Straight to the point.

McDonald's starts it's arrays at zero.

Actual patch notes from one of my companies repos.

Just got this gem from Facebook.

Shameless memery.

Sick of my colleagues letting the door slam right behind my head when they leave.

Apparently the fire hose in our building wasn't connected to the water main, because the legislation stated the building owner had to install a fire hose, not connect a fire hose to the water main.

Thar feeling when you have more LinkedIn connections than Facebook friends.

Updated my Azure aide project to ASP .NET Core 2.0.
Works perfectly in develop in Debug and Release.
Deploy to Azure.
502.5
No error logs, no feedback, no explanation.

K den.

Thursday lunch time.
Seems like a good time to update to Windows 10 1803.

Started off with a prototype with about 20 backend data points per hour and 10 concurrent front-end users. Total dataset in the 10,000s.

Now about 5 backend data points per second and 500 concurrent front-end users. Total dataset in excess of 20,000,000.

Brace yourselves, the GDPR pop ups are coming.

Found a dumb mistake I made in a query in my project.
Reduced page load from 10 sec to < 1 sec with an hour's restructuring.
Had just assumed it was slow because of my super cheap Azure DB subscription... 🙄

Tried to factory reset my laptop.

Ran Windows Update on shutdown anyway.

My suggested company outing to the local video game museum is being sponsored by the bosses.

Client: "We want you to build us a quick prototype / proof of concept. Don't make it too neat, we'll rebuild it before we go live."
Also client: "We already have a working version, why would we rebuild it?"

Office internet has been slow as shit the last few days because at least three employees are all individually streaming the Olympics to their machines... and one overlayed on top of the server status monitor.

Wrote a 217 line script to import/export email templates.

Slightly less painful than hand crafting the 37,000 line SQL query.

The green text BBC Micros at my first school, circa 1992.

I was pretty good at Snake.

Crafting HTML email templates makes me want to commit genocide.

I lost a few friends.

Not taking university seriously.
Cost me a lot of lost wage power even if the degree taught me very little new.

Finally got 5 ++s!

Been stretched between two projects for three weeks and now one is behind (due to too much pressure from the other).
I have to work tonight and Saturday to catch up or my vacation next week is cancelled.
The vacation i requested because I'm so overworked the last few weeks.

"Code reviews don't really offer any benefit to the business."

Spent 7 straight hours today crafting the most complex table valued function (including 6 nested scalar value functions as helpers) I've ever attempted, about 3 hours to go tomorrow.

My eyes and brain hurt.

Go home SQL server, you're drunk.

Irony...

Sat on the street in the rain doing server maintenance over VPN, using WiFi leeched from the Albert Heijn (supermarket).

When my very angry boss assaulted a colleage with a plate. We both quit practically on the spot.
He only had two full time employees.