Java Joke......

Choosing Java because it works on all platforms, is THE worst reason

When you install Java it says "3 billion devices run java"

Well I'm not sure how many of those devices actually respond

You know you have hired a Python programmer do Java when .....

Java 🎉

Java vs. JavaScript

Fuck Java.

Java<3

Java security applied.

Java running on my machine.

When you first start learing development patterns on Java

Working in Java be like.

He's stop writing Java because he thinks Java is inelegant. He write PHP instead.

Am I still on earth? 🤔

Java + Python = Kotlin?
😂😂😂

Bringing back the Java in JavaScript!

JS Developer :
var x = 2
x = "hello"

Java developer:
what the hell !!

My new year's resolution:
- Learn more Java
- Build a web server with Java
- Make a 3D game with no frameworks in Java
- Make a simple Android app with java
- Try JavaOS
- Tell people I know Java

Don't like where Java is going

So I've got a friend learning Java, using Eclipse.
I walk in one day and see him restarting his computer. I make nothing of it. Few minutes later, he's restarting again.
I jokingly say "Windows update?"
He responds with the straightest face ever: "No, compiling code."

Apparently he thought you needed to restart the computer before compiling.
Not sure if I should be mortified or laughing my ass off.

Remember those good old java powered phones?

Say no to java xD

When a recruiter puts Java in a job spec when they mean JavaScript

java - - version
Unrecognized operation: - - version

FUCK!!!

java - version
java version "1.x...."

EVERY FUCKING TIME!!!

Why Java, WHY?!?!? 😭

Every other tool uses - - version ❤️

java jokes

What?!?

There is an ^= operator in Java for booleans. I have been programming in Java for 4 years now and never knew this. Like b ^= true will flip b.

Mind blown; this is the greatest thing ever

Interviewed a guy for Java Developer.

He didn't managed to explain his hello world program.

:') :D

He won't be giving java interview anytime soon

The floor is java

How does a Java dev cut his hair?

Eclipse it

Me after 3 days of trying to figure out c++:

"Fuck it I'm using java"

Getting shit from everyone for liking Java.

Java Monsters in the house?

" I can't wait to install that Java update" - said No One Ever

Damn you java...!!;!

Ported a Java class to Kotlin. 200 lines of code removed and much cleaner structure.

FeelsGoodMan

Inheritance in Java

"Java is like javascript"

Java and android studio..

After a long time in .NET and JavaScript, I have returned to Java today. I was quite happy about it for a few minutes!

Oh Java, go have Java ☕

After heck a lot of hours of debugging my Java code which looked all right, found out my mistake was just using == instead of equals()

I was once at my uncle's 40th birthday party and bored to hell, so he gave me a book that was supposed to be "Python for kids". I started reading it and soon fell in love with programming.
Since then I've often learned new programming languages by reading books or lately mostly the internet.
My books here should be in chronological order:

stackoverflow these days:

How to [land a rocket on Mars] using java 8 streams?

Java 😂😂😂

It was not a meeting but a class. We learned to program in Java.

Using notepad....

How inheritance works in java

When they say java but they mean javascript

Java is too verbose? Pff, noooo...

“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

very long pause….

“Java.”

Kotlin or java?

Thanks java

We can do this easily in python...

No, still do it in Java ...

C++ VS Java

Real Java programmers don't die. They just get garbage collected...

Nevermind...

why tf java internship requires me to have a knowledge of a 3+ years experienced java developer!?

java java = new java("java");

// java

Me when I tried to switch from Python to Java:

Why so much extra stuff??

Some 40 years old guy on the bus talking with his younger colleague: "If you learn Java, you know Javascript. Javascript is just more compact Java."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

*long pause*

Java!

C++ vs Java 😂

147 Day to release Java 9! Are you ready ??😎

If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

Screw Java.

Java... 😑

Thanks java! FAILURE :java.lang.OutOfMemoryError: OutOfMemoryError thrown while trying to throw OutOfMemoryError; no stack trace available

The biggest annoyance in Java for me is the absence of "real" properties. Writing getters and setters everywhere is ugly, you are generating them anyways.

If Java had a decent garbage collector, it would have collected itself years ago...

"I decided to write the core software for my Time Machine in Java. It's Date API is so error free and easy to use."

As the legend goes, the scientist is trapped in another dimension between Timezones.

#thanksjava

Cup of Java + workspace

You know you are screwed when your colleague in a Java project asks you how to create two different constructors on the same class.

