In
https://devrant.com/rants/4221216/...

Hes discussing confidence and I wanted to talk about that for a moment, from a guy who struggled with it a lot growing up.

Half of confidence is headfaking yourself into distracting the lizard brain portion that didn't evolve for the last ten thousand years of rabid human social change and thus detects a bunch of social interactions as varying forms of threats.

Same way NLP works, or stupid shit like seduction, or sales techniques.

It's all about slowing down and distracting yourself with the process.

People that do all this dont realize the trick is you're thinking less because you've slowed down and this comes off as confidence.

Think about it. What do nervous people do? Either talk way less, and/or when they *do*, talk fast and lack certainty. What does confidence techniques and all that shit do? Causes you to slow down, follow process which makes answers clearer usually, and causes you to speak more freely (even if its more structured).

Thats the entire game.

Give yourself time to think and room to answer, to think of a question and formulate a response. Assume nothing while you do so.

One trick I use that boils *all* the other processes down is this: Anything you go to say, pause, look the person in the eye, and wait 1-2 seconds to respond. Remember to blink, and remember to gesture as you normally would.

Treat every conversation as a casual dialogue over coffee with a friend discussing colors of paint for a kitchen. Its a slow process isn't it?

Same thing with any other conversation. People will find you a lot more deliberate, confident, warm and unassuming.