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@retoor I'm almost sure he meant he focused on his career rather than being alpha or funny. Didn't focus on his English either, it seems.
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This sounds like it hasn't been about her for a long time. A really long time. At this point, it's only about you and your feelings. Focus on those.
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You can be the most successful, conventionally attractive guy going, but if she doesn't have feelings for you then that's the way it is. Better to know now than be used and dumped later!
Rejection sucks, but it's a part of life and something we all go through. -
Shitty experience OP x
Sounds like you might need to be your own lover and help yourself go through this π
I hope you get back to where you're comfortable (with or without someone) x
This song helped me: https://open.spotify.com/track/... -
@electrineer , @AlmondSauce , @MammaNeedHummus Thanks for the support guys. I haven't had felt this low for quite sometime. These thoughts were all deep buried but came up coz i decided to bid farewell to this girl as she was going out of state for sometime. we rarely met in past 8 years and I don't know what came over me.
guess i need to go back to being a heartless corporate slave.
Its just that i feel that i am neither loved nor loveable .
I see people introducing me to their partners, girlfriends etc , and I feel happy for them . They care for each other, share a laugh, have fights but at the end of the day, have each other.
I on the other hand am lonely. Its not that I just fell for this one girl in last 8 years. I befriended many girls, felt a little liking for them, let them know and they had the same reply: "we should be just friends. I don't have any such feeling" . yeah well, thanks women community for rejecting me altogether :') -
@retoor
> I focused on my career goals than making a funny, alpha-dude personality.
English is not my first language, but afaik, the first part clearly negates the 2nd part of this sentence?
btw, from what i see in real life, tate like guys are getting a lot of attraction and power. Submissive fetish is rising like hell, and not just in relationships. not my taste though.
PS : @electrineer bro you make sick burns XD -
Waqas6671yGoing thru the same but I'm also devastated on the career part.
I'm not sure how to get out of this phase. -
@Nanos wow, you are such an amazing person for reviewing a heartbroken rant so thoroughly. it doesn't even have anything nerdy or technical . massive respect, friend.
> progressive : I am focused on my progress: financial growth, career growth, personal growth. I am progressive in other sense too , but that meaning was not intended here, neither am i asking for some kind of award for being '`that ` progressive'
> what she fell for other guys? well one of the major things that every generic guy with a relationship has: some weird alpha-guy charisma.
One of the 3 people she fell for was in my class 2 years ago before i met him.
He is an awesome guy: decent physical looks (above average height, skinnish-athletic, manly beard) , good in studies, but great confidence, good sense of humour and comic timing, boldness (he would talk to teachers in the mid of class as if they are his friends and everyone including teachers would laugh at his jokes), leading personality -
I have some of the traits and lack the others, but i don't think changing myself and running towards achieving a character like this is the solution. I can never be like this guy, I have not been made funny enough or show a false confidence enough to be a leader like him.
And that brings us back to the original point: in whatever ways my family, my circumstances and my struggles have made me, the end outcome is a crappy piece of bones and flesh that is neither loved nor loveable (at least from my last 25 years of existence experience)
PS : I have a car now. his family was richie rich 10 years ago and he had a lot of daddy cash+ car(s) back then . he might have even more richie rich cash now, but again, am all self made and still a decent earner -
@dotenvironment I feel like this sometimes (unlovable).
But I also remember that even Hitler found a wife π« -
Everyone is so nice to you in this thread totally ignoring the red flags in your post.
You said that you earn more than her family's income. What the fuck dude. You earning more doesn't mean she has an obligation to love/marry you.
You seem to me like an embodiment of a loser that thinks that just because they focused on career and makes tons of money means that girls owe them sex or whatever (love family etc).
Improve your perspective my man. -
retoor120771y@MammaNeedHummus I'm not thinking about love at all. But my age sucks a bit.. 33, if I want to have dem kiddo's I can't afford to be happi single. 32 is not a good age to break down and lose everything. It's the age you should have all
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@SidTheITGuy
I am already down bro. Not trying to exaggerate anything here. neither am i rubbing this fact on her face or telling it in people we know. Its just a simple fact and i said this because i have stopped feeling shy about my earnings.
I worked hard to reach where I am, and this statement was made because i am confident that we will be perfectly capable into giving both of us and our people a great future with our combined salaries.
think about a similar situation where i was a broke guy lamenting about how am not getting love from a girl. at that time, wouldn't this fact be important? she isn't obliged to love/marry me in any case, but me earning good and me feeling confident about my salary will be an important obvious consideration. -
@dotenvironment If you're gonna carry this fact in ur head that u have worked hard to get where you are, every single time u catch feelings for a girl, then you're gonna stay single for a long time.
It's just that I have seen in my experience what guys say when they get broken like this -> "I have big muscles/big cock, money and cars and mansions and she still wouldn't go out with me."
