Asking my colleagues to review my code is like asking "can you roast my code?".

My last day of employment in current company

So we are building and export function for a payment and we have to follow the bank's structure of payment, which is a txt file. (for example from position 10 to 20, you need to have empty characters)

This is what our experienced developer did. I have one week left in this company.

So this just happened. I was in a meeting showing the demo to the client ( biggest client of the company ). He was there with his wife ( head of finance ) all dressed up. We were around 5 people in the room looking at the projector with the product. I usually have my messenger closed and laptop on silent before going in a meeting but ... Well.. i forgot.

Half way through the presentation, a wild dropdown in the middle of the screen appears. Notification from facebook messenger from my gf with the message " I'm horny af ”. That's all, nothing else. I entered chrome full screen the next second but the damage has been done already. Oh, the judgement in their eyes ...

We shall never speak about it . Ever, i said to my colleague.

We are having a party at home ... I just wanna be left alone and code :/

Today, I finally had the opportunity to say to a client: "It is not a bug, it is a feature".

No, seriously, it is a feature.

Perfect gaming computer .. picture with a macbook. Enough said

So this happened last night...

Gf: my favorite bra is not fitting me anymore
Me: get a new one ?
Gf: but it is a C already.
Me: get a c++.

After 5 sec i bursted in laughter, she was confused.

I wish i were as good as people think I am.

So during my internship I wanted to do a cool function to sanitize objects. At the time I spent about 3 days trying to do it, I just couldn't write it. I knew how to fix it, just didn't manage to write it. Today, one year and few months later I remembered about it and wrote it in less than one hour.

First time since I started developing that I realized I actually learned something and that my efforts payed off :)

my colleague received a stress ball, meanwhile the tennis ball is my stress release tool. Not very efficient i must add.

worst documentation ? what documentation ? ? 😐

So my colleague asked me to send him a proper json reply from the server instead of a string message. He got this and I will not change it.

Actual thing that happened:

I was asked to remake an application from ruby to nodejs with angular as frontend and after few weeks of working on the algorithm, I was finally able to send it to the client to test if the algorithm was working fine, telling him to disregard the actual look and feel of the page because we are still working on it and it will be done soon.

Two weeks later at the meeting :
Me: So? is the algorithm working as you expect? do you get the proper results?
Client: Yes yes yes, but the font in the email is not the right one, it has to be Calibri 12.
Me: ooook ? Sure, it will be done, but i am interested in the algorithm, are you sure you have tested it enough and it is working properly?
Him: Yes yes yes, but please change the font the in the application as well to Calibri 12.

*facepalm*