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When you install Java it says "3 billion devices run java"
Well I'm not sure how many of those devices actually respond11 -
He's stop writing Java because he thinks Java is inelegant. He write PHP instead.
Am I still on earth? 🤔28 -
So I've got a friend learning Java, using Eclipse.
I walk in one day and see him restarting his computer. I make nothing of it. Few minutes later, he's restarting again.
I jokingly say "Windows update?"
He responds with the straightest face ever: "No, compiling code."
Apparently he thought you needed to restart the computer before compiling.
Not sure if I should be mortified or laughing my ass off.5 -
My new year's resolution:
- Learn more Java
- Build a web server with Java
- Make a 3D game with no frameworks in Java
- Make a simple Android app with java
- Try JavaOS
- Tell people I know Java13 -
What?!?
There is an ^= operator in Java for booleans. I have been programming in Java for 4 years now and never knew this. Like b ^= true will flip b.
Mind blown; this is the greatest thing ever14 -
java - - version
Unrecognized operation: - - version
FUCK!!!
java - version
java version "1.x...."
EVERY FUCKING TIME!!!
Why Java, WHY?!?!? 😭
Every other tool uses - - version ❤️9 -
After heck a lot of hours of debugging my Java code which looked all right, found out my mistake was just using == instead of equals()
5 -
After a long time in .NET and JavaScript, I have returned to Java today. I was quite happy about it for a few minutes!3
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I was once at my uncle's 40th birthday party and bored to hell, so he gave me a book that was supposed to be "Python for kids". I started reading it and soon fell in love with programming.
Since then I've often learned new programming languages by reading books or lately mostly the internet.
My books here should be in chronological order:
7 -
Either I bumped my head really hard, I’ve died and I’m in hell, or something crazy because I’m actually kinda enjoying Java.19
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Java in 2000: Just to be clear, JavaScript is not my kid
Java in 2020: Just to be clear, JavaScript is not my dad7 -
Some 40 years old guy on the bus talking with his younger colleague: "If you learn Java, you know Javascript. Javascript is just more compact Java."18
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"I decided to write the core software for my Time Machine in Java. It's Date API is so error free and easy to use."
As the legend goes, the scientist is trapped in another dimension between Timezones.
#thanksjava4 -
The biggest annoyance in Java for me is the absence of "real" properties. Writing getters and setters everywhere is ugly, you are generating them anyways.7
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Went in to the therapist today. Their impression is I'm likely okay. Wait until I show them the cluster fuck that is Java Enterprise. 🙃11
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"Java uninstalling itself Windows 7"
https://superuser.com/q/1492961/...
The garbage collector is working! :D3 -
been a minute since i did one of these. this design was made using figma. suggestions, comments, and feedback all welcome!
15 -
Why don't people like Java? With only a year of AP comp sci for experience, I don't know enough about it to say I do or don't like it. But it's widely used, and is an official language of Android. Are the people hating on Java just people that don't use it? Or is there something about Java that people just genuinely despise?36
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Java
It's my favorite language because I started learning programming in Java when I was in school.
The most annoying thing in Java is I don't feel like writing System.out.println each time.12 -
I was assigned my first ever huge software project in college (a complex board game made in only pure java) and was assigned a group by my professor. Since I'm doing well in the class, I was given kids who want me to teach them everything (from GitHub to simple oop) on top of programming most of the system because they can't or don't want to. So to make things easier I gave out some relatively simple and specific jobs in GitHub using the issues system that apparently nobody reads. Thankfully one person decided to take initiative and start their feature but one commit later the entire system crashed and everything is broken FML can't wait to program this entire thing by myself.
5 -
Java is kind of like teenage sex--everyone is always talking about it, but in reality they don't even know what they're talking about.
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-Yeah sure, I'll adjust to java pretty quickly. Have been working with C# for years.
Narrator- But little did he know that how much Java differs.9 -
Once I didn't knew anything about coding or development.
Someone suggested me to start with Java.
Still looking for that Mada-foker.5 -
This whole week I’ve been writing Java (for the first time) and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a horrible language, written by horrible people, for the purpose of making other people’s lives horrible.
