hoop: – "masterkey" is not okay. Please replace all instances of "master" immediately #WeValueInclusivity

cprn: – Just to clarify, "master" in this context is standard (as in "master key" in databases). It's not intended to be offensive. Replacing could affect functionality. Call to talk more?

hoop: – STOP overthinking, just change it. I DON’T CARE, JUST DO WHAT I SAY. #DoItForTheCulture

cprn: – Got it. You want me to replace every instance of "master" in the codebase, including comments and variable names. Just confirming?

hoop: – YES. NO EXCEPTIONS. #MoveForward

PR Update: Replacing all instances of "master" as requested. Please, verify before accepting.

hoop: – Perfect. Now we’re on the right track. 👏

After 2 failed attempts at explaining, I blindly replaced all instances of "master" with "boss", and hand-delivered my letter of resignation. I left them with "complied with your request, have fun figuring it out". It was 2 years ago, and I was the last coder who knew that system after a big merger.