Even your IDE is sick of that utter bullshit you call "code".

My bosses, bosses, boss asked to call me up unexpectedly:
BBBoss:" Just wanted to say we are really happy with your performance, especially in these tough circumstances, ... "
Me thinking: "Ah, great I am getting laid off."
BBBoss: " ... which is why we decided to give you and extra 1000$ in you next paycheck."
Me: "??? ... for real."
BBBoss: "yes, thank you for your hard work."
Me: "I am still employed?"
BBBoss (laughs) :"Yes, we are happy to have you."

Wow this one deserves a rant. Where should I even begin? I got a new job for over half a year now doing work in an agency. We're building websites and online shops with Typo3 and Shopware (not my dream, but hey). All fine you might think BUT...

1) I have been working on the BIGGEST project we have all by myself since I started working at this company. No help, nobody cares.

2) If something goes wrong all the shit falls back to me like "wHy DiDnT yoU WoRk MoRE?". Seriously? How should one dev cover a project that's meant for at least two or three.

3) The project was planned four years ago (YES that's a big fat FOUR) and sat there for 3,5 years - nobody gave a fuck. I got into the company and immediately got the sucky shit project to work on.

4) I was promised some time to get familiar with the projects and tech we use and "pick something I like most to get started". Well that never happened.

5) I was also promised not to talk directly to our customers. Well, each week I was bombarded with insults, a shitload of work and nonsense by our customers because (you guessed it) I was obligated to attend meetings.

6) The scheduled time for a meeting was 30 minutes, sometimes they just went on for over two hours. Fml.

7) Project management. It does not exist. The company is just out to get more and more clients, hires more god damn managers and shit and completely neglects that we might need more devs to get all this crap finished. Nope, they don't care. By the way: this is not like a 200 employee company, it's more like 15 which makes it even sadder to have 4 managers and 3 devs.

8) We don't use trello (or anything to keep track of our "progress"), nobody knows the exact scope of the project, because it was planned FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO.

9) They planned to use 3 months on this project to get it finished (by the way it's not just an online shop, it has a really sophisticated product configurator with like 20 dependencies). Well, we're double over that time period and it is still not finished.

10) FUCK YOU SHOPWARE

11) The clients are super unsatisfied with our service (who would have guessed). They never received official documents from us (that's why nobody knows the scope), nor did they receive the actual screen design of the shop so we just have to make it up on the go. Of course I mean "I" by "we", because appearently it is my job to develop, design and manage this shit show.

12) My boss regularly throws me in front of the bus by randomly joining meetings with my client telling them the complete opposite of things that we discussed internally (he doesn't know anything about this stupid project)

13) FUCK YOU COLLEAGUES, FUCK YOU COMPANY, FUCK YOU SHOPWARE AND FUCK YOU STUPID CUSTOMERS.

14) Oh btw. the salary sucks ass, it's barely a couple of bucks above minimum wage. Don't ask me why I accepted the offer. I guess it was better than nothing in the meantime.

Boy that feels good. I needed that rant. But hey don't get me wrong. I get that dev jobs can be hard and sucky, but this is beyond stupidity that I can bear. I therefore applied for a dev job in research at a university in my dream country. Nice colleagues, interesting projects, good project management. They accepted me, gave me a good offer and I can happily say that in 6-7 weeks my current company can go fuck themselves (nobody knows the 10.000+ lines of code but me). Just light it up and watch it burn!

And then one day you wake up and discover that your first boss,

the one who hired you when you had no experience

who believed in you when nobody else did

and also paid you a full decent payment when the rest of the world tried to pay you less than half the amount

who taught you a lot about the business and even when you disagreed, it was impossible to get angry because he was calm and gentle always

and treated you so many lunches and dinners

…was beaten and killed by a former colleague…

I have no words…

Sayonara 👋 boss
I will miss you so much on this Earth 😢

It's not micromanagment. But I would like you to report to me every single day and discuss everything that you and every member of your team does every day.

So yesterday one of the "senior" python developers woke me up at 1 am (we work in different time zones, and he knows how many hours I'm ahead) asking why isn't his code working. The error message was:

[ERROR] Runtime.ImportModuleError: Unable to import module 'app': xxx is not installed, run `pip install xxx` Traceback (most recent call last)

I am at lose of words and patience. Not only idiots who can't google simple stuff are seniors, additionaly we went from "DevOps is a culture" straight to "hey I'm developer in my silo, if it doesn't work on my machine it's DevOps problem, plz fix".

Interviewer: "Using this 2D array and calculate.."
Me: "This input isn't a 2D array though. Do you want me to parse or construct a 2D array then.."
"It is a 2D array."
"Uh.. ok..and if it's not what if we.."
"Look my notes say you must use this input, and treat it as a 2D Array"
"What if I wrote a function for a 2D array similar to this input, but actually a 2D array"
"You must use only the input provided"
Me: does rain dance code for 20 minutes.
Interviewer: "hmm, maybe it wasn't a 2D Array. I like your efforts but that's all the time we have today."

I promise I can code, sometimes. It does help to have correct questions to give correct answers.

In the darkest of days, I discovered how to remote login to my computer at work through the company vpn. I then proceeded to work overtime at night in secret for a week or so, writing documentation and refactoring code.

I finally woke the fuck up and realized that I shouldn't be obsessing over proprietary codebases that do not belong to me, and I should put this misguided energy into my own projects.

So yeah, as a bad dev habit I'm working on fixing, this fits the bill.

My graduation project partner was strange person

Favorite IDE is VIM

Forget how to use git

But somehow she could code most of the app

I asked what does she do when mistake happens, she answered "delete and write again"

I suggest github but she is "to embarrassed to show her code on internet"

She send .zip file of her code to me

Go to univ library to copy some code because she don't believe random code on internet

Of course verson of code on book in library is too old, but she prefer fix herself

But she is overall good person, so I can graduate next month

My previous manager always complained about the programmer that used to be there before me was utterly incompetent and unable to work.

One day checking a legacy app that needed a minor update I was looking at the code and said: “It is true the previous programmer didn’t even know how to put together 2 lines of code, this is literally the shittiest thing I have ever seen, thank God he is not around anymore!”

…

Manager: “Actually I wrote this myself”

…
…

rant¡

Client: "Can you add some logos to the homepage?"
Me: "Sure, I've just added it, take a look at staging."
Client: "Great, we can move it to live"

** 5 days later after it being moved to live and telling them I'm going on holiday. **

Client: "EMERGENCY change logo now, we need to change x logo. These logos look crappy too. How did this happen?"

Fuck this. I'm not employed by you, you don't have any right to speak to me like that. Especially after working tirelessly for your company.

**sent email back explaining how to upload files**

Told them not to contact me unless it's technically related.

Tech startups, an analogy:

After 18 years going from help desk teams to NOC teams, telecom engineering and all manner of startups in between I have concluded the following:

Imagine wanting to start an aerospace company because you know how to fold a paper airplane, but not how to actually design and engineer an actual craft that will pass basic air worthiness checks.

That’s 99% of “tech” companies.

Discuss. I’ll make drinks.

When you ask for documentation and they hand you a Word document with screenshots of the changed code

I actively avoided looking at my coworker code because i didnt want to micro manage. God i was so wrong

An industry secret 🤫🤫

So I just found out that my colleague who I often have to work with does not use a debugger to troubleshoot any bugs at all. Actually, he does not even run or test his code locally either with prints or something similar. He just commits java code directly on bitbucket, no source control, without making sure it compiles and then he runs a CI provided by devops that takes 4 freaking hours to run because he bloated that shit up somehow.

I suggested politely to help him find a more efficient approach and to use my hardware setups for speeding up his work because I assume it must be pretty painful to work with, but he just refused.

That and those "seniors" with 10 years Linux development XP in the embedded field who don't know basic commands like ls, cat and touch and code in notepad.

Fucking me, who the hell am I working with and can someone please end me?

An aunt enthusiastically regifted me a Captain Phasma figurine. "It's your favorite Star Trek person, Luke Sky Water!"

Politely accepted.

My manager doesn’t like code comments, want us to remove from PRs 🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️

I recently left a company where we had 2 hour long standups. I was so tired of them because half the time was deprioritizing what we prioritized yesterday. Everyday there was something more urgent coming up. It was a startup with 6 engineers. Sometimes the conversations were just random stuff that could easily take 45 minutes.

Now it feels so nice doing 15 minutes standups and then having the time to do the actual work.