Java 11 is out!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
*5 second pause*
Java

Install java

Went in to the therapist today. Their impression is I'm likely okay. Wait until I show them the cluster fuck that is Java Enterprise. 🙃

C++ vs Java

When I work with Java Swing for a school homework

Java is cool

The time when your student pronounces "Java" as "Jaba". \/00\/

I just figured out what most of the 3 billion devices running java would be. Sim and credit cards

i was talking with a senior developer and...

...i realized...

...every single thing you people trashtalked against java, was a delusional lie.

#Java#Things

An old one, but still pretty funny 😂

If Java had true Garbage Collection, it would delete itself.

Why don't people like Java? With only a year of AP comp sci for experience, I don't know enough about it to say I do or don't like it. But it's widely used, and is an official language of Android. Are the people hating on Java just people that don't use it? Or is there something about Java that people just genuinely despise?

That fantastic feeling when you switch from java to python.

A kid in highschool asked what are the similarities between Java and Javascript. I told him:

"Java is to JavaScript what Car is to Carpet."

Java
It's my favorite language because I started learning programming in Java when I was in school.
The most annoying thing in Java is I don't feel like writing System.out.println each time.

just because im a java dev doesn't mean that I can't see sharp

Java gives me weird habits;

Why some recruiters can t understand this: javaScript is NOT java!!!

Choosing java as my interview language over python. Still suspicious. 😓😓

Getting a Java Null Pointer Exception

This whole week I’ve been writing Java (for the first time) and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a horrible language, written by horrible people, for the purpose of making other people’s lives horrible.

Fuck Java 🙂

-Yeah sure, I'll adjust to java pretty quickly. Have been working with C# for years.

Narrator- But little did he know that how much Java differs.

Seriously, Fuck JAVA.

to all my Java brothers and sisters, please move here it'll be easier for errybode

Once I didn't knew anything about coding or development.
Someone suggested me to start with Java.

Still looking for that Mada-foker.

Java is kind of like teenage sex--everyone is always talking about it, but in reality they don't even know what they're talking about.

Started learning Java, already hate it....

Java is future ☕️☕️

Be like java..😜

Why do java programmers wear glasses?

They can't see sharp.

Learning Java.

Iterating HashMaps

That is all...

When I started learning Java, I thought my lecturer was asking me to speak in Indonesian

Java <3

Java is not Javascript

Finally, a monitor that will fit the entire name of my java classes

I'm switching from dot net to java, feel like newbie :-/

I love Java...

...script!

>Be me
>About to finish large-ish GUI program in Java
>Finish coding program
>Be happy that you finally finished
>Go to test the program
> Doesn't start
>Get concerned
>Debug the code for hours on end to find out why it isn't working
>Find that you were missing a semi-colon the whole time
>Yell into a pillow
>Go to devRant to rant about it

I really dont understand the hate for Java, people specially showing on devRant. Java is such a beautiful language. Im ready to take on the negatives if Java loses. Java lovers can put ++ and hater can hit --. Let's see the results at the end of the week.

Back in the late 90's when I got started in my career - had a boss that didn't known the difference between Java and JavaScript. I made the mistake of trying to explain the difference. If you can keep the boss in the dark and get away with it - do it. Ignorance is bliss.

*After coding in java for a long time*
I ended up a Google Search with ";"

😁

Still not loving Java

Java versions till now !

one of my client said, Python is confusing....

then i show him some Java code....

Handicapped in Java

When a Java nullptrexception is not reproducible.

Did anybody else start off with Java when you first got into programming???

Explain the 'Script' to Java. Why the Fuck would you want to do so?

Java developers
how much time did it take from you to learn Java ?

Wtf java.. You can't just fucking make java paid.. This is not acceptable assholes. Although I don't use java now for many good reasons. But I always had respect for it. And I used to use it.

Rivalry of 21st century

Java v/s Python

Cheers to those Java developers who think they will be richer than PHP developers because Java has a more complex syntax.

Learning Java is like a rollercoaster..now you love it, now you hate it.

I'd learn Java..

Java - Everyone hates it

A programmer had a problem.
He decided to use Java.

He now has, a ProblemFactory.

Ternary operator in Java, because damn it looks so slick

Learning Java < Death.

When u try Java and fall in love with It. :'v

Learning teh Java Scripts

What is Java?

