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This story is 100% true.
I got hired onto a team of construction workers to build a house. We set up a meeting with Management to find out what kind of house they wanted us to build, where’s the floor plan, what it’s going to be used for, who it’s for, etc. Management said that they didn’t know all that, we should just get started. They told us that we were going to use “Agile” which means that we just work on small deliverables and build the thing incrementally.
The developer team lead argued that we at least need to know how big the thing is going to be so that we can get started pouring the foundation, but Management told him they just don’t know. “What we do know,” Management said, “is that the house is going to have a bathroom. Just start there, and we’ll know more when it’s done. You have two weeks.”
So we just bought a port-a-potty, and screwed around on the internet for two weeks. Management was outraged. “You call this a house? This is the worst house ever! It doesn’t even have a tv!”
So we bought a tv and put it in the port-a-potty, attached to an outdoor generator. We were going to buy a a dvd player and get it hooked up to cable, but Management rejected the expense request, saying that they didn’t know if we needed it, and we’d come back to that later.
Management decided that we definitely need storage space, so we bought a boxcar and duct-taped the port-a-potty to it. Then to our horror they set up some desks and put a few miserable business interns in there. It went on like this…
After a few years the boxcar grew into a huge, ramshackle complex. It floods, leaks, it’s frozen in the winter and an oven in the summer. You have to get around in a strange maze of cardboard tubes, ladders and slides. There are two equally horrible separate buildings. We’re still using just the one outdoor generator for all power, so electricity is tightly rationed.
Communication between the buildings was a problem. For one of them, we use a complex series of flag signals. For the other we write notes on paper, crumple the paper up, and toss it over. Both of these methods were suggested as jokes, but Management really liked them for some reason. The buildings mostly talk to each other but they have to talk through us, so most of what we do is pass messages on.
It was suggested that we use paper airplanes instead of crumpled up balls, but the fat, awkward fingers of the Business Majors who inevitably take those jobs couldn’t be trained to make them. I built an awesome automatic paper airplane folder, but once again they couldn’t be trained to use it, so they just went back to crumpling the notes up in balls.
The worst part of all this is that it’s working. Everyone is miserable, but the business is making money. The bright side is that this nightmare complex is done so now we know what kind of building they actually needed in the first place, so we can start work on it. Obviously we can’t tell Management anything about what we’re doing until it’s finished. They noticed the gigantic hole in the ground where the foundation is coming in, but we told them that it’s a cache reset, and they mostly ignore it except when the occasional customer falls in.
I’ll probably be out of here before the new building gets finished. I could get a 50% raise by switching jobs, but Management still doesn’t think I should get a raise because I missed a couple sprints.7 -
I recently joined the dark side - an agile consulting company (why and how is a long story). The first client I was assigned to was an international bank. The client wanted a web portal, that was at its core, just a massive web form for their users to perform data entry.
My company pitched and won the project even though they didn't have a single developer on their bench. The entire project team (including myself) was fast tracked through interviews and hired very rapidly so that they could staff the project (a fact I found out months later).
Although I had ~8 years of systems programming experience, my entire web development experience amounted to 12 weeks (a part time web dev course) just before I got hired.
I introduce to you, my team ...
Scrum Master. 12 years experience on paper.
Rote memorised the agile manifesto and scrum textbooks. He constantly went “We should do X instead of (practical thing) Y, because X is the agile way.” Easily pressured by the client to include ridiculous (real time chat in a form filling webpage), and sometimes near impossible features (undo at the keystroke level). He would just nag at the devs until someone mumbled ‘yes' just so that he would stfu and go away.
UX Designer. 3 years experience on paper ... as business analyst.
Zero professional experience in UX. Can’t use design tools like AI / photoshop. All he has is 10 weeks of UX bootcamp and a massive chip on his shoulder. The client wanted a web form, he designed a monstrosity that included several custom components that just HAD to be put in, because UX. When we asked for clarification the reply was a usually condescending “you guys don’t understand UX, just do <insert unhandled edge case>, this is intended."
Developer - PHD in his first job.
Invents programming puzzles to solve where there are none. The user story asked for a upload file button. He implemented a queue system that made use of custom metadata to detect file extensions, file size, and other attributes, so that he could determine which file to synchronously upload first.
Developer - Bootlicker. 5 years experience on paper.
He tried to ingratiate himself with the management from day 1. He also writes code I would fire interns and fail students for. His very first PR corrupted the database. The most recent one didn’t even compile.
Developer - Millennial fratboy with a business degree. 8 years experience on paper.
His entire knowledge of programming amounted to a single data structures class he took on Coursera. Claims that’s all he needs. His PRs was a single 4000+ line files, of which 3500+ failed the linter, had numerous bugs / console warnings / compile warnings, and implemented 60% of functionality requested in the user story. Also forget about getting his attention whenever one of the pretty secretaries walked by. He would leap out of his seat and waltz off to flirt.
Developer - Brooding loner. 6 years experience on paper.
His code works. It runs, in exponential time. Simply ignores you when you attempt to ask.
Developer - Agile fullstack developer extraordinaire. 8 years experience on paper.
Insists on doing the absolute minimum required in the user story, because more would be a waste. Does not believe in thinking ahead for edge conditions because it isn’t in the story. Every single PR is a hack around existing code. Sometimes he hacks a hack that was initially hacked by him. No one understands the components he maintains.
Developer - Team lead. 10 years of programming experience on paper.
Writes spaghetti code with if/else blocks nested 6 levels deep. When asked "how does this work ?”, the answer “I don’t know the details, but hey it works!”. Assigned as the team lead as he had the most experience on paper. Tries organise technical discussions during which he speaks absolute gibberish that either make no sense, or are complete misunderstandings of how our system actually works.
The last 2 guys are actually highly regarded by my company and are several pay grades above me. The rest were hired because my company was desperate to staff the project.
There are a 3 more guys I didn’t mention. The 4 of us literally carried the project. The codebase is ugly as hell because the others merge in each others crap. We have no unit tests, and It’s near impossible to start because of the quality of the code. But this junk works, and was deployed to production. Today is it actually hailed as a success story.
All these 3 guys have quit. 2 of them quit without a job. 1 found a new and better gig.
I’m still here because I need the money. There’s a tsunami of trash code waiting to fail in production, and I’m the only one left holding the fort.
Why am I surrounded by morons?
Why are these retards paid more than me?
Why are they so proud when all they produce is trash?
How on earth are they still hired?
And yeah, FML.8 -
I like how @dfox listens to suggestions and updates the app quickly.
If only our 'agile' team completed even a single task successfully without chaos.5 -
The new guy told me he doesn't want to make the code future proof as it's not agile.... Congrats goes to the management for successfully hiring as asshole...5
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Let's build a house with no blueprint, no idea how it should look but have daily meetings about the bathroom... #Scrum3
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I'm gonna have a job interview in my dream company tomorrow.
