I'm the biggest dumbass, the laziest procrastinator I know of..

Joined devRant in June 2017, got eligible for the stickers in a week's time, sent a mail requesting them, but never received it. Given the size of our community, I thought I'm way behind in the list and probably receive them in few months. After a year, I totally forgot about it.

But, the colossal stupid that I am, had also lost the key to my mailbox (the physical one). I never cared about the lost key, because who sends post these days !!!

When I finally got a duplicate key for my mailbox after 2 years, guess what I found.. a first class international mail from devRant which arrived on July 2017 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️, couple of weeks after I originally requested

But, yay... I finally got them..

I had to install a program whose setup file size was 3GB and I already had that setup in my pendrive, but my pendrive was in the other room so instead of going there and bringing that pendrive, I re-downloaded the setup.

My other room is hardly 5m away

You know you're lazy af when you get the error "filename already exists" for "ghsgsgsggsjj.jpg"

Developers :
Work as efficient as possible!

Also developers :
Pressing the arrow up ⬆️ in the terminal 90 times to find a command that could have been manually typed out in 1 sec

Junior dev: asks me an easy question cuz he's too lazy to figure it out

Me: listening, thinking he's gonna waste my time again 😓

Senior dev: eavesdrops and helps him out

Me: saved me, woohoo 😎

*Few minutes later*

Senior dev: "by the time you finished asking this question, you could have compiled the code yourself to see what happens"

Me: 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😂😂😂

Stop bitching about having to write comments, they are important whether you like it or not. Trust me nobodys code is "that good" 😒

I used to work in a call center for a local hospital.

One night, all of our lines are swamped. Literally no time for a break between phone calls, +15 minute wait times. I answer the next call:

Me: "Its a marvelous Monday at AskIT, how may I help you?"

Doctor: "This is Dr. [Noone Care]. I need you to fix my password now."

Me: "Absolutely! You should be able to enter a new password now."

Doctor: "MY HANDS ARE NOT FOR PASSWORDS, MY HANDS ARE FOR SURGERY!"

😩 So glad I don't work for doctors anymore. Oh and the best part is, he had selected the general phone queue, rather than the doctor queue (~3 minute wait time instead).

Laziest thing!!!??? You better ask me when I was not lazy. Framework here framework there, library here library there.

npm install 29282818 packages

Bye

I’m the embodiment of lazy...

I had turned on the TV in the living room earlier and put on sesame st. for my daughter to watch.

Some time passes, I’m trying to work in the back bedroom, have daughter in my arms and she’s falling asleep. I forgot to turn off the TV in the front room.

Didn’t want to get up from my desk so I just wrote up a powershell script to connect to the computer plugged into the TV and kill chrome. (The Computer sleeps after 10 minutes, and the TV shuts off after 10 more minutes of no display signal).

Script was successful as I heard Elmo laughing, then suddenly all was quiet 🤫

programmed a three page website at 2 am in my room, on my phone, because i was too lazy to walk to the next room and get my laptop

I am lazy..

Today, I reached a new level of laziness.

I lied down to watch a movie and I was too lazy to copy the movie from my external hard drive which was in the other side of the bed.

What did I do? I've downloaded the movie once again and watched.

Am I really unlucky, or are juniors these days all lazy af and such pampered babies that need hand holding all the time?
So back when I was a junior, when I wanted to learn something new, I would ask for some pointers from my seniors, could be an article, a video or even a book. From there I would look up further knowledge, play with the idea in my machine. If I couldn't understand something, or if I needed a better explanation of something, I would go back to my senior, but it was really rare.
Then comes this modern day, I'm the senior now and I'm in charge of mentoring a bunch of kids, who would treat me like their personal chatgpt. "Hey Junior #0, this is something you may want to read to help your next ticket, let me know if you have difficulty". Next day junior #0 would come back and say "I don't understand, the article mentioned X but I don't know how to do X. Can you show me how to do X?". Bro, no one knows how to do X after being born, just google "how to do X" and it gives you the fucking answer. Why the fuck do you have to circle back to me because of this. Junior #1 would refuse to read any articles longer than 250 words, and require constant 1-1 meetings to give him personal lectures. Dude this is not a class room, grow the fuck up! Junior #3 would write the messiest code possible despite my efforts to introduce tons of resources, then complain "why I'm still junior, how do I grow". Bro maybe if you learned half of what I sent you, you would have gotten promote by now. Fucking lazy kids these days!
Oh I can't fire these juniors. Top management was very clear that "we don't have budget to hire other devs for you, it's your responsibility to train them better".

