Demo

Backend Team : No one want to listen to technical details. A short 2 min demo what we have done.
Shareholders : Have you done anything?

Frontend Team : half an hour demo of validators and fields that sum values from other fields
Shareholders: Wow that is awesome, great job, nice to see, great value, lot of progress.

After reading some rants abut stupid project managers I remembered this situation that happened to me a decade ago.
One of the tasks was to move some html component to different place on the page. The whole page was a mix trs and tds and to achieve that I had to rewrite the whole page structure. I estimated around half a day to complete that task. It was my first job and I was not great back then, but still it was reasonable amount for this task.

Now lets introduce my PM : the guy was a complete tool. He was a former hardware store manager ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and had no idea what we were doing.
He started ranting how on earth such simple task can takes so much time. I started explaining myself, but he wasn't listening. Instead he started sharing his screen, he made a screenshot of the page, pasted it to the ms paint, cut the component, and moved it to desired place. Then he said : It took me like 10 sec to complete the task and I have no experience, maybe I will replace you?
I was speechless. I had no words and I just kept silence.
Then he said he would reassign this task to X, because he is competent.
X spend more then 4 hours and I heard no apologies.

Management : We need to deliver this by September!!!

Meanwhile every dev took 2-3 weeks of vacation in August.

Tldr : In my country, there is always a middleman .It is so rare to work for end client directly and it is very common to be fuck over by them, because they want milk you out as much as possible

Job description : Salary range from X to Y

Me : I expect 90% of Y $
HR : if you pass technical examination we can agree on this amount.

*Technical interview*
All correct answers, perfect match with stack etc.

HR calling next day:
HR: Great job on interview, but you need to lower your financial expectation to X (around 50% of Y)
Me: Why? We have spoken the other day and you said there would be no problem with the money. I nailed the interview, I don't understand why I should agree to lower wage.
HR: I know I know, but right now we cannot give more. Maybe later
Me: I am sorry, but I feel kinda cheated. For me this is red flag since I don't know what I can expect later if you are not sincere from the beginning. I won't take your offer, goodbye.

My friend lost his job. Company closed brach he worked for. He was very depressed because it took him 2 days to find another job in different company while all his collogues had job offers the same day they find out about branch being closed.

I used to work in project tailored for specific companies used by at most 100 daily users.
Right now I work in a project with 1mln unique daily users. I am on a call where it was decided to scrap one feature because it generates "only" 20k monthly usages. This is more traffic generated then all my provides projects combined :D

Jira is powerful tool, especially when we combine it with Bitbucket. But, have you ever worked in a company where for example creating feature branch or merging PR changed jira ticket status? Personally I have never seen such automation, even if all clients I have worked for always complained about dev not changing statuses in jira.

Usually when you ask "I have a problem with service X, who wrote it?".
The answer is "Y wrote it but he left the company XYZ years ago".
In company I currently work the the answer is "Oh yes X wrote it 20 years ago, go ask him"

We have a new manager who wrote in his bio that he is into astrology.

At least we will no longer have to answer to "How long will it take?", because it is written in the stars XD

Devs : Lets pick library X, it is well know piece of open source technology, actively maintained by community for over 10 years.
Architect : NAH, it is an overkill to use it in our project , lets build our own solution.
*2 Months later*
The code base is hundreds of thousands lines of code, we basically started to look at library X on GitHub to copy features or get inspiration from that code. In that time we delivered 0 business value, it is horrible to use it and we constantly adding something or bugfixing because no one thought about something in first place.

Right to repair by Corsair
My mouse has double click glitch...
To disassemble the mouse, first skates need to be peeled off and destroyed in order to get to mounting screws...
I was unable to find those skates online, so I reached directly the Corsair to check if they sold them. Of course they don't sell them...
Next I tried to find professional shop. I found one willing to replace switch for 50$ while brand new mouse costs 60$.
FUCK YOU CORSAIR

Probably everyone at least once had situation when they receive a meaningless screenshot with 500 page, a message "Application doesn't work fix it" and 0 info whatsoever.
Here is my tip that saved me a lot of trouble.
I display error id in the center of the screen, large enough so no matter how small and blurry the image is (yes users, send us photos of theirs displays) , It is always easy to ready it so we can start investigation without talking to those monkeys.