Agile, Java, an awesome atmosphere and much to learn.
I hope I will get that job.12 -
Holy shit balls it works (so far)
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So I’ve been working on a project... well feature for the past year (yes 12 whole fucking months - anti agile I know)
And today I got to merge that bitch of a pull request into the current working branch and deploy it to UAT - no conflicts 😵I think I need to put the lottery on tonight!
And some how, by some stupid lucky roll of the dice it just works.
I have never felt so afraid and delighted in my life!6 -
Feeling like I've gone back in time about 15 years!
Just told my CTO about various improvements we could make to the development process. Things like git, continuous delivery, agile project management apps such as Jira, task management such as Gulp, etc.
His response - "never heard of them. I bet they'll pass in a few months. Just another round of fads".7 -
Agile in practice.
I finished my story with 3 days left in our 2 week sprint.
Me: What story should I pull in next?
PM: Story <number> to add <new feature>
Me: ok, sounds good
PM: Will you finish it before our sprint ends?
Me: No, probably will take me 5-7 days.
PM: But it can't spill over, it will make our metrics look bad.
Me: I can't finish it in 3 days.
PM: ....
Me: Can't you just explain the spillover as us working ahead?
PM: It will look bad on our <automated-report>
Me: ....
Me: So don't want me to get started on <new feature>?
PM: ....
Me: <internally sighing> What do you want me to do?
PM: Maybe you can pair program with <Overpaid-Idiot-Programmer> to help finish their story
Me: ....
Me: feelsbadman.jpg14 -
I was taught from waterfall process model to Agile development..
But no one taught me this real software development process..
1 -
Me: Hey Guys we've been working on this application(project 1) for 4 months and i think we're almost done.
Owner of Company(Not My Boss): CooCook4Choo we moving you to project 2, forget about the previous one.
2 months go by, project is completed.
Boss: I've got another project for you
Me: Awesome!
1 month later...
PM: We're moving you back to project 1
Me: Why?
PM: Our senior dev resigned, we only have junior Devs and we need a lot of help before deployment next month.
Me: Why am i moving back to a project i was taken off of
PM: Where an agile company and you will be moved off many projects
Me: **Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!* Ok i'll need documentation of everything that happened in the past three months, the current issue, what the current sprint revolves around and A demo of what has been added.
PM: Relax, I've got a lot of work myself, you will get them soon.
2 days later, still don't have what i need, PM is on vacation.
Me: Guess i don't have any work to do.3 -
Is anyone getting any actual value out of them? As much as I dig agile some of the rituals plain just don’t work.
Fight me!
13 -
The next big trend will be in the area of project management:
The Waterfall™
Agile has been abused to the point where The Waterfall™ is way more agile! Think about it: It's straight down. No loops, no unnecessary hourly, daily, weekly meetings. No micromanaging. Just one flow. It starts at the top and it's all downhill from there.
Pure efficiency!
Edit: Wake up developers! The management doesn't want you to know this simple efficiency trick!9 -
This is what Daily Standups turn into when a hard baked Waterfall team is forced to adopt Agile... and the Manager is made the SMaster! 😳☹️😫😭
6 -
I can understand (to a point) when non-devs use meaningless tech "buzzwords", but please, as developers, can we just agree not to spout nonsense?!
"Electron is so amazing, it's such a lightweight framework!"
"Django is incredible, it's so agile!"
Agile is a family of development methodologies, and Electron is about as heavyweight as a desktop application can possibly get...10 -
I can assure you there's nothing agile about an all day meeting that definitely doesn't require every dev to be there. Industry is weird.3
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No, I do not wish to work on your Scrum-managed project.
I do not wish to contribute to the Taylorism of my profession.
I do not wish to be an interchangeable cog in your software sausage machine.
I do not wish to be tracked by some pointless metrics like a call-centre worker.
I do not wish to bust my tight, cute ass to sprint after some idiotic management request that could have been factored in earlier.
I do not wish to obtain some piss-ant qualification that "authorises" me to do my job.
I do not wish to be party to your lie that technical debt will be avoided by refactoring---whatever the cost.
I do not wish to contribute to the death of software engineering to have it replaced by software development.
Agile? Sure. I can pick up the phone and talk to the client, users and fellow devs. After all, that's what it FUCKING MEANS. Communi-fucking-cation.
See that burndown chart? See your anus? Know what's happening next?
Fuck Scrum and every fucking bottom-feeder that is scamming a living by promoting it. You're killing this business.
Hugs and kisses,
Platypus15 -
When you move from one "agile" company to a truly agile company. Wow. Productivity has gone through the roof!2
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"A well defined problem is a problem half solved."
~ Charles Kettering.
Feel like crying on hearing this when the product feature requirements change in so aGiLe way.3 -
My coworker is sick so according to "Agile" I need to work on the weekend?
Literally go fuck yourself. This shit doesn't fly in literally any industry but this.17 -
Worst dev advice?
Mgr: "Stop trying to use that agile shit for your projects. Waterfall is the only way proper application development is done."3 -
Management said "we are agile"...now they ordered us to do changes in production server in daylight...I'm seriously think said FRAGILE...3
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team is hiring interns and one candidate put “googling” on their resume as a skill - appreciate the honesty7
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I hate all of the people that think "agile" means "do everything at the same time, with no cost". Or, other fuckwits, think that "agile" means "fuck plans, dev team will figure something out".
Both of these types apparently did not read any publication about the subject.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!7 -
Looking at one particular job ad
“Experience with agile”
“Excellent knowledge of agile frameworks”
“Work with agile software development team”
Basically in the first few paragraphs it mentions agile about 10 times.
Then the first bullet point in the essential column
“Must have experience working to tight deadlines”
D’oh3 -
Client: we are using Scrum. Next week we have sprint review organized by the project manager.
Me: it’s not Scrum.
Client: in the next sprint we work on a mockup not releasable in production.
Me: it’s not Scrum.
Client: sprint backlog is changed again, at the end we must do everything that is written in the contract with that fixed amount of money.
Me: definitely not Scrum.
Client: we are using Scrum.
Me: Ok.1 -
Delivering next 6 month’s product roadmap to CEO, other directors and senior management.
I know it’s all going to change.
They know it’s all going to change.
I know they know.
They know I know.
No words are spoken. -
Today I make a big progress in agile development.
You don't say fuck you. You say your request is in the back log.
😎 -
Agile: ✅
Agile practices: ✅
Certified Agile practitioners: ❌😡 powerpoint jockeys 👺💥⚡️failed programmers 💩 timewasting idiots 😥 -
I just joined devrants and starting my rant here with a dig at the Project Managers I have worked with.
