UNLEARN commenting your code, and write code that is easy to understand instead.

I really wanted font ligatures so I took the plunge and ditched Consolas for Iosevka. I didn't think I could love another font, but oh my!

My opinion on Spotify introducing parental controls:

As a software engineer
When I see a track labeled as Explicit
Then I know it's a piece of p**s to filter out that track if a child is logged in.

That moment when all you need is 10 more ++'s on one of your rants!

With Nootropics. (And the usual caffeine, noise cancelling headphones and Spotify)

What do the new MacBook and a black hole have in common?

There's no Escape!

Junior Dev: Today I'm porting my (TDD'd) C++ code to C# but having loads of issues.
Me: You should throw away the code, port the tests across and write the code again.
Junior Dev: I think I'll just keep doing what I'm doing.
Me: *triple face plant*

I once worked on a project with 3 specification documents; a word document with numbered points describing every feature inadequately, a UI specification with mocked up screenshots in a badly-versioned wiki, and a user manual which had already been produced by an overzealous marketing department.

Of course they all contradicted each other :D

Why can't you stick to any of the deadlines we give you?

What do you get at a Pirate event?

Arrrrrrrrrgs!!

WiFi connection on my laptop suddenly dies. Spend next 2 days reinstalling drivers/Windows 10. Still doesn't fix it. Realise the hardware switch on side of laptop is in off position. *facepalm*