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"Let's do some pair programming! It will be fun!"

... Fuck no.

Either I start coding and you open a beer, or the other way around. And sure, I do not mind doing each other's code reviews. I respect your feedback.

But I can't look over your shoulder while you misspell keywords. When I write code, I search, try, debug and play at a high speed.

I'm an impressionist/surrealist writing messy passionate functions, breaking lots of things with broad paintbrush strokes before finishing it into detailed perfection. I remember all the places in the code I need to work on, and cover everything with tests.

You're a baroque coder, sometimes even a hyperrealist, with your two-finger 10 wpm typing, writing code strictly line-by-line, decorating every statement with the right checks & typehints in advance. You can not keep two functions in your head at the same time. You write tests reluctantly, but you hate that I barely plan. You plan everything, including your pee breaks.

As a coworker I respect you.

But there is no bigger hell than pair programming with you.

Comments
  • 3
  • 3
    Wrecked.
  • 23
    You sir, you speak the true true!
  • 3
    Been there, felt that.
  • 7
    That was somewhat beautiful :|
  • 1
    If you think that's fun you should try mobbing.
  • 5
    Never had done pair programming, but it takes only common sense to see the same way it will go down.

    This had to be said. Upvoted.
  • 2
    I found pair programming most helpful as an intern with another intern, but can't even fathom trying to do it again 13 years later.
  • 3
    Whenever I have someone look over my shoulders as I type I loose the ability to spell or to know where anything is.
    If someone else is typing and I am pair programming that's a different story.
  • 4
    Man, I feel the pain. Had to pair-program with some guy for 4 hours the other day, spent half the time staring out the window. If I code, I'm in my code, I'm in the zone, if you code - Meh, don't give a shit.
  • 4
    Hands lose the ability to type when they are being observed. @CogInTheWheel @console
  • 1
    Depends - as usual - on the other one.
    I once had a colleague (still Friends) with whom it was a great joy to pairprogramming - comparable workingstyle.
    Another colleague I sometimes need to work with is coding with his mouse (!!!!). I'm always getting crazy when I see him working....
  • 2
    Holy hell, I wish I could fav this one thousand times. I have one of those co-workers also, and it drives me absolutely insane trying to help or code with them.

    I identified so hard with this I legitimately got a little choked up. This is some epic-quality rantage riche har. I feel it, I feel it so much.
  • 1
    Reading this, we should do pair programming 😃
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