manager: we need timings on work
Me : what’s the business requirement
Manager: don’t know but the business want timings. We have an XSD.
Me: *thinks - cool story*.

Remarked out code which has been commented out since 2015, now been checked in with a simple line comment of todo above it .....

Dev: what do I call this file ?
Me: just name it something meaningful so other dev's know what it is

Two days pass

Me: time to do code review .. oh look a new file ..

Git comment : new file for sax parsing , architecture gave the ok.

File name : SomethingMeaningful.java

Omg visual studio is a piece of SHIT!

I'd rather code java in eclipse than another line of c# in visual studio.

Once you work in IntelliJ other IDE's are awful.

One word rants really .. just piss me off ... like omg ... you can't take the time out to actually have an opinion !

Eclipse ... no that not a rant it's a hateful pies of sh1t which supplies you a default view of code which makes you feel like you are a pirate looking though a portal to an island 10 miles away ..

Soap ... that just the annoying mechanism you will use and and swear at and every time you use it it's different ...

Sql ... that's just something you should learn ... learn it .. it's useful ..

I have spent my entire day code reviewing thinking ...
This developer must think all the lines are fighting with one another ..

I kid you not ! Every line of code has white space between it ....

To top it off ... all strings are initialized new String() then assigned to constants ......

*sigh*

Omg some days java ide's can be annoying ...

No IntelliJ I never mean java.sql.date and I never ever mean java.awt.list

I sometimes think IntelliJ is just sitting there laughing at me ...

Im banging away at my keyboard going ..look at all I have written !!mwhahahaha !!! ... and it's like .. hey look you can simplify ... its just sitting there thinking ... really? all that ?... you have all the lines .. and this is sooo simple ... you complete dumb ass

When debugging remember to tell Gir your woes ...

Kids of today will never know why Winamp Really whips the Llama's Ass

Damn you drunk self!!!

When you see the ascii dragon with a comment .. "here be dragons, to future me .. have a drink then look though this " ...

When a developer tells you it will take a week and you go ... hell no this will take me a couple hours...

So as proof you do it and realize you just did their work ...

*faceplam*