What?

My proudness accomplishment?

My relationship with my sibling

I didn't become a developer to be legacy's bitch. But we're all legacy's bitch.

I want to roam free. I want to piss in the rain and sing at strlen. I don't want to be in corporate meetings anymore.

I don't want to contort my ideas and good intentions to fit legacy's ugly painting.

I want to be free.

Please let coding be fun again.

I process more tickets than a brothel car park ticket machine

Being a developer for nearly 5 years now (that's gone too fast!!) has made me suspicious of the reliability of third-party technologies and how often "sods law" likes to creep up on people at the worst times it can.
So much so I found that I caught myself earlier putting this in an email to my solicitors fearing the pending wire transfer I'll have to do soon (goodbye savings!):

Maybe there's nothing good left on this place because there's nothing good left in being a dev

I need to pull a few rabbits out of my arse on Monday and I don't have enough executive function points to do it all 🥺

I'm caked as a bake

https://devrant.com/rants/8161113/...

Getting into a bed with fresh sheets after a long shower is heaven

Not many things would get me out of bed rn

Homemade crusty bread and a pot of my favourite hummus. Heaven 🤤

I can feel myself becoming more intolerant of people wasting my time and I'm in half a mind to do nothing about it.

Maybe they won't bother me if I'm not my perky self 🔪😱

I've outgrown the pound

There's deep solace for me in knowing devrant, and particularly its icker users (👀), will be dead in the ground in 60-70 years 🪦⚰️🥀

All this will be gone and deleted like a footprint on a beach.

Say what you wanna say people - unless you're not a kind person

I want a job where I'm left to just refactor a horrible legacy codebase and make it easy to change

There are too many ads. So many. Everywhere

I think it's kinda cool that almost all of my work _could_ be done within a browser (IDE, docker, etc, etc..)

I'm happy as I am but I like the option

No fuck off we don't need a team meeting about it.

We shouldn't need to go in front of a panel to begin with, let us get on with our job and let us automate the shit so sprint planning wouldn't be so difficult

I went too fast for Monday, now I have nothing left for the week

This is going to be a rough one

Maybe the reason there's not enough hours in the days is because we came from a world where the days were longer?

Share your bangers🤘in this thread 🧵

I'll go first 😏

Today I was told I can't use the word retrofit in a sentence because I have to 'use words a nice year old would understand'

There's being an effective communicator and then there's becoming a soulless, creativity killing nazi

Fuck, I just love hummus

Could eat this whole pot 🤤🍯

Fuck drinking is so fun

I've just been asked to give my opinion of a dev as they're on the chopping block.

I don't want people to loose their jobs over my verdict 🫠

Any advice?

Any of you fuckers want to meet up?

London is good for me.

Hummus wants to meet

I wish they had acceptance criteria for CVs - don't want to write mine again 🫠

Humans only live for eighty years (average).

What percentage are you the way through yours?

You must be knackered 🧓

If you wanted my number you could have just asked handsome 😘

@shovethisrant

I thought any fledgling dev could become a good one with enough team guidance, frequent discussion on ideas and reasoning with seniors, experience, and work variety

But one I know is proving they don't have the knack.

I really wanted to believe anyone could be a good dev if they tried hard enough but this one is just...

They've dragging us down.
Not paid enough to make it my problem to raise it with management. I've tried to help them grow but I've never seen such slow growth despite the different learning/teaching styles *we've* done to improve their capabilities (the entire team)

I dread working with them and I'm not alone apparently

And so it starts

Happy New Year's fuckers! 😁😘