I'd say;
Python is Slitherin,
PHP is Hufflepuff
C++ is Griffindor
><> is Ravenclaw

Yay or nay?

Nah.

Python is ><>,
PHP is C++
C++ is Python
><> is C++.

js is Voldemort

I would actually argue that MatLab is a better fit for Ravenclaw as the ravenclaws tend to be very academic. That or possibly Fortran.

What the hell is ><>

If it's a whatevs comparison, then yeah I guess Python is Sithering because snakes.
However, I'd like to take a PERSONALITIES approach:
(I don't remember what book this was on, please correct me. It's NOT book 1 I think book 5)
- Hogwarts: good of heart
- Ravenclaw: good of mind
- Slitherin: good of blood
- Hufflepuff: everyone who wants

Slitherin would be Java because it only accepts the elite: strictly typed, hard to learn, for bankers. The documentation is horrible, forcing you to pay for better tutorials.

Ravenclaw might be R or Matlab because math, but they're not for general purpose, so maybe Lisp because it's used in math and AI. If we measure by difficulty, then Fortran.

Hufflepuff could be JavaScript because it's available in all browsers, the language of the web accepted by all.

Griffindor can be Python (many will disagree) because of the Zen of Python clearly distinguishes bad from good code. Tho Python's easiness is Hufflepuff-ish

Brainfuck is the Dementors.