Java Joke......

Choosing Java because it works on all platforms, is THE worst reason

When you install Java it says "3 billion devices run java"

Well I'm not sure how many of those devices actually respond

You know you have hired a Python programmer do Java when .....

3 billion devices run Java.......

Java 🎉

Java vs. JavaScript

Fuck Java.

Java running on my machine.

Java<3

Java security applied.

When you first start learing development patterns on Java

Working in Java be like.

Do you program in Java?

Bringing back the Java in JavaScript!

He's stop writing Java because he thinks Java is inelegant. He write PHP instead.

Am I still on earth? 🤔

Java + Python = Kotlin?
😂😂😂

So I've got a friend learning Java, using Eclipse.
I walk in one day and see him restarting his computer. I make nothing of it. Few minutes later, he's restarting again.
I jokingly say "Windows update?"
He responds with the straightest face ever: "No, compiling code."

Apparently he thought you needed to restart the computer before compiling.
Not sure if I should be mortified or laughing my ass off.

Don't like where Java is going

My new year's resolution:
- Learn more Java
- Build a web server with Java
- Make a 3D game with no frameworks in Java
- Make a simple Android app with java
- Try JavaOS
- Tell people I know Java

Say no to java xD

java - - version
Unrecognized operation: - - version

FUCK!!!

java - version
java version "1.x...."

EVERY FUCKING TIME!!!

Why Java, WHY?!?!? 😭

Every other tool uses - - version ❤️

When a recruiter puts Java in a job spec when they mean JavaScript

What?!?

There is an ^= operator in Java for booleans. I have been programming in Java for 4 years now and never knew this. Like b ^= true will flip b.

Mind blown; this is the greatest thing ever

Interviewed a guy for Java Developer.

He didn't managed to explain his hello world program.

:') :D

He won't be giving java interview anytime soon

The floor is java

java jokes

Me after 3 days of trying to figure out c++:

"Fuck it I'm using java"

How does a Java dev cut his hair?

Eclipse it

Getting shit from everyone for liking Java.

java garbage collector...

Damn you java...!!;!

Being a Java dev...

"Java is like javascript"

Java Monsters in the house?

After heck a lot of hours of debugging my Java code which looked all right, found out my mistake was just using == instead of equals()

Inheritance in Java

Java and android studio..

After a long time in .NET and JavaScript, I have returned to Java today. I was quite happy about it for a few minutes!

Oh Java, go have Java ☕

stackoverflow these days:

How to [land a rocket on Mars] using java 8 streams?

Java 😂😂😂

7 billion devices run Java... And that street too

I was once at my uncle's 40th birthday party and bored to hell, so he gave me a book that was supposed to be "Python for kids". I started reading it and soon fell in love with programming.
Since then I've often learned new programming languages by reading books or lately mostly the internet.
My books here should be in chronological order:

How inheritance works in java

When they say java but they mean javascript

Thanks java

Kotlin or java?

“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

very long pause….

“Java.”

Java is too verbose? Pff, noooo...

C++ VS Java

Either I bumped my head really hard, I’ve died and I’m in hell, or something crazy because I’m actually kinda enjoying Java.

java java = new java("java");

// java

Java in 2000: Just to be clear, JavaScript is not my kid

Java in 2020: Just to be clear, JavaScript is not my dad

C++ vs Java 😂

why tf java internship requires me to have a knowledge of a 3+ years experienced java developer!?

If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

Some 40 years old guy on the bus talking with his younger colleague: "If you learn Java, you know Javascript. Javascript is just more compact Java."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

*long pause*

Java!

Java... 😑

If Java had a decent garbage collector, it would have collected itself years ago...

147 Day to release Java 9! Are you ready ??😎

Screw Java.

Java as Pikachu

Java and his brother..

Cup of Java + workspace

The biggest annoyance in Java for me is the absence of "real" properties. Writing getters and setters everywhere is ugly, you are generating them anyways.

