Fuck uninspired jr devs that are simply collecting a pay check.

I have been handed a project that a jr dev was allowed to wallow on for over two fucking years. This lazy mother fucker managed to create 5 functions, a whole fucking mess of bullshit that I now have to straighten out on top of the 8 other things that I have to deliver on in the next month.

They never followed requirements. Not-a-one. The API is fully broken. The DB schema is BEYOND fucked. There's ZERO validation/sanitation on I/O. The deployments only work half the fucking time. Their code is so spaghetti I'm getting triggered from when I worked at Olive Garden with Eminem. But hey, at least they were able to demo it to the client to say "it works".

I don't condone violence, but every time I find malformed if statements, linter exceptions, broken deploy configurations in this project -- I just want to kick them in their stupid fucking face.

Wherever you ended up you piece of shit, I hope your dreams of becoming a rich asshole only bring you unending despair. I believe you can make it though, because you're already halfway there.

  • 8
    In fairness, I blame the manger more. The whole point of a junior dev is to mentor and coach them, not let them loose on a client project with no guidance. They've got little to no experience, of course it's likely to go horrendously wrong and they'll just have to muddle through.
  • 2
    @AlmondSauce useless management, useless Dev leadership not keeping an eye on what's going on, useless junior - 2 years of experience.
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    @craig939393 Sure, the junior ain't faultless either. But if he's just got 2 years experience with no coaching or guidance, it's hardly unexpected that his code is complete crap.
  • 4
    Are you me?

    I inherited an entire ecosystem that the previous architects were flying by the seat of their fresh out of school pants. It's been tempting to take a metal bat to some of these systems, as it would produce better results.

    Data integrity is non-existent, the API is a byzantine work of delicate glass that shatters from the slightest modification, the internal business logic is neatly snuggled between lines of code that appear to do nothing at all except invoke elder gods, and to top it off, it contains absolutely zero logging or methods to debug.
  • 1
    @user00015 that last bit... So much pain.

    And I feel you on it.

    I tell all my new devs that logging is more important than comments. Don't log everything, but only what's important when it's important.

    You can read code, but you can't debug a silent system.
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