4 -
I fucking hate estimating time.
I appreciate that agile is better than any planning type before it, but HOLY SHIT is estimating time a fool's game.
I've been at this over a decade now and I'm still like.. 50% accurate at best. The complicated shit is seldom obvious, and usually if I think something will be complicated it ends up being very simple once I dig in.7 -
Attendance at the daily standup [related to a project that hasn't even started yet] is mandatory!
What did you work on yesterday?
An unrelated project.
What are you working on today?
An unrelated project.
What are you working on for the next 3-6 months?
You guessed it: An unrelated project.
Any blockers?
This is interfering with an unrelated project, but when Agile says "jump", you say "how high?"!4 -
New PM thinks it's a great idea to start micromanaging my team's (private) repo names. Can't wait to hear his opinions on our class and variable names! 😭3
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Please tell me something wrong with me, and whole world is working like that! It can't be right! Or could it, and I'm just one sad fuck who don't know shit?
So... We've got:
1. Jira reporting (agile style with cards and shit)
2. Task timers (via application integrated to Jira in order to count how much time we spent on a task)
3. End of the day email reporting with description of what we have done today (Jira is not enough?)
4. Daily morning meetings with a team leader to report what we're gonna do today
5. Git merge code reviews for each finished component (that lasts for hours)
6. Weekly status meetings
7. Working hours reporting with a fucking fingerprint
And on top of all of that, the developer is the one who just writes the code - team leader decides how this code is gonna look, what will be written first and what last, what libraries will be used and so on...8 -
Every piece of work I have to do is blocked, waiting on someone else pulling their finger out. 2 days now, and no progress no matter how much I chase. Bored!7
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I'm a developer with scrum master certification but the company wanted me to use their existing google spreadsheet for managing the tasks of 60 developers. I study agile for nothing. Kill me now please. I'm out.5
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I: Do you have any questions for us?
Me: How do you maintain an AGILE development team?
I: Have you heard of TRELLO
triGGERRED5 -
Agile Coach: you need to take part in the next quarter planning of the work. Work with your business team to create a healthy backlog. Provide your input to the user stories. It’s a collective effort.
Me: why tf it’s not a collective effort when code breaks and only one dev is trying to fix it while taking in all the heat.
Of course I can’t say that out loud without getting fired.4 -
I got moved to a new team. My old team was truly agile, and my manager was very "off hands" and actually let us work.
My new team is an older team that practices a bloated abomination called SAFe Agile, and the manager gets into all the details to the point of removing autonomy.
Shoot me please.
Paradise lost. -
This is my first time experiencing agile development with its daily scrum meets, and I hate it already.2
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When an application has tons of security holes and fixes never make it into sprint prioritization because "they're not new features"4
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Gotta love product owners that don't seem to understand agile.
We delivered the set number of items in the sprint we committed to plus a little extra polish. During the last day of the sprint we're spending the time to push all our work to UAT do he can actually perform acceptance testing...
He decides he should chase all of us up on stuff that we never commited to or even mentioned we'd touch.
Had to explain it to him at least 5 times during the day.3 -
Trying to be agile and employ modern best practices in a decades old traditional super-corp.
I feel like head butting a large nail1 -
I only wish that my agile team comes up with the task breakup and documents the implementation approach to our project, as good as this kid did, while panning for a party!
img source: reddit
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Rant time of 'Derp & Co.'
Today I decided that I am going to find another job, I just can't keep with this shit.
They said that use Agile: FALSE.
• Daily (best scenario) take like 1 hour and a half.
• New task enter the sprint and "Fuck you, more task in the same time". This is something regular done.
• "Oh, dev, we need you to check this other project" I am in the middle of my sprint on this project. "But you have to fix this bug here". (3 fucking days the bloody bug) "You are late again with tasks".
• Meeting for fresh sprint: 6 BLOODY hours... nonstop
The workflow is garbage:
• SOMEONE should did all the devops shit on the first sprint, guess what? They did nothing!, guess now who is being blamed for it (not only me, but a few coworkers).
• Nothing is well designed/defined:
~ task are explained like shit
~ times measured wrongly
~ We are in the last fucking SPRINT and still doing de ER of the DataBase cause Oh, apparently no one has work before with SQL (damn you MongoDB! (Not really)) so I am doing my best, but "jezz dev, this is so hard... maybe we can do it WRONG and easy".
~ No one is capable of take responsability of their mess, they just try to push down the problems. (Remember the devops situatuion? Why is.my fault? I came at the 3 or 4 sprint and I am doing backend tasks, I know nothing about devops).
But the big prize, the last one:
• Apparently you can't send whatever you want to the boss, it has to pass a filter previously of coordinators and managers, hell yeah!
And I am an idiot too!
because I see that we can't reach our schedule and do hours on my spare time!
This is because there are a few good coworkers who probably ended with my unfinished tasks... and they are equaly fucked as me...
This is just the tip of the iceberg. I am not a pro, I am not a full stack developer and still need to learn a lot, but this is just not normal, eight months like this...3 -
Two months of meaningless meetings and calls to assess "requirements" and three months worth of actual development work crammed into 3 weeks. Fuck this corporate bs. Agile my ass.
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Some people are really getting high on this Agile shit. Probably because they learned some new bullshit bingo phrases - and it suits them: lots of vapory talk and expensive meetings and others will have to do the work anyway, while they can circlejerk on how to have shorter iterations to improve the time to market, increase the business value, inspect and adapt to faster deliver a minimal viable product - yeah, do the agile transformation, update to the digital age, you noobs. Throwing around some catchy phrases will let you compete with Google? Maybe need some blockchain or machine learning?
While you are clustering your post its, the coders who keep the ship afloat, sit in their legacy code base that's so bitrot they are mainly doing bugfix releases without a single feature for three fucking years. Consider this.5 -
In "Sprint Planning", the team is supposed to come up with stories, break those down into tasks, estimate those tasks as a team, then let devs choose what tasks they want to work on based on the stories pulled into that particular sprint.
Instead, our manager creates the stories. He assigns the stories to each developer and then has that developer announce his theoretical tasks (without any research on feature's or project's requirements!) in front of the entire team. So, when I say, "I think it will take me 6 hours to implement this feature", he says, "6 hours? I think it will take 3." and then types the estimate as 3. I have so much rage when that happens. Then we continue to sit in the room for 2.5 hours where we go through this long data entry mess of him typing out tasks and second guessing estimates. There is no team deliberation or collaboration, its whatever the manager says.
While there are many issues I take with this approach, my pet peeve would be the second guessing of the estimates. It would make sense for teams members to second guess estimates as long as they are the same teammates who have the ability and possibility to take on the tasks themselves.
