FUCK IT

After YEARS of research, I couldn't find a single working load testing tool

So this weekend I created my own. With blackjack and hookers.

It's limited to my app, so not reusable, but wow in 1 weekend I got more data and found more infra problems than in the past 3 years.

Great, just what we need, JALTT.

Me thinks you didn't want to learn or pay for any of the hundreds of load testing tools already available, and that's ok.

Just don't say there's not any that work. Maybe it's not the world that's wrong, maybe it's your app?

@sariel they are ALL have the same limitation :

They cannot pick a random user from app.

JMeter was candidate number 1.

Limitation : Can't do a scenario where some requests are send at the same time, and some are serialized (One after another) to represent what ther user ATUALLY loads on the page

Limitation : Authentification. JMetter cannot handle cookies AND bareer token (Cookies are needed for other aspect, such as ARR afinity and disabling this cookie will produce false results).

So no, I couyldn't find a single tool which can replicate a page visit with all underlyning AJAX calls in the same order as the real user will do it.

If you have ONE (I have budget of 1000$/month I can spent) which can do all of that, I'll gladlky dlete my project and use it.

Point me to ONE.

@sariel shots fired, now your move

I looked into this myself way back when I was trying to generate fake traffic (tldr; dumb fuck management wanted to bump up users). I looked at flood.io and a project I saw at GitHub called flood-chrome I think.

Of course, as the saying goes: if you want something done right…

@NoToJavaScript one does not not Jmeter well.

Jmeter can and does use cookies and bearer tokens, just not in a sane way.

You need to pump the token into a variable and pass it into the next requests where needed, kind of like what you would do with postman / insomnia

Src: I use jmeter for load testing.

You can run threads but it's still not a real world usage kind of emulator but a pump and dump.

Cookies: https://jmeter.apache.org/usermanua...

Bash and curl.

:)

Just drop a good old fork bomb.

@AnxiousADHDGuy that's the great thing, I don't have to.

The internet provides, among other things, great resources and content that can provide the answers sought.

Not only, but many of these testing suites have exhaustive documentation.

The only help I can provide, that coincidentally is the same I give every Jr dev I mentor, is this:

git gud and RTFM

@sariel Nice attitude mate. Coming in not going deeper wether your solution is even viable, instead taking a hot steaming shit and then before leaving turning on a cooling fan to spread the smell. I like it. Probably you must be one of those stackoveflow mods.

@AnxiousADHDGuy I'll cut to the quick.

https://letmegooglethat.com//...

I don't have to give my opinion of what the best load testing service is because it doesn't matter.

I have seen far too many devs refuse to RTFM or are just outright too lazy to learn the tooling of the trade. These devs will almost ALWAYS "build their own solution that's better in every way", except it only solves for 1% of the problem.

I don't care about what @NoToJavaScript has done, great for them! I do have a problem when I join a team after devs like them have moved on though. Then I have to explain to management on WHY we need to spend $x and x hours on replacing something that has zero support.

I am sick of having to deal with "rockstar" disasters after the "talent" has flown the coop.

If the 100+ testing services can't give you want you need, 👏 your 👏 app 👏 is 👏 wrong.

@sariel Sooo..

The FIRST link is JMeter, which I explained. It;'s a horesshit. Youy can do basic load tesing, but advanced scenarios, based on user access etc.

The second link is a random site https://www.msn.com/en-ca/

Basiclly all 15 links are pay to click from "letmegoogleitforyou".

Here, in the screen shot a list of pages your link provide. NOT ONE TOOL. Only dewfault agregators with pay to visit.

You are a fucking idiot if you think you can actually foind something with "ket me googlwe it for you".

@NoToJavaScript you're a fucking idiot if you think LMGTFY was anything other than an insult.

@sariel nop, I';m just presenting results. So.. have a nice DateTime.Now.

I get that this is dev<<rant>>, but please, gentlemen, lets rant agains the world, not agains each others

That being said:

@sariel is right in one part: there are tools available, not all free, not all good, not all straight-forward, but there are

@NoToJavaScript is right in one part: the tools available or found were not able to solve the issue (or were not documented enough to be able to guess they can do that, nobody will learn a tool if they are not sure they need it)

Maybe we can compromise that there are tools available, while there is not a bad thing to build your own, even if it only solves a small percent of use cases. After all, we would all be stuck with Internet Explorer now if everyone would have been complacent with "it can do it too, just more cumbersome"

Cheers!

Also, @NoToJavaScript, maybe you can abstract your tool a tiny bit and add some documentation (if it's not already, of course) and release it as an open source. It could help others in the same situation as yourself and maybe some will find the time to help you improve it

it's just a thought too, no pressure!

@sariel Wow big insult. You are full of shit man. Obviously you know jackshit about what your'e talking about. Typical fullstacker trash who has surface level knowledge in everything and tries to pretend to actually know something, and when pushed into corner what you do? Start insulting? What a pathecic sight.

I pity people who have to work with you, you big posing arrogant manchild. Now go on now, pickip your toys and go back to your sandbox.

In my honest opinion @sariel is right, what I read in this thread is just grief and whine. Rtfm

@AnxiousADHDGuy

"Shots fired"

"You must be one of those stack overflow mods"

"You are full of shit"

Explain to me what your three comments in this thread have provided to the discussion other than just pathetically attacking me.

I think you're just a Jr dev who's got a mindful of hate because nobody listens to you at work.

Let me give you some advice child, you can't hurt a Sr dev because there's nothing left alive to hurt.

@sariel You're right. Apologies for behaving childishly.