I think YouTube gave up on trying to send me ads.

I have an adblocker in my desktop but not on my phone. In all of my years using YouTube, I've only ever clicked on an add twice on purpose, and maybe a couple of times by accident. By now, even when I'm not using an adblocker, YouTube still doesn't send me ads! And for some reason it's lately been sending me ads of YouTube itself. It's a very annoying 5-second video with just the logo of YouTube. They're really just telling me "I don't have anything to promote to you, so I'll just make you waste 5 secs just cause."

However, every single time I get on incognito, I get one ad or maybe two per video. wtf

How many bugfix branches do you have at a given time?

I'll point names today

Boss: Quick! The Xero integration is not working anymore!
Xero Documentation: place your client secret in the HEADERS
Me: * places client secret in headers *
Xero API: Bad Request!
Me:
*re-reads documentation*
*creates new client secret*
*1 hour of trying*
Hmmmm
* places client secret in request body, not in headers *
Xero API: Ok!

UPDATE YOUR DOCUMENTATION
TELL US ABOUT IT IN THE CHANGELOGS

I sincerely cannot live through another daylight saving time change. I cannot. Please, oh politicans, have mercy upon me. My work deals with 5 different time zones. PLEASE

Customer: You say you connect to XYZ service, but my data is not getting synced!

*checks their account*
Me: I see you have not integrated your two accounts. Go to Settings > Integrations > Connect to XYZ.

C: Why? But you already connect XYZ! You should already know all of my data!

Website: "Here is your PDF! You can download 1 more PDF today. Get unlimited downloads with a PRO account!"

Oh do I?

*deletes cookies and local storage*

*downloads another one*

Website: "Here is your PDF! You can download 1 more PDF today"

Trying to code while being blown is the best sensation in the world 😎

Interviewing candidates for a middle/senior dev position:

Me: Imagine you have this button, but whatever it's doing when you click it, it's taking too long to load. How would you improve the speed performance?

Candidate: Redis!

Me: Okay... but how would you find where the bottleneck is?

C: Redis!

Me: How abo-

C: REDIS!

kinda NSFW

When's the last time you've had to write raw SQL? Can you consider yourselves SQL experts even though you only use it through ORM's?

Why does Window's Taskbar have so many bugs?

!rant

I've been having this idea for a programmer's horror movie. The main villain is this dev (or maybe PM?) whose first program was "Goodbye World" instead of "Hello World", thus cursing all of his code from that moment on.

They write an artificial intelligence library but they don't document it properly so the user ends up creating an evil AI that threatens to destroy the internet.

Any ideas?

From the guy that practices bash in the production server, here's the same guy who also practices SQL queries in the production's PostgreSQL!

I swear these happen by accident. I'm having to do some data corruption control by some bug, but I forget to close the panel when I'm finished. Then I go on with my tasks and I think it's my own computer I'm writing these commands to.

A coworker asked me for help so they could finish their task on time. That meant that I had to be a bit late for one of mine. They blamed me for delaying the whole team because I didn't finish mine on time. 😕

Using the production server as my personal bash sandbox!

I wanted to suggest a functionality (keyboard shortcut) to a website. I see that their feedback button was pretty visible, which is weird because most websites I've visited first take you through 3 layers of "have you googled your question first?" before they let you send a question or feedback. Alas, I fell into the trap. First they asked me for the typical intrusive demographic info, and then they asked me marketing questions, and then... that's it. They didn't let me submit any feedback. They just took my info and left. great

How long do your tests take to run?

* online meeting *

Why are ya'll muted? We can't have a conversation if you're all muted. Just unmute yourselves.

* someone had a lot of background noise *

Huh? What's happening? What's that noise? I think someone is in a very noisy place. You know what? Just mute yourselves until you want to talk.

THATS WHAT WE WERE DOING YOU PRICK

To call it bugfix,
or to call it hotfix,
that is the question.

On my free time I was looking for software where I could visualize the shape of the git graph to sort of reflect Git Flow. What I found was a bunch of git GUI's that list features that normal git already has:
- "undo local changes!"
- "squash commits!"
- "undo branch deletions!"
Da heck people actually pay for this?

Meeting at 9:45

I arrive at 9:44

"You're late"

* talking with coworker about how to use a certain library *

* other coworker comes in *
"Oh I have experience in that library. Perhaps I could help"

* we explain our problem *
"Hmmm yeah, you should probably refer to the docs."

Helpful 1000!

Should we get rid of the name JAVAscript and start calling it EcmaScript or smth to avoid confusing recruiters with Java?

(How far) Do you see a future where one of Linux's distros gets a good enough user experience that average people start using it?

My partner has been using Ubuntu in one of her side-computers and they haven't complained. That said, my partner is pretty technologically literate, although they don't code professionally.

Has this ever happened to you?

You open up your text editor and start typing commands. But it tries to turn on your virtual environment or run a script:

& "c:///project/folder/..."

But since you're in the middle of typing your commands, it get's meddled in between and it fails to run the script, so you gotta do it by hand.

git fet & "c:///project/folder/..."

Unrecognized command "get"

Well at least my DB has primary keys and indexes!

Devs: Feature A is done! Faster than planned even.

Manager: Hmm... what about feature A+B?

Devs: That requires feature B, and you said that feature B was not as important as feature A during our last meeting, remember? So we planned to do A, B, and then A+B. It's there in the meeting minutes.

Manager: But feature A does not make sense without feature A+B. Let's not release feature A just yet until we have feature A+B.

Then why didn't you say so during our last meeting?!

I just used `git add --patch` for the first time and I feel like a git god!

(No, my text editor was not giving me enough control over the hunks.)

There's been a fad in the company where the managers ask for the opinions of other departments to "get different perspectives".

On one hand, we get feedback by non-experts, which is obviously bad because they're not in their field. "Feature X is kinda complicated. We could simplify it by doing A." and the manager goes "that's a brilliant idea! Let's do that!" and the devs go "we did consider that, but it has drawback N. And perhaps you wanna do B, but that has drawback M..."

And then they were asking for us programmers for inputs on their designs for logos, etc. Naturally, as programmers, we wanted quick access to many functionalities. But marketing wants a simpler and more intuitive design, even if it involves more clicks. This wasn't in my job description! I just wanna code! Thinking is your job!

Task: allow the user to sort the rows on a table.

Catch: we already had that feature, and our boss has half a brain.

And the dates were displaying in the right order.