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If Programming Languages Were Girls:
Java: Your current girlfriend, you've been going steady for a while now. Things are okay.
Kotlin: The girl Java finds you cheating on, she's just amazing, and you wish you'd met her sooner.
Visual Basic: The girl you accidentally started a relationship with because you didn't know how to say no. But quickly realised your mistake and regretted it.
JavaScript: A childhood friend you occasionally hook up with. But you could never settle for a relationship with them.
Python: A bossy, manipulative girl who quickly turned things sour. But everyone else loves her because of her huge libraries.
-----------------------------------------------------
My and a co worker were joking the other day about what programming languages would be like if they were girls. This is what we came up with (Original inspiration: the Distracted Boyfriend meme (Feel free to add your own!)).49 -
Boys use the word FRIENDSHIP to strart the relationship...
Girl use the word FRIENDSHIP to end the relationship...
Real example of Polymorphism...😜😜😜2 -
I was showing my girlfriend how merge sort works... Halfway through my visual explanation, she took the pen from me and finished the algorithm.
I think I have chosen wisely :')9 -
Ladies and Gentlemen I've upgraded from being lonely to In a relationship
'Cause I finally found the girl of my dreams. 💑
HaHa April Fool's Day 😂😂
Ouch!6 -
✈️ to my girlfriend's place to meet her after years of long distance relationship.
Wish me luck guys31 -
Just broke up with my ex-girlfriend after 2 years of relationship. This might sound strange but scrolling after scrolling on dev rant is actually helping me getting through this situation!14
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Phone call...
Caller: we contact you to arrange an interview for Java developer position, what time is good with you?
Me: Sorry Sir, I am javascript developer not Java developer!
Caller: You mentioned in your CV that you are using Java and Ayax for building applications!
Me: Trust me Sir, I don't have any relationship with your Ayax...
Caller: No problem, we can discuss this small technical difference in the interview. When you are available for it?
Me: No Sir, I am not available.7 -
relationship with dev perks (just happened):
GF : *bad mood* i'm hungry
Me : Let's go get some food ! *trying to cheer her up*
GF : No.
Me : Ok, whatever you say.
GF : Do you really wa--
Me : Whaat? you said "No"?
GF : Don't you see abstraction in my face?
Me : so what ? you want me to Implement it?
GF : NO. PUT IT IN YOUR GODDAMN MAIN FUNCTION.
Me : ok let's go *still don't understand what she meant*
GF : Good Job.71 -
Every time I code, my programmer boyfriend has to be near me. Why, you may ask? Because this happens too often:
me: *yells bf name*, why does this not work?????
bf: here, lemme see
*code mysteriously works when bf comes to see*
bf: what, theres nothing wrong with that
me:
14 -
This happened when I was on third semester of the career at university. I had my first boyfriend, the "Python" guy. He has that nickname because he used Python as his main programming language and nobody on the classroom used it.
In a few words, he was a... horrible human being. He talked down to me almost all the time, saying to me that my country was sh*t (he is from United States, and for a reason he never wanted to told me, he cannot go back to his country), that my university was sh*t and he said "you're will be lucky if you rot programming in a chair".
As you might wondering, yes, unfortunately it was a toxic relationship. Once he said he wanted to kill the teacher because he though that he hacked his laptop D:
He claimed that he was going to teach me python and security stuff, bla bla bla, but nothing. I learned python by my own.
I almost lost my faith in dev future because I though that the only ones that could have a real future in programming where people without ethics and only if they have a friend or a relative on a company.
The saddest part was that I dated him because I love smart boys, but he was just an idiot that, furthermore, wanted to change me (he pressured me to have tattoos, dye my hair and have sex, things that, of course, I didn't do).
I found courage to break up with him. I waited until the semester ends (in order not to lose my programming final projects) and, the day after the last day of class, I broke up with him.
I recovered my faith on programming when, next semester, one of the teachers invited me to give a python programming workshop :D and I gave two python workshops, and two of mobile development.
Now I'm working as a junior .NET developer. Thank God I broke up with him before the relationship became even worse. "Python" wanted to marry me after a year! O_O13 -
Programmer boyfriend says he misses me, wants to talk to me and wants us to video call.
He codes on camera instead of talking with me. 😂10 -
Life is about spamming. Want to get into a relationship? Spam every girl you see and like in the streets and ask nicely.
Want more clients? Spam.
Want a job?
Tell everyone you know, that you search for a job.
Send a resume to every company you desire. Spam.10 -
Story time!
My exboyfriend used to code in php 5. It’s his favourite programming language, and I hardly teached him how to code in Python.
One day, I said to him: Hey schatz, let’s go to the sex shop ...
He: Oh yeah 😏
Me: ... and buy an elephant thong 😁
He: What?!
Me: Yes, a blue elephant thong for Php
Me laughed
Me: So?
He: No way!
Me: Please!!!!!
He: Ok. I’m working at a cultural events web page. When I got my first client, we’ll go to the sex shop and buy the “php thong”.
Well... I broke up with him before we could go to the sex shop 💔😂😭( for another reasons, not for the php thong, obviously)
Do you have any funny story like this?
29 -
My best friend and long time crush just told me she got into a new relationship 😑
I'm here, reading rants to take my mind off sadness 😑24 -
We got married and started our relationship at 1.0. After our first argument, we managed to patch things up, so it wouldn't all break down: 1.0.1
Same night, I suggested a sexy new feature, and we worked up a good sweat implementing it together.
I got too excited and released prematurely: 1.1.0
After that, she was a bit cross, but then I suggested a hotfix. She agreed and got right on top of it. After a few minutes she finished and managed a release as well: 1.1.1 😏4 -
Items checked since entering devRant the last time:
- finished my PhD
- escaped a toxic relationship
- moved to the US for work
- turned 30
The end of my decade was pretty good.6 -
My work is soo time consuming that I am scared of entering into a relationship. But I think I genuinely like her. :/11
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!dev
Being an introvert 17-year-old is tough at times :/
Have yet to find someone who shares my interests and has the will to get to truly know me.
