Programming for PornHub but not having to be embarrassed by the PHP.

Headphones. The reason will be obvious.

The ability to decipher the shit code that my colleagues produce.

function undefined() { }

There we go. Now undefined IS a function. Damn you JavaScript errors.

Boss walked in on me and his daughter, you know.

!important

Pluralsight and developer conference videos on YouTube (eg NDC, BuildIt).

There are 10 types of people that understand binary - those that do and then those that have varying levels of misunderstanding on a scale of 1 - 9.

"The Senior Developer told me I was wrong but I proved that he was in fact wrong." - Why are there so many rants like this? What's the significance of the "Senior" part? Are you just telling the world you are better than "Senior" or do you just want to put them down?

I just received an email from GitHub reminding me about what they do. Coincidence?

Whenever someone leaves their computer unlocked (and if they're using Chrome/Chromium), one of us will install the Cenafy plugin. It has a 1 in 100 chance of redirecting you to a site that plays the John Cena theme any time you load a new page. Trouble is, the tune is so damn addictive I spend the rest of the day humming it.

Halfway through typing my password and I know I've gotten it wrong, but keep going to the end just in case it magically works.

My boss thinks we're "Agile" because we spend 30 minutes every day talking about what we did, what we're doing and discussing every single imaginable outcome of life.