Folks...

I think I need to get away from web development...

Honestly, no grudge held against web/mobile development itsef... But the projects, the teams, the workflows... It's always shitty af.

I'm fed up with the bad architecture, poor management decisions, unmaintained legacy code, broken windows, arrogant juniors, arrogant seniors, code smells left to rot, the freaking red door... Hell! The fucking "we don't have time for that" answer to testing... Damn!

Been there done that.

Feels like it's always the same crap and unfortunately, it's rare to start a professional project from scratch.

Fucking angular, broken piece of shit.
Fucking react (& RN) community modules, broken pieces of shit.
Fucking lazy-ass node developers.
Fucking ES and fucking garbage proposals submitted to the TC39.

I wish I could do Haskell / Rust / Clojure professionally... I could even enjoy Go with a good team... Anything but that huge pile of dogshit JS and its community of brainfucked so-called developers.

Fuck uninspired jr devs that are simply collecting a pay check.

I have been handed a project that a jr dev was allowed to wallow on for over two fucking years. This lazy mother fucker managed to create 5 functions, a whole fucking mess of bullshit that I now have to straighten out on top of the 8 other things that I have to deliver on in the next month.

They never followed requirements. Not-a-one. The API is fully broken. The DB schema is BEYOND fucked. There's ZERO validation/sanitation on I/O. The deployments only work half the fucking time. Their code is so spaghetti I'm getting triggered from when I worked at Olive Garden with Eminem. But hey, at least they were able to demo it to the client to say "it works".

I don't condone violence, but every time I find malformed if statements, linter exceptions, broken deploy configurations in this project -- I just want to kick them in their stupid fucking face.

Wherever you ended up you piece of shit, I hope your dreams of becoming a rich asshole only bring you unending despair. I believe you can make it though, because you're already halfway there.

How to force your self to write unit tests for your personal projects:
1. Go to a public place
2. Forget to bring your phone cable & never install a simulator because you are lazy af
3. Profit!

Guy I work with messaging me: Hey could you check my SQL syntax to get the date part for the month and year.

Me thinking: Ughhh this is going to be something stupid I know it. Why doesn't he just check it himself?

I check it... 2 queries that are very, very, very... simple... and similar except one returns last year (2017) and the other returns the current year (2018)

Me: Not sure what your issue is... I'm not getting any syntax errors. They are executing

Him: Well it shouldn't show 2017, it should show 2018

Me thinking: learn to debug you lazy fuck

Me: Well you're adding a -1 to your year...(Not sure why your even adding to it if your just getting the current month and year)

Him: Oh you're correct! That makes sense

Waste of my time

Honestly, mentoring is in my opinion the best part of the job. My firts mentee was a student in my last job, smart af but lazy and unable to trust in herself. I wasn't really too sure in myself at the time either but since I had to teach hery craft there was no place for me to doubt myself.

So I taught her everything I knew and in turn I learned to trust myself and once I had mastered the art of self confidence I could make her believe in herself. Since then I trained five more test automation engineers, some of them might be close to surpassing their 'master' (though won't make it easy for them 😏) and with every Single one I've developed a deeper understanding of my craft by explaining. I needed to research stuff I never questioned to answer their questions and therefor became better at what I do.

Three weeks ago I got an email from the girl I first mentored, she's in another company now and she thanked me for what I taught her. In my opinion I did a rwally Bad job at it (it was my first time teaching) but reading someone actually believing that one made an impact in their life is something special.

I always loved talking about my craft and I love sharing the knowledge I aquired. Test automation is not a thankfull craft but I'm always happy whenever I can interest someone in it and I fully enjoy seeing them grow and improve into fully fledged TAEs.

Boss wanted me to make changes in company's website which was based on wordpres s.

I knew it could be done by tweaking some JS code, but I have very less experience with wordpress

But wordpress is easy man(Internet told me).

Give me 5 minutes, you will see the changes in production.
Being lazy af I directly logged in to ftp, checked out some files, updated some code, I was good to go.

Before pushing it, I opened the website and it was GONE ٩(๑´0`๑)۶

Now there was no public_html in the root.
I was fucked. I have accidentally deleted the website that had no backup.

And the best part I was on leave from
next day.

I was looking everywhere for backups, looked into google cache to get the contents. I have to recreate the complete site now.

