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Application has had a suspected memory leak for years. Tech team got developers THE EXACT CODE that caused it. Few months of testing go by, telling us they're resolving their memory leak problem (finally).

Today: yeah, we still need restarts because we don't know if this new deployment will fix our memory leak, we don't know what the problem is.

WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING IN THE LOWER REGIONS FOR THREE FUCKING MONTHS?!?!?! HAVING A FUCKING ORGY???????????????

My friends took the time to find your damn problem for you AND YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS???

It was in lower regions for 3 MONTHS and you don't know how it's impacting memory usage?!?!?! DO YOU WANT TO STILL HAVE A JOB? BECAUSE IF NOT, I CAN TAKE CARE OF THAT FOR YOU. YOU DON'T DESERVE YOUR FUCKING JOB IF YOU CAN'T FUCKING FIX THIS.

Every time your app crashes, even though I don't need to get your highest level boss on anymore for approval to restart your server, I'M GOING TO FUCKING CALL HIM AND MAKE HIM SEE THAT YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT. Eventually, he'll get so annoyed with me, your shit will be fixed. AND I WON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR USELESS ASS ANYMORE.

(Rant directed at project manager more than dev. Don't know which is to blame, so blaming PM)

Comments
  • 15
    Yes, reach out to the highest level boss every time. He will get sick of hearing it and get involved.

    And what's that about an orgy?
  • 10
    @MissDirection fairly certain that's what these assholes have been doing. And not even being kind enough to invite me
  • 8
    @taylorviktorya well next time one breaks out, let me know. It's been a while for me... Lol
  • 3
    Haha love the orgy imagery. Good stuff
  • 3
    Oh damn,acting like the know how to fix or if actually fixed the problem. Good luck dealing with this type of people
  • 9
    @gitpush thanks. At this point, though, I have permission to tell this particular team to choke on a bag of Lego dicks next time they ask me to submit a request for them (as long as I'm professional about it).
  • 2
    @taylorviktorya and keep on bugging their upper management till they reach a point where they avoid you by making their fked up team fix your reports in hope they don't hear from you again. I sometimes find this the best approach to get my shit done lol
  • 3
    @gitpush the good news is, I'm only involved when their application/program/pile of garbage is completely down, so higher boss will know just how badly they fucked up because none of their hundreds to thousands of users can do anything 😇
  • 1
    @taylorviktorya in this case I don't think they were having an orgy down there, but soon they'll get a gang bang and I don't think they will like it lol
  • 3
    @gitpush I still think they were. There's no reason it took 3 months of testing to decide they didn't feel like fixing the issue. A 3 month orgy is the ONLY good excuse for this.

    But no, once he gets mad, they won't like how hard they get fucked. Not many people scare me, but he's on the list.
  • 6
    Choke on a bag of Lego dicks... Yes, you're definitely my idol now @taylorviktorya 😍
  • 3
    Honestly I would prefer it if those guys would stay at home and have their orgy instead of coming to work fuck up my shit and then tell me X is done!
    If you are incapable of doing X then have the balls to admit it. Otherwise even if we are in the same team and you earn much more money than I do... I will keep explaining your boss what you fucked up again...
  • 2
    This is a literary win post!
  • 1
    ☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕❤️
  • 2
    @taylorviktorya The important part is they solve their mess, I hate it when people don't want to be responsible for their own task/job
  • 2
    This rant is totally derailing. And then we wondet why there is an imbalance between the sexes in the tech industry.
  • 2
    @taylorviktorya send me an invite as wel
  • 1
    @NeatNerdPrime how is it derailing?
  • 2
    @gitpush doubtful that they'll fix it. They're leaving to another company soon, we're all THRILLED about it. Might even thigh a party
  • 1
    @Letmecode sure :) I'll let you know when
  • 1
    @zombie01 got it!
  • 1
    @taylorviktorya oooh that feeling when the worst person/team leaves or when you leave that place
  • 2
    @taylorviktorya the orgy thing... In earlier days i would have said 'sure, lets go and make some fun!' ... But with the love of my nowadays the wild loose days are over.

    I'm imagining the title of that orgy video on pornhub :' wild nerdy orgy gangbang'..
  • 1
    @NeatNerdPrime s/he could come with you...
  • 1
    @taylorviktorya oh hell no, she thinks pornography is evil, killing true love... She is really fixated on that, porn equals chearing in her eyes, and orgies and such are completely repulsive... So no, thanks, but maybe some other time...

    Damn i feel sad writing this...
  • 1
    @Letmecode well she is 'my little cockhungry semen demon' ... She want s all that kind of lust and attention focused towards her so i am not really complaining.

    But it is a fundamental difference we have, she thinks it's horrendous, while i think it's quite ok to have in life and within a relationship...
  • 1
    @NeatNerdPrime oof. I'm sorry. She's still probably an awesome person if you're with her, though :)
  • 2
    @taylorviktorya she is indeed, makes the best pies, cakes and brownies i ever tasted! And lots of other good qualities, plus, the most beautiful girl i ever had in my arms....
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