But I disagree with a manager seconding guessing an implementation feature that "I" definitely have to do alone, and they do not possess the immediate knowledge to implement it themselves.5 -
We have “adopted” Agile as our development process. Now I will be honest that I don’t know everything about Agile because I am very new to developing things in a professional setting. But the person who has been the advocate of Agile always starts his sentences with: “Whatever I have read about Agile..”
You can understand why I don’t get a good feeling/confidence regarding this adoption strategy. Things haven’t changed, just the presence of words like “DevOps”, “Agile”, etc has increased in the morning meetings.10 -
Broken teams,
define Agile principles in 2 lines :
Take 2X to your velocity,
and work 80hours a week ;)3 -
My creative director is now the PM. He open thw meeting and said "There is this thing. It's good for development. It has got meeting and tools. It's called agile."1
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I proposed agile training to my company.
I choose a well known coach around here, with good references.
First 3 days were great. After a month he came back for another session and check progress.
This time, he literally fell asleep during the workshop. Several times. He would ask questions, sit down and quietly fall asleep while waiting for our answers.
We were astonished and embarrassed.
He apparently had a very hard working period and could not cope with traveling and working so much. He apologized some day afterwards and didn't charge us for the day.
He never came back. The team didn't take it very well and my reputation was compromised, as well as trust in the methodology I think.
I kept saying that everybody can have a bad day, but it was probably just to defend myself and my fucking stupid idea of changing the world.
A real fucking shame. Still I can't believe when I remember this.2 -
Haha, today I learnt that agile doesn't just stop in the enterprise with SAFe (Scaled Agile Framework), management has continued the theme in my new company with Lean-Agile Center of Excellence (LACE) and Agile Release Trains (ARTs).
Software development in 2021...9 -
What are your thoughts on working for a company that give their devs jira tickets that don't have any descriptions? I work for a big organisation (It's actually in the top 3 biggest companies in the country I live in) and I work in a team that has quite possibly the worst agile practice I've ever seen. We get tickets without any descriptions at all. The worst bit is then we get pressure from project management for not delivering things on time. Do they actually realise how difficult it is to deliver something without any business requirements? I have to have a million meetings before I even know wtf the ticket is about. It's incredibly annoying.13
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One Pro Tip for all developers :
(in my experience - a short story)
Our team chose agile development. We have items to deliver each sprint.
I was the guy who would always slip in my tasks due to issues that would pop up.
It was due to my own faults, I was less careful and failed to concentrate on one single item when I was working.
I started slipping a lot and my manager started questioning me on my performance. I tried a lot of productivity apps and other methods. Nothing seemed to change my life.
One day, An experienced person in the team said to me,
"Start Going to the gym" and it'll change everything.
I enrolled to the nearest gym and started working out every morning. Had sore arms /legs in the first few days. Nothing seemed to change.
After one week, my work patterns changed. I automatically started to work with a lot of concentration. I still don't know how things changed.
After 2 weeks, everything was completely different.
I was able to complete my sprint tasks in the first few days and started contributing to others work. Got a lot of recognition. My work was recognized a lot and my manager appreciated me.
So this is a real life changer folks.
"start hitting the GYM", and it'll change your life.
Please try it out and tell me how your work patterns change.3 -
You know what's fun? When your client insists you use an agile process with a delivery at the end of each sprint, then proceeds to bitch at each release at the features that weren't implemented yet. The thing isn't even slated to be done until 4Q 2018 and is on schedule/early. Glad I am not on that team . . . yet.
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Agile development of a decentralised AI, using a neural network based on Blockchain technology for big data.
Is that enough buzzwords to make an employer happy? :p2 -
I love adding documentation in a sprint and then it prevents us from releasing a product because someone did not finish the story. *doing Agile wrong*
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That moment when agile means "I will sneak in new feature requirements in with your bug tickets even though our sprint is supposed to be only stabilization". Thanks PM Lord.
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Since I started working at my current job, I've been growing to admire agile development more and more (or the ideal at least) to the point where I manage my LIFE with an agile perspective now!
It honestly works so well! 😁3 -
I'm a tech lead for a new agile project for a manager who knows nothing about agile. Having to work on a chart that shows exactly how many sprints each milestone will be and when it will complete for like, 17 sprints from now when requirements aren't even set. Wtf?7
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Ok, so we have the Spotify Agile Model now (tribes, squads, chapters, etc). I have seen it implemented in a few large companies, and they seem to be doing ok.
It's just... doesn't anyone worry about the product that came out of this great way of working?
Spotify is great as a service, but it has to have one of the worst usability/success ratios of any modern mobile / web app. You can almost feel the various squads doing their own thing, not thinking about the whole experience.
Doesn't the product count when considering using someone's way of working? Is the Spotify Agile Model the project management equivalent of Twitter's Bootstrap?5 -
Our agile scrum team has finally shattered into two parts.
On the one hand we have front-end guys.
On the other hand we have backend- /dev-ops guys.
The FE guys don't care about the BE guys business.
They don't join pairworking and only noticing things that went bad, when a Backend guy has caused it.
Goodbye fullstack dev-ops team...
I really dislike that arrogant basterds.
Frontend Hobo-Bitches...! -
Is there anyone else who works at a company that takes longer to plan sprints than the actual sprints?2
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Why is it most companies think being “agile” simply means “let’s say we do work in two week blocks” but without planning or showcases or reviews, without estimations, with ad-hoc tasks inserted continually, priorities changing, tasks moving to the next “sprint” over and over …
But yes, these companies proclaim they are “agile” and do “two week sprints” when it is nothing more than chaos and rhetoric.6 -
Luckily I don't work at a place like this anymore, but I sure hate it when a company touts that they are an effective company who has implemented agile "the right way", then when they describe their process in detail, it is almost exactly the opposite of what agile is supposed to be.
I've worked for a couple places that just couldn't get their head around the fact that one of the reasons agile exists is because estimating software is hard, and only after doing agile the real right way for an extended period of time can a company expect to have realistic estimates. The business can't go a week without hard deadlines.2 -
As I am now in a leading position in the middle of a agile transition:
has anyone got a source for a project done completely with user stories?
I am searching a real life example with already finished stories an active backlog and a documentation.
I just can't wrap my head around it. When and what do you document? In which Form do you document? How are you writing user stories with more content like diagrams and such?
(we use jira and confluence but just started with stories)
I read some articles on the topic and watched some talks but sill don't get the picture.8 -
What i be like when the project manager insist on estimating a full project instead of working in an agile way...
2 -
My boss thinks we're "Agile" because we spend 30 minutes every day talking about what we did, what we're doing and discussing every single imaginable outcome of life.1
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Agile is a fancy word for we, the top Dawgs can change the requirements at any time and you dev peasants will have to deal with it.5
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Agile my ass.
What has become of: "Individuals and interactions over processes and tools"?
