Why the fuck do managers think beacuse a component has been build by another developer a shit ton of time ago, we can still reuse that fucking code.

For fucks sake, I had to rebuild a whole fucking map component that needed contextual filter and the fuckers just add extra functionality without consulting me. And gave me a tight schedule bc the customer, who btw disappeared for 6 months, will be mad for wasting his precious fucking time.

Fuck these clients.

Don't you love when the designer can do their pretty shit without consulting you and then the client ask you why the shit the designer made looks so different.

We are going to use MERN stack for this. Do you feel comfortable with that?

Me: yup

Finds code in Koa. *sigh* Guess I'll have to learn Koa now.

Best lazy as possible.

If I'm so fucking vital to the meeting then why the fuck did you made the meeting so fucking inconveniently early for me so you can put your new fucking designers in the fucking call.

Don't you love when clients who don't know shit about your system tell you that they have you a solution to your bug.

Offering pizza to go to the office. Like we are fucking children

Gym, good coffee, good food and a walk

When I tuned angry birds with spotify and made the speed the beat of the song.

App didn't work out but who cares. Had so much f*cking fun building it.

Told my client last october that I would not be doing a migration.

Two weeks ago they wanted me to do the migration and I told them I will do my best to create estimates but that it was the first time.

Gave them a resonable estimate to migrate the content.

And last meeting they cut the time by 70% to meet the budget.

Fuck the budget, can't pay then you don't get the shiny new toy.

I'm a contractor, not a fucking employee. So all the extra hours are on me.

Going to give them a piece of my mind today.

If I lose this client, i don't give a fuck.

Why the fuck do I have to train ppl on a CRM platform when they have multiple tutorials and I am a backend dev.

Not a fucking CRM dev.

I dont give a shit how the client wants to do business. I just build their tools.

A legacy custom made WordPress Theme.

Old developer made main styling sheet with 8000+ lines of code with no component separation.

You want me to build a whole fucking site with a new theme on December with no mockups and all build with a custom design after you left me all fucking September and october without fucking work?.

No. Fucking. Way.

Cooking.

Made me better at explaining processes, multithreading and writing clear recipes.

This made me chuckle

Mom and dad never really cared me being a developer claiming they did not understand what I do and used to talk down on me becoming a loser for spending too much time making video games when I was a kid.

Got depressed for a long time and stopped making games.

Brother comes drunk at 15 years old, got yelled but bc he was out partying and socializing he never got called a loser by them. Now they laugh at that experience.

But never apologized until I got a breakdown. Fb becomes big and now they want me to invent the next Facebook and telling me to be happy.

Focus on C++ coding with DS and Algorithms.

Piece of shit theme sells posts grid without pagination?

Wtf!

Got recruited by LinkedIn. Just a simple DM and and got an interview with an agency.

Fuck You Moneris. You piece of Sh*t payment gateway

Mixing PHP and HTML code with a bunch of if-elses, creating a docker-compose script thats uses the remote database password (and its committed) and set API calls to IP fucking addresses with no explanation. Just make POST requests to undocumented APIs.

How the fuck are these people allowed to code?????

5000 scss file with the name global.scss styling.

How fucking dumb can you be to fucking mess up a clean component based architecture like Foundation or Bootstrap and fill it with shit in a single file.

No wonder WP gets shit. The legacy code is usually shit.

And to put the shit cherry on top. This motherfucker had a settings.scss file with all general components and he never used it.

Fucker put different font size in px everywhere! Fucking asshole!!!

Everytime I finish a module or app I thought I never would be able to make.

He is a programmer and just realized his Artificial Intelligence has become autonomous

and a terrorist.

Liam Neeson stars in the Killing Process.

Why do people refuse to use cli tools development enviroments?

I'm wasting my time cleaning a drupal codebase bc the previous dev committed the modules instead of using composer....

Training in NodeJS for 3 years so my first contracts ask me to do Reactjs, fire me and then got hired only return to WordPress and Drupal which I havent touched since 2016.

Guess I'm back at PHP and working crazy hours fixing legacy code.

This time I think I'll master it because I lost my job last year, got sick, move back with my parents and have bills to pay.

I'm still sick but I'll keep pushing...

Why team leads assume that because the designer took 10 minutes to adjust a form, it means it will take me also 10 minutes to adjust the code?

Especially if I just strated working with the theme. And I told them I'm a backend developer who did little work with theming....

What kind of a fucking idiot mixed two templates into one shortcode and added a bunch of if's to print the logic?

Ffs WordPress.

If someone uses !important in the top css file with body, you have the right to falcon punch them in their f*cking face.

They made me pretend to be an expert on an enterprise-level job with only a few days of study. It was for a role not even related to what I do....