The programmer and the interns part 2.

We will discuss numerous events that happened over the past week or so.

Case 0:
We had our weekly engineering meeting. The interns were invited as well.
We hold meetings in the generic, big, corporate meeting rooms with a huge table in the middle.
There were more than enough chairs for everyone yet the most motivated and awkward intern (let's call him Simon) chose to stand, cause "it's cool man, I always stand". At this point we all know that he probably read about Agile stand up meetings and is confusing it with this one. Otherwise he's simply trying to stand out from the rest. (See what I did there?)
Anyway the meeting has started way later than planned (what a surprise) and took much longer than Simon expected. Everybody is sitting and listening to the CTO while occasionally glancing at the weird looking intern standing awkwardly and refusing to sit because it would make his original intentions pointless. He even tried to nod whith a serious face and his hands crossed when the CTO said something and looked at his general direction. The meeting was about a hour and a half long but with the delay it was at least 2.5 hours.
At the end Simon was so exhausted that he fell asleep on the office puff, was forgotten and locked inside. 3 hours later when I was home I received a call from him with his sleepy-trying-to-sound-awake voice telling the news. Lucky there's a 24/7 Noc team that could rescue him.

Case 1:
An intern who was late on his Linux test connected to every test VM (should I remind you that each one has a personal VM but they share passwords for their roots?) and tried to reset it with "sleep 10s; shutdown -h now".
He took down all 13 of those so I had to turn them on and switch passwords again.

Case 2:
One of the interns didn't do any of his training chores. Apparently he forgot what he was told to use, ignored all online documentation and used Windows CMD with Linux commands for almost a week already.

Case 3:
Simon uses Vim to write all text possible. Even mails, he then selects all and copies into the mail body. He spent half a day on a homework task I gave them. He wrote everything inside one text file using Vim. When he was done he saved the file and quit the editor. He then said "Oh shit! I've forgot to sign my name!". I explicitly told him that theres absolutely no need for that because I see which mail the file was sent from. He said "I don't even need a program for that!" and gave a couple of strokes on the keyboard.
Later I received an email from him with a .txt attachment. When I opened it the only text that was inside was "by Simon ;)".
I logged to his machine and checked the last command ran on the file:
echo "by Simon ;)" > linuxtasks.txt

Case 4:
The girl here uses a MacBook. She keeps getting confused with the terminal windows and rebooting her own machine instead of the remote VM.

Case 5:
Haven't checked yet how this happened but one of the interns deleted the gui from his local Centos.

  • 73
    Plot twist: It's a Truman Show like situation and they test how much you can endure before you break and slap someone ;D
  • 21
    @dandel10n This idea hunts me since the childhood.
  • 32
    Wth, dude... How old are these people? 10? My cats are 11 and they make less of a mess on my computer by sleeping on the keyboard!
  • 46
    "By Simon;)"
  • 9
    *shivers in disbelief* how are you still managing?!?
  • 3
    @linuxxx I mean yeah I'm only 21 years old but damn, that's one hell of a level...
  • 24
    @linuxxx I go to a gym every day after the work and punch a bag as hard as I can.
    Also I don't care too much anymore. I just go with the flow.
  • 11
    This is a funny "noob" team :D
  • 8
    Wow, simon is genius!
  • 1
  • 5
    case 3 hurts.
    also, you got a compiler error in case 3 because "simon" was never declared before using in that scope.
  • 7
    @vanhoosr it's non-strict javascript ok?
  • 4
    When they start working the policy must be changed: backup everything with admin access permissions, fine for deleting others' work, trust no one.
  • 4
    We have a "backend-developer" just like that
  • 1
    How long would it take to Simon to figure out the story is about him? Poor guy. I hope he gets better.
  • 10
    You need to create a separate volume called the adventures of simon
  • 2
    Why did you call him Simon :(
  • 4
    @Noob I thoroughly enjoyed this read. Thanks for sharing. The standing story was classic and I especially liked the echo blowing away all his hard work. Live and learn.
  • 6
    I always wonder if people use the real name while pretending to change it (because nobody will know anyways) or if they use a fake name
  • 0
  • 2
    They must be testing you. This amount of stupidity is just unnatural!
  • 4
    Sometimes when I read about interns story, I just hope that my coworkers don't think of me as a douche or anything. I do ask a lot of questions before starting so that I am clear on what is needed and how it is to be implemented.
  • 2
    Went and read Part I. Looking forward to Part III. Co-workers are concerned about my snickering. This would make a good sit-com. Sorry you have to be "Mr. Kotter."
  • 1
    This is fucking hilarious! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    If I were in the situation, I don't know if I'll be mad or breaking into laughter often.
  • 1
    @rayanon You'd better not encourage these disturbed children by laughing
  • 2
    I'm surprised this Simon guys didn't type out his entire homework task right on the bash command line and send the output to the file.
    Echo (1000 words of text) > "some file.txt"
    "That'll do" he thought
  • 1
  • 1
    πŸ‘†πŸΌBeat that @Lisanna πŸ˜‰
  • 0
    @luigiAndMario stupidity is limitless
  • 0
    I would have lost my mind dealing with those cases.
  • 0
    Case 6:
    have lost faith in humanity.
    hanged myself, thanks Simon (and the rest)
  • 0
    @noob is there a part 3
  • 1
    @AngryDev Soon to be. Haven't had the energy to recall all the stupidity they did. I also refactor it, obviously they do much more.
  • 1
    What was your response to Simon's mailπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
  • 0
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