So I met this person via a social platform.

They were absolutely silly and weren't able to hold a conversation. So I, like a normal person, just stopped trying to keep things alive.

Over the years, I have realised and learnt that if a person is interested in being friends, they'd put in efforts and I alone will not have to drag things on my shoulder.

I started cutting out people right, left, and center who I felt were taking advantage of me or using me in some way or another.

I ended up saving a lot of time and energy. I no longer feel drained or anxious about something not working out. Not dragging saved me from draining.

Anyway, they reach out to me again after few weeks and I was like let's give it a try to establish a friendship, because befriending people is my weak point.

The cycle repeats. At first I thought it must be because of the asynchronous nature of the platform so I drop my Telegram Id in case they preferred an IM approach.

I swear in the name of sweet lord, the retard does the same behaviour. So, I stopped communication.

And one fine day, the person tells me that they lack social skills and want to learn how to make friends and stuff.

Very fair point. So, me being me, gave them a few tips and critically pointed out their behaviour on how they reply with a one liner after every 2 or 3 business days.

Absolutely no change in their behaviour. They kept texting me the same.

At this point, I was like why am I doing it? I could find better people easily. Because for me, communication is everything. I cannot function without a good communication between two living beings.

So, I asked them why are they even trying to learn social skills when they barely implement it and don't want to change to which they reply saying that so they can use it to befriend people and network to getter better job opportunities.

I fuck them off.

And fuck such people who have intentions, are not clear enough about it, and play people for their own selfish gains.

And this where another learning I got from @scout is have boundaries.

Why do all good people in my life leave? Damn it! I need those good people back and be friends with them and not retards who cannot even communicate beyond one liner.

  • 5
    I'm seeing myself there.

    I have a simple philosophy: I hate small talk and unless a person contacts me I don't seek by myself contact.

    I guess I'm an broken introvert - I don't mind having people around, I even like it when I like the people - yet I don't actively try to contact them. Combined with my ultimative strength - clumsy amnesia - which let's me sometimes even forget to eat or to take a break, I can be an... infuriating pain in the arse (to quote a friend). Though most friends know that and thus seek contact by themselves.

    The favorite saying btw of my mother is: You haven't called. Again. Just wanted to know if you're still alive or we need to call the coroner?

    Might be one of the reasons I detest social media platforms... :)

    As such: Guilty as charged.
  • 0
    @IntrusionCM at least you don't take undue advantage of others in the name of 'learning social skills'

    And also, you can at least hold a conversation with deep meaningful/philosophi talks.

    The conversation with this person goes like:

    Them: Hello!
    Me: Hi! How have you been?
    *3 days later*
    Them: Good
    *Me leaving it on read because don't know what to respond to that*
    *Another 3 days later*
    Them: I am good. How are you?

    Now how on earth am I suppose to deal with that when they are clearly seeking attention to fulfill their internal voids?
  • 1
    I hate smalltalk too, I never use one syllable when none will do.

    This smalltalk was cool back in the day though
  • 0
    @nibor I never liked small talk but a few experiences, people made me like IAmVerySmart kind of guy and hence, I tackle a little small talk here and there before quickly switching gears to deeper conversatioms.

    If they don't resonate then no point putting in efforts. Better save time.
  • 3
    I lost one of my closest friends because they couldn't keep the conversation on chat. We were good face to face, he gave me all the attention and support.
    Then he moved countries, to talk to him I only had evening time due to timezone and then everything was on chat. Things were complicated between us so I never called but chat conversations were pissing me off. He only replied with smiley, only one. He replied with only a word. On the other hand I was excited and messaging paragraphs to them or the good things happening in my life, he didn't even try.

    I thought it's fine given that he's close but since I became little responsible towards my life I realised that yes he was close and his memories are precious for me but I cannot take this. Then I just stopped getting bothered by him and his one liners and moved on.

    I still like the guy but I cannot keep a friendship like this.
  • 4
    I have this tendency toward over sharing and connecting with people quickly if I’m not being distracted but then also finding it hard to remember to reach out to my people on the regular. When we do contact each other, it’s like picking up where we left off, joking and chatting about random things and sharing stories for hours, until it reaches a natural stop and then discontinues for another few days/weeks/months/years.

    Extrovert by nature, but had a childhood where I was conditioned to believe that I was a burden to other people, soooo I tend to not want to be a bother. 😅
  • 2
    @AmyShackles you are never a burden Amy and it's always super fun to converse with you :)

    When I started attending events, I realised that childhood conditioning was stupid and I just am ambivert leaning more towards extroversion.

    Me wanting my alone time was more about gathering my thoughts and not a sign of being introvert.

    I just never had right environment around myself.

    So yes, you are a star and a shinning one, remember that. Childhood is non-sense.
  • 3
    I am very grateful to my 3 chat friends that are just so good to share stuff with and get some natural reaction from. Every time we resonate, it feels like we are in the same room, ready to throw up a party, even if it's one time a month.

    We just happened to magnet to each other on random Ace Attorney fandom server, no idea how. But it's like heaven on Earth, when it's real, considering I'm too much into learning than practicing. I wish we could meet in person.

    And I wish you good contacts too, man.
  • 1
    @vintprox aww man that's so wholesome.

    We, absolutely will, meet in person someday very soon.

    Thanks man and I am glad I have you in my network :)
  • 1
    I learned my lessons a few years ago.
    I'm a loner, with some friends that I rarely see...
    Others is just people I know a colleges....
    For example, my best friend is a compulsive lier... But when I was in the shit he was there...
    One day, we were exploring a abandoned house with a group of friends... And we got trapped in the second floor.
    They all jumped trough a pipe and I froze in fear.
    Only said friend stayed, no matter what... Lukely it was some junkies goofing around.
    That's when I learned the difference of a friend to some jerk I spend time with :p
    Now, I don't consider anyone as a true friend until we went trough shit together.
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