Our software needs apache, php, mysql and node of certain versions installed. This is too many dependecies for our customers.

Let's dockerize!

Now they need docker, docker-compose, make, bash and python in a certain version. What an improvement!

I mean yes but hm.

Extreme

Fuck all people that take credit for other peoples work.

Fuck em hard

;/

My annoying 19-yo nephew wants to drop out of CompSci to "create the next billion-dollar startup".
I told him I would give him 10 rupees (USD 0.10) for 0.000000001% percent of his "pass me the butter at the diner table" company.
He accepted. Thus, his "heritage protein logistics startup" had an series-A valuation of a billion American dollars!
Hopefully he will stay in college now.

I can't figure out shit..
To be honest I created this profile just so I can write down somewhere what I am going through.
So, once upon a time I had graduated from college and went right into a corporate (has only been 2 years since). I was fortunate enough that I got assigned a project that was just starting, and even though I had no clue what was going on, I started doing whatever was assigned.
I initially worked in java and then finished all my tasks earlier than expected, so they switched me to another C++ project that builds on top of it.
Fast forward 2.5 years, I'm now the team lead of the CPP project and all my friends who were in the core team have left the company.
As usual, the reason behind it is shitty management. These mfs won't hire competent people and WILL ABSOLUTELY NOT retain the ones that are. I can feel it in my bones that it is time for me to leave, but fuck me if I understand what I am good at.
I have been able to handle all the tasks that they threw at me, be it java or c++ - just because I love logic and algorithms. I have been dabbling in ML and AI since 4-5 years now, but could never go into it full time.
Now I'm looking at the job postings and Jesus Christ these bitches do not understand what they want. I have to be expert in 34567389 technologies, mastering each of whom (by mastering I mean become proficient in) would need at least 6-8 months if not more, all with 82146867+ years of experience in them.
I don't know if I am supposed to learn on Java (so spring boot and stuff) or I'm supposed to do c++ or I'm gonna go with Python or should I learn web dev or database management or what.
I like all of these things, and would likely enjoy working in each of these, but for fucks sake my cv doesn't show this and most of the bitch ass recruiter portals keep putting my cv in the bin.
Yeah...
If you have read so far, here's a picture of a cat and a dog.

We do infra as a code, and one of my coworker worked on the project alone. Few months down the road, when shit hits the fan, he just message me this is not working.

First of all, I did not write that shit, and also I was never part of the conversation during the decision making. So when shit hits the fan what do you expect me to do? Do some black magic and fix it magically???

DEAR CTOs, PLEASE ASK THE DEVELOPER OF THE SOFTWARE WHICH YOU ARE PLANNING TO BUY IN WHAT LANGUAGE AND WHAT VERSION THEY ARE WRITTEN IN.

Background: I worked a LONG time for a software company which developed a BIG crm software suite for a very niche sector. The softwary company was quite successfull and got many customers, even big companies bought our software. The thing is: The software is written in Ruby 1.8.7 and Rails 2. Even some customer servers are running debian squeeze... Yes, this setup is still in production use in 2022. (Rails 7 is the current version). I really don't get it why no one asked for the specific setup, they just bought it. We always told our boss, that we need time to upgrade. But he told every time, no one pays for an tech upgrade... So there it is, many TBs of customer data are in systems which are totally old, not updated and with possibly security issues.

Things like this make me nervous ...

Dear Atlassian Support,

In my life I had a lot of experiences...

But your software manages to replace all these experiences with a unique feeling of depression, hatred, anger... Only negative emotions.

Not once have I said anything good about your software - not once in > 5 years.

Whenever your chum bucket of mismanagement and misanthropy stops working, it's never the fault of the end user, the administrator or someone else.

It's entirely your fault.

Fucked up upgrades, lack of documentation, catastrophic handling of logging, lack of support of current database systems, lack of proper migration and clean up of plugins, ....

I could go on. But it's really just and endless tirade.

I wish I could stop management for even giving you money for the pile of poo you call software, but sadly they don't listen.

But there's hope on the horizon.

Thanks for making people go cloud only.

No one wants that.

It would mean entrusting that pile of poo to the craptastic hands of your irresponsible people.

No one really wants that.

Not even management who blindly paid the license fees all the times.

Thank you for your cloud only movement.

Maybe we can finally find an alternative and I can finally start a therapy for the PTSD I have thx to your software.

A programmer was smoking.

A lady standing near by asked him can't you see the warning? smoking is injurious for health!!

He replied, "We are bothered only about errors NOT warnings"....

Finding a forum post that perfectly describes your extremely niche problem only to have the solution posted in a bunch of dead photobucket links has to be one of the worst emotional rollercoasters of all time.

Dev starter pack:
1) A big ass headphone to listen to music
2) A nice mechanical keyboard to write “hello world”
3) Some cool stickers to fill laptop back
4) A box of tissue to wipe of the tears(after seeing your progress)

my colleague was ordered to the site of a customer who had claimed that our software was a total bunch of crap and nothing was working. they had created a list with something 100 bullet points of the bugs they had found in our software that made it impossible to work with. since their production was relying on it they were really pissed off. after a very uncomfortable meeting where they angrily disclosed the situation, finally he got access to the system they were working with. after a few minutes he found that the system's GPU and hard disk drivers were totally outdated and devices weren't even working correctly. after he had updated all drivers, our software worked perfectly fine. at least the customers were kind of embarrassed afterwards... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That log4j RCE is some fucking nasty business!!! Its exploits have already been observed multiple times in our company scope.

Time for some unplanned Saturday evening hot-patches :/

P.S. Why the fuck leave such a feature enabled as default??? I mean really, whose brilliant idea was "let's leave the message parser enabled as well as the LDAP query hooks... BY FUCKING DEFAULT!!!"

I mean really, is anyone using that? ANYONE?

And then they laugh at me when I say "stay away from frameworks", "use as little libraries as possible", "avoid foreign code in your codebase",...

you know what.... JOKE'S ON YOU!

My tech lead keeps assigning me incident tickets in the company's worst legacy app because I solved some bug in it a while ago. I'm the only one who gets assigned these.

If this keeps going, I know for sure that I will be regarded as the designated developer for this application. Then I will be truly fucked.

Ok, so our team is responsible for writing an app that consumes an API written by the client's team (I refuse to call it a "REST" API, despite their claims). On one of the clarification meetings we are discussing an endpoint that accepts a (logically) unique field multiple times, even though an entity is already registered in the system with that unique identifier. Our proposal would be that this API of theirs should not happily accept duplicates as many times as there are bits on a 4TB hard drive, rather it should signal an error.

The response we got is this: Due to the Separation of Concerns principle they thought that it should be our app's responsibility to not send a request if an entity with said field is already in the system. Thus there's no need for the backend to validate this.

I didn't hear the next part, because I had to collect my headphones from the other side of the room where they were flung in rage.

I recently learnt that even chrome and Firefox use Webkit instead of their own engines in the iPad, because Apple requires so. So you can not use any alternative browser. You can not install oder versions of Safari as well. You can not open any browser-console or whatever. What the serious fuck.
I've hated Apple for my life but now I have even reasons!

I am Done! I am extremely burnt out and unhappy with my work. I have been doing this professionally for over 5 years now and much longer than that unprofessionally.
This new company I joined finally gave me the salary I always dreamt of but now I am extremely unhappy and depressed and anxious all the time. And I don't like the work I am doing. I don't like the team. I hate being isolated at home for over 2 years, working from home. I had a mental breakdown in the middle of the meeting the other day. And after that, I said. that's it. I am done. So, I gave the resignation letter. I don't know what I am gonna do. But I sure as hell can't do this shit any longer. But now, the fucking hr is making it even more difficult for me by not letting me leave without serving the notice period. I told her I am on fucking medication and I am having severe mental health issues. Now, she wants to see the medical certificate. Or I have to pay two months' salary. WTF? If I had that kind of money lying around, I wouldn't have slaved myself away at your shitty company, would I?
I went to my psychiatrist whom I have been seeing consulting for the last couple of years now. I asked for a medical certificate and he thinks it'll hamper my future career. So, he said I should get a certificate from a general physician. So, that's the world we live in then? You can't even speak the truth? And the way HR is behaving over the mail makes me feel like a total slave. I mean I am not at all fit for work these days, and it feels like, if she had her way, she would tie me down to a chair and ask me to push out code. what the fucking fuck. This is some fucked up industry and I think I am finally done with software development. But now, I don't have any idea what I am gonna do with my life or how am I gonna earn money. I am so burnt out and anxious that even the thought of working again gives me panic attacks. even working from home. What the fuck do I do?

