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I mean, you're supposed to feel bad when someone close to you feels bad. It's called empathy. Unless you're a psychopath you will feel like this.
It seems you have identified a problem, but It's not obvious to you how A leads to B here so let me spell it out i guess. If your partner is happy, you will be happy... Thus, you should strive to make your partner happy as well.
So really the question is, do you love her enough, to care and support her, or you don't and you should just break up so neither of you is stuck in a relationship they don't enjoy and have a chance to find someone better suited.
I mean how are you going to react in 2 more years if this is what you think today? You gonna shout at her and blame her for your work, because she doesn't just shut up and has a life of her own? You better solve this, because this could get ugly if you let it boil and drag out in your head -
You can either close off to receive around you so they don't have the power to affect you, or you can take care of your loved ones like they're an extension of yourself.
That being said, how you talk about your girlfriend comes off as very possessive. Remember she's a human being, not your feminine play thing.
I realized that my mood swings based on how my gf behaves. She is one of the few triggers
If she is sad depressed angry or disrespectful towards me i am no longer in a positive mood, it kills the whole vibe. On the contrary if she is happy acts feminine behaves normally and is respectful towards me i also become happy and in a better mood
Bad mood does not stop me from doing my work, but depending on how terribly bad it becomes, it may or may not impact my coding and work life. Since the main and central tool for coding is my brain and mental state, not physical muscles, Once the central part of anyone's tool (thats used to get the job done) is attacked or threatened, it weakens the person's ability to perform as good as they have been, or worse, completely blocks them off from performing well
This is one of my biggest fears; Anyone who's capable, intentionally or not, of weakening the central part of my tool for work (in this case mind and mental state), begins to gain power and leverage over me (hold on this is actually a brilliant idea to have in mind, a malicious way to exploit and leverage the target victim is by attacking the central tool they use to get the work done)
However i am a mentally strong person (due to way too much trauma from school, solving extreme difficulty coding problems, hoes and financial struggles), but it does not help if i am attached to a person who i have feelings towards, a person who became the second half of me, "the better half". It is difficult to reject or all of a sudden stop loving the person who you loved for years or months. Such person can more easily attack my central tool
My question is--does anyone know how to protect the central tool from anyone being able to exploit or weaken it? For example if my gfs bad behavior puts me in a bad mood, how to prevent that from happening? How do i not care? Or how do i care but still not let it affect my mood in a negative light? If that makes sense
rant