Fuck Java 🙂9 -
Currently working on a simple, front-end UI project that is actually a bet with a friend and that means a whole load of CSS 💀 Anyways, decided that an element didn’t look so good and decided to fuck around with its positioning. I proceed to change one value and I kid you not, the whole fucking screen distorts and all the other elements end up somewhere else. I obviously smash the Ctrl-Z right away and had to take a good look at everything in my code. Now I just resort to "border: 1px solid red;" around something if its acting fishy 🤷🏻♀️14
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>Be me
>About to finish large-ish GUI program in Java
>Finish coding program
>Be happy that you finally finished
>Go to test the program
> Doesn't start
>Get concerned
>Debug the code for hours on end to find out why it isn't working
>Find that you were missing a semi-colon the whole time
>Yell into a pillow
>Go to devRant to rant about it11 -
CS prof comes over and asks me to explain my final project and to look over my code etc. Shes generally rude and starts going "mhm, yeah, ok" without even looking up and then asks to test my output.
Well fuck. My program works except for a couple shitty bugs that I’d just found out about two minutes ago. One of them was that it would crash every time the user simply pressed enter when asked for input. So here I am, hoping to fuck that doesn’t happen or else there goes 10% from this mark. It happens (obviously w/ my luck). She goes "oh" and continues to write shit down while I sit there cringing internally. Then with a quick fake ass "thank you" she walks away and I slowly turn back in my chair to my monitors and to my sad sad code.
The next day, I find out the result. 95%. And it still crashes to this day whoops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1 -
Back in the late 90's when I got started in my career - had a boss that didn't known the difference between Java and JavaScript. I made the mistake of trying to explain the difference. If you can keep the boss in the dark and get away with it - do it. Ignorance is bliss.1
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Cheers to those Java developers who think they will be richer than PHP developers because Java has a more complex syntax.11
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just switched to Zsh from Bash as my default shell and it has me wondering why i didn’t do this sooner! definitely looking forward to exploring all its features as i use it more8
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Anybody remember when we actually spent time writing code instead of debugging the tools? Specially the gazillion of crap that's out there for fucking Java shit?11
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Wtf java.. You can't just fucking make java paid.. This is not acceptable assholes. Although I don't use java now for many good reasons. But I always had respect for it. And I used to use it.
9 -
sub teacher came in for today’s class. we’ve been sitting here for 30 minutes now because windows decided it was a fine morning for system updates and it’s only at about 13%. how’s your thursday morning been?2
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anyone else code randomly in their mind even when they’re not in front of a monitor or just doing random shit in their everyday life. like for example the other day i was writing something down on a (completely) blank piece of paper and started quite a bit away from the edges and in my mind i was like "just set the padding to 30px" or yesterday when i almost slept in and immediately thought "oh shit, forgot to call setMorningAlarm()". whenever i’m out and about and come across something cool i try to figure out how it must work code-wise in my head. and if it’s not that, it’s always usually something to do with my own problems i’m having in my program - usually the solution pops up in the most random moments like when i’m getting ready to leave or sitting in class.10
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New on HS Robotics team (we went to worlds last year —> we’re good). I come from France.
The lead programmer say that we are gonna stop coding the robot in Java and start C++ this year, so naturally I’m excited!
Lead programmer just told us we’re actually staying with Java... fuck.4 -
Started doing Java because i thought it had much better libraries than C++ .Now after doing it , still not able to decide whether to stick with Fucking Java or with that Fucking C++ LOL.35
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teaching myself Java servlets
ide refuses to recognize my tomcat server
me: ...... no one's using java servlets right?
*nods to self, gets up and leaves laptop*4 -
Saying Java is good because it works on every operating system, is like saying anal sex is good, because it works with every gender!10
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CIA – Computer Industry Acronyms
CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well.2 -
i just saw what i’m pretty sure is the most hideous code i’ve ever come across. absolutely no indentation, extra brackets everywhere that serve no purpose, useless comments and whatnot. then he comes asking for help as to why "it’s not working" 🤦🏻♀️ no thanks, there’s no way in hell i was gonna weed thru that shit. your mess is yours5
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why the hate on java? ok, i'm only studying applied computer sciences for a year now, we mainly saw java /javascript and i like them. personally i worked with python, c, c#, php, swift too but i still don't see the problem with java4
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Just this morning -
Me: *looking through some ways to implement something in a current project*
Also me to my brother: I might pick up some PHP, you know, learn Laravel, it could help
My brother from just outside the room: I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that
:| Needless to say, I picked a different approach after some more digging lol10 -
coded a java program in eclipse throws back error .
