So I've got a relationship related question (thought I'd ask it here since developers usually tend to earn more than country average salary).

My boyfriend feels bad that he must work more while earning less money. He gets to see my work every day (we have desks side by side) and watch me have this cool job with almost no pressure. He feels unjust and upset about it (which I totally understand). He also mentioned that he's not angry at me, but at the system xd

Any tips to how to comfort him? I know it might be the wrong app to ask this question, but I thought someone else might have a similar situation 🙂

Status seeking is a foreign concept to me. Sounds toxic.

Money is easier to deal with. Focus less on the comparison to your job, look at what they'd like to improve with their job, what they can do to get there. Grass is always greener. Also our jobs aren't always easy, mentally tiring more than physically demanding.

My wife and I actually went through this.

Her job was prestigious, but underpaid. The toll it was taking on her was not profitable enough for her to continue.

I noticed this first, and talked about it with her. I let her know that whatever her decision was that I would help support her in it, but I didn't think it was fair that she was giving $300 worth of daily efforts for $100 compensation. A few months later she agreed, and quit her job.

She went back to school, but that hasn't really played out since 2020.

I won't go into all the details, but we have made our situation work. She's now labeled as a sahm, but she's so much more and I don't know what we would do without her being in the role she's in.

My point is, talk with your partner. Communication is key on making plans and setting expectations. Don't want to financially burden yourself with supporting them? Make it clear that you can't do that.

Just talk openly and honestly with them, and support whatever choice is made.

Err... tell him that if he wants to change job/find a new job, he may go ahead and do it. You guys can still meet outside of workplace.

It's not like you become a dev over night... It's not like it falls into your lap