1017

- Hello! Gordon's pizza?
- No sir it's Google's pizza.
- So it's a wrong number?
- No sir, Google bought it.
- OK. Take my order please ..
- Well sir, you want the usual?
- The usual? You know me?
- According to our caller ID, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheeses, sausage, thick crust
- OK! This is it
- May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato?
- No, I hate vegetables
- But your cholesterol is not good
- How do you know?
- Through the subscribers guide. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years
- Okay, but I do not want this pizza, I already take medicine
- You have not taken the medicine regularly, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drugsale Network
- I bought more from another drugstore
- It's not showing on your credit card
- I paid in cash
- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement
- I have other source of cash
- This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you got it from undeclared income source
-WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet,where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me
- I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it has expired 5 weeks ago..

Comments
  • 56
    What the actual fuck !?! 😂😂😂
  • 78
    You dropped this: a punchline
  • 131
    You forget, Google already knows how you react so would have communicated with you in a way you would have agreed with ;)
  • 20
    This is my worst nightmare. And it's already happening.
  • 3
    :-D:-D:-D
  • 2
    @zuck Google is stalker
  • 5
    So whats wrong with it?
  • 1
    @zuck Are you from Gujarat?
  • 2
    @zuck kem 6o bhaio?@TheBinaryGuy
  • 0
    Awesome Google!😀😂
  • 11
    Was gonna post this as a separate post but, its like super fuckin relevant to this lol
  • 2
    @zuck ahmedabad na lago 6o.
    Gujarati kyay pn mali j jay. Khali kem 6o pu6vanu.
  • 0
    @zuck ahmedabad.
  • 0
  • 3
    Why not just listen to what Google says and have the ricotta pizza. Sounds like the smart move here.
  • 1
    I mean, the alternative seems to involve drug-related criminal activity and unhealthy blood fat levels.
    Listen to Google.
  • 3
    Google knows you more than yourself..
  • 7
    This is the reason i quit stuff like google, facebook, whatsapp, telegram etc. Because this might become reality way too soon!
  • 2
    @Jop- Oh it's me not about the clients, it's me about the amounts of metadata they collect :)
  • 6
    I love Google. They know everything about me so I don't have to. 😂
  • 2
    Wait 'til they allow advertisement companies to obtain your Internet usage

    Nevermind it already happened
  • 3
    @Germaticus Erg en Signal mostly!
  • 0
  • 1
    Imagine if Google and Facebook merged.
  • 0
    But there's
  • 0
    @linuxxx out of curiosity - how do you communicate with clients, outside of email? Or is everything email /phone?
  • 1
  • 3
    @yusijs Well i don't have any clients yet and just finished study but otherwise through either texting, email (the service i use can still regularly email) really
  • 4
    @Germaticus I use Signal, Riot and TutaNota!
  • 2
    Then you got to know that on the other side of the phone was an A.I.
  • 0
    I hate it when people don't finish there st...
  • 0
    @Jop- faceapp? no wait
  • 0
    Google really wants you to eat that ricotta. I would be suspicious 🕵️‍♂️
  • 0
    Amazing 😁 buddy
  • 0
    I feel like this !!!
  • 2
    @SamsungMao oh for hell's sake, not even in dreams no!
    Although to be less overreacting, they are almost like 2 billionaires on a poker board to whom it won't matter even if they merge,coz they will be still billionaires more or less...
    And in terms of privacy, google is recording your mic's audio while facebook is looking into your contacts and your contact's contact and contact's contact's contact and more....So yeah they both have enough of ur knowledge and money that a mutual partnership won't be much of a profitable idea... Rather companies will raise voices of being crushed by one single giant's Monopoly. the two are playing this game apart ;yet so together and silently safe.
  • 0
    It is from black humor category...
  • 0
Your Job Suck?
Get a Better Job
Add Comment