Just when I was asking questions on choice of my profession and simultaneously looking here and there in FTP for backups,
I found the jewel "public_html".

It happens out that I have accidentally moved the folder to some other directory.

Phewww.

Moved it back to root. Site was up and running.

Reassured myself that I deserve to be a dev.

Backed up complete site, made the changes.

Uploaded it.

And the best part, amount of wordpress I learned in those three hours was way more than I could have learnt in many weeks.

Lessons Learnt :

A) ALWAYS keep backups.
B) You SHOULD NOT make changes on prod directly
C) You become superhuman when your brain know you are going to be fucked 😂

An example of today's generation:
My little cousin 22 years old wants to get into BI Dev. I tell him to read a certain book. The book has practice examples and various things that are hands on.

What does he do?
He READS the book and is like, "ask me any question and I know the answer". So I'm like, "fine, what's the structure of a basic SQL statement?", after some hard thought he's like, "SELECT * FROM?" I'm like, "ok.....how would you filter that?" and he's like, "you got me man........no clue".

What didn't he do?
Practice.

I mean.........come on.

How do you reply to multiple people in a rant without having to mention their names explicitly?

Click reply on the first person, go back, click reply on the next person, go back and so on!

This is definitely a total first world problem but I am so frustrated.

I am stuck in a team that embodies the Japanese proverb "The nail that sticks out gets hammered down".

The management are there because it is convenient and flexible and have no interest in managing or keeping up with tech.
The lead developers are extremely anti-social and are not approachable and the this stems down to the devs (not all but really most) - all there just to do the bare minimum and spend most of their energies in trying to avoid work or having learn something.

Unfortunately I am passionate about what I do and want to build high-quality products and this has put me at odds with the way things work.

I could fill up alot of time talking about how I was ordered to "cut" images/icons out of PDFs rather just getting them from the branding team, or how I was scolded for having set up logging, detected a problem caused by another developer and fixed it before it cost a big client a massive amount of money... But really the point is that I have never worked somewhere with such an awful attitude to enthusiasm and quite frankly it boggles my mind trying to understand how they rationalise these things but the answer is always laziness.

Obviously there are worse problems in the world than working in a job where you are encouraged to do nothing... But it actually really depresses me and causes anxiety that I am working with people who don't care about testing or monitoring or learning new things or even collaboration.

...sigh...

Hopefully the job market will start opening again soon

The power to actually code instead of being lazy

Currently procrastinating working on side projects.

Am I the only one who is just to lazy to order devrant stickers even if my posts have enough upvotes? :D
Don't get me wrong i love stickers!

I think I need some "programming detox", a couple weeks away from any kind of software development. It's just not fun anymore, I have lost my drive, I'm lazy to learn new stuff, I never finish my projects, I don't even know if I enjoy web development anymore.

Actually, I'm kind of lost on what to do with my life.

I don't want to become a full time web developer because it's boring, it's always the same shit: write frontend with some sort of framework, design database, write backend, rinse and repeat. There's nothing new, all projects seem to have the same requirements.

I don't want to get into machine learning and whatnot because it's a lot of math and theory, I like math but idk if I would like doing that all day. Same goes for basically anything related to research.

Low level stuff: on paper I like it, it's interesting, but I'm too lazy to learn and whenever I come up with a robotics project I end up making a shopping list and forgetting about it because either 1) stuff is too expensive or 2) I can't make the parts I want without spending a lot of money on tools. Also from what I can see in school, VHDL is boring af.

I just don't know what I like anymore, nothing gets me excited, not even video games. I used to like csgo but I just suck at it and I only play it because there's nothing else to play and deep down I still have a little bit of hope of becoming a decent player, even though I know I never will.

I just don't know what I want out of life. Sometimes I just like having tons of school assignments (especially calculus ones) just to keep me busy.

To lazy to search for a new custom rom...

Gotta live with my laggy phone (Note 3)

!Rant #lazy
I setup my local server so I can test my apps and to mount my partitions on my www folder in a folder named "mnt" with numbered folders for each mounted partition
So I can access and download my files to phone and other devices from all over the network :)
And even watch movies that are in my computer on my phone or tv
And when I want to sleep I usually watch a movie or one episode of series which is stored in my pc ,on my phone by this method in my bed 😅
So the thing is I'm too lazy to get out of bed and shut down the server and pc
So I setup this file so I can run commands on my PC from my phone 😅😂😂😂
192.168.1.110/server.php?cmd=shutdown now&psw=mypassword

Lesson learned: Always use node LTS in production, library maintainers are lazy af.