FaceBook, over the years you’ve proven that you can’t be trusted and you still have the nerve to ask for this type of personal data?

Respnsive design from Google...

I work for healthcare client project in a start up, worked two years straight without a break.

Client is very inconsiderate about developers work-life balance, he always wants to release every features yesterday.

Never had a reasonable deadline, worked late nights most of the time. No one had backbone to control this client from our side.

Its only developers team, no project management, scrum masters or anything, everything has to be taken care by Dev's.

I decided to take a week break from work.

The first day of my leave he pinged me 3 times to change an "from email" address for notification email which no one give a damn about.

I never replied or did anything. But the part of myself is dying of guilt.

Now I can't relax myself completely.

Re-thinking of my life choices atm.

I loved programming since high school, I can work on computers 24/7 without tired. That's how much I love it. Now I'm just tired of it.

If anyone who read this till here. Thank you.

LinkedIn posts be like:
"Have a #challenging #look at my #innovative #carrer_moment! I did #something at my #new_company!
Look at this #picture of my #awesome #new_workplace! I am #glad of being here at #company!"
(#opentowork, #looking_for_opportunities, #recruiters_welcome)

I've been working with some new programmers now, trying to make this a place where people actually like working at. In my experience, most workplaces are bottom of the barrel shit, so I really wanted to try and make this the opposite, at least for the engineering team. When I hear them say how much they like working here, and how jealous their friends or family are at how much they are enjoying themselves and chilling with their coworkers and even their boss, it makes me feel so nice.

It might be a tiny company, but spreading happiness is great.

Once upon a time
Performance Review, "great job", "like all your achievements so far".. signed.

Two days later, same manager, "as you can guess, you didn't pass probation. Could have done more."
"Oh more like?"
"Just, you know, more."

!rant
tl;dr; quit my job last monday. going to grow my side hustle into full time freelancing.
I am so exited.

---
Story time:
I am working full time as a jack of all trades and also have a side business where I coach people on an ERP for doors/fenestration and also write custom software in c#.
I was able to manage both over ~4 years, with customer amount slowly growing (only doing B2B).

Last month I opened an account at a freelancer website just for the lulz and damn after a short amount of time the orders exploded. I had to shut it down again because I cannot manage the amount of work. But did manage to win a fair amount of customers that will keep me busy for the next year or two.

Spoke to my employer and told them about the situation (they know about my side business and it's all mentioned in the contracts). Said that I would need half the amount of hours with my business to reach the same amount of money and that working as an employee makes no sense for me in terms of money. I would however like to work 1 to 2 days in a week for them because working there is fun, even when its financially uninteresting.

they took one week to prepare a position and then invited me to a meeting. "we offer you 32 hours a week. if you want more, you have to make a descision. As a self employed person you have risk and we as an employer do not want to carry that risk for you and we do not want to finance your self employment" (etc.)

Thought I am in the wrong movie. I took that into the weekend and thought a lot about what has been said.

And last monday I invited to a follow up and told them

"sorry, I think I was not clear enough. Working for you is of no interest in terms of money. You do not finance me, it's the other way around. Sadly we do not come to an agreement, as 8 hours less does not fit the need. You said I need to make a descision. I do not want to do this but I'm quitting".

They responded with "Oh that is sad to hear. Is there anything that we can make so you do not leave?"

"Either pay me the same I would make as a self employed or follow my conditions"
Did not get a response on that.

I now have three months to prepare myself for self employment.
Currently working 40h + growing side business + getting the whole german bureaucracy shit together.

Tough time but hell this feels so damn good.

Just wanted to share this :)

Nightmare IRL:

Your colleague is in PTO for 2 weeks.

You are in charge of maintaining his project along with yours, CI, code, tests and everything.

Your colleague's code base is a real master piece of shit when you look at it closer. By shit, I mean hardcoded values everywhere, random sleeps now and then, 20 if branches that could be replaced by maps, variables named a b c d everywhere, try catch to silence errors that should not be silenced, etc.

Your colleague left the CI and code broken as shit. Takes forever to run on my goddamn computer.

PMs are spamming you: "What is going on? It's red everywhere. Help! Plz fix this! We are going to release tomorrow!"

FML

WTF is an agilist? Am I a codist now? This crap is getting out of hand. I’m really starting to dislike this industry- it’s the same thing we’ve been doing for years people, you’re just putting fancy names and certifications on top of it now.

Biggest challenge was to accept that no matter where you go, what you do, you will have to deal with stupid people.

They come in all ranges, starting from hr, interns, juniors, coworkers, code reviewers, seniors, managers, boss, clients.

And in order to grow in life, you have to learn to deal with them. Better even if you could make them a little less stupid.

Does anyone else shit their pants seeing this not knowing what you've edited?

Most horrific interview process I had gone through was by the CMMI level 5 company.

They had asked common Java questions & then after an interview they had not called back.

Suddenly, after a year I had got a call from them, I had barely remembered that past interview & still they had reminded me about the same.

Then they had said that that I got selected & offered me 10% less salary than I demanded a year back.

When I had asked why I had been offered less salary than even my current salary?

Then they had said they were CMMI level 5 company, so based on that in my next job after joining their company, I could demand more salary.

I had said them that I will reply after a year & had cut the call.

I think I did the correct thing 😎.

Man the senior dev where I work produces the most half baked shit solutions but I guess management loves em because he produces results.

Like Holy fuck this whole place just has a raging hard on for Microsoft products. Plus management won't spend any money on dealing with any of the tech debt and our prod solution is just to erect more monoliths.

Someone please end my suffering

You want me to build a whole fucking site with a new theme on December with no mockups and all build with a custom design after you left me all fucking September and october without fucking work?.

No. Fucking. Way.

My Daily WFH Routine :

Pretend that you are struggling really hard to solve some issues and it would be done by EOD.

Complete the task before lunch and the rest of the day is all mine :)

The device looks cool and everything....but their reason we should buy it is the winner for me. Not only is that never a problem...but also, spot the mistake

Had a recruiter say I was saying "wasting his time" by constantly declining job opportunities he sent via email (it was a mass email too). Another recruiter started questioning why I didn't work for this other company that didn't seem to have technology as a decent focus at its core. I'm honestly done with recruiters.

Monthly Update call
Me : I need 2 undivided weeks in the next 3 months to make some refactoring to our codebase, so we dont have issues in scaling.

Senior Manager (with years of tech experience almost equal to my age) :
Why would we need that, We are already hosted on AWS so we can just spin up more instances.

Me ( trying to hold the rage inside) : No it doesnt work that way, that will only hurt us more than help.

Him : What if we try with a bigger instance size. Its AWS, sure they will have a bigger instance.

Me : No, tha....
Him : (cuts me off) How about we use autoscaling and let AWS decide

Me : (Silently praying for a gun that shots across video calls.)

!rant, TL;DR at the bottom

Holy fuck, Yesterday, I got absolutely schooled by a literal newbie.
And I mean, NEWBIE newbie, the dude just started a Computer Science degree, and has been learning Java only for a MONTH. He has 0 prior experience with code or anything of the like, and he's somewhat of an Ars(Israel's version of a Gopnik).
So I was helping him with some stuff he didn't understand, and lo and behold his code was probably the most aesthetically pleasing and organized code I have seen in my 8 years of programming(I know 8 is not much, but It's at least above beginner level). The dude's a perfectionist, so I was like, "Okay, very impressive, but makes sense for perfectionism"(I straight up told him: "Damn, I've seen people with years of programming experience who can't learn to write this well, and you do this by default? I envy whoever's going to work with you"), and then I saw the way he writes checks(as in, methods that return a boolean) and I think I came.
The code was:
[First method in the picture]

And I know, it doesn't look as ✨ WOW✨ as I make it sound, but in my personal opinion this both looks much better and is much more readable than what I normally write:
[Second method in the picture]

and whenever there are longer or more complicated checks it makes it look like a simple puzzle that just fits in all the pieces nicely, for example in a rectangle class we had to write an 'isIn' method, this is how I wrote it:
[Third method in the picture]

His way of writing the same thing was:
[Fourth method in the picture]

Which I think is soooooo much better and readable and organized,
It's enough just looking at the short return statement to immediately understand everything that's going on.
"Oh, so it just checks if the SW(South West, i.e. Bottom Left) corner is above and to the right, and if the NE(North East, i.e. Top Right) corner is bellow and to the left"

Point of the story? Some people are just fucking awesome. And sometimes the youngest/most inexperienced people can teach you new tricks.
And to all of you dinosaurs here with like, 20+ years of experience, y'all can still learn even from us stupid ones. If 8 years can get schooled by a 1 month, 20 years can get schooled by a 1 year.
Listen to everyone everybody, never know where you might learn something new.

