AboutNothing special about me yet. Just a weeb with some programming skills and hope for an internet without all this political BS interference and dictatorship
SkillsFullstack Elixir dev. Languages I wasted time on: [Java, JSP, PHP] Languages I appreciate, but don't get to use much: [C, Python, Kotlin] I also like Arch Linux, Vim, tiling window managers.
Joined devRant on 8/18/2016
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Stakeholder wants some features. I had a good laugh when I see that he referenced onlyfans for these features.
We going down the porn route 🤑😎3
A: Hey yo, that function should only support up to 20 objects
B: Say no more fam
LinkedIn, if you have the nerves to send me an email, how about you also have some guts and tell me what that "notification" is about. Not that I care in the first place, but generally whenever I see the notification after logging in, I would think the same every time: That was a waste of time to read, even if it was in the email subject.
Like I care about some recruiter and his PHP shit when I've clearly stated as technology I want to avoid, have been deployed for 2 years and am using the tools I prefer.
I also don't care if I appeared in a search.
"Holy fuck, you appeared in that shitshow of a companies shithead recruiter. You better start celebrating like you won the fucking lottery and put your hips in a submissive position like a good boy"
"Thank you for using linkedIn, have you considered giving us money?" - automated bot of linkedIn stuff every now and then.
Is there some kind of fetish I'm missing that makes this an enjoyable or endurable experience?7
Api-docs: Use the query parameter name_pattern to return results that contain name. Otherwise use name to return an exact match
Api: Returns *name* results when using name and everything when using name_pattern without a wildcard
The ability to understand every codebase immediately to the point where I:
* don't need to rely on the documentation
* know exactly where bugs are
* know how a change (bug fix, new feature, etc.) affects other areas of the project recursively
Obviously because it's a waste of time hunting that occur when modifying a codebase, no matter how carefully one writes tests or tests their code, something could always sneak in because it's not always apparent how a change ripples through your codebase.
It's tiresome and especially annoying when working with core modules1
Motherfucking braindead pieces of shit software we need to pay 2k out of 2k too much for, don't fucking throe an error in production because we didn't provide a fucking optional parameter. That's why it is optional to begin with. What the fuck kind of shit when through tour mind when you introduced this shit?2
Idk what the fuck happened, but for some reason the API I was working with just started to refuse to connect.
So I try to ping the page, and the ping is below 1ms. Look at ip 127.0.0.1 Fuck me I guess.
Does someone know what could cause something like this?4
I wanted to continue working on my project at my grandparents house, using my laptop.
I've pushed the most recent code, but what I didn't push was the recent commits I made in my helper library...
I was updating and using the library locally and now I have a dependency on ../library name. Great job me3
>Get java "From zero to hero" book at the age of 12
>Follow along and despair at all the java jargon
>write small programs for fun
>ff to 14yo
>Get my first android phone (galaxy S3)
>Get android 4.0 book
>Follow along and despair at all the android jargon
>Develop small apps for fun
>Learn Java, C and python for the rest of high school
>discover functional programming (erlang/elixir) towards the end of highschool
>Learn said language
>Find first job and current job right after that
My god, I wanted to help a coworker fixing his ubuntu installation, but a famous pornstar seems like a virgin next to this. Yeet and reinstall5
I was too concerned whether or not I should extend a feature, that I forgot to check if I could do so.
Now I've shot myself in the foot by breaking half of the feature and my only solution to make this work out as intented are quite ugly.
10/10 would do so again. Programming like a retard is the way hobby projects are meant to be. Best learning experience you could hope for.
Also, bless git for giving me a second chance in case I've gone full retard mode.4
Me: *rewrites chunk of code*
"Time to test this baby. This is gonna fail spectacularly"
Porca puttanata, non funziona un cazzo.
Fuck this api is so strange sometimes.
Ich hab die Schnauze voll, aber die Scheiße will nicht rendern wie ich es will.
