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Damn, sorry to hear that :-( It's a right AH move to promise a letter and then fail to deliver it, especially without providing any reason. If you can't write a sensible recommendation letter in good faith then just damn well say no.
Think you did well to turn down that job offer though from what you've said there. Doesn't sound like that'd be a particularly happy place to work. -
@TeachMeCode I assume they're very busy, but still, not fair.
*pouts* -
@AleCx04
Or maybe they got stuck writing the letter cuz I have no qualities. 😬
Give me like 3 months to actually become a barista and then can just say I've always been one. Nobody wants a failed scientist for a wife. 😛 -
@ars1 suck dick, believe in higher intelligence and authority of your man, suck dick, look pretty and presentable, and don't stress out your man. It's not just a submissive housewife, rather a mix of therapist, masseuse, mother, and sidekick to a guy.
Like I'm not even putting them down. Legit they're a requirement for the modern stressful world. You just pay them to stay quiet, look pretty, have sex with you, and don't do crazy shit behind your back.
Biggest difference with housewives is that they don't do housekeeping. Too busy working on looking pretty and work on their nerves to be relaxing and tolerant.
And that's just my opinion. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -
@NoMad we're all developers here, so no chance of any of us being suitable for a wannabe trophy wife.
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@nibor didn't ask you to be one, asked you to find me one 😛
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@vane internet says webpage not available 😛
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@NoMad so there is a niche that needs to be filled 🤣
Start something and execute it to finish, bring it to public instead of running around and finding problems that don’t exist. Opportunities are laying around but you seem to wait for things to knock to your door and ask for you instead of go and take them by force. 🧙♂️ -
@aicha the wait is driving me mad. The inactivity and not having a supervisor to bounce off ideas from, or a robotic arm to test stuff with, those are driving me insane. I've spent days in the labs before. Hell, I did my master thesis through the pandemic. There was no "fun" or "going out to blow off steam". I'm about as prepared to start working on my next little study as one can be. The idleness tho... 🤯
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@vane not interested. But if you have a ten figure humanoid lying around, I'll take it.
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@ZioCain not that big of an exhibitionist, unfortunately.
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@NoMad I was born poor so I’m surrounded by people like me. Sorry 😢
Get a job as a nanny or in billionaire kids kindergarten. -
@Fast-Nop or hire as a nanny, raise and seduce your husband 😅
go where rich people go and harass them -
@fruitfcker oh, I totally want a prenup. Him agreeing to support me before the marriage is better than him bringing lawyers to leave me broke after the marriage is over. Mutual respect is a good enough foundation for a marriage.
Also I'd look the part if he pays for it. Meaning gym, spa, clothing, etc expenses are all on him. Again, the deal is "marriage" not "prostitution" and not "entertainment". He provides finances and I provide a pleasant environment for him in exchange, and take care of our children, if we end up having any.
On a separate note, on a developer's salary there's no chance you're a multimillionaire in euros. 😛 as well, you're verging on being condescending, and an abusive husband is a complete no-no. But do introduce me if you've got a friend or boss meeting this criteria. -
@RexGalilae lmfao.
I'm finding this situation very depressing. 😉🔫 -
@NoMad Fuck, that's such bullshit. Do you know anyone at uni (preferably phd/other professor) who can go nag the professor(s) in person? It's a last ditch method but you have nothing to lose at this point.
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@RememberMe I do have my dignity to lose. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It's really a conundrum. I'm not a pushy person. First cuz of anxiety and second because I have the physical indications of a bossy bitch, so I've been overcompensating for it my entire life, and I won't just change in one day. I can't bring myself to write the fourth email or just ask someone else to ask them about it. At some point, I may write a polite email and thank them for the letdown. 😛
I can't even apply for other unis given this situation. (was actually looking up McGill uni today) -
@NoMad I see. I can understand the feeling (one of my recommenders ghosted me too), and this is your choice, but I'd just like to question if that's the right approach for something as important as your PhD. At least here asking someone to talk to a prof directly doesn't feel like that much of a dick move, especially if that someone is one of their PhD students, but maybe it's a culture difference thing?
I've talked to my advisor on behalf of a bunch of undergrad students already because it was faster to do so than an email chain that he may/may not see. It seems to be acceptable to have PhDs act as proxies for the prof, because said prof is usually swamped in emails. Or maybe that depends on the prof's personality? I'm not quite sure.
Definitely a bit shady, yes, but it's kinda the prof's job to do this for their students, especially if they've already agreed to do so. Why should you have to suffer because of their neglect?
You could ask said someone to bring it up indirectly maybe, not straight up be like "yo dum dum you forgot this". Just remind them that you exist maybe.
Still a last resort though, yeah. -
@RememberMe you're right. I shall try to work on myself for that.
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@NoMad Yeah profs tend to forget emails you send them. It obviously depends on the prof and how they handle emails, but I was explicitly told by a prof to remind him or send him an email again in case he forgot.
You might wanna try calling or talking to them directly. This almost always works out better than an email because they have to react. -
@TheSilent problem is, I've already made it halfway across the planet. It's rather hard to go back now, particularly since my visa has already expired.
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@NoMad That certainly is unfortunate. Calling them should still be an option though right or is it too expensive?
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@TheSilent too expensive. Yours truly is broke af at the moment.
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There was a comic, I think it was from xkcd, that said something along the lines of:
If you want an engineer to write documentation, don't ask for it, instead, write it yourself and ask them to correct it. They're going to be so triggered for all the things you got wrong that they will actually write it the right way.
Just saying. -
> Like, literally don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore.
Could be worse. Could have spent seven years in a funk, and decided two days ago, finally, that you're not gonna kill yourself.
Only to realize theres still no future for any of us.
Just do what you really want to do, because careers are pipedreams and illusions, and corporations have absolutely zero loyalty and no long term plans or visions for their workforces.
America, and the west are completely spent of vision, and no ones driving the bus as the bus goes over the cliff.
So enjoy it and do what you want to do.
You owe no one your passion. Hell, even when compensated, you *barely* owe them your labor.
Lol whats a social contract anyway?
Same as a broken window.
Not much.
You do you because no one gets a do over in life.
Why be happy when you can be content?
Fuck it. I'm tired. Anybody found me a rich husband? I'm ready to assume the role of a trophy wife.
1. Still no recommendation letter. My PhD application is hanging on a thread. If I were such an intolerable ass, someone could've at least told me. Or at least told me "no" when I asked them to write these damn letters.
2. I turned down a job offer, cuz a) offered salary was below market average for that role on that level, b) the guy who was supposed to be my senior and the only other person in the team gave the vibe that he disliked me, and c) asked the PM a simple question of what is his expectations of the product for the next three to six months and didn't get a solid answer. (Can't do magic tricks)
So I turned it down cuz I don't want to get stuck in another's swamp. (Been there, done that!)
3. I'm running out of ideas for the comic I was working on. As well, the backgrounds of drawings proved to be an absolute hassle. Gah.
4. So, the next switch is to the barista role. I have signed up for a lackey/intern/assistant role which starts in about two weeks. Wish me luck cuz if this doesn't work out I'm all out of ideas. Like, literally don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore. Which will make those who are jealous of me really happy, but I shouldn't make my life about what doesn't make enemies and frenemies happy, right?
rant
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