I am starting new iteration of microservice X.
The new repository is named: new-new-new-X
And as you suspect, previous iterations are named:
new-new-X
new-X
and X
:D

I have started reading The Phoenix Project and I suspect that story is based on current situation in company I work for ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Action takes place during demo to the stakeholders.
Manager : During the demo we will show a working prototype of new functionality. In this sprint we focused on that feature not on UX. Please do not pay attention to UI and focus on business values
*Dev starts sharing screen*
*1 sec after*
Executive : This is unacceptable. It looks gross, why you don't use default controls.
Manager : We did, this is how they look like, but please do not pay attention to UI, it is not finished
*Dev continue presenting*
*1 sec after*
Executive : I see missing comma in that sentence. It is unacceptable to show features in that state, lets move on to another team.

It was really large feature working as a charm, but they focused entirely on unpolished UI :/

Many people were hired to work on new product, but no one have told them that for one or two quarters they will have to maintain 20 years old project. I was ranting about this, but in the end accepted my fate, wiped tears with money and moved on. However one of devs took another path. When he was asked to work with .aspx and jquery 1.X instead of react, he just said : "Not going to happen" and left the building.

asp webforms is like communism. It solves problems created by it.

When I asked why you don't use nosql

During job interview
Me : Am I going to maintain old solution?
Interviewer : Of course not.

2nd day
PM : Please fetch project X from SVN

New job. Almost all sites are blocked due to "security"... even spotify. I can' listen to the music. Fortunately i have access to dev rant xd

Friend : I will do this when I get back from work.
Me : But you are working from home, aren't you?
Friend : Yes, but I am at work, right now.
Me: And how does your route back home look like?
Friend : I switch input source from my work's laptop to gaming rig.

I am looking for a better job, to do that I expand my knowledge by learning new stuff after work. I do this to have a better live, but my relatives pulling me down...
My wife complains that I am always at work, even if I tell her I do programming as a hobby and I learn new stuff to get a better paying job.
In contrary my parents always say that I am lazy bum, because If man doesn't work with his muscles, they don't consider this as a real job.

I have unspent credits in Azure that waste each month. To not waste them I spun up a VM to run cookie clicker on it.

There was a task to upgrade, refactor and rewrite azure functions project. It was assigned to guy who was about to leave the company. After 2 weeks at his last day at 16:50 he committed the changes. He literally copy pasted the old project into new file structure and left the building. FUCKING ASSHOLE.

The graphic cards supply is completely madness. Even after the crypto crash it is not possible to buy RTX cards at price any close to MSRP.
But today my jaw drop when I saw auction on popular online portal where some guy was selling a place in a queue in another store. The title was "Rights to buy RTX 3080" and for 400$ you could potentially buy a GPU for the price close to MSRP. I think this was too much and after a few hour the advert was took down.

I was watching some learning materials from Microsoft the other day and during the course the lecturer said :
"Let me quickly Bing it". At first I was WAT? what the heck is bing, but then he opened the IE and searched for something in Microsoft Bing.

Fuck, I am really exhausted.
I am really burnt-out, I can't do this shit anymore.
Fuck this shit, here is my letter of resignation.
It is already signed, I won't do this shit anymore.
I will be jobless, but fuck this, I won't spend any more minute here.
*drop microphone*
The party is over.

My friend who works in marketing told me the other day that he would like enter IT world to earn more. I have told him that company had opened position for junior SEO/SEM which in theory is very close to what he is doing right now. His base salary would double and there are bonuses and commissions. I have told him that I could get him that job, but what I heard back? "Nah I don't to want to do that" and started whining again about his salary...

During interview :
We are going build the next big thing. We are going to use the latest and greatest, now tell me what WCF and SOAP are.

all companies want hire you asap and all those companies also wants you to sign a contract with at least one month notice leave