When a job portal of a company wants your current and permanent address (I still don't know why) and EXPLICITLY wants you to type your address all over again, coz they are the SAME DAMN THING, makes me wonder if I should apply to the company at all.

I've been BSing my skillset for so long to myself, it's a veritable toolbox of mixed knowledge but no complete sets...

I wonder if it's too late for me to catch up or if I will ever actually complete any learning...

I am yet to finish learning

Html
CSS
PHP
Ruby
C#
ASM I can do i386 but not x86
VB
Pascal if you can believe
C
C++
Java
JS
Python
Powershell
Bash

My main skill is basically just remembering anything I do, including code syntax and example code fragments well enough to quote at people which makes me a lazy learner.

How can I contribute on github, I always say that I will yet I never do?Any tips?

Just another lazy, less energetic Monday! :-/
Does everyone feel this way or is it just me?

Final update!

It is now 7:50 PM and I'm finally done. I did procrastinate a bunch throughout the day but it worked out in the end!

But seriously, I should stop being this lazy...

If you Netflix and chill and auto-send me an "any update?" message once a week, rest assured your software won't be developed.

Refactor?
Is it another word for procrastination?

Me vs. Code Moocher:

CM: Hey, did you do the Chapter 6 homework?

Me: Did You...?

CM: Yes... (with confidence but an odd pause) But it doesn't work.

Me: Sorry I'm not done with it either I can help you.

I hate people like this. He could've asked me for my help or waited to ask the Prof.

But he outright asked for my work. It wouldn't be the first time.

FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Me: I would love to hear your thoughts on how I might improve in that area for next time?

Team Lead: Actually, I don't give the improvement points to the intermediate developers, because they already know which are the areas they need to improve.

When you push an entire project as a single commit...

I’m just lazy af, so I spend hours to let something else do the actual work.
That’s why grandpa created farming devices, that’s why I use software to my life easier.

It worked once, I liked it, I continued.

Working at a startup with a small (~4-6) person engineering team usually means those few people are the most in tune with the software. This then usually leads to an onslaught of people who should know better asking devs stupid questions about the software or relying on the devs to do their jobs for them.

Have you encountered these types of situations before? How were they resolved?

Anyone else ever not feel like explaining something technical to someone in a different non-technical department or position, so you use a lot of techy terms and make it sound really confusing so you can move on with your life?

days ago i used to be very lazy about writing tests.. after forcing me doing it, I ended up being addicted to high line coverage... kind of satisfiying AF

I'm just too fucking lazy.

Having only 1 colleague who can approve them and they are a lazy ass, always taking 2 days for revievs as hard as… removing an empty line and fixing a typo.

How tf did they give this person a degree.

Colleague from a remote office emails me to ask what version of some tooling is installed on a build machine. Generally I wouldn't mind, but for the fact they're literally sat next to said build machine in the remote office. I mean... why get up and look yourself, when you can just IM somebody to look for you... right?

Am I the only one always comming up with solutions for problems not programmed yet, being curious whether it works but being too lazy to actually implement and test it?

I was looking for a RRule Generator Component in ReactJS because I (a back-end dev) am lazy af to build front-end component. It drains my energy and I stumbled upon "react-rrule-generator". And holy moly. It is no longer maintained, but it has a very beautiful code. Then I thought, I should search more open source projects where code is clean so I can learn more.

So, do any of you know any open source project, library code or whatever that you think has a very clean code?

So today I wanted to keep going in my project, did nothing in the morning had to do market and came back tired (didn't sleep enought last night) so tried to rest (couldn't because had to help in the kitchen with the lunch), had lunch then take a nap, nap evolved to a nice sleep, woke up @1600, got out to deliver a ddr3, came back @1700, wife asked to get burguers for dinner... went to buy dinner, watched a movie (gold) has sex... and now I'm writing this rant'... so coded nothing... now I'm playing bf4 just because fuck it I'm not sitting in my desktop now....

So have you ever wanted to do something in your project and couldn't because external reasons didn't allow you?

Many decades ago, people thought about future by writing stories and making movies with flying cars and made up technology beyond belief but what we got today are food ordering apps and dating apps.

Well, its good those cars never came out, because I would rather order food at home and watch Netflix than fly around.