Running an Alpaca farm in rural Finland, next to some mountain creek with an oldschool water mill so I can grind flour and coffee beans.

I hated people so I tried to find solace as a nerd in technology, but tech is also fucking awful so I feel like retiring in a tranquil forest with some equally grumpy wooly animals.

If I get eaten by a bear because I'm a skimpy city boy that's OK, more epic than being found decomposing slumped over on a keyboard in the boring grey suburbs.

All of this is probably pandemic-me talking though. So sick of this concrete city with the farting cars and fat obnoxious shoppers.

I need some trees around me, and some mammals with a higher IQ than my current neighbors.

  • 2
    You are not alone, having these dreams, my friend!
  • 3
    Isn't Finland a bit too cold?
  • 10
    @iiii I personally dislike all temperatures above 21c. Snow & frost doesn't bother me, sweaters & coats exist.

    Heat though... You can't get nakeder than naked, and cooling down in a hot climate requires more advanced, fragile technology (AC + electricity) than staying warm in cold weather.

    Also, alpacas can handle cold pretty well, and in the winter I can wear the alpaca.
  • 4
    @bittersweet we don’t have mountains, but if you’re ok with a regular forest and an old mill therein, I can name a few dozen good spots for your dream. Can get the alpacas, too.
  • 3
    This sounds like a great dream.
  • 1
    Wooly animals are truly god tier, especially if they can also provide you milk like angora goats, so you can make scarfs and some cheese. This way you can take care of them and not suffer from feeling attachment, because you won't have to slaughter them for their meat
  • 3
    @Marethyun You can drink the alpaca boobfluid but they're difficult to milk because they have tiny tits. Still... I like a challenge.
  • 2
    Picture or it didn't happen!
  • 0
    @KalmyK Well, the problem is, it didn't happen (yet). This rant was the answer to the weekly question about your ideal job.

    So far it's limited to looking at Scandinavian real estate websites while drunk.

    But it's kind of my retirement escape plan: Buy few hectares of property in Canada or a Scandinavian country with a small house in a forested area, get a few animals, chop some wood, get old drinking cognac a bit too often, use my mediocre carpentry skills to build mediocre furniture.
  • 1
    @bittersweet holyhell my man, your exact reasoning about weather is what I've explained to people countless times!
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