TL;DR: Got schooled by a local "Gopnik" who only started learning programming a month ago with 0 prior experience with his insane level of organization and readability.

Why is it that when a job ad a recruiter sends has a salary range and they then ask your current salary and expected salary, they're shocked when you want a substantial increase in salary when it's still within the range they posted for the role. Sure it's more than 20% of my current job but if the new job can pay more than that and they say they can why should I lowball? Why does my current salary matter for the new jobs salary?

A becomes B
B becomes C
C becomes A
D becomes B
E becomes A

Now add real hostnames... Make this list longer (roughly 15-18)

Add resource calculation, migration of VMs, organizing new hardware, removing and rebuilding hosts, etc.

I think my brain is permanently damaged and cannot be repaired.

Hardware migration finally over tomorrow.

I really won't miss the fuckton of Excel lists, constant speaking mistakes, having sore fingers from mutilating the desk calculator etc.

I'm too tired to be happy. But... It's over.

If a tree falls over in the woods..
And important dev work gets done and shipped,
And it's not in JIRA.. did it even really happen..

After receiving an offer..

"We changed our mind."
"What happened?"
*ghosted

I got stuck with a small task for days, today I just have the courage to ask for help and a senior literally gave me the code for the problem! I'm not sure if I should be happy for finishing the task or embarrassed for couldn't solve the problem by myself. 😄😥

someone: so what do you do?
me: I'm a software developer
someone: oh, can you design me a logo?
me: no
someone: something simple, I'm sure...
me: NO, IT'S NOT MY F***ING JOB

So the next O’rly book I can imagine for this project is:

How did I ended in this microservices nightmare?

So...Just got moved from salaried to hourly for an already extremely overworked, underpaid position. Lost our flexible hours and our platform is moving to drop and drag...Watch them say no overtime now. Beyond pissed!😡

So recently I completed side gig from random freelancing site where I had to shadow troubleshoot performance problems over teams call with random Indian guy on his client's AWS account. Long story short you can autoscale new instances all you want but it's not gonna help if your FIFO sqs has only one message group ID. This architecture is running an online game, which is basically limited to processing ONE event at the same time for ALL players xD
What's even better, basing on naming convention I realized it's a company that I interviewed for like 4 months ago and they told me "we need someone with more experience". Well good luck, thanks for quick cash

This doesnt even need a comment. Send email to noreply email and wait for reply to come? WTF?!

I am a weird dev. No urge to rant really, mostly internal frustrations if any.

Today I had my first meeting with the client and it went smoothly - I showcased demo in the current state, they approved, asked a bit more about the technology and that's pretty much it...

I know, I know... I'm just starting and it's gonna change but, idk why, I think I'm in a good work environment.

Company: people are not taking holidays, let's have after work party midweek so they have to take a day off.

Employees: (next day after late night party) I'm calling in sick

So, my wife got this new PR job where she sometimes gets called in the middle of the fucking night because some jackoff in Singapore said or did some shit.
Since "husbands that work deep into the night get cheated on by their wives", and I believe in equal gender rights, I thought it would be a good opportunity to watch the new episode of the series we watch together. By my fucking self.
Is that how it feels to cheat on someone?

!rant

My military CS role interview is coming in 2 days. So fucking excited!!

Currently literally sitting in a meeting about meetings. Like for real, the topic the last 15 minutes has been what the difference between 3 of the daily team meetings is.

Then the dumbass who booked this for two hours says about one of the others "an hour is long"

My supervisors was shocked that I am an atheist and says “we accept all kinds of people”, then proceeds on trying to convince me that Christianity is the way (in life and work)

Note: I have no problem with people having religion and I respect them, but damn don’t force me into it.

A relative told me that if I were actually smart I would be getting other people do development work for me.

He is also very wealthy. Clearly wealthy off the backs of dumb people.

Recruiter reaches out to me, he says he saw my LinkedIn and thinks I'd be a great fit.

I say ok and send my resume.

He gets me a phone screen. I do it, I think I do a pretty good job. (I'm able to answer all the questions well, I think I'm onto the coding interview for sure.)

A couple days later I get a generic rejection email.

I'm not sure what happened. They had my resume, I know I did well on the technical questions (I do that kind of thing for my current job all the time.)

No idea why I'm rejected. If it was something about my experience, they could have seen that from my resume. If it was something from my phone screen, I have no idea what it could have been.

Just wanted to rant >:[

I have adhd and anxiety which means I cant smoke, drink coffee or drink alcohol because that fucks up my sleep and short term and long term memory badly for few days in a row. ADD symptoms become unmanageable. Fuck my life. I guess I will have to cut all stimulants if I want to be abe to function as a decent dev. I will have to cut most of my social circle because they wont understand me not going out for drinks... Fuck my life....

Just wasted 2 hours of my life looking through my colleagues code because he decided to build it at the last moment, install it at customer, and then take the day off.

If he had just started the project he would have seen it crash.

I hate people who don't test their own shit

"I have been pressing this button for FOUR HOURS now, and STILL it does not work!!"

A brand new house built on top of poop will still sink

How are you guys taking care of mental health?

I feel down in dumps. Burnt out from previous job and life seems like a drag.

Any advice appreciated as I feel pretty isolated.

To be honest, I'm not as excited as I was 6-7 years ago when our tech industry seen a big leap, where these ML/Deep Learning algorithms were out performing humans, Apache Spark out perfomed Hadoop in distributed computing, Docker/Kubernetes are the new phenomenon in software development and delivery, Microservices architecture, ReactJS virtual DOM concepts were so cool.

Really though, I've come realise that these software trends come and go. All you need to do is adapt and go with the flow.

“You know what is not fungible, scarce and valuable to me? My time! So if you wish to persuade me NFT are a good thing, you should pay me a fair amount of real money to make me listen your bullshit”

From now on this will be my standard reply to NFT harassment.

Feel free to use, edit and share with others.

Just found out that UK is blocking porn. You have to get verified through somethig called AgeID before you can access anything. What are they even thinking?

Coding + 7 pints of lager and a gin martini = an hour shouting at a div and then realising you're missing the dot.

I got invited to interview with a startup(series B) by a former manager. I told them I had RSUs vesting in six months and that unless they could give me a sign on for their amount I couldn’t leave. The recruiter says “Don’t worry, we can get creative with the sign on bonus”
I go through their whole interview process and get the offer.
Sign on is 15% of the amount of my vesting RSUs, and a base below what I make now.
Why waste my time not telling me the comp range from the start and why lead me on with a comment about a sign on? I told you up front what I made!

Hi devs,

i am just curious, how often you use devrant.

to be honest,.. if my life is good.. no bugs. no miss management. I don't even remember devrant exist..

but as soon as I got frustrated from code,management, life.. Devrant is the first thing I type of my browser before starting any work :P

I have to fire someone but I feel that we also failed him as a team. It feels like crap.

I have been keeping this inside for long time and I need to rant it somewhere and hear your opinion.

So I'm working as a Team Lead Developer at a small company remotely based in Netherlands, I've been working there for about 8 years now and I am the only developer left, so the company basically consists of me and the owner of the company which is also the project manager.

As my role title says I am responsible for many things, I maintain multiple environments:
- Maintain Web Version of the App
- Maintain A Cordova app for Android, iOS and Windows
- Working with pure JavaScript (ES5..) and CSS
- Development and maintenance of Cordova Plugins for the project in Java/Swift
- Trying to keep things stable while trying very hard to transit ancient code to new standards
- Testing, Testing, Testing
- Keeping App Stable without a single Testing Unit (sadly yes..)
- Just pure JavaScript no framework apart from JQuery and Bootstrap for which I strongly insist to be removed and its being slowly done.

On the backend side I maintain:
- A Symfony project
- MySQL
- RabbitMQ
- AWS
- FCM
- Stripe/In-App Purchases
- Other things I can't disclose

I can't disclose the nature of the app but the app is quite rich in features and complex its limited to certain regions only but so far we have around 100K monthly users on all platforms, it involves too much work especially because I am the only developer there so when I am implementing some feature on one side I also have to think about the other side so I need to constantly switch between different languages and environments when working, not to mention I have to maintain a very old code and the Project Owner doesn't want to transit to some more modern technologies as that would be expensive.