A fuckton of rules and processes to do it the 'right' way: tickets, estimations, hours of sprint planning. Yeah, we're so professional we no longer have time to write code.
Note: manifest was mainly full of fluffy business buzzword bullshit (effective sustainable excellence), but one thing resonated:
>Simplicity--the art of maximizing the amount of work not done--is essential.
(I cherish every line of code deleted or unwritten, so it needn't be maintained)4 -
I don't like Agile so much. Things are always rushed and you rarely ever have 30 minutes to discuss something in depth, not even in the retrospective meeting. Team mates too busy to discuss concerns. Sigh.13
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Newbie Agile Team: "Hi Scrum Coach, we studied and implemented the Scrum methodology, but we are late as before and our software is buggy and shitty as ever, how is that?"
Agile Coach: "Scrum Methodology is easy to learn, but difficult to master!"
Newbie Agile Team (chorus): "Oh coach, Fuck yourself daily, with your coffe thermos, standing up and once per week retrospectively. If you'll come at the next review meeting, we will gangbang your ass in front of the stakeholders"5 -
Reminder, include legal language in next project that says if we're using JIRA then we're using JIRA and not a thousand emails with requirements embedded in spreadsheets and PowerPoints.
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Did you know “Agile” actually means “Never change code”?
Neither did I until I started working here haha help me9 -
My boss uses agile development so he doesn't has to think about use cases he wants to be covered by the application.
He's just throwing in a "design" (an image that is probably created with Paint) without any further specifications and inconsistent elements, let the developer work two days on it, see the outcome, complains why it's not how he wanted it to be and then starts thinking how the feature should be integrated in the app and notices that his "requirements" from the image could not provide any advantage or usage at all for the user of the application. Asking for clarification before starting to work just leads to spongy statements or silence when he notices that he didn't think through to the end.
Sad is that this has not happened only once but is usually the way a new feature is developed...1 -
Any dev who is asked to give “deadlines” then cried about how it’s “waterfall” and you cannot produce business requirement deadlines in agile methodology needs to stop being dependent on terminology and learn that part of programming is proper estimation.
Milestones, business deadlines and agile can go-exist. Anyone who says they don’t, then cries “waterfall” when asked to produce deadlines greater than 4 weeks out, please never work with me11 -
The team in our office was forced to have, and I'm not kidding, TWO hours long agile meetings EVERY day. That's right, only 6 hours a day for work. Crazy managers
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Agile coach Agiling: We shouldn't need code reviews as long as there is pair programming.
Me Internally: bad code + bad code doesn't make good code :( -
You know you're doing enterprise style agile when every two weeks requires a 20 person four hour meeting to go over what was actually implemented in the spring2
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Agile/Scrum is the worst project management style in software development.
Rather than focusing on delivering a feature or changes on the project, everyday there is always a meeting that you need to attend to, other than the daily huddle. And those meetings are none of your concern or why they needed you there
And my Product Owner and Scrum Master does not know even though how software development cycle works. When you discuss technical details or constraint to them, they either look confused or don’t know what to say and just say “If you need anything, always communicate or approach me” even you already told them the issue.
Or maybe we are doing it wrong. But it is been 5 years when they implement this Agile/Scrum and we are still bad at it.
Just ranting4 -
"agile" teams, changing scope, unrealistic deadlines, non-tech PMs...
So much fits into this category.2 -
Anyone else here suffering under a tech lead who instead functions as a business analyst and ignores their dev process in favor of stakeholder demands?
Case in point: our tech lead actually said in our latest retrospective (yes, we're running on Agile) that we should align our schedule to business. So wtf are we even doing Agile sprints for effs sake (this we did not say for fear of losing our jobs) -
Used to be a fan of agile and the wisdom of the crowd, but now I’m not so sure. If the team majority aren’t experienced then the experienced people make suggestions are voted down.
I’m fast becoming anti-agile now7 -
Doing GUI agile testing with the QA before passing my code to test server. I do this 'cause the QA marked in the past a lot of bugs that aren't bugs because he didn't liked the wording (in spanish there's A LOT of ways to say the same thing), the color of a button or an icon, and this delayed the release of the code a lot of times. So, this way I can change things to avoid unnecessary bugs... if the QA is not so busy XD
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"Standup" meetings are based on the assumption that standing up gets uncomfortable after a while. In our team however, the meetings are not getting any briefer, we are just getting fitter. Perhaps we should introduce some more uncomfortable position, such as jump-up-and-down daily scrums, or yoga daily scrums.5
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Management: let's be agile... we can all meet and discuss a project that will take more than likely 6 - 12 months but you guys can estimate and create a road map....
Engineer: I'm not sure you understand agile3 -
Anyone ever been in the situation where the"Agile Project Manager" is the last agile person in the room1
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Trying to understand why do I have a course on Software Engineering which consists 80% of lectures on what Agile and Scrum mean.
Why can't we get to implement a project and work on agile as we go? 😐😣7 -
I was brought into my new position as part of an transformation of waterfall to agile methodology.
We are now running 4 while projects and need to restart the remaining 29 projects using agile principles. The business management type people love agile, but somehow the people inside the current waterfall practices doesn't.
They are afraid their silo work will either expand or not exist thus making it hard to transform the company. Also the company have been subjected to the dead sea effect.
Therfore, the project that is currently in the space of transformation is making my blood boil because people just ain't passionate enough about software.
Either you craft software, or, well you sit and suckle other's money. People suckling should please grow up and start venturing beyond there cozy 9 to 5 and transform to be a professional software doer rather than a BA, DEV, IT GUY.
YOU BASTARDS GET A SHITLOAD OF MONEY AND DON'T DESERVE IT FOR THE EFFORT YOU BRING.
It is your software, own it, be proud of it. Read up to make it better. And as always, the people debugging your code can be a violent psychopath -
Innovation week is upon us! Rejoice and delve into the years of tech debt to be refactored within one week!
Why does anyone pitch "innovation week" as a fun learning experience when a we are doing is cleaning under the rugs? We can barely get typical feature requests out the door in a week due to the overbearing demands of SAFe and Agile ceremonies.
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Why does every fucking agile presentation have to have those dumb, meaningless white stick figures in meaningless positions that only serve to fill up whitespace5
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8 months into a complex Agile project, managing multiple Scrum teams -
I still feel it would go much faster if I just do it myself.1 -
Scream, the agile framework for when scrum would require too much change.
https://docs.google.com/document/u/... -
So my team (read: not the team at all) has decided that we are going to scrum. Someone ease tell me it's not as fucking tedious as it sounds. Sounds like it's just more meetings. Especially on this team which is actually already pretty agile. And the way our "certified scrum master" describes the retrospective sounds like it was designed by the type of shitlord PM that forces everyone to wear ugly t-shirts to the mandatory company barbecue for "team building". Please tell me he's just a terrible salesman.7
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I need a new girlfriend
Because my old girlfriend is ddr3 and corei3, she is very lazy
I need an agile
(may be i need a true girlfriend)9 -
I've lost sight of the minimum viable product. I've spent months making a product I have to redesign now.