Know that program is correct.
Created a new project file copy pasted the code, wolaa.. executed.
:/5 -
For all the hate that Java gets, this *not rant* is to appreciate the Spring Boot/Cloud & Netty for without them I would not be half as productive as I am at my job.
Just to highlight a few of these life savers:
- Spring security: many features but I will just mention robust authorization out of the box
- Netflix Feign & Hystrix: easy circuit breaking & fallback pattern.
- Spring Data: consistent data access patterns & out of the box functionality regardless of the data source: eg relational & document dbs, redis etc with managed offerings integrations as well. The abstraction here is something to marvel at.
- Spring Boot Actuator: Out of the box health checks that check all integrations: Db, Redis, Mail,Disk, RabbitMQ etc which are crucial for Kubernetes readiness/liveness health checks.
- Spring Cloud Stream: Another abstraction for the messaging layer that decouples application logic from the binder ie could be kafka, rabbitmq etc
- SpringFox Swagger - Fantastic swagger documentation integration that allows always up to date API docs via annotations that can be converted to a swagger.yml if need be.
- Last but not least - Netty: Implementing secure non-blocking network applications is not trivial. This framework has made it easier for us to implement a protocol server on top of UDP using Java & all the support that comes with Spring.
For these & many more am grateful for Java & the big big community of devs that love & support it. -
Motherfucking 'oops'
https://news.kynosarges.org/2018/...
I can already taste the tears of java devs.
#hateme7 -
To all fellow Java devs out there. Remember the Java life: "We code hard in the cubicle"
https://youtu.be/b-Cr0EWwaTk -
I feel like more than half of the time i spend coding Java is actually writting system.out.println().
I mean come on ! Who got time for that ?!5 -
Am at a Hackathon and am being judged for coding in Java, and I have been relegated to developing the front end. I feel judged.6
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i’ve always felt that this is possibly one of the few professions in which holding a degree is almost as if it’s a personal preference because you can do just fine without one as well. having a skillset and experience, along with something tangible to show for it should be enough to make you employable. and while a degree can definitely contribute to these things, i don’t think it is necessary.
as always, these are simply my personal opinions and what i believe when it comes to this issue.
i am not shitting on anybody who holds a degree in this field; my intentions are not to berate anyone who chose to extend their education through post-secondary. i understand that different people have different aspirations and that for some, getting a degree is necessary in order to get to where they are trying to go.
but what really puzzles me is how in some cases there can be a higher preference for the individual who simply has a degree over one who doesn’t, regardless of the fact that the latter might have better demonstrable skills, whether it’s interpersonal or software or both. since when did a piece of paper suddenly make someone more qualified to do things that i am also perfectly capable of doing? which developer is more likely to help build better, more secure systems - the one who’s truly passionate and has a substantial amount of knowledge and experience in the subject or someone who’s simply in it for the money, or because of outside influences, because "it’s in", or whatever the reason may be?
yes, it is equally possible, and perhaps even likely, for both people to have these things and possess these qualities but that’s not always the case and it’s these cases which i’m referring to.
there are already a great number of mediocre devs out there, and relatively less extraordinary ones. and i don’t think the process to become one can take place in just a classroom.
i say this as i’m just starting university, and personally know quite a few people who would like to enter the field for these reasons.
what it makes me question is the extent to which a degree really would be useful for me personally. am i wrong to consider myself a competent developer even without a degree? am i wrong to consider myself a competent developer just because of my degree?
i’m curious as to know what your thoughts on this are6 -
Java Dev: "Does Josh's team own this java service?"
Scrum Master: "They did the dev work but we own it."
Java Dev:
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I have just learned java language. Can anyone tell me some small projects that will help me as a beginner?10
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I thought I was decent at Java until I saw it in action over an internship this summer... is it always so complicated or do I have more to learn?2
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No one loves Java as much as Google and Oracle. They are willing to have a battle in court. Or maybe it is just that $9 billion 😂😂😝
But on a serious note as a former paralegal "I don't think copyright should be applied on a programming language " plus, I feel like even if it is applied... google is using java in it's own way (android) as the courts have stated that you can't copyright a language syntax or API definition. So Google can use the Java langauge syntax and core Java API freely on Android.
I don't know about you but, a lot of clients do bring up their concerns..on what the implications are for them and their company developing mobile apps!!
