I've never been diagnosed but I'm certain I have ADHD, I get distracted extremely easily with absolutely "whatever" and it completely destroys my performance, I bet people think I'm dumb when in fact when I'm finally able to concentrate I can do things. It fucking sucks, feels like a curse. I realized I failed college because of this. Now I fear losing my job.

Right now I'm about to embark upon a great night of trying to catch up with shit I should have done earlier, which I *might* be able to focus on. I have no fun in life because I don't allow myself to, I somehow attained a relationship with someone and now that too is going to shambles because I spend so much time *trying* to do things and can't bring myself to doing them, and that time is stolen from that which I should spend with people I love and just enjoying life. I fucking hate this. I fucking hate it.

Also, I have this feature which I'm supposed to implement, and they tell me it's just an MVP which we'll use to test waters to see if people will use the functionality, it just has to work... which it does by now, but then they keep adding things before ever releasing. I feel so anxious about this and I didn't even take the job for good pay because I was desperate to leave another job which wasn't even in development. I don't want to fail this, I want to prosper as a developer. I actually wanted to do systems programming and game development, but here I am doing web shit.

Oh well. I shall throw myself unto thee.

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    You really need to know if you have ADHD, get yourself diagnosed. Once you have that recognised you can then receive the right support and skills required to deal with the issues you are having, it also will help you educate those around you who will stop seeing you as a knob and start being part of the solution, you can help them help you. Let your employers know and what they can do to help you. This will ensure that they can not discriminate against you. You can work this out but the onus is on you to get on top of it. You may not be able to fix everything but you will certainly be able to make significant improvements to set all aspects of your life on a positive footing.
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    I'm in similar position but I don't think that I have ADHD. I'm pretty sure most of us hate been distracted b/c of loosing the flow moments ( mainly the brain model of what you are doing ) and have hard times returning there. If you organize your workplace so it does not have too many distractions you should be able to do the stuff in decent time so you have some time for yourself, loved ones or just relax
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    Also it not an easy task to tell how much progress is enough for a day ( at least to me ). If you spent an hour or two figuring out why something is not working as expected only to find stupid mistake somewhere doesn't mean you have been unproductive, it happen to anyone. You should put yourself a time limit either way, b/c having enough rest is important for productiveness as a whole.
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    Clinically, because ADHD is neurobiological, you don't notice having it, to you, that's how things are.

    For example, when someone with undiagnosed ADHD fails at college, in their mind such failure was caused by anything else but not ADHD, "it wasn't for me", or "I hated it", etc, ad fucking nauseum.

    It's only once medicated for a while and off said meds that one with ADHD MAY start noticing it

    Rule of thumb: You think you got it? Then you probably don't.
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    But ADHD has so MANY symptoms in common with many psychiatric disorders surely it's noticeable! Nope, those symptoms are actual psychiatric comorbidities society gives you along the way for your unusual way of being.
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    I agree with @helloworld that it's best to see a doctor about it.
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    *edit* "You feel you have it? Then you probably don't"
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    yep. better check than in constant doubt
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    @bigmonsterlover it's not like I went "oh, I have ADHD!" at the first failure and the first distraction. It's been like this my whole life, and I only just recently got acquainted with the concept and started to realize this might be my case. I didn't describe the whole context of my life but it's far more serious than some TikToker with the zoomer accent saying "guyzzz, I think I might haaav ADHD???". Yes, I need to go to a doctor and try medication if they, too, suspect I might need it.
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