Person: So what do you do for a living..
Me: (here we go)... I am an information security analyst working in an incident response team for x company. I do log collection and manage a large scale correlation engine.
Person: Oh, so are you super smart or something? (Blinks her eyes and continues with blank stare)
Me: Uh... Smart enough I guess.
Person: Can you hack things like a hacker.
Me: That really isn't my job...
Person: What's your job again?
Me: Computer guy
(She lights up)
Person: Why didn't you just say that? I can understand that.

Yeah... I seem to have painful conversations like this often.

  • 9
    Girl: "What did you study in college?"

    Me: "Computer Science"

    Girl: "Ohhh, that's" <short awkward silence, followed by an insincere> "nice"

    Every damn time :-/
  • 0
    I am loving sumologic btw.
  • 2
    Try telling them you work in encryption. Conversation won't even last that long.
  • 13
    I just say:

    "I'm a mad scientist who can do lots of things drunk that most people couldn't do sober."

    "Ok... What does that entail?"

    "I'm not allowed to talk about it... Not since the... Incident..."

    Just kinda trail off and fake a cold shiver.

    "... Those poor, poor penguins..."
  • 2
    @smaisidoro Murphys law >.<
  • 2
    person: what do you do for a living?
    me: I develop Web applications
    person: so you studied computer science, design?
    me: no I am a theoretical chemist
  • 0
    Yeah I have whittled it down a little more every year. Down to, 'I keep the business going and people in their jobs in the face of any crisis...'
  • 0
    I've whittled it down to: I'll be ruling the world with robots one day
  • 0
    We need a word for non-devs

    Something like muggles...

    I/o novs


    Fofs (404s)
  • 0
    @zombie01 the technically impaired?
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