Who invented the open space office layout? If you're as unlucky as me, you end up sitting next to the protein junkie who pops open a tin of tuna mixed with some other shit that's there just because it smells horrible almost hourly, or you end up next to the PM whose desk is gossip central and by the end of the day you know "Sheila" is sleeping with her brother in law, and "Steve" has a tiny weiner.

Does anyone else work with that one guy who doesn't know anything and always asking others to do his work, butt in the scrum meeting his daily updates would make management think he was Bjarne Stroustrup reincarnated?

I have two laptop bags, one for my laptop, and one for my pillow. I pull the pillow out to scream in it, when I realise there are devs that get to work at devRant, and I have to work with fking bankers

When the pen testers find a "vulnerability" and say it would be very difficult for someone to exploit it. Yeah, in that case they might as well say if you solve p vs np you can break it but it would be very difficult.

Great feeling when the pen testers couldn't find the "unfixable" vulnerability your new feature created, and you go on holiday soon.

Dev: When will you finish testing it?
Offshore test lead: after some time
WTF is some time?

Is there anyone else who works at a company that takes longer to plan sprints than the actual sprints?

Bang on?

"Oh, the next button is 2 pixels to the left, let's open a separate defect for each page that has the next button"