The problem is your attitude and how you scale people. If you say these things here, then I guess it must carry in your regular life conversations.
All I am saying is, try being fun and follow Andrew Tate. @retoor see how I am recruiting this dude lol ? -
@retoor adopt and save yourself the stretch marks.
Can almost guarantee you won't give a shit who's genitals your kids crawled out of when you become a parent π§πΌπ£ -
retoor120771y@SidTheITGuy I actually enjoy the stuff you say. You know very well what you shouldn't do and what's bad. But what's good? For you a secret too I guess
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retoor120771y@MammaNeedHummus I'm sure it doesn't matter much since I already cared a while for a child and that's where the virus started. Learning kids things is so much fun. I archived to give the kid confidence and learning ability shot as rocket in dem air. Before he met me he was challenging on this area. I have this from my dad, he always let us do things other kids were not allowed. Breaking open computers, carrying expensive stuff like professional audio were most children are not trusted with.
I think adoption is bit extreme, my stepmommer adopted three. Two got f-ed up. AFAIK adoption became less available due such stuff.
Problem is that I believe in romantic relationships what I've had a few times. Settling is kinda opposite. The romantic relationships didn't last long and maybe the settled one is easier. I don't know but it's stuff I should think about now. But currently living bit egoistic and liking it. Not ready for partner I guess -
retoor120771y@MammaNeedHummus also - I have the religion a relationship shouldn't cost energy but bring and that it doesn't take a lot of effort. Could explain that my relationships were short. I had perfect partner once but I wanted to focus more on work. What the fuck was wrong with me
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@SidTheITGuy
"Andrew Tate", uh no. Even if he beats the human trafficking charge he is a pos toward women. -
@retoor it does look like he has struggled with the big ear thing. But looks wise he is okay. I think money helps in that department.
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@Demolishun I follow Andrew Tate like normal people cherry-pick portions to follow from the Bible.
I do disagree with many of the things he does. But that doesn't mean I can't agree with what he does say.
Go to the gym, be independent, strive to have a good body or have money, be tough these are the things I agree with. -
retoor120771yDid watch a few Andrew Tate things and some things don't add up.
1. He's a total diva
2. Because you in theory can protect for burglars you expect dem sandwich? Fine, will take them on myself then. What burglars he's talking about anyway?
3. If wasn't driving dem cars he was just a woman unfriendly poz
4. Restricting woman to dem house. Where are you scared for unconfident bitch
I think he's not funny what's one of the most important things -
retoor120771y@SidTheITGuy you have some hard time to find a significant other yourself and actually make use of a system that cares about your wealth (the arrange thing, fine by me btw, thanks for all info regarding that).
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@retoor wow, making an image of me just from the information I gave you cherry-picked from my life.
Little disappointed with that but eh, what do I care.
Also, arrange marriage isn't something that "people who fail to find a partner" go for. It might be a new concept given your cultural backgrounds but it is a very "tried and tested" way to get married.
I don't think any less of myself going for it, be it love or arranged marriage. All of my cousins, relative cousins have gone for arranged marriage and they seem the same as any other couple out there. -
retoor120771y@SidTheITGuy I think I said something very right and that's the thing you're mad about while I didn't had any negative meaning to it. Instead of stating it you run. Could you have handled the stuff you said to dotenvironment yourself is my question now
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retoor120771y@SidTheITGuy I said you're giving advise while not having luck on that area yourself. That's not true? I'm not saying there's something wrong with you. I'm just direct, kinda how you are to dem dotenvironment
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@retoor Okay, about me advising OP. If you read my first comment on this thread, you will see me calling out OP's red flags showing him that there could be a side of things he's not paying attention to.
Now about me having no luck in this area myself. If you take a look at my rant history I have shared snippets of how my life is with women. If I wanted to date anyone I could do it tomorrow. But I don't want to. I'd rather get married and settle down.
Now the part of why I'm mad. I gave you an in-depth explanation of how arranged marriages work and you twisted it to infer that I am unable to find a partner which is why I'm going this way.
You saying that leaves me with no comebacks. Whether I say I get loads of women or I don't, I lose in both cases sounding like a salty guy on the internet. That's just how the internet works.
Thing is, I tagged you alongside Andrew Tate expecting a funny reaction out of you but it turned into me being unable to find a partner myself.
!dev !tech
if someone doesn't wanna love you, they will not, no matter what you do.
i love this girl so much for last 8 years . but back then she said she has no feelings nd today too she has no feelings. she fell for different guys but not me.
i am a good natured, progressive , growing person. i focused on my career goals than making a funny, alpha-dude personality and today i earn decent nd achieved a good number of things. i am earning more than her family's total income, i love her and am willing to give her my everything nd yet... no feelings.
she told one of our common friends that our vibe doesn't match. i don't know what that means. i am just devastated to feel so much for someone π
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