5
Meetife
167d

Finally, I finally got my dream job, but three weeks after starting, I will say I am going into depression.

First, I have to learn a new language (the lang is less than 7 years old) on the job. The language is so different from the paradigm I am used to-from OOP to functional programming, it has very little confusing documentation and a small but growing community.

Though I have been able to show some work, goddamit, it's taking me blood and sand to adjust and be productive.

My onboarding tasks are fixing bugs and implementing a feature, and it has been like walking in a dark tunnel.

I have to face my problem alone as all the devs in the team have swapped.

I rarely sleep, and I recently started to have an existential crisis!

Also, I work part-time on another project, and my output is so poor due to the fact that I am trying to adjust to the new job. Just this evening, I got a call from the manager who was passively aggressive, complaining and asking me to rethink (a passive way of saying "you are fired, if you do not...").

I am feeling anxious. It is taking so much time daily to adjust to the new job.

Will the depression pass?

Comments
  • 0
    Not without getting sleep more frequently than you currently have.
  • 4
    quit .. atleast if you have the option to find another job. If this job is destroying you, you must find a different one. And learning a new language by being forced is just wrong. Just be on the lookout for a new job
  • 0
    Don’t put yourself under too much pressure. Let them decide if your making enough progress, what you think isn’t up to your standard may be way beyond their expectations.

    Enjoy that someone is paying you to learn a new language + programming paradigm.
    Think how good that is, not many people know functional programming and you can be one of them.

    It’s early days yet, stick it out for a bit longer. See how you feel as you come to the end of the probation period (assuming you have one), that’s what they’re for.
  • 1
    This is not going to sound helpful. Try looking at it this way: what will they do if you quit? They'll hire somebody else. That's how much they care.
  • 0
    Thanks everyone, but quitting is not as easy as it seems. The job pays 10X my previous job, and yes, I am open to learning in the job. 

    I don't know if I am overreacting or but being perceived as incompetent is my worst fear.

    They understand I am learning, but there is a deadline, so I have to make an output.

    I just feel overwhelemed by the need to learn and build at a very fast pace.
  • 0
    @Meetife may I introduce you to the addiction of "stackoverflow first, test later"?
  • 1
    @melezorus34 The probelm is it's a new lang. very few stackoverflow questions.
  • 0
    @Meetife good point. Yikes.
  • 2
    @Meetife remember though that they would probably struggle to replace you. If this language is so new that there’s not many stack overflow questions then it’s also reasonable to assume there’s not many people that know it, which will make it hard to recruit someone who can hit the ground running.

    So you might think it’s a struggle but you’re probably still ahead of any potential replacement.

    If the deadline is tight and there’s struggling, maybe they should’ve used a different, more popular tech?

    Are you able to say what language it is?
  • 1
    Tell them that firing you won’t make them meet the deadline either.
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