"I decided to write the core software for my Time Machine in Java. It's Date API is so error free and easy to use."

As the legend goes, the scientist is trapped in another dimension between Timezones.

#thanksjava

Java 11 is out!

Install java

Went in to the therapist today. Their impression is I'm likely okay. Wait until I show them the cluster fuck that is Java Enterprise. 🙃

Knock knock.
Who's there?
*5 second pause*
Java

When I work with Java Swing for a school homework

Java is cool

C++ vs Java

You know you are screwed when your colleague in a Java project asks you how to create two different constructors on the same class.

Java 0 | Python 1

I just figured out what most of the 3 billion devices running java would be. Sim and credit cards

An old one, but still pretty funny 😂

If Java had true Garbage Collection, it would delete itself.

i was talking with a senior developer and...

...i realized...

...every single thing you people trashtalked against java, was a delusional lie.

That fantastic feeling when you switch from java to python.

#Java#Things

The time when your student pronounces "Java" as "Jaba". \/00\/

Why don't people like Java? With only a year of AP comp sci for experience, I don't know enough about it to say I do or don't like it. But it's widely used, and is an official language of Android. Are the people hating on Java just people that don't use it? Or is there something about Java that people just genuinely despise?

A kid in highschool asked what are the similarities between Java and Javascript. I told him:

"Java is to JavaScript what Car is to Carpet."

Java
It's my favorite language because I started learning programming in Java when I was in school.
The most annoying thing in Java is I don't feel like writing System.out.println each time.

Java is a nightmare.

Java gives me weird habits;

this is Brian
Brian is a Java architect
be like Brian

I was assigned my first ever huge software project in college (a complex board game made in only pure java) and was assigned a group by my professor. Since I'm doing well in the class, I was given kids who want me to teach them everything (from GitHub to simple oop) on top of programming most of the system because they can't or don't want to. So to make things easier I gave out some relatively simple and specific jobs in GitHub using the issues system that apparently nobody reads. Thankfully one person decided to take initiative and start their feature but one commit later the entire system crashed and everything is broken FML can't wait to program this entire thing by myself.

Choosing java as my interview language over python. Still suspicious. 😓😓

Getting a Java Null Pointer Exception

Seriously, Fuck JAVA.

Java is kind of like teenage sex--everyone is always talking about it, but in reality they don't even know what they're talking about.

-Yeah sure, I'll adjust to java pretty quickly. Have been working with C# for years.

Narrator- But little did he know that how much Java differs.

Started learning Java, already hate it....

Programming Language: Java vs JavaScript

This whole week I’ve been writing Java (for the first time) and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a horrible language, written by horrible people, for the purpose of making other people’s lives horrible.

Fuck Java 🙂

Once I didn't knew anything about coding or development.
Someone suggested me to start with Java.

Still looking for that Mada-foker.

Why do java programmers wear glasses?

They can't see sharp.

Java is future ☕️☕️

Java : JavaScript :: Car : Carpet

>Be me
>About to finish large-ish GUI program in Java
>Finish coding program
>Be happy that you finally finished
>Go to test the program
> Doesn't start
>Get concerned
>Debug the code for hours on end to find out why it isn't working
>Find that you were missing a semi-colon the whole time
>Yell into a pillow
>Go to devRant to rant about it

Be like java..😜

Java <3

I love Java...

...script!

Back in the late 90's when I got started in my career - had a boss that didn't known the difference between Java and JavaScript. I made the mistake of trying to explain the difference. If you can keep the boss in the dark and get away with it - do it. Ignorance is bliss.

Learning Java.

Iterating HashMaps

That is all...

Java is not Javascript

I really dont understand the hate for Java, people specially showing on devRant. Java is such a beautiful language. Im ready to take on the negatives if Java loses. Java lovers can put ++ and hater can hit --. Let's see the results at the end of the week.

Still not loving Java

I'm switching from dot net to java, feel like newbie :-/

Handicapped in Java

Java versions till now !

