.

    This particular knife is carbon steel, 58-60 rockwell hardness.

    What matters in a cleaver is less the metal used than the hardness of the metal and the angle. Cleavers tend to be anywhere between 15 and 30 degree sharpening angle, and anything over 22 is unlikely to lose its edge even under heavy use. They're more about weight and splitting than finesse. I've never sharpened this particular knife and have broken down whole deer and pigs.
  • 0
    I have a chinese ripoff swiss army knife, but it's got all I need and is perfectly functional even after 20 years. Except for the scissors. But I highly doubt Victorinox can do it better, given how a tiny axle with flat ends has to withstand a lot of torque.
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