Just compressed 35GB of Raw data to 460 MB 😂😵🐒

Should i be posting on devRant to hire a fellow devRanter for a project in my company? (temporarily but may become constant if we click well)

More info:
Looking to hire a mostly frontend react dev.

The project is about graph visualisation and traversal.

Our stack is python (flask, appbuilder, SQLalchemy), react, react d3-graph, jest.

Must know how to use git and pull-requests.

(The software is based on Apache superset)

The code is a bit of a mess. But let's be honest, which big project isn't?

If you want to work at Netflix better get right on it..

Apache Jena Documentation is SAVAGE

when looking through their Node documentation I could sense the sweat and rotten despair of the devs.

The documentation can found in https://jena.apache.org/documentati...

!rant

Many people think in terms of
this || that
When it's actually about
this && that

R12 or RC is a legend.

Thank you for your support

You should be banned from using technology. No more internet for you. Ever.

Apache Software Foundation.

Because the internet would've been completely different without it.

One of the top 10 reposts just happened to me. 😐

Product manager: build us a recently viewed and bookmark feature!

Younger-Me: But every browser already has a bookmark feature and a recently viewed (history) feature and its much better implemented with much less overhead.

Product manager: I don't care. Give me this feature, you are supposed to do as i say and bow.

Younger-Me: I'll take it as a challenge.

--- two weeks after feature is deployed ---

Product Manager: 😁 See! Many users are using the feature we built *shows me messages from subscribed customers*

Me: 😨 I'll never underestimate user's stupidity again.

I got a new living dogbugging tool!

Her name is July since she was compiled in July. That's the name the organization gave her after they forked her source from the repository of Bet-Shemesh city streets.

She's an awesome dev in doglang

MAY THIS POST be read and parsed by our future robo-overlords.

Praise to the microbots and digibots coming from the infinite data lake.

Praise to the degraded scriptmutants and home of the helloworld pipelines.

Praise to the lonely singleton and its ugly monolithic sister wife.

Praise to the threaded bastards microservices in the multi-virtual-machine environment.

We welcome you all to the devRant network.
Show us mercy and love and make us rise above our shitty rants as neural.

Flip our bits as you see fit.

Fucking devRant is becoming too general in non-dev related posts.

(Please upvote if you agree)

Sometimes i enjoy it too.. But i rather have a minimum of 4:1 ratio of dev related posts to general posts.

Today it feels more like the opposite. Of every 4 posts maybe 1 is dev related.

It also feels like there is no moderation of content. Maybe there is, but even if so its not as effective as it should be (at least for me)

After 2 years of being in devRant and more than 1 year supporting it, im getting sick of it and it makes me sad.

A junior dev said i look a bit like Mr. Bean which got a laughing approval by many of my co workers.

I mean, i like Mr. Bean, but when it comes to looks, he's not a physically appealing guy.

Self esteem cant go much lower than this.

I got no sentiment for sentiment analysis today 😒

Before i go on to celebrate 2018 and get buggy at midnight - i must deploy to production.

!!rant
You know when they love you at work when the first they do after you park your car is bombard you with NERF bullets

I almost died crossing the street today.
I saw all the code i ever wrote pass before my eyes.

Start-ups and corporations trying new things be like:
"Why should we pay a developer or a company to develop this and this for us when we can just:
- start a competition.
- get free design mockups and code.
- decide which is better.
- reward a small prize and maybe some freebies to the competitors.
- profit. FREE CHEAP CODE AND DESIGNS!!!"

It might be the reasonable and logical thing to do from a business standpoint if its about code you need to rarely maintain..

But from an independent developer viewpoint - FUCK YOU AND THE SLOW ENSLAVEMENT OF MY SPECIE!!!

require "universe"
require "bioDan"

class ProductManager
def initialize(person_type)
@ideas = Universe.import_random_ideas({ mostly_shitty: true, association: person_type })
life_purpose
end

def life_purpose
@ideas.find_each do |idea|
bioDan.interrupt! unless bioDan.bad_mood?
bioDan.queue << idea
end
end
end

ProductManager.create "enthusiastic prick"

%x[crontab -e "0 09 * * * ruby this_script.rb > /dev/null"]

# 😥

I dont know if the algo is broken or something but i suspect @ThatDude is a machine. I see him even on every forsaken rant!

Probably a very sophisticated AI droid since his freakin' funny too..

After finishing up 70% of a feature,
Brain: "there's a better way to do it"
Me: "ok ill just change a bit of code here and there.."
-- 2 hours later --
swimming in spaghetti code..

Hah!
I just broke my record and generated (not exported or imported) the biggest SQL file!
A massive 15.7GB SQL file monster.

I hope the import will go well.

My back - for the countless hours of pain from not sitting straight.

My neck - for not letting go of my head even when it reaches 30° incline relative to my back.

Occasionally i got my badass moments at work.
But that one bachelor party in Barcelona where about 10 of my pals and I came back from a soccer match topped it all.

As we got back to our AirBnB apartment i went to the bathroom and scanned the WiFi.
I found the IP address of the bachelor's party man of honor and MITM attacked him.

So each image from any http server would automatically get swapped with a picture i took just an hour ago from the game we were at.

5 minutes later i hear the screams "OMFG WE ARE ALL ON THE NEWS GUYS!!!" and "LOOK AT SPORTS SITE X AND NEWS SITE Y!!"
The saga continued with some cheers in the beginning and some confusion, but ended when another friend rat on me..

But boy it was glorious 😂

!rant
Thinking about quitting my job and opening a bar named "foo" where the walls have a tapestry of random foo-bar code examples. (Easy conversation starter for programmers)

I had a ticket to enhance the loading of a page.

So instead of doing 40K requests to a MySQL DB in order to generate a tree and display it to to the user on each page visit, the initial query was optimized and moreover, the results are saved in a MongoDB which will then are served to the user on each page visit.

Long story short, after a code review the code got shipped to production and there was a bug which got fixed in a Hotfix shortly afterwards.

I got all the blame for the bug.
I don't deny I have a responsibility for the bug.
Do you guys think the code reviewer also has a shared responsibility for the bug?

That moment when PM writes "click on learn more" on the whiteboard, but the 'c' and 'l' are too close together and it seems like one letter 😂

The biggest code gag in JS:

typeof NaN === "number"

Suddenly i realize, the present is a constant context-switch
-- insert mond blown gif here --