The last raise I had was 3 years ago, and so far he hasn't invested in anything to improve my development process, as an example we have an iOS version of the app in Cordova which of course involves building , testing, working on both frontend and native side and etc., and I am working in a somewhat slow virtual machine of Monterey with just 16 GB of RAM which consumed days of my free time just to get it working and when I'm running it I need to close other apps, keep in mind I am working there for about 8 years.

The last time I needed to reconfigure my work computer and setup the virtual machine it costed me 4 days of small unpaid holiday I had taken for Christmas, just because he doesn't have the enough money to provide me with a decent MacBook laptop. I do get that its not a large company, but still I am the only developer there its not like he needs to keep paying 10 Developers.

Also:
- I don't get paid vacation
- I don't have paid holiday
- I don't have paid sick days
- My Monthly salary is 2000 euro GROSS (before taxes) which hourly translates to 12 Euro per hour
- I have to pay taxes by myself
- Working remotely has its own expenses: food, heating, electricity, internet and etc.
- There are few other technical stuff I am responsible of which I can't disclose in this post.

I don't know if I'm overacting and asking a lot, but summarizing everything the only expense he has regarding me is the 2000 euro he sends me on which of course he doesn't need to pay taxes as I'm doing that in my country.

Apart from that just in case I spend my free time in keeping myself updated with other tech which I would say I fairly experienced with like: Flutter/Dart, ES6, NodeJS, Express, GraphQL, MongoDB, WebSockets, ReactJS, React Native just to name few, some I know better than the other and still I feel like I don't get what I deserve.

What do you think, do I ask a lot or should I start searching for other job?

There's a sea of stuff that I need to learn and I'm drowning in it.

I hate apples. I buy them at the grocery store. They taste bland, they don't have any smell and by eating them I don't get any positive emotions.

Well, at least this is the conclusion in my head every autumn after a year of eating store bought apples.

Then the end of autumn comes/winter begins and I visit my grandparents, who live in a village. I get a bag of apples (15-20 kgs) and this bag smells wonderful. Heck, the car smells wonderful for a few days after transporting the bag back home.

My grandparents give around 7-8 varieties of apple, mixed. Each and every one of them tastes amazing, even if I have to cut some spots out from a few. They don't always look perfect, but I think these are the noble ones and the store bought would be the peasants.

I know, it's kind of obvious, that the homegrown fruits are better, but it still amazes my tastebuds every year, plus I'm really grateful for having my grandparents.

Question: What is the fuckiest fuckup?

A) That it turrned out our apps login does not work on Safari at all? Although Safari should be Webkit and App works fine on Chrome and Firefox for years and should be normal Angular stuff by the way?

B) That in three years appareantly nobody considered trying it out in Safari?

C) That I can not use the iPad I got from my employer because fucking AppleId is requiring a fucking Phone number.

Answer: all of them.

at my funeral i want a giant game of kahoot about my life and whoever wins will gets my will

Rant: i have a software firm, recently got a new project, found a freelancer to work on the project.

He is a very good developer but he works on the project only when he wishes to work and I am left to answer the clients about project delays.

It's so frustrating that I can't get angry on him otherwise he will leave the project and on the other side I have to answer clients. I am stuck with all the tensions in the world.

How often do you dream about work?
I had a dream about a day's work, and in the morning I have to work again. Who will pay me for another shift?😣

Just...Macbooks

(sigh)

The entire day wasted having to install a new OS to install a new Xcode to export an app, only to find the xcode was installed under a different user (who has long since gone from the company) to then have to look up what to do, to then just sit...........and....................wait.............for Xcode to download again.
And I know when I try to export my app (which had zero problems being exported to Android) I'm going to hit an entire day tomorrow of bug fixing for ios sh...stuff

still unemployed,

closing peanut freelance contracts here and there,

totally burnt out.

God save my soul.

I just want to delete a jira…that’s all just delete it..listen you jira fucks ..just let me delete the fucking thing!!!

My LinkedIn status is set to "not interested for work offers" so recruiters won't bother me. So I thought..

Recruiters be like: well screw that, I'll use the connect button and push my stupid generic message into his face anyways.

I got a contract with this schools to build a student portal,

I do all the needful and the project whatever guy insists that I use their current shared hosting to host this MERN stack application.

first of all, cPanel is my least favorite place when it comes to deploying, I actually dont do deploying I just hand it over to whoever is the IT guy there.

I discovered there's no provision for nodejs in their current plan, I go through all the stress of contacting the shitty customer support and the process of squeezing out useful information from them.

I'm only doing this because the project whatever has refused to pay me until their site is deployed. throughout the process of creating this project I had setup continous deployment on heroku and netlify and I had to beg this guy to look at the changes and review them.

well, today I asked the former guy that built the current site for the login details to the schools dashboard on the hosting providers site and he says he used his personal details for it, according to him projects from other organizations are there too.

I swear I'm going to loose my shit, freelancing sucks

Engineering managers will say things like -
- "I'll let the team decide what's best for them" & "code quality is our primary goal" -
but then they'll shoot down any & all requests to go back to some old piece of code and refactor/clean it, because of "deadlines".
Hypocrites, all of them.

Recruiter: (on email) hi please check this exciting opportunity!
Me: ....
Recruiter (on email): I see you haven't got back to me on this. Blah blah blah
Me: Hi xyz, can you share the complete job description and compensation details?
Recruiter: <last seen 2 weeks ago>

I’m starting to think that Agile means: fail fast, fail often, FAIL ALWAYS

Do you devs spend on learning ? Like paid courses etc. Or not at all ?

Imagine being a senior dev with a green junior that says: "Well maybe there is a better way and I just don't know"

and you say:

"There is, I'm telling you"

only to continue on discussing it more.

Me: Ok google
Google assistant: your mic is turned off

Can AI recognize fake smiles?

Context:
So, my good-for-nothing brother-in-law comes with his toddler. I'm pissed at him for reasons, but gentlemen are always polite IRL and look at each other for greetings.
His toddler has always loved me and runs towards me. But see my fake-ass smile and suddenly she is shy and nervous.
She has noticed the stealth-fake smile that fooled her mother and grandmother.

Can AI do that? are there enough markers to differentiate a fake smile from a real one? Or is it waaay to personal?
If is it trivial, can someone please make a fake-smile coach app?

Putting mobile phone to DnD.

Putting on Bluetooth headsets with ANC, blasting some good shit music.

Violently cooking or desperately ordering food at the good restaurants.

While waiting, grinding some coffee beans, making fresh coffee or some nice tea with milk.

Laying on the sofa in a food induced coma, turning on any streaming service with the real bad shitty movies.

Hentai Kamen, The Machine Girl, ...

Anything thats either pure groteske bullshit or that doesn't require more than a braincell cause it appeals either to the violent or complete nonsense side of my brain.

Last but not least, a few cold beers.

ANC headset stays on, just switching from music to tv - shutting out all the outside noise.

Bad dev habit…

I am still learning like super fresh —
Second week of class.

But I am also looking at things and getting overwhelmed because I’m like idk wth that is.
But when I end up learning it —
I’m like ohhhh!!

I just overthink everything !!!

My current job makes me want to question my life choices.
Its a complete burnout.
I do 9 to 6 never 6 though its always 7 or 730 come home exhausted, and still on almost all days need to attend to customers after hours. Customer meeting at 8.30pm are quite consistent occuring. Being a developer, debugging meetings I can understand to a certain extent, but why the f i am preparing quotes and pitching products.
Want to prep for new job boom no time left to do so other than weekends.

Im getting tired of this fucking scrum team.

First of all let me introduce our backend team which takes 3 weeks to add one fucking column to database and in the end turns out they fucked up RabbitMQ RPC implementation so the column is not syncing with our app at all so now we have to wait 2 extra weeks until that will be working. Best part is that backend fucker who fucked up doesnt even feel like hes blocking a feature and would rather sit for extra few days and do nothing until he gets reassigned his pile of shit back to him than clean up his own shit.

Then we have business analytic who doesnt know how to define tasks properly so I have to record each grooming meeting so I would know what to fucking implement because he doesnt even bother to take proper notes. Which results in not fully defined tasks, which results in unexpected behaviours and MR's stuck in limbo for weeks.

