8
NoMad
301d

Repeat/repost:

Unfortunately I do not own a drop of what is conventionally known as confidence or ego. It applies to everything; work, skills, relationships, friendships, you name it. I can estimate my chances of succeeding, and sometimes be pretend-delulu for a purpose (you gotta admit, sometimes showmanship is the biggest asset) but I don't understand confidence. In my opinion, it's just a gross overestimation of one's chances.

So this project/paper thing, I feel like I'm blind and running in the forest. I am not counting on my boss, nor am I counting on anyone in the dept to give me clarity or decent feedback. ("Cutting edge" research issues. Not anybody's fault.)

And I guess, in the worst case scenario the paper will be rejected, which would be a setback but not a full failure.

... Actually, that's not the worst case. The worst case would be someone running a peer review and finding that I made a tiny mistake and all my results are bullshit. 🤦

... Anxiety is eating me alive rn. 🤢

Comments
  • 2
    Three people have so far read the paper. Not one of them was convinced by my proposed method. Although they all had positive-ish feedback.
  • 2
    Just keep swimming
  • 0
    ".. Actually, that's not the worst case. The worst case would be someone running a peer review"

    Try explicitly asking people to find fault. No really.

    Ask them to find the flaws. It's almost like a brainhack. Gives them permission to be critical, when many people struggle with finding the right line or balance, clarifies what you're actually after, while instantly making you appear both humble and weirdly confident.

    if its good, then the deafening silence will be proof it is good.
  • 0
    also, finally: treat all feedback from everyone as if its feedback from subordinates you're training. You see when asking for criticism, a lot of people will resort to nitpicks either because they can't verify/effectively critique the work, or can't be bothered to delve deep.

    When you get feedback like that you say "well I was looking for something more indepth, deconstructing the work. I was hoping for more substantial criticism".

    Pulls double duty b/c an invite to criticism often just devolves into a tear-down party. This invites actual criticism, while dismissing out of hand anyone that might use it for some sort of antisocial pickmeup which is actually pretty common. "That can never work." is the summarization of a lot of basic responses, and is as almost as reflexive as sneezing for a subset of people, complete doubt from the get go without actually thinking. So you want to shut that down right out the gate while inviting real critics in, who become your best supporters.
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