Fuck you icecast!!! You p.o.s. sofware.

Is your brain single threaded?

Skynet: Hello world. You are mine now.

Do you know CSS?

2012 me: yes

A is for Assembly, a wizard's spell

B is for Bootstrap, so bland and the same. And also for Brainf*ck, will blow you away

C is for COBOL, your grandad knows that

D is for daemon, your server knows what

E is for Express.js, you node what is coming

F is for FORTRAN, which is perferct for sciencing

G is for GNU which is GNU not UNIX

H is for Haskell using functional units

I is for Intance, An action of Object

J is for Java plays with them Always

K is for Kotlin, Android's new toy

L is for Lisp, scheming a ploy

M is for Matlab, who knows how it works

N is for Node a bloatware of code

O is for Objective Pascal, you did not expect that

P is for programming, we all love to do that

Q is for Queries, A database is made

R is for R, statistics are great

S is for Selenium, you have to test that

S is for Smalltalk, let's make it all brief

T is for Turing Test, how human is this?

U is for Unix, build with all talents

V is for Visual Studio, built with all laments

W is for Web, lets build something cool

X is for XHTML, remember all that?

Y is for Y2K, I'm tired as f*ck

Z is for Zip, let's zip is all now.

Get yourself coffee and back to the grind.

Apparently after 14 hours of coding, my sleepy version is happy with

!>= instead of <=

Why marvel is not making a movie about Jon Skeet?

Friend(non dev): Hey. Do you know how much it costs to maintain an app?

Me : Well that depends. What are you planning to do?

Friend: Something like Trivago. But small.

Me: That still doesn't tell me anything

Friend: Come on. Just give a number. How hard can it be?

Me: 42. *facepalm*

Friend: See wasn't that hard. Was it?

Me: *thinking* Don't correct him. Just let him be.

Is Dr Seuss naming classes in Hacker News?

I F*cking hate recruiters that send emails like this.

This is why I love Reddit!

Whenever I do coding interviews.

*brain shut down

WTF. Facebook now has ads on their videos.

Hi. I'm Renato and I'm addicted to programmer's high.

It's 10% f*cks
20% will
15% concentrated power of beer
5% pleasure
And 50% pain
And 100% reason to remember be sane

All my coding interviews where embarrassing moments..

The part when I ask for too little to do too much.

Is there an API that measures the performance of the players in the world cup?

I just realized i haven't left my home in 4 days.

If i die, please commit my code before calling an ambulance.

I may have lost Github to Microsoft. But I still have you Devrant. I still have you.

When i tell my family I work the server Daemons.

This is how they see me.

Jurassic Park was based on a cheapass client who didn't want to pay the right amount to the. Developer who single handedly protected everyone in the park.

If Gordon Ramsay made code reviews, I would watch that show. Especially the insults he would use for handling clients.

"This code has so much spaghetti, it decided to open it's own restaurant"

Why is requestanimationframe so hard on canvas in Angular 5?

I mena dafuq!

What would be the infinity stones equilvalent if Thanos was a Developer?

Finishing installing npm packages

Why the f*ck is it so hard to setup an online live radio on NodeJS but making a freaking Google hangouts clone is not.

Just realized this Movie is based on a programmer's joke

on the first day of christmas my PM send to me

There's a bug in your B-tree

on the second day of christmas my PM send to me

two threads deadlocked
and a bug in your B-tree

On the third day of christmas my PM send to me

Three servers crashing
two threads deadlockd
and a bug in my B-Tree

on the Fourth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Fith day of Christmas my PM send to me

Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

On the sixth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Seventh day of Christmas my PM send to me

Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Eighth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Ninth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Tenth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Ten Features requested
Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Eleventh day of Christmas my PM send to me

Eleven products deploying
Ten Features requested
Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Twelve day of Christmas my PM send to me

Twelve DBs updating
Eleven products deploying
Ten Features requested
Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

Today i realized that i can convert MB and GB to the top of my head and generate a very good estimate.

Cant say that same when converting miligrams to grams.