Most people just barely scratch the surface and judge for what they see, but after all, I cannot expect any sort of deep relationship to take place with any of my peers.17 -
When you introduce your girlfriend to your Best friend and after some time they start dating each other and you are unaware of the situation but after sometime you get to know about their relationship , now you're really pissed and want to take revenge, then you remember that the girl's parents are strict af and you know that they won't tolerate that their daughter is in relationship
so, you tell her parents about her and
they decide to send her to a different school located in another city
The End
tl;dr
When two pointers are pointing to a same memory location then if any one of them deallocates the memory, the other pointer becomes a dangling pointer
:v6 -
Like a bad relationship
Be really excited for the first month or so then once the new car smell starts to fade, lose interest and dump it.3 -
Fuck relationships, the only relationship I can have and maintain is with my Linux or in my databases.3
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++-ing a random rant from the feed is like a one night stand whereas subscribing to a user's rant is like a long term relationship!57
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Just lost the love of my life. I really thought we were soul mates and now she quit the relationship after a half year. I was even planning my proposal already. I never felt so bad in my life.11
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I really have this fucking love/hate relationship with application security.
For a lot of stuff that I write, user input has to be validated, authentication is required and so on and I do love looking into that, pentesting my own applications to death and thinking about the security architecture of the application itself.
But, sometimes, I just want to focus on the fucking features and then it annoys the living hell out of me that securing an application can take so much time and brain power.
Yay and grrrr, I guess.8 -
OS relationship(explicitly)
Windows is my girlfriend
Mac is that rich girl I always wanted to
Fuck
And
Linux is Side bitch that I only use when above are not responding9 -
Just broke up with my girlfriend and it feels AWESOME! Like I’m free now! I finally can do what I like to!
Finally! To live without regrets and fears of not being able to entertain someone. It’s finally my thoughts, my music, MY life. My fucking life. Just me as is and it’s awesome. Finally, after three years of suffering.
FUCK YOU16 -
I wish there is such thing as branch in a relationship. So that whenever a couple are having a fight, they can create a branch and work their shit out in that branch and eventually merge to the master branch.
Wait
Merge....
That just costs.... more conflicts3 -
Confession: I sometimes drop in lines like "not everything should be public, some things should be private" and "good understanding of the relationship is vital" etc. when arguing with the girlfriend. If she ever finds out what I'm doing I'm in serious trouble...
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!rant ! technical
Just want to share with my devrant family.
Finally in relationship.
Funny thing is
Me-she
24-29
Hindu-jain
Non veg - veg
Don't have dressing sense- awesome dressing sense
Programmer-jewelry designer
Not so hygienic - so much hygienic
No gym ,no exercise - yoga master
Geeky - hate pc worms
2 times in jailed - follow every rule
Back bancher - front bancher
Love shayari/old bollywood song - EDM / western songs
Common bridge between us
MARVAL FANS
😂24 -
Why the fuck am I - who never had a girlfriend in his life - the person my friends come to to get relationship advice?
Well, I can tell them what no to do...13 -
🙄 Windows asked me to install the update thrice. I asked it to remind me later. The fourth time it just shut my system down and started updating..
This is what you call a constructive and understanding OS-User relationship 🌝
3 -
Its never a good idea to let 2 bots have a conversation on Discord...
i think they have some kind of relationship crisis idk.
3 -
Hey girl,
I want our relationship to be a poor recursion, so that it never terminates.
#devspickupline9 -
The phone conversation that resulted in a breakup:
Me (to the new girl): So, which service did you take?
[My girlfriend enters and takes the phone from me; I was shocked by the sudden entry]
New girl: GoDaddy!
Girlfriend slams the phone on my face.
That day, I lost 2 things: one on-going and another potential relationship ...10 -
I tried to build an application in a container, but the build failed with 54 warnings and 86 errors.
My coworker watched the build fail from behind me, and jokingly said "Well... have fun going through all that".
I told him to wait just a second.
I switched out the image for the build step with a slightly altered one.
Build fails with one error.
Coworker just stares at the screen with his mouth open.
I'm starting to appreciate Docker now.3 -
I opened a post starting with a "NO TOFU" logo and I was wondering what relationship existed between the SSH protocol and anti-vegan people.
After some paragraphs it explained that TOFU stands for Trust On First Use (a security anti-pattern).
7 -
!dev-related
Didn't think that'd ever happen, but I got back together with my girlfriend.
We hadn't seen each other for a while due to... let's call it a "very unfortunate combination of circumstances", which made me sad (and her too, apparently).13 -
How the fuck have I not been using GO!
What bullshit wizardry is this!!!
I think I'm in fucking love!!
Sorry php, it's been a long long relationship, but I think I have a crush on this hamster. 🥰18 -
I hate people who don't value transparent and assertive communication. I'm saying this thinking about an specific client.
This client is a boss of Web agency, and has some contractors working on their projects. I worked for them for a year, doing Web projects from scratch and also maintenance.
Then, one week, the communication stopped. No answers, no feedback, nothing. For months. They ghosted me.
I tried contact a few times with no luck. After 3 months, they started to remove me from slack, git, base camp.
And that's it. I was discarded and it seems I don't even deserved a message to be aware of that.
I don't mind to end business relationship anytime, for any reason. There are lot of reasons a working relationship would not work, and that's OK. We should have partners that are a great fit for us.
But at least say it. Ghosting is something ridiculous and unethical.5 -
Interviewer: "You said you're passionaite and love what you do but what's the thing can be demotivating you in doing programming?"
Me:"Relationship. I never had a girlfriend since I started coding."
Interviewer: "You're hired, we think you're good"1 -
Honestly, I have a love/hate relationship with coding. On one hand, I can feel on top of the world when something works the way I want it to. On the other hand, coding can make me feel more incompetent and depressed about my life than anything else. I would never want to do anything else with my life, but it's really tough when the thing you love is also the source of a lot of self-hate.1
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Seriously does this master/slave bullshit actually affect everyone here?
From what I’ve seen it’s just a fucking idea / suggestion not a full blown change set being implemented.