Also lets not forget QA guy who doesnt even bother writing scenarios, I as an app dev have to write them myself just to be sure that fucker will test everything thoroughly.

Then we have fucking devs from consultancy agency who apparently have 6 years of experience (I have barely 2) and these fuckers are spamming me daily with the most basic questions. After each grooming they rush to assign themselves tasks which are not even defined properly yet and not even in this sprint, but fuckers are lazy so thy want to reserve easier tasks for themselves. Pathetic.

At least I have a decent senior on my team, but sometimes he patronizes me so much that I start asking me what I am doing in this team.

Fuck this shit, I asked for a 43% raise and if Im not getting it in 2-3 weeks im outta here. Fuckers.

Who the fuck at google thought it was a good idea to not let you log out from a single account in gmail when multiple are logged in in the browser. You have to log out of all of them all or not at all. And it is a new change, i can remember being able to do that previously. Just why?

"Old Person" (noun):
Someone who refuses to wear earplugs, headphones or other personal hearing aid audio devices while demanding, but not paying attention to, a living room television set on the loudest possible volume.

I don’t know what’s the point of returning the office is we just all sit in the same room on Zoom

My LinkedIn is usually pretty quiet. Recently I've received quite a few messages from recruiters. Some of them put numbers in and I look at them, well, the market looks hot.

I like where I am but doesn't hurt to have a look around eh? So I went through some interviews and shit. No preps, not trying to please anyone, being completely honest. And out of the 3 I tried, 1 got to the final round.

Before the final round, the recruiter kept harassing me (it's their job really) about what my "bottom line" is. She said they really liked me but I'm not up to their expectation as a senior role. So they want to proceed with a non-senior role, then climb my ladder up. I told her, I don't give a shit about the title. The she said for that, the salary will be "adjusted" (reads reduced). I told her, look, I said I wouldn't bother if the offer is anything less than X amount of money. Then she said but this company would offer 10% bonus, which will add up , mind you, "close to" X. She said she wanted to know so we don't waste the director's time (as the final round is to meet the bloody director).

I said, if I need to disclose my bottom line before going to this, which is pretty much my negotiation, then let's call it off. No point wasting my time either.

The next day I received the last call from her. They fucked right off.

I know everyone here already knows. But let me experience be another example of how a plague recruiters is. I don't have any experience like this before but this is probably a fucking lowball case too.

This virtual recap 2021 year event could have been an email

Really want to go back to the office, have coffee breaks with my colleagues, go on lunches and complain about having to come to the office everyday!!!!!!!!!!!

FML or how I made myself unhireable

TL;DR: Working as a QA.
Changed jobs.
New job sucked.
Left after three months.
Got laid off from the next one after 4 months (not my fault).
Got depressed.
Got a Dev job back in the first company.
Job sucks, cannot leave… (5 months in)

Full rant:
I was doing pretty well as a QA Enginner. Started with internship, then junior in company A, then big pay rise moving to company B, where I quickly got promoted to Senior. As I was nearing 3yrs of exp, I decided it’s time for a change, as things were getting worse project-wise and felt like I was regressing. Also I was constantly bombarded with offers of +50% of my salary I could easily land, while company offered 10%.

Moved on to company C. This is where it started getting rocky. I was told I would be working on this one project, strictly test automation, nothing exciting but an easy gig. However week in, I was told to work on this other project 50/50. This was a startup kind of thing. It was a nightmare. Only manual testing. Most tickets had only a vague title, no description, no requirements, nothing. How do one test something without any knowledge how it should work? Besides that, the project lead on the client side was aggressive sometimes.
The workload was immense - 4 devs, 2 of them doing heavy overtime, so the output was like 6 devs and half of a tester….
Despite raising the problems, nothing was going to change, nor I could switch projects. The job began to heavily affect my mental health. Decided not to prolong my contract and left after 3 month probation period.

Quickly landed a job in company D. As my burnout as a tester kept bothering me more and more I decided that this was going to be my last job as a QA and next one will be a Dev. You see, I never enjoyed the tester part, I always enjoyed the automation part more. The plan was to learn in free time and after 18-24 months start applying for a dev role to see if I can land one (switching inside D was not an option). All plans went to hell, as I was handed a one month notice by the end of my third month. A month before my wedding… I was told the company was having financial issues and was laid off with about 30% of people in the company (mostly new hires).

I got depressed. I wouldn’t get out of bed for a few days. I never thought something like this would ever happen to me. Standing by my decision I was applying for development jobs, but most recruiters seeing either only QA experience or my recent 3 and 4 month employment periods weren’t responsive. Applying for testing jobs was a bit better but still nothing like before C and D.

Since company B I stayed in touch with my former manager, and he kept telling me that a new team has taken over most of the shitty work, and they are now working on cooler stuff and have more coming. He encouraged me to come back, as he has always thought highly of me professionally.
Looking at my options, I could probably get another testing job with lower pay, maybe I could land a junior Dev with like 1/3 of my salary or I could go back. So in my dark time I have reached out to my manager and just like that he got me a Senior Dev position, same pay as in company D.

Finally what I wanted right? Yeah… As soon I as joined all the new initiatives were being dropped one by one, and backlog got flooded with bugs and sh*t again. Five months in I hate my job again. Cannot leave cause no one will hire me…

Where I made the mistake?
Shouldn’t leave B despite facing regression and being underpaid?
Shouldn’t leave C no matter what?
Shouldn’t come back to B?

Jira is just like a Dead ass Bitch

I love old school design. 1990's and 2000's website has their charm.

Negative side of this: I want to be frontend dev and I can only design these, so I can't make modern website without proper designer

Im thinking about leaving my employer because I keep getting way too much work on my plate, people get annoyed that its not done in time and tell me that i should tell them if im getting too much work.
So i tell them its to much and our deadlines are to tight, then i just get told "this is how we always work, we just gotta finish things faster and better"...

Another one is that our HR/office manager keeps bugging me about setting up SMART goals so i can prove my value to the company and that its my responsibility to do so if i want a pay raise (even if im already underpaid)...
Im sorry but if you wanna keep me, you gotta give me some damn incentive to stay...

Ive been putting up with it sofar because i like the office and the people and the majority of the work itself and i really dont wanna go looking for another job because im really bad at it... but wtf... im so done with all the "how does this work" questions too...

tl;dr: getting negative reviews because im bad at my own evaluation is gonna make me quit probably, while im being praised for all other work i do

I'm doing a tiny project in c++ to teach myself, its infuriating. Forgot the pass-by-reference ampersand and spent a full hour trying to figure out why the program took so long...

Internal users are the worst. They act like you owe them the world. STFU and read the goddamn documentation.

Why is there no 'Close tabs to the left' on Chrome!

When the test you spent an hour writing passes on the first try… not sure if I should be happy or anxious.

Can people stop using Kubernetes and over engineering shit for services which get like, 10 users at most ? Thank you.

what is the point of having massive HR departments if something as expected and frequent as university hiring can't go smoothly?

i managed to reach the interview round for a big 4 firm only for the interviewer to not show up for 4 hours from my time slot (i waited the entire time - took periodic screenshots for proof), HR to say "we'll reschedule your interview, this happened because of internal miscommunication" more than THREE months ago, and dip. until december they'd repeat the same. now they've ghosted. thanks, virtual hiring.

how is it the candidate's fault? found out this isn't rare by speaking to a few others from my network who i knew were interviewing for the same firm. for students whose lives can change completely based on the outcome of an opportunity that they came across due to sheer luck and could definitely make use of because of their hard work - this is so heartbreaking and demotivating.

can't believe it but things actually have started to fall into place on their own, career-wise. feels unreal. need to work enough to afford a cottage with a cobblestone path & my life will be complete

Do not offer anyone to help them with their scripts, ever.
I had to do something as there were things like "cd $DIR; rm *". No checks if the folder got changed, no qutoes to prevent breaking on spaces. A problem waiting to happen. And it did. We don't know what the script deleted in the wrong folder to this day.
The scripts have no functions, some files have over 50% duplicate code. I was an idiot and thought running it through shellcheck and doing basic prevention of them shooting their own foot would be enough.
And there is no way to convince the guy to start writing the code properly. Should have kept my mouth shut.

My daily routine :`)

wake up between 5:00 am to 11:00 am -> eat unhealthy breakfast and sometimes miss breakfast -> watch useless youtube videos -> beat my meat -> do some coding -> watch more useless videos -> eat lunch -> do some more coding -> watch more useless videos -> eat dinner -> and then sleep

REPEAT

NEED HELP!!!