Any updates? Concerns? Thoughts?4 -
The best part is the satisfaction you get when you see the thing you've worked on for a long time being used and making people happy.
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When some colleague ask for help in a project that you're supposed to know everything but you really don't (damn multi threading in Java )4
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Hadn't touched Java for more than a year, had to refresh it back. Probably learnxinyminutes is enough?2
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Who says Java is platform independent? Here I can't easily move a project to different device on same platform.3
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Why does java have so many nonsensical limitations? Why? Why can't we have multiple heritage? Why can't we have friend classes? Why can't we make static abstract methods? Oracle, PLEASE.9
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I'm looking for advice on building a cross-platform java library for embedded devices, where I want the same framework for all devices, but some hardware is incompatible.
Should I make this thing multi-part, where the framework is the "core library" and hardware-specific parts are add-ons?3 -
So, a year ago we started to learn java at school. Since I have started learning java I hated it. I don't know why, but I absolutely don't like java. Do you guys agree? I want to like java, but I have no reasons why, anyone has some tips?9
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Screw Java. Spent the last two days in this language and it's driving me to fits. Tried making a generic function. Java can't seem to easily handle generic typed arrays. Java threw a fit when I converted an array function to an integer function. Java has all this stupid boilerplate code that you put on every stupid thing.
Programming in Java is about as pleasurable as running face first into a brick wall.2 -
I've just tried those streams of Java 8. And I can't understand, how on Earth I didn't try them before. They're magnificent.
Hovewer I have some doubts about using them in production. I think no one else will be able to understand what code with streams do.2 -
“Data structures”... More like “i hate java so much and i am thinking of dropping outta college and live in a cave where i never have to see a monitor ever again.” Am i right?3
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Will you pay for JAVA? This is really funny now that .NET is open source and free. We went the other way around.
https://dev.karakun.com/java/2018/...3 -
Is it wrong that I hate Java?
I tried learning it before, couldn't get myself to, I thought there was something wrong with me, maybe im not open to learning new languages
Then I got introduced to F#, Loved it! Even moved portions of pet projects to it
Looked at Java again
Still hate it.
Advice?2 -
What is the use of Java nowadays besides Android? I rarely see Desktop apps written in Java and backends are developed more efficientl with django, node.js ,etc... just think about it setting up spring boot and all the warnings and errors...4
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Java is the worst shit ever
This works:
int a = 4;
a *= 4.0;
This doesnt:
int a = 4 * 4.0;
:)))))))))))))
Makes sense10 -
There was a rare footage of aliens using java to fly their ufo, well then i guess thats why android was built on top of java
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I have coded in Java from like two years but just now out of nowhere a thought came to my mind.
Why do we need to use "java SomeClass" to run code of SomeClass and why not "java SomeClass.class" ? What difference does it make? 🤔 -
Boss asked me to find out good beginner java course for the new n00b colleagues. Help me out please.7
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Idk why but whenever I seem to code anything in Java, my hands stumble all over my keyboard and I end up back spacing more than writing ActUAL code
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So yeah I just had Ubuntu show me two errors directly after startup, then claiming that there is a programming error in aptdaemon and then IntelliJ crashing because of a read-only FS.
After rebooting my VM im faced with a BusyBox prompt saying my disk is corrupted. Fuck VMWare. This is not the first time the disk in my VM got corrupted. -
Since I have learned Java I was taught that Java only passes by value. But my Uni Professor discusses that Java is passed by reference for object and string. I am really confused right now and need some advice.15
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I'm not going to pickup Java no matters what. I'm moving from tech giant to advertising field which I can avoid Java. I like to develop things quick and see the impacts straight away, that can be done using php, node.js. Not Java. Life is too short for Java.3
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Going to a crash course Java event tonight. Not sure how enthusiastic I should be based on some of your rants 🤔2
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Question for java masters, can you please show me the java mastering degrees
Example : Java, Java Gui, Java Jdbc .....
Thank you7 -
It seems Java on Linux runs slower than Windows... Same code takes about 2x longer to run. And well this code is for a batch job...
Does anyone have experience with JVM tuning/optimization or can confirm/disprove this is the case?23 -
Hey, I'm new to java. I was just practicing and found that don't know how to use Date to get an input. Any easy way? Searched almost for an hour. Help!1
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