Stop fucking over reacting to bubble wrap nonsense, if you want to call it a master/slave relationship then call it a fucking master/slave relationship and be done with it, if this really offends you or you believe political correctness is needed here, go call it something else, at the end of the day it’s still going to be the same thing, just called something else.9 -
New job on the horizon after being unemployed for a couple of months. Moving away from full-stack a bit to focus in on front-end stuff. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Expect rage-filled rants in the near future 👌
Taking some time off was beneficial in all kinds of ways: got out of long term toxic relationship, got in betterer shape, learned stuff I'm actually interested in, mental health improved massively along with self-esteem, and I reconnected with friends and family. I'm actually enjoying life again. Don't get me wrong though, I had to claw my way out of a pretty dark hole... But I'm starting to think I fucking made it. This is a new start and I'm excited.
Fuck being in a toxic relationship.
Fuck working a job that is killing you.
If you're reading this and feel stuck: you deserve better. Listen to your gut, only you know what kind of life is good for you. It doesn't matter if it's a good job by every possible standard if it's making you miserable! A relationship exists to help you grow, to give you energy, to cultivate love. Sure, you'll go through bad times but if it's pathologically bad it won't get better on it's own. Trust me, I waited years for things to get better.
Anyways, good luck with whatever is challenging you right now, big or small. 😘6 -
wtf. 2 days into a relationship and she is asking me to buy her a phone ( I can buy her a phone if i want to, but within todays of her telling me yes, after frustrating me for a month when asking her out). Once again I have sucessfully entered into another relationship that will definetly end bad.14
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How is your relationship with your lead developer?
Today, mine used the bathroom stall next to me and we were talking and cracking jokes.
A friendship that was forged in tech, blood, tears and now shit
Because there are friends, and there are shitty friends(omg so punny)9 -
I have a love and hate relationship with programming. You'll see me as the happiest and most motivated person ever. The next minute, you'll see me as an extremely depressed suicidal person. Then when a code works, I jump like hell.1
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Oh boy how do I put it?
So I am an introvert and I have a strange question.
But first some context is needed. I am mostly nice to people not because I like every one but because I think it would only waste my time arguing with them so I just start to ignore the person I don't like. Which puts me in a strange situation where a lot of people think I am their friend where I don't care about them heck I don't know names of some.
Now because I am introvert people/friends see me as someone they could unload their secrets on (knowing I won't tell anyone (because I don't gossip(because it's waste of time) ) ). So I know almost every gossip worthy shit that I don't want to know about or don't care. Sometimes they even ask me for some relationship advice and then it seems like I am like a rubber duck for extroverted people cause at that point they kind of ask questions that clearly they want some specific answer (wich if I don't provide they will say themselves). Also it is also lame to ask me as I have never been in a relationship (I am an Indian and here somehow people seams to get in a relationship just to be in a relationship. (cause it's "modern", "forward thinking" "cool") (which I can already see will not last)). I am not against relationships but I think it's better to appreciate a friendship rather then forcing that "a girl and a boy can't be friends".
Ooh BTW the question to other introverts is if they become rubber ducks to there surrounding people?13 -
SELECT * FROM people WHERE job = 'programmer' AND relationship = 'true' AND age < 30;
Error: 0 results found6 -
When was last time you had Fight or Argument(restricted only to texting) with your GF/BF/Spouse while coding?
The amount of text typed on phone is more than the code on screen.8 -
I love my relationship with the front end team:
—Hey, you have a minute? I need help with some of the endpoints you've created.
—Sure, what's up?
—Nevermind I figure it out.
Solving problems without effort. That's what I call efficiency.5 -
I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship with Ubuntu.
I love it but whenever I'm with it it screws up my environment and doesn't work when I need it to.
I go back to Windows reluctantly and get everything set up and stable. I'm happy, but not excited about it. And then, within a few months, I get that thought. Maybe if I put enough work in I can make Ubuntu work for me as my main environment.24 -
I finally signed my severance package deal today!
I think this work relationship couldn't have had any happier ending than this.
So many years of unhappiness to be replaced by a new job and brighter opportunities next year. I am so looking forward to it! -
It's funny how bad I speak about Microsoft, but I often watch their videos, it's like a toxic relationship.
3 -
I want my relationship to be like a Nintendo DS cartridge. If we have any problems, take it out, blow on it, and put it back in.2
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So, during my Java lessons we had a teacher who had a very special relationship with the language.
During the introduction he used to tell us that interfaces in Java are really poorly designed and that they would not reflect how an interface normally should be implemented. The possibility for a developer to add default methods to an interface or that a class could inherit from multiple interfaces was unacceptable to him.
Due to those reasons, he would hate on Java 8 and tell us to not use it and instead stay with Java 7 - dafuq!4 -
!RANT
my friend who never smoke or drink or relationship to much career oriended.working in multinational company. recently south african petrol company gave offer letter to him.
he was ill from few days.(completed his engineering in civil with 9.1 pointer last year.)
somekind of syndrome found in him. due to which he will not able to walk in 2 years.
he share this information with me. asking me tips,"how to inform my mom dad? I don't wan to face them. I can't do anything for them."
life is fucking unfair with some peoples.1 -
Node: Will you go out on a date with me ?
JavaScript: Where?
Node: Outside the browser.
JavaScript and Node lived together happily ever after.
*** After marriage ***
Node: What is wrong with you? Why don’t you let me EXPRESS my feeling?
JavaScript: Stop overREACTing.
Node: You never want to understand my point of Vue.14 -
When my most hated ex tried to contact me in LinkedIn, since he works as a recruiter for some lame, generic HR company.
I was trying to tell myself so hard this relationship never happened, and that it was a bad dream that lasted 3 years. Oh well.7 -
Quirks of.... PHP 😂😂😂😂
It's just a quirky language, you either love it or you hate it, or you hate it because you caught the bandwagon in town.
Weirdest quirk though, would have to be function naming conventions and order of arguments.
Shit be crazy at times but you get used to it.1 -
Because of GDPR I receive lot of mails: "we love to keep our relationship", "we really like to present you future offers", "please click here to give your accept", etc.
Me: move email to trash!5 -
Your identity is the most valuable thing you have.
Losing it for whatever reason, for example to be like your partner or your parents want you to be is probably the most wrong thing to do.10 -
Me and my woman are working remotely, at the same company, so we’re spending a lot of time together3
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Girlfriend wants to start a fight almost ending the relationship while I have to finish an app in 2 days and the Volley library is starting to get too complicated (should've learned Retrofit instead).
I'm doing the project alone because half of my group literally quit the course to study Advertising and Marketing in the middle of the project.