Heya @Fast-Nop

Here's to your many sevens (7).
Beautiful assembly, perfect with that leading three (3).

Cheers mate

I hate how React is used almost everywhere nowadays. Especially when single-page applications are used for purposes that don't actually benefit from them.

Perhaps I'm just old-fashioned, but I want websites to work even with client-side JS disabled. At least sites like Amazon don't rely on it, and work just fine. Progressive enhancement is the way to go.

Hey guys, i joined a new company a week ago. In the offer letter they mentioned the working hours from 9:30pm to 6:30pm but today an HR told me to be online till 7:30pm. I refused. Guys i really cant sit for so long in front of the computer. 9:30 to 6:30 is a good time, but i cant sit for more than that. Also after 6:30 i meet my friends everyday. I dont know what to say to them the next time they ask me to sit for so long. If they want employees to sit for so long then why dont they mention it on offer letter?

Whyyyy the fuck do I have so many meetings!

my boss some months ago: so there is this new project, and we're planning to slowly fade in and gradually increase the time you guys work on this project

new pm last week: welcome to the project, you're now 100% allocated to the new project, that's your highest prio now
me: ...what about the other projects? they might have questions xD
pm: don't worry about that, dealing with that is not your job

my boss this week: yeah no, the other releases are most important for our company. the new project needs to be subordinated and has lower prio, at least lower prio than critical and highly prioritized bugs.
me: so.... who decides which items from which projects i shall prioritize higher than the new project and how much time i shall spend on them?
my boss: it is your job to talk to people, give them estimates and tell them how many items you can work on, so they can decide which items they pick

so basically i'm having the feeling that i need to manage myself here. it will be fun to attend the new project daily standups and tell the new pm all the time that i couldn't do anything because i had no time. anyone else with this experience? is this normal? actually i liked our new pm's attitude "dealing with that is not your job". i should have known it was too good to be true ^^'

always put timeouts on your connection code..number of times I see shit blocked forever ..and we know it’s not good to have your shit blocked

Happy Holidays everyone!!
Stay safe, pamper yourself and don't forget to remember you are loved :))

Will see you on the other side 🤘

Man I am tired of my company's dogshit software release process.

We have to commit to fucking estimates for 6 months (2 quarters), SQA shadowing dev by 2 weeks, and freaking estimates and work done at the end are not even close. And then we call it a minor release. These shitty estimates are based on requirements that basically say "we want feature x, plz make it work". It's some fucked up agilefall garbage that does not work for shit.

We rush like motherfuckers during the final weeks because estimates are bullshit but we are still expected to be done with every story points which somehow are days instead of other better metrics.

I swear this fucking bullshit has been designed by the board so they could plan their money entries based on the software release.

The only reason this company actually still holds itself up is because the engineers are good at their job.

Go fuck yourself high management.

Well here it goes,

I started out in customer support (A lot of stuff to tell here).

1.
One of my colleagues would come to work drunk, like every day he would smell of boze (the hard stuff 80%+). When a customer got on his nerves he endet the call and threw his Keyboard across the room. He worked in the company 3+ Years after I left.

2. Another colleague would connect to his Personal Computer at his home and play WoW while at work ( Allthough the man was a genius with a lot of free time, until a new task was assigned to him)

3. My Boss at the time did some really shitty things. I worked 17 hour days (while I was 18) for a week, and at the end of the week he shredded the accrued overtime with some Bullshit Explanation. (I did not stay long after this shitshow happened).

4. A dispatcher who sent our technicians out scheduled their tasks so that they were on the road for weeks and did not see their families. This led to a very strong turnover among technicians.

And yes, this company still operates today.

Someone please explain to me how error messages such as
"Something went wrong" or "Critical error" are valid and provide little to no follow up explanation in the GUI, Logs, or client logs.

I get that not all error cases can be displayed on a GUI, but at least have decent error handling. Especially if your $8+ billion company.

Finishing my degree after moving to a foreign country alone, while also working as a dev part time.

I recently moved to another country and switched jobs, and even though I'm getting stuff done, I feel like I just don't deserve the job. It just feels surreal that I made it so far and it just feels like dumb luck sometimes.

All these companies not going the full 100% remote and requiring one day in the office, would it kill them to do 100% remote? My current role is fully remote and were spread through many timezones and still manage to work well, why don't companies see this and give an option atleast to be fully remote for developers?

I'm having a break from coding for the next hour.
So, please tell me....what's the best bread maker to buy?

Nothing like a new year to rekindle that old pile of backlog issues from 2016.

Spends months on a clearly laid out project. Finally gets to the end.
"Great stuff, well done - now let's start the next section of it"

"...the what now?"

!rant

Just completed Monkey Island 1 and 2 again, 30+ years after I last played them.

1. What an awesome blast from the past
2. I am getting old.......
3. Can't wait for Monkey Island 3 (the real third)

Switching workplace after new year.
Already told boss I'm quitting last week. And it is like as soon as It was official I lost all patience with the company bullshit and lost the little interest I had left for my daily work. The codebase seemes bad before but now it feel 100x worse.

Work ethic keeps me from doing nothing but man I just want to get out.

Will be so nice to work with a new project and code base.

In reality, I'm really frustrated with my life, sometimes I thought that dying is easier than living 🙂.

Software developers like to solve problems.

If there are no problems available ,

They will create there own problems.

Anyone else noticed how Comp Sci teachers are always useless so you just end up teaching yourself way more than they've taught you?

I just transformed a sorting command that was seven lines long into an ungodly abomination that was about 70 lines.
We don't do these things because they are easy, we do them because we thought they are easy.

I will always remember that phrase and might never find out who came up with it.

Worst was getting head hunted into my current role at this terrific company.
Three months later I’m done with it.
It’s not shit shitty codebase, or the lack of direction that self governing teams have. It’s not the megalomaniac company owner. It’s the bullshit team mobbing and 8 hours of video calls a day.

The best part.
Come he’ll or high water I’m getting myself out before the end of the year.
I’d rather be busy and have f’k all chance of promotion than any more of this. At least the day will fly by.
Just hope I don’t make the same mistake twice, that’s become my biggest worry now.

Fuck Mondays! 👨🏻‍💻

Am I the only one that cringes when I see software developer consistently ranked as one of the best jobs to have? Are other jobs that horrible that this is as good as it gets? I’m probably too cynical I suppose.

I feel like I was seduced by the fun of programming only to have the corporate enterprise suck my soul dry.

ADDICTED to Netflix and Food 🥘 🍱
🍲

I went to a Java community conference for the first time and I honestly nearly teared up. It’s been a few years since I’ve actually seen actual hard core engineering with real considerations on memory etc. I felt like all I do all day is get blocked by red tape when I do my job.

God, it felt refreshing to see the reason I got into programming still exists.

its hella hard to code when I keep having to deal with people or join these meetings :/

AFTER 8 WEEKS OF HELL IN THIS CURRENT USELESS TEAM FULL OF EGOS AND SHITTY SCOPE I AM FINALLY TRANSFERING TO ANOTHER TEAM WITH NICE SCOPE AND A DECENT TEAM FUCK YEAAAAAHHHHH DURJDKLWHTB4KDLDJRJELSEKELELENEBEBSNEKMWM

This fucking company man. Implementing a simple feature (just a couple settings in the android app) is taking me 4 fucking weeks(feature was done long time ago, but not in the way that. they wanted, even though I followed existing implementations). I have like 60 comments in my code review from which half feels like it's just purely nitpicking. I already have 2.5 years experience and I just want to kill myself or quit the job if every code review here willl be like this.

Senior dev: Complete task and raise PR immediately
2 week later: No review
FML

Fuck memory leaks, end of rant

Some people are plain worse than a windows update.

Please overcommunicate! And ask questions. Assumptions are leading to nothing but overwork in a project where there are 8 devs contributing on a single codebase.

Started a side project.
Learnt flutter and firebase.
Started coding app.
Four months pass by.
App is mostly ready.
Wakes up on Saturday morning.
Updates Android Studio and SDK because, why not?

Build failed!
Dependency depreciation warnings!
Java errors!
Firebase errors!
Emulator stopped running!

Wify is angry with me as we planned shopping but now this. Fortunately, she's also in IT, so she understands..

FML! Spent the entire day stackoverflowing and fixing errors!

8PM evening, I am back to Friday's status. My shoulder and neck hurts but my mind is chilled.