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We're an agile company - we follow agile principles. Why is it that I've spent the past week doing documentation then!!!1
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The worst of Agile and Sc(r)um: All those people knowing the right way(™) to do it. Endless discussion about useless tooling: the proper use of the custom workflow in Jira, on when and how to create sub tickets. The hour-less meta-discussions on what should be discussed where and when (what's subject of the backlog refinement, retro, etc), the roles: the PO's, what he should do, cannot, the PM's. Who is allowed to pull a ticket to the sprint or not. How many reviewers need to acknowledge a pull request. To and fro. Pointless, but fought with heart and blood, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
And everywhere I hear: "In my previous company, we did Scrum like.. and it worked perfectly!"
Some of you might remember my rants on Mr. Gitmaster, with whom I thought I'd made my peace. Guess what? He's now a team member and turning into Mr. Agile - a more severe reincarnation! As our company starts flogging that dead horse of Agility, he seems to feel strong tailwind. Our team lead would constantly cut his monologues, but he's now on holiday, so we have no escape from the never ending: "In my previous company..."
If it was so great, why didn't you stay?
We are not allowed to pull a ticket to the sprint unless every team member is notified? I don't fucking care. If our software fails on customer's machines and I can fix it, I will do if there is a ticket, if it's in the sprint or not. Screw Scrum, if it is getting in the way of it. You can waste your hours discussing horseshit, I want to sit at my desk, deep in the test-compile loop and ship some fucking code.2 -
I'm not political - but Agile sprints remind me of Soviet/Maoist "five year plans". Agile in and of itself is so fucking oddly soviet...6
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Agile Product Owner: How long do you think this task will take?
Me: Probably 13 points.
APO: That is too many can you break it down into separate tasks?
Me: Sure its probably an 8 and an 8. Since i need to work on them sequentially and one depends on the other, the second task will take longer if i need to make changes after the first one is merged.
~ Turned 104 (8 tasks * 13) points into 128 (16 tasks * 8 points) points.
A 13 represents a whole 2 week sprint.
An 8 represents a week and a half.
We cannot fit 2 8 point tasks in the same sprint, so now it takes 2 whole sprints to complete 2, 8 point tasks.
We have no smaller tickets so we don't work for the rest of the sprint.
Anyone else been here?6 -
If you're always too busy doing the wrong things the wrong way, you will never have time time to do things right
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My company misses the word agile so much, now we are deploying 3-4 times to prod in a day 🤦🏽♂️🤷🏽♂️5
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We have decent linting on our codebase which covers off code quality and style.
We also have a developer who insists on making code reviews about formatting and spacing rather than functionality even tho we've tried in multiple ways to say:
- our linting covers it, if that's happy we should be (and the rest of the team is)
- it's a waste of time doing it
- it wastes the time of the team reading it
- the noise it generates makes it hard to see any legit comments
I swear to god if I see another comment saying "new line" i will scream. -
I really want my dev team to ask me to go to happy hour so I can suggest meeting at Foo Bar. Though, that may be why no one's asked..3
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I'm absolutely fuming why on earth would someone try to apply exactly all rules of a theoretical concept. I hate those so called "scrum masters". We can't apply all rules of agile we're not machines. There's real life and theory.1
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I had a gentleman tell me I was overqualified, and then proceed to ask me for help with Agile software (jira)! 😂 I gave him my card!
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So... My friend got Agile Carpet Development.
And this is the example of one being fixed on the fly.
3 -
Just a reminder guys especially who do agile(scrum). TEAMS SHOULD BE HIGHLY ALIGNED BUT LOOSELY COUPLED!5
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Coding the board software for a car while you drive it at 120 kmph can be called agile programming?1
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The company i work for is getting into scrum. Hired consultants, product owners and scrum masters. First action was 'lets spend 2 days in meetings estimating the rest of the project'.
Agile as fuck3 -
Is there a team that works truly productive and happy via an agile (scrum) workflow?
Or does it always distill down to an excuse for a chaotic workflow?
My experience and cynic nature has let me to assume the latter.
(That being said, I never had a dedicated scrum master to work with. So that may be the first of many problems.)4 -
Our team moved to scrum a while back. But everybody still does story point estimation by mentally assigning 1 story point for each day of work it would require. :/
On top of that, management compares the performance of two *different* scrum teams based on the story points they finish in a sprint. :// -
It's done. Agile has taken over my life. The other day I looked outside and thought, "As a user, I can stand on my lawn without my feet disappearing." And that's how I decided to mow my lawn.
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What is your opinion on Agile?
I was studying through my textbook for a test tomorrow and the Agile Philosophy section sounded like a Team Rocket manifesto at some parts:
Responding to change over following a plan
Individuals and Interactions over processes and tooks
Working software over comprehensive documentation
Customer collaboration over contract negotiation.4 -
I’m still waiting for Agile to just go away, it is the reason devs burn out and have miserable working lives. I started my career just before it got a hold and I remember those days being great - going to work was actually my hobby.
The worst places I’ve worked had strict Agile practices, the best has had the most loose.
Just go away already, Agile! You make so many devs lives miserable.10 -
To give you some context, in the past year we have change managers 3 times. Obviously our process (we were trying to follow agile) has suffer the most with all these changes since it seems the managers that have been assigned to us are not really IT people.
We are using TFS (I know...) for our builds and for our scrum and kanban boards, only use developers and QA are really using the board and all the benefits that it provides and the managers are oblivious to what TFS is. I have tried offering them training and workshops but they just don't want to learn.
And now they want us to keep the requirement information on word documents and Excel instead. I'm not sure I can continue my battle against Word/Excel...
I understand they are valuable tools but... Is it really difficult to use a tool that was made specifically for that and it's as easy as filling some text fields and click a button? Why is it so hard to understand that if you want to know the status of a task is as simple as following a link where you can find all the related information?
I think I'm loosing it, even the other developer on my team is in support of using Word... of course the guy doesn't know agile and his cards on the board are shit making him work with QA all the time....
Feel like I'm alone here....4 -
I really hate all kinds of tattle that sweeps the hallways of corporations, the gossip behind one's back, BUT this colleague of mine starts pissing me off. Recently joined that team where he should support us getting the Agile thing going. And he can go on for hours of how it should go and how flawlessly it worked in his previous company - all that needless meta talk - so much that a team member jokingly even said: yeah, shut up asshole. But he is all talk. When the name of a library was dropped his experience in using it went to upstream patches. His Linux experience lets us speechless. He is so convincing, I'm even doubting my accusations. Yet his only contribution in code wouldn't show and other team member wasted hours upon hours to recompile plugins to show that shit. Man, just leave us alone watching your youtube live-streams so we can get the shit done.