This is going to be one of those weeks...3 -
devRant broke my relationship.
I am being commanded to put "I love my girlfriend" in my bio to scare away all the 'women' that are apparently on here9 -
Trying to program at all when your soulmate that you've been together with for over 14 years moves to her mother because of relationship problems. And suddenly you feel like a truck is crushing you constantly. Ah fuckit11
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So, a year of Tinder Gold, my review:
------
No dates.
------
End of review.
Well, actually it did provide a bit of useful information that can hopefully enable me to get a date in the future, but in essence, it wasn't particularly any good at getting me an actual date, let alone a relationship !
In case you are wondering, what great secrets did I discover:
Geographical boundaries effect dating, eg. no one wants to date you on another island..
Transport is vital.
Athletic body and strength is vital.
(Minimum weight lift 100 lb I suspect..)
Disposable income is vital.
No debt is helpful..
Financial assets are helpful..33 -
Its almost like as if some bit of code saw the relationship and stuck these next to eachother.
OP - @hidingFromBoss & @ceee
7 -
Okay, so I have to write a script that will get user data from an AD, additional information from an XML, combine those two to get boss user relationship and output that mess into an excel sheet.
Oh, and both sources are ofc completely inconsistent. So I need full error handling on everything.
Aaaaaaand I have to write it in VB script... Using np++... Without plugins...
I hate my life!8 -
Well, I am now in a commited relationship with devRant.
Just deleted facebook, mainly because it was draining me, MY BATTERY, my battery I mean. And also was not using that old serpant.1 -
We all have that hate-hate relationship with Dreamweaver. But I gotta say, their premade templates are rather informative.
11 -
I'll rant on this one. I have two colleagues in a relationship in my office, the *worst* distraction ever is having them sit across of me constantly chuckling, bickering and poking each other while doing *no work at all*. I fucking hate this shit, drives me nuts -_-2
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I've been using devRantron recently to try it out. It's hard enough to be productive when I just get notifications on my phone, but getting desktop notifications that pop up over my code... how can I not immediately go look who commented on what??
So thanks guys, the app is great, but I have a love/hate relationship with the desktop notifs due to my lack of self-control.2 -
Found this girl who also loves coding like me..... She's very studious... Have been doing projects with her inorder to spent time with her...Like for 3 years now....
But I don't understand what our relationship status is.....I tried asking her out..she just changes the topic every fuckin time... Like she also tend to spend time with me but doing technical stuff only....
I'm totally debugger zonez20 -
Normal peeps: I wasted time in that relationship
Me: I wasted time to fix "unable to access gitlab.com please check if you have access to the file" only to realize the site was down1 -
Lying to your misses about the purchase price of a new laptop - protecting the relationship or just plain wrong?6
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Family support? What's that?
I have a complicated relationship with the rest of the fam, so I have been avoiding talking to them for a few years now, and it's not like they've been dying to contact me either. Except for mom, who would sometimes give useful insight. The rest, no support, work-wise or not.4 -
My cousin needed quick website and I could never turn him down for the kind of relationship I have with him. When I completed the web, he was like "how were you able to finish it over the weekend?". And I said, "it's all magic"3
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When/how do nocturnal people interact with other people and get into a relationship?
It feels so lonely here.8 -
So today was interesting.
I had to extract the domain from an email address and compare the domain to a hard coded whitelist, nothing difficult, fuck takes 2 min really.
Except the project starts throwing 500 errors for no god damn reason, like seriously, I double check syntax, nope looks fine, run pho's syntax checker on the file
# php -l /path/to/file.php
Nope says it's all good.
Checks error log on server -> no log
OoooooooooKay then.
Comments out the few lines, saves, errors gone.
remove comments, error comes back.
Do this a few times, and magically the fucking thing stops throwing errors, now I haven't actually changed anything, and I know this project is so fragile I don't know how it stays running at times but fuck me this is a painful joke.6 -
I really don't want to ask for likes... But my life has been getting shittier and shittier. Mental problems. Relationship problems. Coding problems.
A stress ball could really help.1 -
PHP...
When I first learned to code - like everyone - I felt the need to try as many programming languages as possible. After the comforting syntax of myClass.MyProperty/myClass.MyFunction()/C#, the $ symbols everywhere made me want to vomit...
Fast forward 2 years later. I learned a bit and wanted to make a website backend. Checked my hosting - which was purely a frontend thing at the time - free PHP hosting or £15/month for ASP .NET hosting...
I begrudingly wrote my first .php file, hating my life.
But by the end of that night my relationship with PHP was already cemented.
And that's why I like PHP.4 -
That one day you realize you can be in an abusive relationship with your boss, and he's a sales guy, and gaslighting is what he does PROFESSIONALLY.4
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Course title: Advanced Database Management
Course Objectives:
-Create a database with SQL.
-Describe data normalization of database information.
-Describe distributed database management system.
-Design databases based on Entity Relationship modeling.
-Discuss connecting to databases with server-side scripts.
-Discuss database administration and security.
-Discuss database systems
Like. Come. On.7 -
Toxic relationships are the worst thing that can happen to anyone. While some of them you can get out of or avoid. You can't do much about the ones you're born into.
Such people have their egos up their butt. They just don't realise that they're just a tiny dust particle in the entirety of cosmos. They not only make things difficult for others by their presence, but often go out of their way to do that.
Fuck this! -
Client: "We need a quote for a website build."
Me: "OK. What kind of website?"
Client: "We are working on a brief now, but we need a cost ASAP."
Me: "Alright. It should cost between $X and $Y. Dependent on the brief."
Client: "We can't go back with a range. We need a set price."
Me: "Well, give me a solid Functional Specification, and I'll give you a price based on that."
Client gave me a Func Spec. I gave them a price. Then they gave me change after change after change...
But they refused to pay more than the initial fixed price. By the end of it, I would have been better off working at McDonalds.4 -
Dear udemy, please chill. I am glad you found me, but I am not looking for a every-single-youtube-video type of relationship.
