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JavaScript is to Java what fun is to a funeral.

Comments
  • 36
    JavaScript => Fun
    Java => Funeral
  • 36
    No. JavaScript is somehow a funny funeral
  • 3
    Words !!
  • 23
    @Desmond you mean chaotic and fucked up? 😂😂

    //True story:
    var thisIsAString = "5";
    thisIsAString++ ;
    Console.log(thisIsAString);

    >>>6
    >>>
  • 9
    Oh look. Another Java bash. How creative.
  • 23
    A wise one said

    [What is the difference between Java and Javascript?]

    One is essentially a toy, designed for writing small pieces of code, and traditionally used and abused by inexperienced programmers.

    The other is a scripting language for web browsers.
  • 3
    Yeah, you can't bring Javascript to a serious environment
  • 5
    @Awlex ???? Didn't you meant that you cannot bring JAVA to a serious environment?
  • 3
    @Awlex If by 'serious' you mean "so fucked up that we don't have time to write tests, <insert generic joke about how strings can change to numbers in js>, and Java just helps me sleep better at night in that situation cause I have a bunch of shitty interns in my team.." then yea, sure.
  • 18
    Funny how you can actually prop up JS in the same sentence as you bash Java. Sure it's verbose and you could write stupidly complex shit. But you can also write really nice, maintainable, extendable, well tested backend logic. I prefer Scala but even then I thank Java for the massive ecosystem I have access to. Seems like there are only 18 year old webdesigners on devrant
  • 1
    Guess this is just frustration about one or the other languge.
  • 3
    @Kamelpaj let me guess, you're a 46 year old backend engineer
  • 3
    Sadly JS is missing it's funeral since several years ...
  • 1
    @Kamelpaj please do tell, what makes Java so uniquely maintainable, extendable, and what else.. testable you said?
  • 3
    @burmesepornstar prolly something I can't do in C++ and Javascript with the same tools of nearly identical tools 😂

    Sorry, but when we talk about Java I am incredibly salty.

    @Kamelpaj And I use JS as an extension language so no, I don't do webdesign, maybe you should think about what benefits do Java bring you out of Database development. Tbh, C++ with Boehm GC is as much adapted for the same purpose but let's give away DB dev to Java.

    Java is a toy. Yes you can use a toy hammer on a real nail. A toy bench to make real stuff, but I personally would be ashamed selling a software made in Java if it is not a DBMS.

    JS, even with Nodejs, features the same problems regarding performance, but it is to me a prototyping tool or a nice scripting language with regex. I do well in small websites (say 10000 visits a day on Ghost/Nodejs on convenience hardware). I would be ashamed to sell a HP Computing system made in Nodejs, in JS or in any variant of ecmascript that do not compile AoT
  • 3
    JavaScript is a mess. If you dont know all it quirks you are lost (in a team project). Strict rules and linters will help.
  • 1
    @QCat I like your words
  • 1
    @magnusi well it is just that I like metrics a lot. Since the requirement for all my projects is minimal server footprint (I host 7 websites on a single 4GB of RAM server, 2 cores 4 threads CPU) I know that Java is too costly, php can't handle surges, so I am left with JS for small stuff, C++ for bigger stuff and Elixir when things get fatter. With respective metrics of 3000 r/s max, 4500 r/s and 5500 r/s.
  • 1
    @QCat @magnusi and there is also a gitlab on the same server so a bit of CGrouped Ruby that have already lived uploads of tens of GB at once at the occasion of a project I got gifted with.
  • 1
    java is fun
  • 2
    @burmesepornstar can i be another one of your shitty interns? I promise to no raise the bar 😂
  • 1
    @rantalicious Like I said, Java is ideal for DBMS development, but for anything else, there is better. For DDBMS there is erlang, for small web, Node, for mid sized web php7, for fast web C++ or erlang again, for desktop and mobile C#.

    Use the right tool at the right place. Java belongs in DBMS. Outside of that it is toying.
  • 1
    You mean.. Java is to JavaScript what fun is to a funeral.. ;) ;)
  • 1
    @purple-engineer lol. I too wanna be in the bottom 33%ile of a team again and be that 'shitty intern' at someone else's expense.

    #diversifyWhileYoungEnough
    (I hate how I now feel the need to say "young enough" and not just "young". For heaven's sake kids, don't start really coding until you're at least 18!! You make me feel fucking old)
  • 1
    @rantalicious I mean DBMS, because of its lazy memory management and lazy synchronization it allows high throughout. See MySQL, Apache Cassandra and Voldemort
  • 3
    This thread is crazy. Each are widely used for entirely different reasons.

    The first four letters just happen to be the same. That was the point of the OP.
  • 1
    @rantalicious my bad, but the 2 others are Java
  • 1
    @fives nope. If that were the case OP would have switched the order of java and javascript. Cause that would make more sense. Moreover, maybe a different choice of words than fun and funeral. Nope. This thread is exactly what it was meant to be :P
  • 3
    people that Think JS can substitute Java are just too dumb to understand Java, so they Stick with a Toy like JavaScript
  • 3
    fucking hell man, chill out!
  • 3
    Java is to JavaScript as car is to carpet.
  • 2
    @iceman JS does not substitute Java, but tell me one point Java can do C# can't more gracefully and with better code reusability
  • 2
    @QCat write Android Apps, next
  • 1
    @iceman I wrote Android apps in C#, Xamarin is not for nothing
  • 2
    @QCat you wrote a Hybrid App, which is not a native Android App but a responsive website. And you asked what Java can do better than C#, which is dev of Android Apps for instance
  • 1
    @iceman It is more efficient and productive than Java and avoid platform code duplication. It addresses the problems of Java, and you can still use native Java functions from android
  • 0
    @iceman you play on the words, I focus on usecases
  • 2
    @QCat and it has nothing to do with a website btw
  • 2
  • 2
    @lunarkittie bwahaha so js == Java right
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