"Plz create these new users, thanks"
Plz suck my nuts and click on the fucking "new" button yourself5
Fuck all those special snowflake npm packages who each implement their own incomprehensible documents format and even make an ugly ass website full of lies for it.
Client: THIS IS CRITICAL, SOME DATA HAS BEEN DELETED, WHAT ZE FUUK HAPPENED, UNDO THIS FAST
Us: so after carefully reviewing the code, related resources and the network traffic we conclude that was never sent in the first place.
I'm glad we got such a meaningful bug report on the same day a production system started failing, one big deployment that that was like a boss with 3 phases, an unnecessary long meeting and an app developer that that wanted me to break HTTP standards.1
Me: *randomly streaming myself code just because*
Friend: "So what are you doing"
Me: "I'm trying to parse a file. The specs are here - oh"
Me: "I set screenshare to vs code only, so you can't see it"
Friend: "It's alright, just pass me the link"
Me: "Well, this is vs code, so I might as well check if it can display websites"
Friend: "No way you'd need that,"
* simple browser
Friend: "Please no"
"Enter url here"
Friend: *dies of bloat*
Me: "All hail the bloat"
Friend in heaven: "Stop, your bloat will drag me down to hell"
So yeah, bloat can be useful sometimes4
Client: "I did not receive the email that should be send after that event. Please fix."
* Checks code - ok
* Tests feature in locally - ok
* Tests feature in production - ok
* checks values in database - ok
* 2 hours wasted - ok
"Please help me dear CTO, idk what else I could check or how I should even respond to this."
CTO: "hmm, the clients account uses a adminstrative email address for testing. Let me just check if it is in the mailbox."
*checks* "Yeah, that's the email you're looking for, right?"
Me: *experiences relief, anger, blood lust and disappointment at the same time* "Could you please respond to the client for me, I need a break. Thanks"3
EA can suck my inches. Fucking deprecated and greedy business practices. Now I'm fucking told me to play the game later, because "too many computers have accessed this accounts version of a shitty game that crashed my pc 3 times. Please try again later."
Stupid cunts, have you ever heard of a vpn? Or maybe listened to the people complaining about this issue since 2017. On top of that you apparently rendered geforce now useless with this error.
Good fucking lord, I haven't even mentioned origin, the big pile of shit, yet. The download functionality you praise like God's cum doesn't even hold out half an hour before it freezes, together while the whole UI. You cannot like your games with a steam account, so you'd have to pay for a game you already own.
...And a whole lot of other issues I probably haven't encountered yet.
It's more lucrative to sell this shitty account and then buy the fucking game I want to play on steam. I have a feeling that would be about the best option I have.
I'm tired of this shit, I just wanna play some games with friends. I did not play to be spit on my face by some corporate wankers2
Client: Yo, there's like a 30k difference between the invoices in the application and paypal.
CTO: Yeah, that's really sad. Btw, did you know that our payment gateway supports credit cards, which won't be shown in paypal?
I'm writing this in a funny tone, but I was the person who basically implemented every aspect of accounting in that application, so I praying silently 😅1
Day 2 of fetching data from external sources: someone entered an entry on 2006.41.12 (YYYY.MM.DD). People will do everything to fuck with API users3
Someone put a fucking \b in this dataset I'm working with, which just so happens to be an illegal character for xml.
FUCKING HOW. FUCKING WHY. FUCKING WHERE ARE YOU AND WHY DO YOU WANT TO SEE ME SUFFER THIS MUCH4
Thanks VS code for randomly deciding to fuck up over 1000 lines of saves yet uncommitted code.
I seriously just want to cry8
* I wanna make a website
* I'm good at backend
* I suck at frontend
* I wanna make a website
* I suck at backend
* I'm good at frontend
Initial though: Match made in heaven
Now: FFS Wordpress is not the kind of frontend I had in mind.
git commit suicide.txt -m "It was a nice thought before it was put into action"4
It's great that people finally start to boycott big tech social media, but I really don't want your brain deprived thought vomit on my mastodon feed.
Guess I'll look into hosting my own instance soonish1