Explain the 'Script' to Java. Why the Fuck would you want to do so?

When I started learning Java, I thought my lecturer was asking me to speak in Indonesian

When a Java nullptrexception is not reproducible.

Rivalry of 21st century

Java v/s Python

Java developers
how much time did it take from you to learn Java ?

I'd learn Java..

Java - Everyone hates it

Ternary operator in Java, because damn it looks so slick

Honestly Fuck JAVA,

Don't have anything else to say now...

Learning Java < Death.

When u try Java and fall in love with It. :'v

"at org.eclipse.jetty.util.thread.strategy.EatWhatYouKill.runTask(..."

What? Java, what? 😕😕😕

Sure its java😂😂

Cheers to those Java developers who think they will be richer than PHP developers because Java has a more complex syntax.

What is Java?

ah yes, i'm a VERY kinky Java dev

my favorite NSFW act is naming my java variables shorter than their data types

Going to python from using java. I miss ;

Wtf java.. You can't just fucking make java paid.. This is not acceptable assholes. Although I don't use java now for many good reasons. But I always had respect for it. And I used to use it.

I FUCKING LOVE JAVA

This jewel piece of code in Java:

if(String.valueOf(var1.toString( ) ).equalsIgnorecase(String.valueOf(var2.toString())){
//fuck something else here
}
String var1; //defined somewhere
String var2; //defined somewhere in the code

At this point I am not even mad 😂😂

I got 99 problems and java is all of them.

Learning teh Java Scripts

Java and JavaScript are as similar as Car and Carpet

When you talk about cocktails but you're a Java developer and you're struggling to not say Mockito.

Anybody remember when we actually spent time writing code instead of debugging the tools? Specially the gazillion of crap that's out there for fucking Java shit?

Found some Java over there...

What is the difference between Integer and int in Java? Void and void?

When Java exceptions mean nothing

First Rant. Learning Java. No previous experience. Headache. Fun!

HTTP requests in Java... 💀

CIA – Computer Industry Acronyms

CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well.

There should be a competition for java developers where they compete to generate the longest stack trace.
#javasucks

I sometimes type === in Java.. Too much JS on my mind.

Started doing Java because i thought it had much better libraries than C++ .Now after doing it , still not able to decide whether to stick with Fucking Java or with that Fucking C++ LOL.

teaching myself Java servlets
ide refuses to recognize my tomcat server
me: ...... no one's using java servlets right?
*nods to self, gets up and leaves laptop*

- Daddy, tell me a joke!
- Java type safe generics, son.

New on HS Robotics team (we went to worlds last year —> we’re good). I come from France.
The lead programmer say that we are gonna stop coding the robot in Java and start C++ this year, so naturally I’m excited!

Lead programmer just told us we’re actually staying with Java... fuck.

Saying Java is good because it works on every operating system, is like saying anal sex is good, because it works with every gender!

I didn't knew you could buy java

"knock knock"
"who's there"
...five minutes pause...
"Java"

*such is Life with Java*

We all like Java...

... sort of...

Hey everyone, I am trying to learn how to become better a Java but I don't really know where to begin. I already know some of the basics and have made a few minor projects but I really want to advance. I was hoping someone could provide me with some ideas for simple yet complicated projects so that I can further my knowledge of the Java programming language.

Bring out your Java madness!!

java it is a black box that convert XML to SQL

only a java developer can understand it

I hate java...

why the hate on java? ok, i'm only studying applied computer sciences for a year now, we mainly saw java /javascript and i like them. personally i worked with python, c, c#, php, swift too but i still don't see the problem with java

.NET or Java?

Java vs C++ .....😂😂👍.

This message popped up while updating Java

For all the hate that Java gets, this *not rant* is to appreciate the Spring Boot/Cloud & Netty for without them I would not be half as productive as I am at my job.