"Did you know that this popup saved the life of countless API calls by preventing users from frantically clicking the 'Continue' button?'

Another funny line I added to a dialog in my project today as one of its finishing touches :D

100 dollars to rebuild the whole frontend of their startup. what sort of humans run these Nigerian companies ? smh

Brain : Hey, there's this task that needs to be done

Me : oh sure, let me do it

* tries to do it unsuccessfully a few times *

Brain : ...

Me : ...

Brain : DON'T YOU --

Me : * Opens devrant and starts scrolling *

Seriously though, if you guys could suggest some good cmake tutorials ( I'm using VSCode and GCC 8.1.0 for compilation ) - that'd be swell :)
Keep rocking!

Tech people should have a codeword. So that I don't have to explain to every data provider showing off their own crappy limited analytics tool that "I do know what SQL means and I just need the ODBC user/pass, thanks".

I wish I could just say "hey, &0x00A0 = 1337;" out loud and he would be like "oh, thanks! I needed the break. Here is the ODBC crap, I'm gonna grab some coffee."

Anndddd people are catching covid from the office again

What was the point again?

!rant

The new end to the idiotic code snippet head scratchers interviews (awkward for both parties but nobody is willing to admit it)?

Hometasks.

Infinite internet access, use whatever tools you want, do as much as you can in 2-3 hours.

The best non-toxic way to see how someone works as a dev.

This is the way I expect you to work, so this is the way I will interview you.

Sorry silicon valley, we don't need people who can write up a binary search algo from rote memory.

I'm in awe as to how quickly time just flows when I'm coding at work

C/C++ - complex, very fast, used for OS dev

Java - Comparatively easy, fast, used app dev

Python - very easy, comparitively slow, used for app dev

Then there is this boy

Rust - Just fucks you up

I am happy today cause I manage to write a query in which two table have inner join and with third left .. haha...

I mean I was thinking of handling that situation with foreach.. But managed to do it in query by myself :)

Just hoping that query won;t break for different scenarios. But let just be me happy while it last .. I mean my client make some test

Stopped studying DSA and for coding interviews, they legit rejected me even tho I did all questions right. Wtf is wrong with hiring.

I remember this another bastard asked me only DSA for a frontend job. :) he didn't ask me to give an intro even a straightaway question.

One thing that I've noticed is that devs are the most stupid human beings while doing estimation or planning for the sprint. And I'm a dev too

Are you serious... I didn't even move the methods they are literally next to each other

every day my boss says he'll review the requirements for our product. every day he forgets to do so. every day he asks where the update for the next stage is. every day i remind him. every day he forg ---

I like React.js ⚛️

(no rant today)

This is more of an advice seeking rant. I've recently been promoted to Team Leader of my team but mostly because of circumstances. The previous team leader left for a start-up and I've been somehow the acting Scrum Master of the team for the past months (although our company sucks at Scrum generally speaking) and also having the most time in the company. However I'm still the youngest I'm my team so managing the actual team feels a bit weird and also I do not consider myself experienced enough to be a Technical lead but we don't have a different position for that.

Below actions happen in the course of 2-3 months.

With all the things above considered I find myself in a dire situation, a couple of months ago there were several Blocker bugs opened from the Clients side / production env related to one feature, however after spending about a month or so on trying to investigate the issues we've come to the conclusion that it needs to be refactorised as it's way too bad and it can't be solved (as a side note this issue has also been raised by a former dev who left the company). Although it was not part of the initial upcoming version release it was "forcefully" introduced in the plan and we took out of the scope other things but was still flagged as a potential risk. But wait..there's more, this feature was part of a Java microservice (the whole microservice basically) and our team is mostly made of JS, just one guy who actually works as a Java dev (I've only done one Java course during uni but never felt attracted to it). I've not been involved in the initial planning of this EPIC, my former TL was an the Java guy. Now during this the company decides that me and my TL were needed for a side project, so both of us got "pulled out" of the team and move there but we've also had to "manage" the team at the same time. In the end it's decided that since my TL will leave and I will take leadership of the team, I get "released" from the side project to manage the team. I'm left with about 3 weeks to slam dunk the feature.. but, I'm not a great leader for my team nor do I have the knowledge to help me teammate into fixing this Java MS, I do go about the normal schedule about asking him in the daily what is he working on and if he needs any help, but I don't really get into much details as I'm neither too much in sync with the feature nor with the technical part of Java. And here we are now in the last week, I've had several calls with PSO from the clients trying to push me into giving them a deadline on when will it be fixed that it's very important for the client to get this working in the next release and so on, however I do not hold an answer to that. I've been trying to explain to them that this was flagged as a risk and I can't guarantee them anything but that didn't seem to make them any happier. On the other side I feel like this team member has been slacking it a lot, his work this week would barely sum up a couple of hours from my point of view as I've asked him to push the branch he's been working on and checked his code changes. I'm a bit anxious to confront him however as I feel I haven't been on top of his situation either, not saying I was uninvolved but I definetly could have been a better manager for him and go into more details about his daily work and so on.

All in all there has been mistakes on all levels(maybe not on PSO as they can't really be held accountable for R&D inability to deliver stuff, but they should be a little more understandable at the very least) and it got us into a shitty situation which stresses me out and makes me feel like I've started my new position with a wrong step.

I'm just wondering if anyone has been in similar situations and has any tips or words of wisdom to share. Or how do you guys feel about the whole situation, am I just over stressing it? Did I get a good analysis, was there anything I could have done better? I'm open for any kind of feedback.

I feel like whoever works with Magento full time either has ascended or completely lost their sanity.

So I don’t get the hype behind GraphQL. Why is it so damn popular on one hand, on the other hand not popular enough to make an old fart like me want to spend time to learn how to use it?

Hi.. How are you doing devs?

Me.. I was lot busy cause my company decided to end working from home.. and office environment sucked Like My shift got changed from 2 to 10 .. But our all employee request for permanent work from home.. I am glad that I am on now permanently working from home..

Suggest me some good ways to utilize this opportunity..:)

Help. We're starting to feel the effects of unnecessary micromanagement.

We're a small startup. The kind with less than 10 devs spread across different domains. We've been fine with a Kanban approach as the velocity/flow of deliverables don't necessarily warrant a Scrum approach yet.

Our boss has been wanting to adopt Scrum-style sprints, even shoved and assumed that were doing these sprints and demanding Scrum-style reports (and meetings!!!) when they are, in reality,
1) unnecessary
2) a waste of time

Absolutely none of the team members want this. But our boss insists on having it. We like our boss, but lately things are getting out of control

What can we do to mitigate and prevent this?

Why would she contact me for a job that needs ASAP attention and not show up after I gave her my salary expectation, I bet she is expecting a $1-$2 salary expectation from me, crazy recruiters I wonder if there's a university for that shit,

Hi guys, another recruiter shit!!!!

!dev

I have this feeling in my gut that everything is wrong or is going wrong and I draw my breaths heavily like I'm lifting iron. I don't know what's wrong. There are a few stressors in my life but nothing major. Just normal life. I'm sure I have fewer problems than a lot of other people but at the same time, I'm very sure I'm not alright.

Currently having very funny project lead, who gives on the spot estimates for 9 years old very pathetic quality code having Android app in security domain. Memory leaks, bad practices, typos, CVEs etc. you name it we have it in our source of the app.

Since 5-6 sprints of our project, almost 50% of user stories were incomplete due to under estimations.

Basically everyone in management were almost sleeping since last 7-8 years about code quality & now suddenly when new Dev & QA team is here they wanted us to fix everything ASAP.

Most humourous thing is product owner is aware about importance of unit test cases, but don't want to allocate user stories for that at the time of sprint planning as code is almost freezed according to him for current release.

Actually, since last release he had done the same thing for each sprint, around 18 months were passed still he hadn't spared single day for unit testing.

Recently app crash issue was found in version upgrade scenario as QAs were much tired by testing hundreds of basic trivial test cases manually & server side testing too, so they can't do actual needful testing & which is tougher to automate for Dev.

Recently when team's old Macbook Pros got expired higher management has allocated Intel Mac minis by saying that few people of organization are misusing Macbooks. So for just few people everyone has to suffer now as there is no flexibility in frequent changing between WFH & WFO. 1 out of those Mac minis faced overheating & in repair since 6 months.

Out of 4 Devs & 3 QAs, all 3 QAs & 2 Devs had left gradually.

I think it's time to say goodbye 😔