4 -
-release an app (legally)
-stay healthy + avoid sickness
-speak conversational Mandarin
-build passive income (optional)
-get out of toxic work relationship/s (optional)3 -
I hate android studio. No wait i love it. No i hate it. Can't seem to make up my mind about it. Its slow, kills my computers performance, messy interface. But despite that it's something appealing about it. Everything seems to be avaliable for previewing as one work.. aaand then it breaks my computer and I hate it again..3
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Had a girlfriend, but didn't take relationship too seriously, because ya know we are both 15 and having a serious relationship is stupid at this age. She did take it serious. When I got into coding I dedicated one day of my week just to learn that, but that meant we were seeing each other more rarely, since we were in different schools. So yeah she got pissed and stopped talking. At least I know coding now so it's not too bad1
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!rant
Me and one of my best friends joke way too much about being in a relationship that when he said that we should get married I legit spaced out and started to think how would that even work because he lives in Mexico and I live in the U.S. then i wondered how our work schedule would be and who would hog his gaming pc the most
We are both dudes and we are not gay. But you know man...if you are nor gay for your best friend...are you even best friends?6 -
Today's my birthday... As usual, I worked in my office... At morning (approx 11:30AM) I received a call from my boss yelling cause a shit deadline and for some shit that I didn't sent to him (I already sent, the bastad was in vacation and didn't saw it)... His wife wished me happy birthday but the mother fucker didn't say a shit instead yelling during all day... Our relationship sucks cause he's a fucking bastard that doesn't know a shit of development process and I am done of his stupid shit... I fucking need to change my job!!!!13
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DAMNIT JUPYTER. Kernel stop dying on me when I need you. I thought this was a mutual loving relationship.
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Have you ever had to get over someone? I don't mean in a relationship. I mean having that person betray you in a way that shows that they are beyond help?
That's what I'm dealing with right now. I'm not crying I've skipped: anger and denial, I've breezed through bargaining, right now in the middle of acceptance and depression.
Now I'm having a hard time admitting I had feelings for her at one point. 🙁
Currently Listening To: f*** You by Cee Lo.4 -
She : Bring the stars for me.
He : Are you mad? How can i even do that? Impossible, ask something else.
She : Stop writing Codes.
He : Ok, How many stars you need? -
Recently, I have planned out my weekends to learn new stuffs.
And guess what, since I needed a project to start with, I have taken devrant related projects.
Example: Writing a python library as devrant api wrapper.
I have few other stuffs to learn too which I will begin once I finish this. That too most probably will also have some relationship with DevRant.. -
When I met her she was just plain html, I took my time and styled her with love, I never loved intruders so I kicked bootstrapCss outta the way,
made my custom queries, and with some vanilla JS she looked like the DOM of my dreams, but now our relationship has grown through the users(years) and things are becoming more object oriented and it feels like I'm no longer in control, first it started with jQuery and some Sass and maybe I thought we could get along, but then came React and his Routers and though they said they'll be partners, 😅😅
Now I know they ....
FEEL FREE TO GIVE THE PERFECT ENDING 😊1 -
Anybody ever relocate for a position before? Was it worth it? Were you in a relationship at the time?3
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When you have a one-to-one relationship, do you merge the tables into one table or do you keep the two tables?7
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NDAs for me are a good predictor for a bad client or client relationship.
Doesn't work so well for larger cos, and it's not unusual for them to require one anyway.
I charge a fairly high flat fee for signing one. The people who won't pay probably don't need the NDA anyway and were going to be problematic.3 -
Every data communication example has Alice and Bob communicating with each other. I wonder after all these years how are they able to maintain a stable relationship.
I wish my girlfriend understood this. -
Relationship between ranting and productivity.
When productivity increases, ranting increases as you are dealing with a lot of shit. So ranting is actually beneficial to high productivity.
When productivity decreases below zero because you have a lot of fucking problems, your ranting also increases sharply.
The only peace zone is with moderate, positive or negative, productivity and low ranting, i.e when you are not doing much
16 -
I've now spent 6 hours trying to find a way to do something similar, as you can do in Neo4j, where you find relations up to depth 5, in PostgreSQL.
The issue is, I have to tables. One with persons, another one with relations (incoming ID and outgoing ID) to have a many to many relationship.
I'm at the point where I just don't care getting it to work. In Neo4j it's a fucking one liner, so why the fuck am I getting assigned to do this in PostgreSQL?
To prove a point? Well fuck you, I'm done with this shit.3 -
Broke up with my girlfriend due to ongoing stress to commit to the relationship, to perform at my current job, graduating early next March, looking for a full time job/studying for interviews, and going to school.
We never really planned long term and we were just in the relationship to have fun, but man do breakups suck.
I want to be able to focus on myself so I can set myself up for greatness in the future. Unfortunately that means sacrifices have to be made so I don’t lose my mind. Oof4 -
Just met a lonely guy , he was terrified . I asked him what's the issue ? He said .. " My girlfriend told me that she loves gemstones , I bought her one . She broke up with me ! " And I was so confused .. I asked him why ? He said I didn't know she was a developer . I wouldn't dare to gift her a ruby... I know how it feels bruh.2
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I found this funny, or my dev-humor is just really bad :>
Friend: Ugh
Friend: Java and BlueJ.
Friend: Why you indicate relationships between classes that have no relationships.
Friend: Fu BueJ
Me: It's called a crush :wink:
Me: *badum-tssss*
Precision: As in having a crush on a person, but no relationship :)1 -
Back when I was doing my uni final year project. i was given the choice of either writing codes or writing documentation (graphs, requirement and a whole lot of other madeup bullshit)
I deicide go with coding, sign up with laracast. watch a whole lot of screen cast. and BOOM, coding is easy - I was literally quoting bombastic technical terms like many-to-many relationship to my group mates after 2 videos. (didn't even know what was bootstrap at that time) Thats was when I decide I wanna code for a living. Laravel made me a developer.1 -
Why would anyone think if I’m having less emotion, I’m stress.
For. One. Last. Time!
I’m not stress. I know how to handle stress. Just that I’m emotionally affected by my relationship and thus showing less emotion.
*Inner me to boss and colleague. 😩2 -
I don't care if you're a Senior Developer. You just make me look dumb adjusting to your needs of not normalizing your database queries.
We agreed that a restaurant can have many items, but instead, I get "an item has many restaurants" relationship. Geez.2 -
The only relationships that exist in my life, are the ones in my projects' ER diagrams. And they too are infected with foreign keys..!