Just to highlight a few of these life savers:
- Spring security: many features but I will just mention robust authorization out of the box
- Netflix Feign & Hystrix: easy circuit breaking & fallback pattern.
- Spring Data: consistent data access patterns & out of the box functionality regardless of the data source: eg relational & document dbs, redis etc with managed offerings integrations as well. The abstraction here is something to marvel at.
- Spring Boot Actuator: Out of the box health checks that check all integrations: Db, Redis, Mail,Disk, RabbitMQ etc which are crucial for Kubernetes readiness/liveness health checks.
- Spring Cloud Stream: Another abstraction for the messaging layer that decouples application logic from the binder ie could be kafka, rabbitmq etc
- SpringFox Swagger - Fantastic swagger documentation integration that allows always up to date API docs via annotations that can be converted to a swagger.yml if need be.
- Last but not least - Netty: Implementing secure non-blocking network applications is not trivial. This framework has made it easier for us to implement a protocol server on top of UDP using Java & all the support that comes with Spring.

For these & many more am grateful for Java & the big big community of devs that love & support it.

Fuck Java. Seriously fuck.

Sweet taste of Java

Java sucks

Why Java?

coded a java program in eclipse throws back error .
Know that program is correct.
Created a new project file copy pasted the code, wolaa.. executed.
:/

Tell me something about JAVA 😏😁

Java Rules The World

Fucking java library publishing. It's a nightmare. You have to fucking own a domain to publish a shit onto jcenter/bintray/whatever. You have to own the domain, that your lib's package name is. And you MUST verify it, otherwise you won't publish anything. Or you can shit allover your lib with package name like com.github.dumbcoder.mycoollib.

You must to create a ticket for some shitheads that are going to verify your shit for two weeks. They gonna ask you for source.jar, docs.jar and whatever shit.jar they need.

What THE fuck? Who was the asshole that decided name packages in reverse domain name? No FUCKING more ecosystem has such a bullshit. In .net you just make a lib, create a free nuget account, fill some basic info and boom! you have .net package published. Same for npm and rust for example.

Because the fucking package name should be just for structure not for a some dick to own it. Namespace is name-fucking-space.
FUCK JAVA.

That awkward moment when your Java class mentions "SUCC"

java evolution parade 😝

What's up with all this hate with Java?

User: I'd like to hear a java joke.

Java: Java is not defined.

User: Damnit Java!

Java developers never R.I.P, they just get garbage collected.

Start working with Excel export and imports in java... The Sheet goes real..

Is the Java programming language 100% object oriented?

who loves java

kiss my piss, Java :/

The best part is the satisfaction you get when you see the thing you've worked on for a long time being used and making people happy.

Java Dev: "Does Josh's team own this java service?"
Scrum Master: "They did the dev work but we own it."
Java Dev:

Let me just see what the "FragmentStatePagerAdapterManagerActivator" does. Fucking Java.

When you code in C but still thinking in Java....

What's the difference between Java and C#?
A: Former is slow, latter is....forced?

Python vs java. Pros and cons... Go...

I have just learned java language. Can anyone tell me some small projects that will help me as a beginner?

java > javascript

I feel like more than half of the time i spend coding Java is actually writting system.out.println().

I mean come on ! Who got time for that ?!

Am at a Hackathon and am being judged for coding in Java, and I have been relegated to developing the front end. I feel judged.

Java virtual machine

I thought I was decent at Java until I saw it in action over an internship this summer... is it always so complicated or do I have more to learn?

No one loves Java as much as Google and Oracle. They are willing to have a battle in court. Or maybe it is just that $9 billion 😂😂😝

But on a serious note as a former paralegal "I don't think copyright should be applied on a programming language " plus, I feel like even if it is applied... google is using java in it's own way (android) as the courts have stated that you can't copyright a language syntax or API definition. So Google can use the Java langauge syntax and core Java API freely on Android.

I don't know about you but, a lot of clients do bring up their concerns..on what the implications are for them and their company developing mobile apps!!

Any updates? Concerns? Thoughts?