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New bossman is looking for KPIs.
We're an agile team who build a back end system for a large corporation. Specifically the system we build is used by the sales guys when they are putting through a sale. I have no idea where to start with KPIs.
Can't measure number of sales as that's down to the salesmen. Can't measure speed of sale as again that's down to the salesman and how much they chat.
Any ideas?8 -
I hate project managers trying to stay relevant to a agile development methodology. Our PM doesn't care if we are working and providing value to the customer, only about checking off his Project check boxes.
tech lead CANCELS Monday stand-up becuase they cannot attend. and I work and status and update my tasks in or virtual task board. I forget to send a message mentioning I'll be kissing Tuesday standup. Then he sends me emails like the following sent to me, my manager, and my tech lead: "please remember to notify your team if you cannot attend the standup, and to send an agile status to the team. This is something that is required and not optional. We are trying to firm up all stories and tasks and need to hear a status. We are in week 1 of iteration 4.3. Thanks."
I'm coding and delivering value to the customer. Wtf are you doing dude? -
I'm at that point where I want to lash out at our team for not finishing a sprint. I've been doing the scrum master/dev role for months now and each sprint is incomplete since we have started the agile way.
Most of my team members are seasoned senior devs and my team's downfall are caused by not acting as a team. I'm the youngest in the team and have been acting as a babysitter for them.3 -
PM, we are going to go to an agile methodology for working. (despite PM having never done agile, and most of the team having never done agile) But we will have 4 week sprints, as 2 week sprints are too short. We are going to have daily stand ups, oh but we'll only have then once a week... And we will keep the 3 hour mid week meeting. Oh and we'll keep our existing JIRA, but you also need to use *new* JIRA as well, but that's going to the customer so don't post bugs on it.... (all with a ln important delivery in a few months) The suggestion of getting an adviser (either internal or external) who has experience with agile to help us transition smoothly and provide best practice got shot down. feels like the blind leading the blind...2
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Is anyone’s team here fully Agile and how has that been so far? My team is currently in sprint 0 and I’m already tired of the meetings.24
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Can anyone freaking tell me that Agile is still relevant and yet one of the most hated approach??
I'm freaking confused.5 -
When agile is everywhere (including toilets). Do you want me to poop in agile way? 💩💩
What can be the agile way of shitting?
2 -
I'm about to start as junior programmer. I'm taking a course which includes Scrum, where the teacher said '99.9 % of IT uses agile'.
That can't be right, right?!?
Or am I just being pessimistic? Can I get some estimates from the pro world, i.e. you?9 -
Sometimes a poorly planned project makes coding a lot harder especially if features and UI/UX always changes 😭
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So, our project is making the transition to the cutting edge Agile methodology (hello, 2005 called).
From what I see, I'm starting to believe that we're also changing our target from delieverin software to deleivering meeting botes and meeting preparation docs.6 -
True story: We had once a project where the manager tells the client we are using the Waterfall but internally the devs are actually doing Agile. >_<1
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"We follow the AGILE methodology."
A fancy way to say :
- We mostly work on tight deadlines.
- We will come with last second changes.
- We have little/no overtime payement policies.
- We will ask you to do basically anything even if you said explicitly that you don't know how to do it.2 -
The customer wants to drop Agile in favor of their in-house development methodology. They just sent an e-mail describing it...
I think my team needs a room decorated with cotton flowers and small huts to get into the right mindset.1 -
Waterfall.
I string dislike the waterfall methodology and much prefer agile or scrum. And it's incredibly difficult that upper management only understands waterfall while claiming to know agile.
Meanwhile they want things completed by deadlines that are only possible with an agile approach. So you have a mishmash of upper management running waterfall with impossible deadlines and developers trying to meet those deadlines running in agile.
Anyone else have this problem? -
CS teacher: "I want you to do this project using DSDM. Every member needs to be appointed a role that is best suited to their abilities."
He has never heard of Agile.1 -
As a Software Engineer
I want agile bros to fucking understand the amount (scope) of work their stupid user stories contain. So that I don't have to rant about it and go back and forth between 10k people to figure out what the fuck they want.4 -
ITS FRIDAY!!!!!! such a long week..... fcking prod issue and new (anti) agile process team wants to implement2
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Ha! There's nothing like listening to a couple of crotchety devs talking shit about agile for half an hour, just to have a junior dev bust into the room and frantically exclaim "we have to start over from scratch again!" Apparently, someone didnt fully understand the requirements... 😉1
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Lead dev asks me to take on the restful api aspect to a new internal tool UI I have been building. Happy for the challenge, I spend the 4 days (half of that in my own time), writing out 1k lines of C# that I endeavoured to keep clean, thoroughly decoupled and something I can be proud of.
I give regular updates.
This morning he responds to my last update “we already have most of that code in place”.
This stuff happens a lot. Back of a fagpacket planning and then cries all around when it INVARIABLY goes wrong.
Does this kind of bullshit happen in a properly organised, Agile team? We are about to take on a huge project and frankly I want to save myself the ballache and go find a well oiled team if what I am witnessing isnt just how things are in software land, but as I rather suspect a product of lack of communication and organisation.1 -
Changing instances to arrays. So we've all had this issue:
Option 1 was the most flexible and abstract option where a lot of functionality could be built on this.
Option 2 was the fastest solution, that would solve only specific problems.
The whole Agile philosophy points to option 2. The problem is that clients will always want to add that functionality in option 1, and changing requirements makes us lose time, the precious resource that managers supposedly cherish, yet they always want us to choose the fast option.
We're at that point where the client wants to add functionalities, but since we already built with the previous requirements in mind. Ugh.
Changing instances to arrays.1 -
I'm a scrum sprinter using my agile-ity to dodge rock-rigid waterfalls.
My take at another lame joke.
But I still have my legs and can walk... -
I finally found out what is agile: You get assigned to a ptoject with fixed estimations of the tasks, but you have 30 minutes daylies in which you get micromanaged to do more work. The added AI blockchain value is that these dailies count as dev time for you, while for others it counts as TL, PL, PM, PC, Front office time.
And now for final deep learning, inovative, DevOps, java, javascript cutting edge, bleeding edge business aspect.... THIS IS A FUCKING SOLO PRoJECT!!!1 -
I spent 2 hours in an agile workshop with the "I do not think it means, what you think it means" guy.
When finished I could swear that if you asked the people what is agile, they would start crying. -
Today, I found a bad bug. I fixed it and tried to understand what happened there. Story description was ok, dev was done on time, review performed (1/3 of the time needed to developed), testers were happy: story was DONE.
