Finally, my computer reflects my personality!

Coding has caused a paradigm shift in the way I look at the world. Previously I would look at something and be amazed as to how it happened or was made and then depressed because I would think such things could only be done by geniuses and not by me. Now, I know that complex things are made up of many simple things and anything complex can be kind of deconstructed with enough understanding. Its an empowering feeling knowing that I can create something amaizng.

One of my first jobs as a Web Designer / Developer.

Boss had me update a WordPress site that the previous dude built. It had some pages that only members were meant to access.

These were listed on a navbar at all times. If the user clicked on them, a JS alert would show up telling the visitor to log in first.

That was the ONLY protection those pages had. No matter it was a WordPress-powered site, to begin. If you knew the URL or simply altered the code right there on the browser to remove the onclick-bound JS, you could get in.

And that was just the beginning of it. Eventually I convinced the boss to rebuild the site.

Difference between C# and Javascript
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
C#: That's not a cup of tea.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar in it.
C#: That's not a cup of tea with two tea spoons of sugar in it.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk in it.
C#: That is not a cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk it.
...
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
Javascript: I'll hold your cup of coffee.

I am so sick and tired of hearing "I'm not good with computers" from these god damn secretaries I have to work with.

Fuck you! I mean, seriously, FUCK YOU! That God damn piece of shit Windows XP door stop has been on your desk for at LEAST a decade (shit, I think that was the same PC my highschool had, and I'm in my mid thirties)!

What in the FUCK do you mean you don't know the difference between files and folder? How? HOW can you stare at that damn screen every fucking work day off your life and not grasp simple concepts!

And FUCK THE ADMINISTRATION for hiring these volunteerily ignorant babies who refuse to bother figuring out more than just where the power button is (and, fuck me, even THAT took years).

Fuck me if, after spending 40 God damn minutes of my time trying to guide some secretary, who's been working twice as long as I have and making probably twice as much, on how to copy a file from one folder to another, I have to listen to some fucking pity speech "I just don't get this high tech computer stuff. I'm just too old"

And FUCK society for allowing this fucking behavior! I don't know any other piece of technology where people are happy being so blindly ignorant to even the basics! I don't know Jack shit about the internal working of a car, but I know where and how to use my steering wheel and peddles and that I need to take the thing for an oil change. Hell, I even know when my tires look bad... If I can do that, you can fucking learn how to copy a god damn file without needing me to help you... FOR A FUCKING HOUR!

FUUUUCK!

*Takes a deep breath*
So... How was your day?

Fixing a parents iPhone, episode 1.

Problem: "Whatsapp is gone off my phone"

Debugging:

Me: *unlocks phone and sees whatsapp*, it's right here.

Mam: no, I no that I can't see my messages.

Me: ok, that is definitely not what "whatsapp is gone off my phone means".

*opens whatsapp*
*inside add contact screen*

App seems ok, your trying to add a contact?

Mam: that's a problem, whenever I open it I only see that page.

Me: *taps cancel button with shocked face*

Mam: omg there's my messages, how did you do that?

Me: ... ... ... I tapped the very easy to see, large cancel button in the top right hand corner.

Mam: but why was it opened there?

Me: *looks at opened message from unknown number*

If I was to hazard a guess, now stay with me on this one as it's a bit complex. I think ... I THINK ... you clicked the "add to contacts" button on the screen in front of you.

I am suspicious of one thing though.

Mam: what's that?

Me: how you managed to click the add contacts button, and when brought to the add contacts screen, you assume the app is broken.

Mam: oh will you **** off you sarcastic little ****. Thank you very much.

Me: no prob, 4 year computer science course put to great use.

This lady hotdesking near me harps on about her amazing Meetup that she's organized. She believes she can be an authority on a highly technical subject without knowing how to force quit an app on her Mac.
Shysters!

Microsoft bought Skype for 1.9 million dollar...how stupid.... I downloaded it for free

Nice one!! 🤣🤣