5
Floydimus
154d

Hot take:

Want to bloat the shit out of your product and want to lose the core USP?

Want to stop solving the problem you set out to address?

HIRE A PRODUCT MANAGER.

PMs are expert at shit show. We fuck up everything.

God I hate my profession.

When I start my company, the mandatory rule for every PM will be that if you want to add or enhance a feature, they will have to remove a feature. Whoever fails to do so will be punished by having to clean up the code base and work in sales for a quarter.

Comments
  • 1
    Wait a second.
    *Gasps in realisation*
    You are project manager?
    *Prepares to run away in a fear*
  • 2
    @darkwind nope.

    1. I am a Product manager

    2. Project, Product, and Program Manager are three different roles.
  • 1
    @Floydimus Idea: function points budget.
    At the kickoff the product team brainstorms features and assigns each some function points. Then the product team chooses the must-have features in the project.
    You compute the total of function points in the chosen features and budgets for 2-10% more.
    Each feature the PM wants to add to the product later must have damn good arguments for why it "costs" the function points it does, and the PM better find some way to make it fit the budget.
    Including bribing programmers with bonuses in order to get more points in the budget. How USD$1000 per point sounds?

    I know it would never work because managers would just pull rank on us. But a man can dream.
  • 1
    I think what's missing in most project / product managements is an overview.

    I'm not talking bout tickets / tasks going on, that's fine grained.

    Broader picture.

    Most common mistake I see is a missing cool off time. Some managers love pouring features like forcefeeding a goose and then wonder why the goose is dead and tastes like shit.

    The love to detail is what most - including me - do wrong.

    Look at things from the broadest perspective then zoom in.

    As an fictional example for cool off criteria:
    - When were the last features added?
    - Overtime / morality check?
    - Feedback / Bug reports outstanding?

    For most trivia tasks (updating libraries, documenting stuff, low hanging fruits) cool off phase is the best time. Just wait till the feature has gotten some feedback and it was actually used before trying to hammer another one in.

    * feature in singular as there is usually a team behind one feature and many features get worked on in parallel
  • 1
    I recognised it was your rant
  • 0
    @electrineer I am the only PM here 🤷🏻‍♂️
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