Sure its java😂😂

This might trigger some people here, but... I like Java and its structure.
/_(o_o)_\

Started doing Java because i thought it had much better libraries than C++ .Now after doing it , still not able to decide whether to stick with Fucking Java or with that Fucking C++ LOL.

java doesn't support pointers
but it'll always give errors like NullPointerException😂😂

This jewel piece of code in Java:

if(String.valueOf(var1.toString( ) ).equalsIgnorecase(String.valueOf(var2.toString())){
//fuck something else here
}
String var1; //defined somewhere
String var2; //defined somewhere in the code

At this point I am not even mad 😂😂

Going to python from using java. I miss ;

Java and JavaScript are as similar as Car and Carpet

I got 99 problems and java is all of them.

What is the difference between Integer and int in Java? Void and void?

When you talk about cocktails but you're a Java developer and you're struggling to not say Mockito.

When Java exceptions mean nothing

Found some Java over there...

HTTP requests in Java... 💀

First Rant. Learning Java. No previous experience. Headache. Fun!

"knock knock"
"who's there"
...five minutes pause...
"Java"

*such is Life with Java*

why the hate on java? ok, i'm only studying applied computer sciences for a year now, we mainly saw java /javascript and i like them. personally i worked with python, c, c#, php, swift too but i still don't see the problem with java

There should be a competition for java developers where they compete to generate the longest stack trace.
#javasucks

I didn't knew you could buy java

Saying Java is good because it works on every operating system, is like saying anal sex is good, because it works with every gender!

- Daddy, tell me a joke!
- Java type safe generics, son.

teaching myself Java servlets
ide refuses to recognize my tomcat server
me: ...... no one's using java servlets right?
*nods to self, gets up and leaves laptop*

New on HS Robotics team (we went to worlds last year —> we’re good). I come from France.
The lead programmer say that we are gonna stop coding the robot in Java and start C++ this year, so naturally I’m excited!

Lead programmer just told us we’re actually staying with Java... fuck.

Q: Why do real JAVA programmers wear glasses? {0_0}
A: Because they don't C#. {-_-}

I sometimes type === in Java.. Too much JS on my mind.

CIA – Computer Industry Acronyms

CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well.

Hey everyone, I am trying to learn how to become better a Java but I don't really know where to begin. I already know some of the basics and have made a few minor projects but I really want to advance. I was hoping someone could provide me with some ideas for simple yet complicated projects so that I can further my knowledge of the Java programming language.

Java vs C++ .....😂😂👍.

Bring out your Java madness!!

java it is a black box that convert XML to SQL

.NET or Java?

I hate java...

We all like Java...

... sort of...

Java Rules The World

Sweet taste of Java

Fuck Java. Seriously fuck.

This message popped up while updating Java

coded a java program in eclipse throws back error .
Know that program is correct.
Created a new project file copy pasted the code, wolaa.. executed.
:/

What are your favorite programming languages?

My is Node.js and Java

Why Java?

Java sucks

Start working with Excel export and imports in java... The Sheet goes real..

JavaScript job or Java job?

Old but gold: Why do Java programmers use glasses? Because they can't C# *crickets*

I thought I was decent at Java until I saw it in action over an internship this summer... is it always so complicated or do I have more to learn?

Java developers never R.I.P, they just get garbage collected.

User: I'd like to hear a java joke.

Java: Java is not defined.

User: Damnit Java!

Is the Java programming language 100% object oriented?

java evolution parade 😝

My favourite is Java.
It is so elegant and offers so many cool features...

... jk, lol

What's up with all this hate with Java?

Hadn't touched Java for more than a year, had to refresh it back. Probably learnxinyminutes is enough?

Why does java have so many nonsensical limitations? Why? Why can't we have multiple heritage? Why can't we have friend classes? Why can't we make static abstract methods? Oracle, PLEASE.

java > javascript

Java updates.

What's the difference between Java and C#?
A: Former is slow, latter is....forced?

wtf, I started java class today; Have to do
System.out.println("wtf");
to print a line.

I feel like more than half of the time i spend coding Java is actually writting system.out.println().

I mean come on ! Who got time for that ?!

Let me just see what the "FragmentStatePagerAdapterManagerActivator" does. Fucking Java.

Java virtual machine

Java Dev: "Does Josh's team own this java service?"
Scrum Master: "They did the dev work but we own it."
Java Dev:

The best part is the satisfaction you get when you see the thing you've worked on for a long time being used and making people happy.

When some colleague ask for help in a project that you're supposed to know everything but you really don't (damn multi threading in Java )

When you code in C but still thinking in Java....

I want to be dress like hipsters but I think I am too fat for that.
#devProblems

I have just learned java language. Can anyone tell me some small projects that will help me as a beginner?