7
Floydimus
175d

Not imposter syndrome but definitely a moment of self doubt.

Am I good enough?

Been applying for jobs and couldn't get through.

Most of my applications are in neighbouring continent and visa is the primary filter to get rejected. Thanks to COVID-19, it is even more difficult than ever.

And for those applications where I land interviews, I am being ghosted in final rounds.

Quite strange that teams don't even care to reject anymore. Just leave me hanging to assume the worst, the truth, the reality which I don't want to face.

And self doubt creeps in where I see people with average/below average capabilities and skillset are able to find better jobs.

I am not comparing myself, undermining their struggles, or playing the blame game.

All I am saying that luck plays a huge role in how things work out.

You can still fail even after doing everything right. Or am I just dumb enough to not know where I am going wrong to improve?

At this point, if I reflect on past, seems like all the offers I have got in past were purely based on luck.

I am aware that this is temporary and things shall change for good but boy, this feeling sucks.

Comments
  • 4
    Pretty normally people who are interviewing feel this. It's just a lot of rejections happening with no real feedback that tells you what's been going wrong.
    If you feel this, I suggest ask for feedbacks after each round in any company, sometimes they deny and say it's not good to ask for feedbacks or HR will tell you. So, just start with that 'I know it's not seen ideal but do you have any informal feedback, it will help me a lot to improve'.

    Other thing is stop your negative self-talk I know you are good at it and just feeling down after hustling so much. But this is the beauty of self love that you need to keep it up everytime, each moment.

    People say that when you do simple things, you are happy, and only when you do something complex, out of your comfort zone, you fail. You might fail multiple times just to get that eureka moment finally. And you'll reach it, because the only thing that needs to reach there is to try and you are already doing that, I can say that from the tone.
  • 2
    If you want take some free time and only relax.

    You will do it, that's for sure :) Might take some time or no time who knows.
  • 2
    @true-dev001 those kind words really made me feel better. Thanks dude.

    Yes, I know that there is a better opportunity coming my way.

    Since it's a Thanksgiving week in the US, so an extended long holiday for me as most of my team would be away so I slack off for a bit and take a break because I have been working mentally a lot.

    Even if I am off from work, I am working on my financial planning, taxes, etc etc.

    I need to travel somewhere. My therapist said I am due for a break.
  • 2
    @Floydimus Go for it then, replenish yourself. You are doing great already!! :)
  • 0
    @true-dev001 kaha jau vo soch raha hu..
  • 3
    For whoever is interested in this,

    One of the German start-ups where I almost made it to final rounds ghosted.

    So I reached out to the product head. Really sweet woman, immediately responded.

    She said they had changed their domain and due to the glitch the rejection email did not get through.

    She offered a detailed feedback and is even ready to jump on a call to discuss it.

    Another reason why I love Germans so much. Truly disciplined and respectful people, who also own their mistakes.

    Even though I did not make it, I am glad I was able to connect to such amazing people.
  • 1
    @Floydimus Wow, this lady sounds great!!
  • 0
    @true-dev001 because she is :)
  • 1
    You got to just keep plugging away at the applications. It's incredibly difficult to get that move from India to Europe /UK, because the countries don't make it easy or cheap for companies to sponsor visas.

    The ghosting thing happens a lot too, I've had it so many times in the past when going through applications in the UK.

    There's no easy answer or shortcut, you just got to keep on trying until you get that break.
  • 2
    @Floydimus

    *Pinches your cheeks*

    Stop your doubts, not only do you harm yourself but it doesn't change a thing. All in all you just make it worse.

    I could give numerous examples, from Covid to current unclear state of several laws (testing / vaccination / ...) to political woozas (e.g. germany is currently looking at a very uncertain future regarding it's government and the 4th wave of Corona) to... Everything.

    It's easier to count the days where I don't have to listen to doubt, concerns regarding future, vague planning etc... I'd say 10 - 20 % max per month currently? Rapidly decreasing?

    But all in all, you have it already figured out. Which is probably why it hurts you so much - it is like it is, and temporary is such a vague thing at the moment that the word itself has become a hot iron sizzling your good emotions away. And why examples don't mean a thing...

    Can definitely feel ya. So instead of blabbering on, TLDR: I feel you. Definitely feel you - you're not alone.

    *Cheers mate*
  • 1
    Yep. It sucks all around.

    If its just luck based, then its "suck based".

    It means you're in "the suck."

    And what that boils down to is you're in hell. The shitty middling midpoint of some journey.

    And like going through hell, as going through anywhere, the key to solving it is to keep on doing the sucky part, which is continuing doing what doesn't appear to be working.

    Because thats what makes it suck.

    It doesn't seem to work, and you don't seem to get anywhere.

    Until one day...you do.

    And then you're like "well I got lucky."

    Yes, because that hows luck is created, by definition.

    The only questions you have to ask:

    1. do you have enough resources to continue on the current path?

    2. how long can you afford to keep on trying before going a different path?

    3. can you pursue something different, but similar enough that it doesn't feel like giving up?

    4. if not, are you willing to give other ideas a try until something good comes along?
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