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Every meeting that contains one or more of the following points:

- "I don't think it belongs in the meeting, but"
- "Didn't get the meeting notes"
- "When's the food coming?"
- "I know we've said no technical discussion, but..."
- "Why is he so strict, this is no fun meeting at all :("
- "I think it's unfair to include risk assessment, you blame US before XY is finished"
- "The admins / the Team XY / ZX didn't talk with us, so we don't talk with him / her / them..."
- "Why are we here?"
- "Why is it so bad when production is down?"
- "I didn't know we do security / audit checks... Why hasn't anyone told us?"
- "Not happening. I'm against it"
- "I don't want to work with XY - he doesn't do it like I want it"

...

I could add thousand more things here.

I had countless meetings where I really thought that I was an alien who got broadcasted in a comedy reality TV soap...

Comments
  • 1
    Honestly the only one I usually get in the rare meetings I host/attend are the "I know we've said no technical discussion" ones...and I guess the "why are we here" bc if I was invited to a meeting me and 1-2 others are ALWAYS on before the host lmao
  • 8
    Get your shit together you unprofessional cunts! Why the fuck you working here again? Eh? *hic* Who the hell hired you, anyway? And have they been fired for it yet? Y’all should get canned. “I don’t wanna work with billy because he’s mean!” Well fuck you and billy both! Take your squabbles back to the playground where you belong. *hic* Yeah that’s right I’m drunk. It’s from having to deal with all of you like I’m some kinda kindergarten teacher or something. Ha, you should see HR’s stash. It’s bigger than mine, and it gets smaller every time they gotta call you in over some squabble. Kinda like mine does every time I have to help you with googling the basics. Or redo whatever crap you dumped in my inbox. Yeah, you heard me. *hic* Your code is uglier than you are, and you both belong in the crapper!
  • 2
    @Root it's terrific how good you are at imitating me.

    When did we ever work together Oo
  • 2
    @IntrusionCM
    That’s amazing 😂
  • 3
    "Why is it so bad when production is down?"

    I mean, really???
  • 1
    @sudo-compile Yup
  • 1
  • 2
    @Root @sudo-compile

    German is hard to translate sometimes...

    Wer hat dir denn ins Gehirn geschissen?

    sounds way better than...

    Who shat in your brain?

    But all in all. I had really weird meetings. Doing management since 10 years plus.

    There are really days where you think someone put roofies in your coffee because suddenly the most sane persons went nuts... And you ask yourself: How long was I out .... What the hell has happened?

    Management is essentially one thing: getting used to that everythings crazy. And no, there's neither a minimum nor a maximum.

    And meetings is for crazyness the open fire for a moth: veeeerrrry attractive. And deadly. But crispy!
  • 0
    "No meeting agenda or clear organisation! Well I guess this meeting does not concern me."

    Things I wished I said more often.
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