2 weeks in my new job. I started hating the work. I'm stuck working on legacy systems. This guys don't work on latest technologies.

A friend sends in reminder 3 time to me via Viber message to up-vote his Stackoverflow question.

Yeap bro we all have been there.

Oracle Database 🤣🤣🤣

In a job interview with panel of 4 people and I can't seem to communicate with them properly. OMG I spent 2 days in front of the mirror practicing communication skills.

Oh fuck!

During the job interview faking your smile like you understand WTF they are saying. Deep inside your heart thinking why you are not rich and you badly need this job.

What? Can you like stop trolling the Developers please.

That annoying co-worker that asks you each and everything about programming and when you tell them, they be like "Oh I already knew that"

WTF Bitch!

Met this couple at the grocery store. After few minutes we were sharing mobile numbers. An hour later I was at their home. Next I remember switching on their laptop to install audio driver.

This is how people in the society treat me

I quote "One programmer’s code is other programmer’s job"

Get ready to change the copyright year in the footer if it's not dynamic.

This is my last month at this my current company. Found another company who was really interested in me to join them. They even took me out for dinner so that I can say "Yes" to their offer. I did say "Yes" however I have mentioned that if the management if fucked up, I will leave.

Before that I will need to burn my current leaves. Starting from 15th of Jan in the new company.

Fixing bugs on web-based application that's on production.

I like to stay home and code day and night on my side projects. I don't want to go to work. I wish I had the money to fulfill my passion.

Fuck money, fuck bills

!rant
After knocking off from work, I went to nearby Coffee shop to grab a Coffee. I met a girl and we started talking about our day. She asked me to do her a favor and take a look at her laptop, it’s been playing up for sometime now. So, I went. She took me to her bedroom where the laptop was, and the conversation continued on topic romance, sex and girlfriend. You know what happened next…Yes.

For the first time in my life I fixed a hot cheeks computer and got laid.

What was wrong? There was a malware in her computer which was opening random websites.

They fucked up the project deadline again. I received 5 days to finish up the web-based application without any brief and design. When I asked for it they said it's easy I can just Google for similar app and make it.

What?

When the Sales team fucks up something, they point finger at each other for the blame.

When the Dev Team fucks up something, as a Senior Developer I say to my Boss that we fucked it up no matter whose fault it is and we will fix it up by x time.

When the SysAdmin team fucks. The Dev Team is to blame.

Sorry guys, I got a bit frustrated. All our servers wasn't backed up from last week and the SysAdmin guys are saying it's our fault.

What the fuck is going on? fuck you fuck fuck fuck fuck...

This happened few hours ago.

Client: I received an email which says that I won 1 million dollars. They gave me a link in the email, when I entered my credit card details nothing happened.
Me: Wait what? You entered your credit card details.
Client: Yes
Me: That was a scam, you didn’t win anything. They stole your credit details. Contact your bank ASAP and let them know about this.
Client: You guys are handling our email servers, why can’t you guys keep it safe. What type of security do you guys provide.
Me: Wait what? We host your website application not email.
Client: Damn it. My son said the same thing, but I didn’t listen to him. Anyways Cheers.

Boss: Here's the next project that I would you to start immediately.
Me: So the client wants <Application Name>
Boss: Yes and it's due on Friday after 2 weeks.
Me: Yes can be done. By what time today you can give me the requirements.
Boss: Not today, I will give you the requirements next week Friday.
Me: So I should start the project next week Friday.
Boss: You have to start the project today
Me: Start with what? There is no requirement. Excuse me, I need a break.

I have spent 5 days in Microsoft Excel trying to do my budget planner. I struggled a lot and too much Googling. Google started to show reCaptcha whenever I search for something after that.

Yesterday, I spent 3 hours and got my fully functionality web based budget planner done.

I don't know if I did the right thing or not but am really happy and I have the full control.

This former developer made an app 2 years ago which is in production since then. On the 404 page it's throws the database credentials. The database saves personal information about the mobile owner.

Luckily I found out and fixed it. The client doesn't know about this.

Oh boy!

YouTube first what's it's about or get information about the tech. Next, look for free tutorials on YouTube.

When working on the tech, use Google to look to bug-fix or code that some might have already written.

damn I' am such a obsessed person when it comes to coding and people. I get headaches from this obsession.

Why can't you just fucking tell me what type of website you want. Every week you are fucking adding/removing new features and don't want to pay for it. You know what? Fuck you! From next week Monday I' am putting your website on hold until you agree to pay for the changes we made for the past 3 weeks.

On the same note, fuck you to my General Manager who thinks he will get laid for not charging for the changes made to the website. She is just using you dumb piece of shit.

How many fucken times should I tell you that ASP.NET is not a fucken programming language and you being a dumb ass always trying to compare ASP.NET with PHP.

The fuck is wrong with you dude?

This is very long along. Senior Developer was doing my code and telling the best way to write jQuery and PHP codes.

The funny part is that he doesn't know anything about PHP and whatever jQuery code he told me to correct was very shitty and difficult to maintain.

That's when I knew. This world is fucked up!

It's looks like this weeks "Weekly Group Rant" is trolling all the developers who have side projects that never finished.

1. CMS like WordPress
2. MVC framework like Laravel
3. Android App like Tinder
and... list goes on.

#1, #2 and few others are still stuck on index page.

Client: When I hit the “Subscribe” button, it gives me an error.
Me: What’s the error message?
Client: The email field is required.
Me: Have you entered your email before hitting the “Subscribe” button.
Client: Oh, I have enter my email address?
Me: Yes

English is a very complicated language.

Without even talking to me, why the fuck did you announce that I would be taking the project manager role. Who the fuck wants to do that monkey job? What the fuck is fucking hell wrong with your fucken brain.

You bloody piece of shit with masters from university and can’t handle fucken projects and client’s. Clients are complaining to me about you. Whole day looks for women to fuck during the night while we are dying virgin over here. Fuck you and I wish your dick falls apart.

Him: Why are you following Linus Torvalds on Github?
Me: This is a very complicated question

Windows Photo Viewer doesn't support GIF animation. Great!