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Coding and standing up. Will these two ever develop a relationship and make me live 10 years longer?2
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Aight, so today hasnt been a good day so far, yesterday I stayed up late working on a side projext im getting paid for coz I had to deploy today, i didnt finish because I spent hours trying to get the crappy html with some awful jquery libraries to work with angular, seriously this guy uses the bullet character instead of <ul>, after my cellphone fell during the night and I didnt hear the alarm so I arrived 1 1/2 hrs late to work, now that Im here I cant work because my pc says
The trust relationship between this workstation and the primary domain failed3 -
Not just dev goals.
-Stable relationship with [Redacted]
-Finish my projects
-Get new SSD
-Finally get paid for the DLR project
-Not fucking up my exams
-Finish my blacksmithing idea/project
-Play a good game that's not Destiny2
-Learn python.
-Drivers license
-Think positively for once4 -
Person1: Can I follow you on social media? (And learn more about you and your life, your friends, your relatives, where you work, what you eat, where and when you go on vacation, where you live, your relationship status, and more! More information than I could get if I setup a surveillance van outside your home for months on end, basically.)
Person2: Sure!
Person1: Can I follow you home?
Person2: That is creepy...1 -
This is it guys, my relationship got corrupted today. The damage is irreversible and there's no backups... I thought she was the one.4
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Dear fb user
We know we have been abusing, molesting you.
But we have now been told to stop.
Would stay with us to make this relationship work, we still need to make money, by you staying.
Sincerely,
Erin Egan
Global Chief Privacy Officer -
I have a weird love/hate relationship with JavaScript.
I'm not at all a webDev, but I like to use it occasionally because it's fun and I really like its syntax... but it's an absolute pile of shit.
If you put racing stripes and a spoiler on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.2 -
Inspired by my professor’s rant about people don’t know how to google stuffs, I made a scriptable script to solve all those issues. It’s a super smart script that shows detailed step by step solution of how to tackle down a problem
For those who doesn’t know, scriptable is a free app for Apple basically writing scripts that can be used, in JavaScript.
Here is the repo:
https://github.com/txstc55/...
Please try it out, you will love it, I promise
Disclaimer: I am not responsible for the ending of any relationship after using this script
4 -
I promised myself that if I didn't start up a new relationship by September that I would plan to start a new lease in life and move in 2019. The online dating subscription I've used for a few years will cancel at the end of this month.
I used to doubt that fate was real, but times like this make me come close to believing in it. Maybe fate is just one large karmic refactoring.4 -
Drop or be more flexible with the Math requirements. I took every programming course my High School offered including AP CompSci and passed with high grades. I wasn't able to pursue a degree because I wasn't "allowed" to take CS classes without first meeting the Calc 2 prerequisite. I am terrible with Math but programming makes sense to me, I'm good at it, and I enjoy it. I think it's horrible to stop someone from pursuing a degree because of a prerequisite. I understand the Math/CS relationship but being good at math doesn't make you a good developer. Just my opinion, I could be wrong.4
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when i was still studying "web integrator", didnt know shit about programming and just went there to be with a friend.
I quickly got bored, sick and tired of it all being procedural style so i decided there must be something better...
i spend loads of time but eventually developed my own almost fully fledged oop framework, minus polymorphic relationship support, events( i was on the way to that but called it messageBus ),
implicit route bindings
and the routing was based on reflection of controller methods following rest naming.
also i hadnt discovered composer, yet.
by the time i discovered composers, i also discovered laravel, which is my now prefered framework.. :) -
Finding out that the Project Manager and Test Manager are actually in a relationship then spending the rest of the day trying to work out what you said to each of them in confidence
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When considering ignorance and sucking up: is the entity relationship between head and ass a many to many?
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When people tell me they're computer illiterate, they either know their exact Windows version to the Service Pack and can utilize the task manager effectively or they don't know that their computer desktop is different from their browser homepage. There is no in-between.
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As someone who isn't that much of a people's person (like a lot of coders), how difficult is it to manage a relationship? (as in a romantic one)17
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I really do love my job but after 2 liters of green tea and one aspirin I'm still tired and my headache is coming back
...
This can't be a healthy relationship...9 -
So it's Valentine's day here in the states.
I don't know what to do for my GiF.
All I did was rm -rf objects around the apartment and she seemed pleased...Am I doing this relationship thing right?6 -
Made a friend when I did my first cosplay last October. This year was my 3rd year of studies, and I had to do ab internship sometime in the year. Friend hooked me up with their SO's company. This company shares the office with my current company due to long stories (it's an amicable relationship). After my internship the CEO of the other company offered my a 3 month contract back in March, which got extended until January. So here I am, working in Edutech helping the local South African colleges.1
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How does a programmer changes his/her commitment status ?
git commit -am "got into a relationship"3 -
I’ve developed a love/hate relationship with wkhtmltopdf.
I’ve also apparently lost the ability to sleep properly.
These may be related things.11 -
Idk about you but when I get half a dozen opvotes from a single account and it seems to be a female, I fall in love a little bit.
Now, if I could just spare time for an actual relationship...7 -
Quick Question Please.
For those of us who are in a dating relationship, how do you handle dating (someone you are sure you will want to get married to), tight work schedule and learning new things about tech???11 -
I don't think I've ever had a love-hate relationship like the one I have with Visual Studio. It's a great IDE, but sometimes it makes me want to throw my machine through the window..2
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!rant
I am sorry for having been so harsh on you yesterday npm. Dont fuck off... You are my friend... I love you. You are not in an abusive and manipulative relationship...
You know how it is when i loose my temper....3 -
The key to any good relationship is compromise. Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce the 2-4-tab alternating space indent style!
if (x) {
somemethod();
}
else if (y)
{
someOtherMethod();
} else {
iDontKnowHowToTabOnAndroidMethod();
}5 -
Ok, I'm not saying there's a causal relationship here... I'm just going to say that the morning the VSCode Python extension is publicly moved in to the Microsoft product line, it starts devouring my resources by spawning a million instances of python.exe on startup. Computer unresponsive in minutes.