I feel uneasy as all protocols had been respected, and still, the code was bad and features were broken :( -
Community Question:
I'm on a lone-project for work. That means I have to make a design plan and documentation. I have zero experience with this, anybody know a good example on the web of either of these? Much appreciated!2 -
Does anyone else it fucking ironic that Jira is the go to tool for "agile" development? The amount of bloat, buttons, etc all make non-agile the task of filling out all the stupid forms and assigning all these shitty irrelevant details makes it a turn off.1
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Returning to tech after 3 years working with agile, training and coaching Scrum, Kaban and XP practices. Applying for team leadership positions. Advice?1
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When you are forced to make the first ML model for a problem without having a clue about the data, in the name of agile
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just a little pool here, do you, yes, you, do you think an inexperienced intern should take an epic story?
(not that there we work with agile, that would be great, but it's a task equivalent to an epic.)2 -
In my previous agile sprint I somehow completed my task before the halfway, that's why I got less buffer time and point in this sprint.
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Robert Martin says in clean code, or maybe clean architecture, that one should separate the tests into what is hard and easy. GUI tests are hard and therefore brittle and so we should test against view models.
However on clean agile he says a story is not done until it passes automated acceptance tests which in my experience are always brittle and grow so large and brittle that things grind to a halt.
What am I missing? Are stable acceptance tests possible on the GUI? Should we test only an API?5 -
Honest question, if you work in an agile environment, do you prefer story points or counting of hours to gauge tasks?4
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Yesterday, I attended a seminar about agile methods, Agile Islands. I attended it last year too, and have previously attended more or less evangelist lectures about agile so my expectations were frankly not that high. But, I have to say...WOW! Now I finally get what agile is all about! The reason that I haven't been convinced until now is that we've been doing it all wrong :)3
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Working with non-existing specs. Just have to pick a guess what arguments and columns that will be needed. Right now it feels like I'm up to a very fuzzy task, that will need to be done over and over again until it gets right, instead of doing it right once and for all. If this is agile, then agile is a waste of time!5
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To those who have worked in mad RAD solo environments, with next to no testing...
...and those who have worked full Agile, with high code coverage, code review amongst hoards of T-shaped developers...
...how much difference does it make to wellbeing and upskilling in the two?
Bonus points if you have done both and can compare in an n=1 way.2 -
Has anybody experience with Scrum in small web development agencies? Especially estimating stories with story points instead of hours/days?
We have a new junior project manager, without any practical experience working agile, who wants to establish scrum because what he read about it sounded so good... I already worked agile with kanban before and I loved it, but I only have little experience with scrum.
I think scrum, or agile in general, won't work with the clients we have. Most of the time, our clients have a fixed deadline, a fixed budget (either money or time) and they know their requirements, so there is no much room for beeing agile.
Regarding story points, I just adding an unneccessary layer of abstraction, because the customer wants to know how long a specific feature takes. Sure, story points are just another, more dynamic unit for time, but then why nut estimate in static time unit in the first place? Another fear I have, is that some devs may be more ignorant regarding deadlines and expectations on customers side. "yeah I'm working for 10 days on this story, but it's 8 points!" instead of informing the project manager "Currently I spend 2 days on this feature, we estimated 3 days, but it seems I need 3 days more".
Maybe I shouldn't be worried, but it would be great if you could share your experience and learnings. Thanks in advance!14 -
!rant
Agile devs— do you attend sprint planning?
I want to, but my boss told me not to go (waste of my time, he says). Only leads attend them, then they come back with tickets for the rest of the team. But a few other devs I’ve spoken to found that absurd, since attending lets you choose your tickets to a certain extent.
Do you attend yours? Is it crazy not to? Am I missing out? (I ask bc ours is happening right now— and it’s so empty in here!)4 -
The waterfall model of executing agile: Planning phase -- how to execute agile?
The loudest voices are often the people who contribute much else.
How many of these meetings have you been witness to ? -
Why do they demand 12-month goals when we use Agile Methodologies?
If we do it right, we don't know what we are working on next sprint, let alone 12 months.
Our goals are to work on the highest priority stories. We are not to work on stuff "in the background", so how can we have any long-term goals?
The only things we can plan are outside of our actual jobs (like conferences, training, pilot programs/hackathon projects, etc.) So the only things we can review at the end of the year are not the most important things we do.
Poor managers love numbers and checklists to hide behind.2 -
scaled agile day long planning meetings sitting around watching other teams point their pointables.
1 -
Agile can work really well with webapps. But does it work for mobile apps? Each iOS app release can take days if unlucky5
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Just sat the shittiest exam of my life yesterday. It involved among other things: TDD with java (on paper), critiquing and rewriting gherkin scenarios, and diagnosing problems with agile teams based on a limited description. I was short for time at the end and chose not to answer some questions because it would tire my hand too much to attempt them, and it's time consuming af to edit stuff you wrote down.
Many other exams are switching to online tests, and this one really could have benefited from that given the sheer volume of crap I had to write down.
I'm basically hoping to God that I didn't fail this thing, but the lowest exam grade I've had so far is 70 so it would be crazy if I did. Still, fuck these people for writing such a difficult exam. -
I don't know why, but even though I have years of experience doing agile both in school and at work, I seem to have a hard time adjusting to the agile work method because I always seem to want to do waterfall.
I don't like the stress of having to rush out a product, nor do I like working on an unknown piece of software (framework/library) without knowing it fully; it just itches me and I get obsessive.
I don't like creating just a piece of functionality and rush it out the door, but I rather like doing it in an R&D type way where I get years to finish a product that I slowly work on, like a modern-age philosopher and scientist.
I know there are companies out there that have this approach, but sadly most of them are agile 'cause they all wanna be cool.. LoL
I'm an old mind in a modern world..2 -
1 - Correct me if I’m wrong, but in true Agile, a product owner ought to be able to interact directly with the dev team, and vice versa, in the card/conversation/confirmation process of creating, estimating, and executing the user stories, correct?
2 - If Company “A” contracts with Consultant “A” to have software developed, and then Consultant “A” then contracts with Company “B” who then contracts with Consultant “B” to do the development, who would you define as the Product Owner?
3 - If Company “B” is barring Consultant “B” from talking with Company “A” and Consultant “B”, is Agile even possible?7 -
I'd like to learn SCRUM/AGILE/JIRA or whatever management thingie is available out there that helps to manage projects in a team. anybody can share any link/blog/video? thanks6
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I’ve been reading “Agile Testing” by Lisa Crispin. The list of tools that I learn about and go on to star it on GitHub is never-ending! Are you expected to be proficient in each and every one of these?
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Be agile, practice patterns, read the core literature (GoF, uncle Bob...)
Actually finish a pet project.
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