Fuck you Oracle Forms and fucking database locks.

I'm trying to Uninstall Visual Studio 2017 and the uninstaller is asking me to update the installer before I can proceed.

What type of fuck is this Microsoft?

Bank Teller: So how was your experience in using our online banking service.
Me: (Me looking at his face in awkward way)

I sent this email to client:

Hi Christine,
Can we shit this afternoon and go over the scope of work once again?

In reply she sent me this meme with few LOL emoji

I came to work early. Found myself a really good chair. In the "Staffs" channel on Slack told everyone that I rubbed my balls all over the chair. I guess this should stop someone from stealing this chair.

Related Rant:
https://devrant.com/rants/1637740/...

Someone is changing my chair in the office every time I go for break.

When DBA gives you access to the Prod DB instead of the Dev DB.

I thought it would be nice of me to take my fellow Developers for lunch. One of them is total bitch. She ate almost all my fries that I ordered. She ordered Chicken Chopsuey and was not able to that much because had to much fries.

Fuck man!

I'm 4 days old to this company. I spent 40 minutes debugging why the internet is not working. I asked the IT Guys for the support and they said everything is good.

So why the fuck is the internet not working? I rant at them. The IT Guy told me to calm down and then he will help me. So I calm down and again went to ask for help. He said that he will check it out after breakfast.

It's been more then an hour and he hasn't returned yet. I'm going to complain to the Boss when he comes in. This is not cool man.

How can I be funny at my new workplace and ONLY girls should laugh filter out all the boys? Unfortunately I can't use code to solve this problem. Anyone?

Microsoft should have pre-install Visual Studio Code on Windows Platform rather then Code Writer. What is the purpose of Code Writer, anyone?

I find adobe website fucked up. They asking to many personal information just for downloading a fucking trial software. Dude WTF?

Is devRant allowed in China?

Do you distance yourself from people who calls, messages or email's you when they need help? I have few friends who are nice people but they remember me when they need some work to be done. They don't call me to meet for drink or hangout.

01. Woke Up
02. Masturbated
03. Took shower
04. Woke up my computer from sleep
05. Windows wants to update
06. I'm going back to sleep

Why the fuck everything starts working smoothly on Sunday after 09:00 PM. Fuck, I don't feel like going to sleep now. I'm trying to make this shit work from Friday.

A friend of mine who just started work as an Applications Developer. One of his duties is to I quote "Create and maintain inventory, which may include hardware, software and various items such as toners and peripheral equipment"

We had a good laugh together.

Does anyone still have CD/DVD Drive on their computer?

Today I was going through some old stuff and found a 2 x DVD Drive. Those memories made me cry.

I was so in-depth thinking about coding that I didn't realize that the finger I was sucking was prior used to scratch my testicles..

Please god, I hope I'm not the only one.

My last day at work today. I have been in this company for 4 months only. A lot of promises were made during the interview and when I was in, it was jack shit.

I just fucking hate compiling this fucking C# (ASP.NET) code and then transferring to staging server. Fuck you.....no no no listen to me fuck you and fuck this shit.

A colleague named Sam was really pissed off today at an out sourcing firm from India.

My Boss outsourced an application to India based firm. Sam was the one handling the project after the handover. Sam coded a feature 2 weeks ago and moved to staging server for approval. After the sign off from the lead developer of the outsourcing firm, he moved the feature to production. For the past 2 days the application was crashing over and over again so Sam went to check and found out that the feature he coded was causing the issue. When he pulled the feature to his computer and had a look at the code, it wasn’t his code. The code he wrote was commented out and the lead developer of the outsourcing firm wrote new code.

When Sam emailed to him regarding this he replied that he re-wrote his code to fix issues with the feature. Sam and outsourcing firm lead developer had heated argument about this. It’s turns out that the outsourcing developer re-wrote the code without anyone’s approval and on production server.

The lead developer of the outsourcing firm was fired.

Thank god it started working. I can now go and sleep peacefully.

I received an email from marketing manager requested me to extract all the emails from the all the application and compile it into a CSV and make sure that CSV doesn't have duplicate email's. She wants to send newsletter to all those email's which we don't have permission for.

I permanently deleted that email.

Fuck, Adobe CC (2018) gives 7 days trial.

I still use jQuery in most of my projects and I'm not ashamed to confess about it. PERIOD.

Something is really fucking wrong with people in my company. They fucking calling me after 5PM on Friday when the server is down. What part of my role you fuckers don't understand. I'm not a Network Engineer and I don't have fucking access to the fucking server.

Call the fucking Network Engineer. If his not picking up his phone then that's his fucking problem not mine.

(Bang the Table) Fuck this shit

Me: Boss you told me to come and talk to you regarding my performance on Monday but you went on leave.
Boss: I said that out of frustration. I forgot that you have already resigned so no use saying anything to you.
Me: 😂😂😂

Related Rant
https://devrant.com/rants/1527062/...

Today I was asked if my email was all lowercase or uppercase. I wanted to be sarcastic but I relax this time.

I don't understand why only lowercase and uppercase why not camelcase?

This is NOT a SPAM

This is something creative I saw online today about disabling your ad-block. Have a look at this link https://html-online.com/dab/