Again, I'm not *saying* there's a causal relationship... but I do find the timing somewhat suspicious. -
Drupal Starter Kit:
- .class:after:{ content: "text" }
- early 2000s site architecture
- a desire to work on dying CMSs
- lack of care for a customers long standing relationship3 -
Working on a project that's due "yesterday" but girlfriend wants to go out.
Two bullets. Client. Her.
Which one do you choose?6 -
Samsung, because their devices used to be the very best but now their UI only gets really slow after a few weeks, they're too expensive etc. Basically there are about 10 other companies i'd prefer, even Apple. Using a Oneplus right now.
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Just spent the last hour going through code and nHibernate relationship mappings only to realise that my repository's create method had an not exists check instead of an exists check preventing it from actually committing the data ........... i'm tired and need a holiday !
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I just started on a Laravel project for a customer. Damn I’ve got a hate/love relationship with that thing.
I fucking love how fucking fast development is it in, even for fairly complex tasks, amazing.
I fucking hate how goddamn fucking slow development is when you get an error, as that shit is near impossible to debug, and you keep getting weird exceptions that you just need to know what means. -
Rant !
I seriously do have a love-hate relationship with programming.
About a couple of hours ago ,I was so happy learning new things and already planned I can make something so awsum with this stuff and then when I sat down to code it didn't work .Damn it , going through just about 10 lines of code for a couple of hours . Googling it ,no luck .3 -
I'm always amazed at how people tend to prefer a certain pain instead of an uncertain relief... Batshit crazy...
One cousin talking about his abusive relationship: "Could be worst.... At least he doesn't beat the children"
A colleague talking about his failed marriage: "It's not so bad, we just have to avoid each other."
And you'll find the same shit with management. "The prod is only on D.O.S. twice a day...", " Every deploy is a hell as shit hit the fan, but after a week it's the usual"...
Crazy how "change" afraid people1 -
I've been playing with code for years, but only finally started trying to make it profitable by working through making websites for cash. A friend of mine is just getting into it brand new and is really dedicated. He is going to learn fast and I'm going to be able to walk him through a lot of my mistakes to move much faster than I did.
Is it bad that my favorite part of this relationship is that I will have someone that understands me when I make fun of jQuery? -
Remember that git commits are just like commitments in a relationship.
Make them small and avoid the big ones.6 -
Relationship goals:
Get my linux box to show different tty's on different monitors. (Or maybe just tmux? Split?)
Regardless, I think I'll marry her. -
Can't do anything without you, can't do anything with you.
That's the relationship between coffee and me -
A non-relationship database system with drag and drop + business process flows. It was fun at first, but like my Android phone, it slowed the **** down so much that it affected business operations. Must have been their evil plan all along.
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That moment when exiting vim is easier for you to grasp than to understand how the relationship with your girlfriend works...1
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I just finished a pretty detailed post about my love hate relationship with Docker and Container Orchestration:
https://penguindreams.org/blog/...
I cover a lot. Has anyone else encountered the same issues? What are some seriously pain points you think I missed? -
I have a love hate relationship with the Java garbage collector I love it when it works but when I notice it gcing in performance tests I know bad days are ahead
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That moment that you change one tiny fucking thing in the application's technical 'design' which makes that you have to rethink the entire fucker both functional and security-wise.
Sometimes I have a love-hate relationship with application security. -
I don't really care that the government is watching me scream at my TV during the Bachelorette finale. If they want to watch me get way too emotionally invested in a staged relationship circus, let them watch.2
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and so today almost an hour ago I became the left one... I guess she went with the right one 😂😂😂... How many days have passed between my previous "relationship" post and this one ending... but in truth I was in the "babe" zone 😂😂😂
On to the next one, with the lessons from mistakes of the previous, hopefully she will last longer 🙏1 -
Django was the first then meteor js snap my heart, a few years of love and hate relationship I finally realized phoenix was the one all a long even though I kept thinking about meteor js from time to time <34
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Imagine joining d team lead in the same team where my ex lover who ditched me is working after 5 years
Now I will screw her happiness coz everything z fare in luv n war
She ditched me for a higher paid se engineer after n 6 year relationship
Now I will show her what money can buy..
Welcome to the team ..Ms codedump5 -
More of a question than a rant. How do you developers deal with relationships and such? So I work 8 hours a day programming, and I enjoy it that much, I usually come home and work on my own projects.
As you can imagine this is not something I want to stop. And I don't really want to not code after work, or I wouldn't make progress on my own stuff.
I'm pretty damn sure there's no way a female will put up with this, she wouldn't get enough attention and so on.
I appreciate everyone's honest feed back. Thanks.9 -
Rust's type system is amazing. I love it so much, but every time I get a compiler error I look at garbage collection with envy. It's such a love/hate relationship.7
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I guess coding is a coping mechanism for not matching on any dating sites and hence no dates...
I guess you could say it helps me find alternative methods to release my per up desires... Although I guess a real relationship is something it can't replace... -
TFS, I love you. We've been in a relationship for a long time. I've never seen this before. Please don't do it again. If you feel you must do it again, can we talk about it? Maybe with a third party?
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One's attitude towards something really affects your relationship with others.
I hate school so everyone at school thinks I'm this weird, anti-social freak.
I love programming...everyone in my programmer circle of friends and acquaintances sees me as this cheerful and social person. -
People who say Java and JavaScript don't have a relationship are wrong.
Java has a package for the nashorn JavaScript engine 😤1 -
Android developers will understand my pain.
When you don't ask android studio to auto create those functions in your activity.java code. But studio does it for you anyways.
Then comes Lint, it will give you a warning on the very same code, that studio commented over the default function.
Damn you studio/lint...get over your differences.
Others have a life to live.1 -
I hate trying to explain the difference between vendor and internal development. There is a clear difference. Siloed information and profit are important with a vendor to maintain the relationship with the customer. There are no real motives to do things at the best interest of the business with vendor development. Internal development is the exact opposite. There is a time where you need both but some kind of decision tree should be made around that. #rantoff
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So I'm currently having a love/hate relationship with Atom... I love that it only has what I want and nothing more, but I hate that it lacks a lot of basic features like automatically adding the closing tags to my html, and the only beautifying package I can find defaults to two spaces instead of my usual 4 and I can't find how to change it.
