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C: application not working
Me: k. What changed?
C: we didn't make changes
Me: k... *gets a tech team (W) on the phone*
W: Hey, what's broken?
Me: C's application. How do things look?
W: running healthy. I'll check logs.
Me: thanks. *gets tech team (S) on the line*
S: hey, everything clear on our end, will check logs.
Me: thanks *gets tech team (U)*
U: hey! They asked us to deploy their new version today during normal deployment time. Is it acting up?
Me: C, what did you change?
C: nothing major, just how we connect to W and S...
W&S: are you shitting me???
Me: U, will you please roll it back?
C: no! Must stay on this version, you need to fix your side!!
Me: nope. *calls U boss (UG)*
UG: U, you have my permission to roll back, they need to fix. C, if your boss doesn't like it, have them call me.
*rollback fixes problem*

IF I FUCKING ASK YOU WHAT THE FUCK YOU CHANGED, YOU BETTER TELL ME THE TRUTH, OR I WILL STRIP YOUR CODE OFF OUR FUCKING SYSTEMS AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT. MY JOB IS TO HELP YOU AND YOU NEED TO BACK TO FUCK UP AND NOT GET IN THE WAY OF MY JOB OR YOU WON'T HAVE ONE ANYMORE.

Comments
  • 9
    @Letmecode absolutely true! that is why I subscribed to her rants, great amount of anger and quality 10/10.
  • 28
    @qbasic16 @LetMeCode if I ranted while truly pissed off, it would be incoherent. I let it simmer down a bit to the point where I'm at least speaking a true language rather than just slamming keys on my keyboard. But I'm glad you enjoy my rants.

    That having been said, I'm about to slit these fuckers' dicks off and force them down their throats. I don't give a flying fuck if i "sound too cute to know what I'm talking about," if you want your shit fixed, you'll listen to me, or your application will implode and fart malware all over your over-spec'd and under-used systems.
  • 8
    @LetMeCode "so much anger"... Lol you remind me of Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars. Love it!
  • 4
    I went through this same situation at my former job. Both groups refused to agree with the other group's format and insisted they change their application for the integration communication. There was not overall architect to define the integration message format between the applications, and each team came up with their own format that was never communicated with the other team. And I was the one testing that the integration piece worked and was caught in the middle of the in-fighting. In the end, one of the senior VPs (3 levels about the fighting groups bosses) had to get involved, and had someone not part of either group develop the message format that both groups had to immediately implement. This is what happens when you try to integrate formerly independent applications without having an application suite architect designing how the applications need to talk to each other.
  • 2
    @WildCard9 communication is more than a little important lol. We get people who insist on testing in prod, too, because they're above the rules. this application is one of the ones who tries that with us
  • 3
    I'm afraid of you now
  • 1
  • 5
    @taylorviktorya I really really really really don't want to to make you mad. I'd quite fancy keeping my dick
  • 6
    @epse it's quite simple, don't lie to me and don't stop me from doing my job. 99% of the time I'm the happiest person in the office and I'm more likely to tell you that you're awesome and doing a great job. But I have 0 tolerance for liars and people who get in my way of doing my job.
  • 5
    Ohhh how customers lie.
    Years ago was IT at a school.
    Call: My keyboard isn't working.
    I show up, there's frappacino on the floor.
    "Did you spill something on the keyboard?"
    "No"
    I pick up the keyboard and tilt it over the trash can. Frappacino pours out.
    "Did you spill something on the keyboard"
    "..."
    "..."
  • 3
    @mhudson ... I wish I could buy you a beer for that...
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