I am looking for a better job, to do that I expand my knowledge by learning new stuff after work. I do this to have a better live, but my relatives pulling me down...
My wife complains that I am always at work, even if I tell her I do programming as a hobby and I learn new stuff to get a better paying job.
In contrary my parents always say that I am lazy bum, because If man doesn't work with his muscles, they don't consider this as a real job.

First, listen to your wife. She's telling you something important. She misses you and wants to see you more often.

It's never easy to balance this life with those we love.

Any time my spouse complained, it wasn't that they wanted to see more of me every day, they wanted to see me make an effort to see them more often. Make a bi-monthly date night, take them out to eat, watch a movie. Whatever you do, just make sure you're dedicated to them in that time. That means, no phone, no emails, no talking about work.

If your employer can't understand that, find a different job and let them know that's why you left.

Second, ignore those around you who want to discourage you from succeeding at a better life. They will not and cannot understand your needs better than you. Focus on making a better life for yourself, your wife (, and maybe your kids).

Last, listen to yourself. I mean REALLY listen. Ask yourself at the end of the week, "what have I personally accomplished this week?"

Good luck!

Quoted from Jonathan Blow: you can spent your time sitting on a chair and learn a tone of stuff and getting better, or spent your time to see your friends and having good time and that's ok, but don't expect do be the best at programming.

A long time ago, I told my wife that my brain need to code stuff to be happy and when my work at the office is not enough, I need to work on personal project to fill my brain. We found a balance that satisfy us by mixing my personal need and hers and that ok. I'm not the best and I don't have a tone of moneys.

😗