Does anyone know how to change the spacing on the beautify package? And does anyone know a package that will auto close my html tags?7 -
So, next monday I will be starting a new project in my company, the very first I have to manage as a sort of project owner in addition to my usual develer rolem. I will be asked to manage the relationship with the customer and all' the details, issues et cetera. Well, I dont know if I am ready and I tought to ask here some advices. So, what do you experienced developers suggest to a fresh meat? (2 years experience pro it world)
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Planning to write a new book called "How to get a relationship in tech".
First page: you don't. 99 other pages: blank
Totally not frustrated at all /s12 -
I learned a bit of python and started to enjoy programming. The syntax is short and beautiful but because I want to get into AR development I started C# now. The basics were ok but I am going fucking crazy looking at arrays. It's like the time I had to do stuff with Java again. I'd rather get tortured like Theon Greyjoy then writing this clunky garbage. But I really wanna get into AR 😖.
I'd appreciate if someone could give me reasons not to hate this syntax from the bottom of my 💓.
int[ ][ ] ohGodWhy = new int[ ] [ ]5 -
Know that feeling when you break out of a really deep relationship, end up with someone else who's prettier and better in many ways than your ex yet still, during those intimate moments, you can't help but think about your ex and how good life was with them?
My previous laptop even though it had the same processor, lesser RAM, was less prettier and the SSD being the only upgrade to my new one, somehow worked faster, smoother and felt a lot better. :( -
What is longest commute distance you would do? Got now new work but it's about 100km away and thinking should I move closer to workplace or just commute from current apartment.15
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Been having dreams about being able to solve real world problems by solving/modeling with programming tools. Usually trying to fit some relationship or physical problem to a math/programming model. It always makes complete sense while working the problem. Then of course you wake up to a "WTF was that?"1
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What’s the hardest step of greenfielding an application? For me it’s database schema. Finding the correct schema to best serve the underlying business logic. Then comes css. A love hate relationship.3
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learning biology bases turned out to be a greatway to start rationalizing down friendship/relationship to hormons! GREATWAY TOGETDEPRESSED. lel
(thanks anyway to the guy who thought me :P)2 -
I have a love hate relationship with C honestly. I hate that you have to do so much overhead management and control of all of your pointers and arrays and manually handle memory allocation and management, but on the other hand it's pretty cool to work that low / close to the machine code and the programs run lightning quick. Pros and cons, I guess. Would've been interesting to be around in the early days..1
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So you know those movies where the girl fells in love with the bad gay(kidnapper, thief...) and she doesn’t want to be saved.
Same relationship with me and JavaFX.1 -
I have this love-hate relationship with strong typing.
Right now, the types are shared between:
Postgres <-> DB Data Models <-> GraphQL <-> TypeScript <-> MobX-State-Tree2 -
It's now 3am and this issue has been keeping me up for inner an hour... In Entity Framework..
I have a 2 tables/classes in a relationship: Item has many Tags.
I'm trying to delete some Tags using context.allTags.RemoveRange({list of tag objects I want deleted}) but now for some reason it's trying to reinsert/duplicate all Items and thereby violating all uniqueness constraints.
Guess will post the source code TMR but this is like wtf?2 -
Any other primary single parents on here? How's your relationship with your ex? Why are you the primary parent?
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Felt like an idiot when realized that argument `back_populate` refers to the attribute of the class passed to `relationship`, not the stupid name of the table of any class, ugh
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Last week i met my teacher for my final project. He said i must compare 2 method that written in journal with the program that i make. I said okay i will do that.
Today i showed him the oop and mvc journal he said both of then is not a method. Method should have a calculating formula you must compare a method that you can calculate and make a new formula with both of the journal.
Can someone tell me if that is wrong or not? Im confused. Is oop and mvc does have calculate formula? As far as i know oop and mvc only have relationship between the object.1 -
kindaRant();
Gonna give in my resignation in a few days with my collegue who is a designer (we have been hunted down). Worst is, we have to keep a good relationship with the boss (complicated) but eventually he will ask us to stay for the rest of the year. And believe me when I say, I really don't want to stay in this fuckshit longer than needed. Any advice on good tactics?2 -
Non "dev"-rant, more of a social/relationship/life rant..
Just,, fuck,, my,, life..
Backstory; I have some issues, I'm not normal, socialy, so I finally gave up on life, do just enough to continue providing for my daughter (cause her mother is more fucked up than me), that means letting go of any chance of happiness, dating, the few friends I had and so forth.
The latter simply means that I stop trying to keep em around, because that's how it's always been, and they're all gone, all except one. THE one, the one I work with, the one I fell totally in love with a year ago, the one that is the first and last thing of the day on my mind, the one I had to tell my feelings for, the one that I really need some distance from.. But no. She's the one that won't let me go..
I'm on my way to a concert right now, a concert I tried inviting her to a few months ago, she wasn't interested,, For some reason I opened Instagram right now,, bam, right in my face. Her,, in full makeup, which she never wares, posting a selfie, which she never does..
Whish I could say why life is so fucked, but take my word for it, it just is.. And guess what, After the Christmas holiday, one day in, she probably noticed that something was "off".. and she immediately suggest that we take one of our "dinner dates" next week, and I'd bet that the first question is "you're beeing wierd, what's up?", and all I can say, again, is "can't talk about it".. cause I really can't, anything I say is that much to much..
Fuck!
Yes, this rant is mostly focused on "her", but to get a hold of my state of mind, I've given up, and just accepted that I should never have any kind of social life, cause that's simply best for everyone.
And if you wonder why I'm posting this here, I don't have time for a therapist, and "she" is my PM at work, where I'm THE senior developer.. Every issue that anyone else haven't been able to solve, ends up in my lap. She calls me magic on a daily basis..
Yes, I'm drunk as fuck right now..1 -
Soooo what would be wrong for a developer to aim for a partner in a similar profession or the same?
I had my fair share of exp now and must say that i really love what i do and am really into learning and developing and applying all that I learn. I missed that drive in the dates that I had. I feel passion, purpose and understanding with what we as devs deal all day would be really helpful for a prolonged relationship. I dont wanna go for a power coupling but it would be nice to have ur partner on board no??3 -
!rant
I am doing an API for our training center to store the workouts of the athletes in relationship with the mental & physical load, as well as sleep and health.
How do you document your APIs?
BTW I am using laravel.1
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