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We have no more time for all this Agile stuff!

Half of our developers might have been injured when we built the Great Wall of China, but no worries, we've listened to your complaints about feeling overworked!

You can take 3 extra days off this year. Meanwhile, we're starting the next project.

We're building some pyramids.

What? You want Scrum and sprints? Sure, do sprints, whatever helps us build those pyramids!

Requirements? Refinements? What requirements are there to refine?

We require a giant pyramid.

For v1, you can build the foundation out of wet mud. It must be 500 meters. Wide, or high, we're not sure yet, we'll get back to you on that. It must have less than 4 sides, but certainly more than 3.

The Frontend team has already built a part of the entrance using 60 semi trucks filled with papier-mâché, pipe cleaners and glitter.

Now go build already!

Comments
  • 15
    Glitter doors!!
  • 9
    Damn, this is too close to home right now. Well besides the pyramid, I want to build a pyramid!!
  • 8
    @C0D4 I wouldn't mind building a pyramid if we had material, cranes, safety gear and some blueprints.

    At the moment it's just "go build pls".
  • 17
    Better a pyramid than a dynamic and customizable multifunctional cross-platform translatable optimized smart screwdriver with push notifications.
  • 8
    @bittersweet meanwhile here...

    Team mate: Are u alive?

    Me: Yeah... Doing documentation...

    Team mate: Yeah... I'm sorting out hardware...

    Me: we're still fucked, aren't we?

    Team mate: I swear to god, the word migration is giving me PTSD.

    Me: Ay yup.
    --

    We're all currently happy that last migrations / restructuring worked out, but brain dead since 2-3 weeks doing happily shitty mundane work. XD

    It's getting better, but I really don't want to do anything that requires a higher brain activity. XD
  • 3
    @Root Is this the same screwdriver you've been complaining about since last October?
  • 4
    @lbfalvy The very same!
  • 4
    @Root My condolences.
  • 5
    @lbfalvy Thanks …
    I doubt it will ever go away. At least until I tell them to screw off! 😁
  • 4
    Want to know now or later that the pyramids at Giza have 8 visible sides?
  • 4
    @Root seems like dr who already has that patent
  • 4
    @Demolishun damn!! Just googled and it sure as hell has eight sides!!

    For all non believers: https://ladbible.com/more/...
  • 6
    Eh, the pyramids aren't a great achievement, they were built by people with diminishing goals... the original plans were for a big, square building.
  • 7
    @TeachMeCode Also the ratios used to position and construct the great pyramid match that of the ratios of the earth. I cannot remember how the math works, but it shows that they knew about the dimensions of the entire planet. Its placement is not by accident. Its all planned with math.
  • 5
    @Demolishun damn....pretty sick for what they had. Same goes for Stonehenge, or Easter island statues.
  • 6
    "It must have less than 4 sides, but certainly more than 3."

    😂😂😂 I'm dying from laughter. 🤣
  • 2
    This is a piece of art :D
  • 2
    @Root That physically hurt to read.
  • 2
    @hashedram Success! 😂
  • 2
    I swear, some managers think you can just throw an abitrary amount of randomly skilled devs at a project and expect it to be finished in proportionally less time...
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