I fucked up.

I shared information that should have never been said with my wife.

Now she knows and she won't leave it alone.

It's changed her perception of me, clearly, and she's made several comments that have bothered me for a couple reasons.

In either case, the damage is done and there's nothing I can do to stop this shit train from rolling me over.

Without knowing anything, probably better in the long run

@ScriptCoded let's just say it was information related to end of life.

I trusted her enough to not react the way she has. My trust is broken and now I'm going to spend whatever time I have left dealing with this.

What once has been shared can not be made unshared again. But if the fallout proves to be unbearable you can terminate the relationship.

@sariel > "let's just say it was information related to end of life."

What..wait...who's end of life? Yours? Are you sick? Just 'planning ahead'? Her 'end of life' plans?

@PaperTrail I don't want to give more info than I already have.

Just know, if I stop showing up on here in a couple months you know why.

Death is still a stigmatized topic.

I remember the time I sat with my family and an discussion regarding organ donation sparked (tv ran in background with news, several years ago though).

It was ... An heated discussion with - in my opinion - lot of stuff that I didn't expect, as both my parents & sister aren't "dumb". Going into details would take a long time, the very short gist is that they were against it - not out of religious beliefs, but rather "distaste" of being "dissected and harvested" (I think that should be an obvious hint on how the discussion went...).

If it was anything like that, @Sariel , yeah... It changes perspectives and if it catches one off guard, one really needs time to process that.

Wish the topic wasn't so loaded, cause it's an important topic.

@MeowHeart you do realize 12 year olds arent allowed on the platform, right?

@IntrusionCM this is an interesting observation. I think when people fear something like death it makes them cling to their beliefs even more. It could be that they fear something as a result of death (loss of control, destruction of family, etc...) but it always seems to make people dig in. Not saying it was the case in OP's situation or yours, but fear definitely seems to be something that affects people on a deep level when it comes to rational discussion.

I take comfort in the idea that if everything falls apart I'd still have that final option. I'd never consider it under normal circumstances.

I never tell that to anyone in my immediate surroundings though, I'm 100% certain that they'd react with concern and bother me about it. Not sure if I would've told my ex, I don't think he had enough brains to be able to talk about something so heavy.

I'm not sure what you discussed with your wife, whether it's heavier than this, but I think it's a good thing that you at least tried to talk about something so personal to the most important person in your life. It's a shame she reacted that way, but perhaps give it some time? Or perhaps have another serious chat about it?

@sariel > "I don't want to give more info than I already have."

Understood. It's personal, private, and none of a 'random stranger on the internet' business.

Its terrible what you must be going through.

Surrounding yourself with people who love you does help. Family, friends, even a cat...well, maybe not a cat, those things are selfish, lazy little fuzzballs who's ...wait...getting off track.

I would likely be the asshole who would tell you.. Me: "6 months? Pussy. Get your fat ass off the couch and lets make it 12 months."

sariel: "..but I'm not fa..."

Me: "I said get up, you got work to do."

If you're contemplating suicide. Please don't do it. There is so much more to you than the parts of you that got you here.

You can be happy, you deserve to be happy and you will find the way to happiness. Stop worrying about life. And just be.

It does require however that you learn to selectively learn to kill the parts of yourself that harm you. And nurture the parts of you that make you enjoy life.

I'm happy that you told your wife. That means that there is something in you that's willing to keep living.

If I might add. I would strongly suggest you seek therapy. And do it like shopping for cars.

Go "test-drive" some therapists until you find the one that "feels good". I think this will help your wife calm down, and it's going to be good for you.

Be 100% clear with your wife though that you're doing that. That you want to try a few different professionals until you pick one that you're going to work with. So that she doesn't worry when you keep switching therapists.

It is a delicate subject and she's right to be concerned.

I highly recommend you try a few things before kicking the bucket.

Like an orgy for example.

Dying is highly overrated btw.

hahahhaah what a loser.

@sariel sure you still alive?