Next week, my company decided to create a new app. But they are not sure about which features they all want. So far there is only consensus on a login screen.

They also expect us to learn a new framework/language over the weekend for no extra pay.

And they want the majority of the code to be vibe coded and we don't even have an idea what features we want...

This is going to be a disaster.

3 week ago, I made a post sharing that we got a new marketing guy and my colleague and I have a bet going on if he will last 6 months or not.

He is already fired.

One of our products we are supporting is selling so well. After 3 years, we are averaging 6 installs per month lmao

We have had a bad release a few weeks ago and my task is to propose a better flow. We just had a meeting and now I'm writing a document for it.

All I can think of them the big boss saying "looks excellent" and then default back to the old way in less than 3 weeks from now.

My work fired their marketing department half a year ago and the new marketing guy still has yet to start.

But we released one week ago their first AI-generated ad, there are multiple things wrong:
- The logo of our company is wrong
- Our company colours are wrong
- Mixing of English and our (different) language
- Has "screenshots" of our application but our application does not look like that
- AI generated faces that look like PS1 graphics
- Multiple typos
- The font for our company name is wrong

And yet, they decided to publish it. That is maybe 1 hour of time to fix all mistakes if you are experienced in Photoshop but they can't be bothered lol.

My manager is back from paternity leave and immediately got 4 hours of meetings :&

Heard some news/rumorus that we missed our quarterly goal slightly. It was first set to 450k then our accountant said it was not realistic at all and was lowered to 350k....

Our number was just around 100k. We only completed 28.6% of our quarterly goal :DDDDDD

We got a new marketing guy... Number 5 in 4 years. My colleague and I are betting if he will last half a year or not :D

if you make a PR, do you sometimes just fix the minor error yourself and push it and then approve it?

for example: like a typo in a variable or a wrong translation

Got this message from my CEO: "When are we going to have a perfect working version? 100% sure without bugs? "

How do I even respond to this? "We are wondering the same"?

(for context, he requested an early alpha build of a certain feature)

My workplace just lost a contract that would bring us a €20000 revenue because the CEO refused to spend €5.

CEO is blaming a frontend bug for a backend outage. The server simply did not scale with new active clients ))))))

Managers decided that the support contract with one of our most important third party servers is not worth the money.

Take a guess which server caused an outage for all customers twice already :D

We just had a server outage this morning and my colleague was heading to the office. He was already in a meeting on his phone and got stopped by the police for calling while driving.

He got a fine, lost his driving license for 2 weeks and has to go police court for it. That's an expensive server outage for him

A new deployment is planned tomorrow. Fourth try is the charm 🙃

We rolled out yesterday a new update out to our Desktop application. The goal was to do it last weekend but we failed for reasons. The update is a success and now we (devs, project manager, QA, COO, support) got an angry email from our CEO, he mentioned:
- He is very disappointed in the whole process
- we released it without a coordinated marketing campaign
- That the devs should have communicated to the customers
- That the devs should have communicated internally more
- That support is getting a lot of new support tickets. I asked support, they counted 0 for this product in the last 7 days.
- Asked us to self-reflect how we can improve.

My project manager (who is currently on paternity leave) responded with an angry email to defend the dev team and pointed out that the CEO fired the marketing guy (again). The deadline is here for months, that the CEO literally ran the update locally and sold the update to new customers. He also called the CEO "lack of self awareness" and "not understanding the update process" and "disappointed in this approach". He also said that he asked the developers not to respond to the email.

Love me some drama between higher-ups

For some reason, our CEO decides on the designs. I have send some designs to him on Wednesday last week. On Friday, he finally approved the designs (with a minor tweak) at 16:57.

On Monday at 14:00, I had a meeting with him and he was mad that the full feature was not finished and in production.

What did he expect? 😐

For context, Friday we had a deadline to get multiple products updated for a deployments on Saturday. That went to the shitter and we spend hours trying to fix it till the middle of the night and decided to roll back. Now we were fixing the shitshow that it was and he is still mad

(those deadlines that friday were barely feasible and we failed)

Our scrum master planned a 1-on-1 to go over everyones tasks when he is off for 20 days (paternity leave) one day before his wife is expected to give birth

Now he is surprised this plan fell through for obvious reasons

4 deadlines for today, 0 done so far and 4 hours meetings. Kill me

My workplace remains so retarded.

Half our colleagues are from abroad and do not speak our native language. All our customers are from our country and we are trying to implement transcription and summaries for them. The big AI models struggles with our language.

The devs who are assigned to this project do not speak our language. So they cannot verify if the results are correct.

My project manager fails to see a problem for this :D

Conversation at work

Colleague 1: "Have you added it to our documentation system?"
Colleague 2: "Not yet."
Colleague 1: "The Sumerians created the first writing systems 5000 years ago, but sadly, not everyone got the memo."

I thought that the teambuilding of last year was bad... it was a workshop for the Wim-Hof method & an ice bath. Today, it was mucking horse stables, stripping some fences from barbed wire & horse riding.

My company has nothing to do with either anything related to ice baths or animals

All our developers from abroad has finally arrived in the office \o/

Except our only black developer

Next week, dev colleagues from abroad are coming to my office. Apparently I have to organise a "design sprint". I have never done a design sprint and we have never ran a design sprint in my company. We don't even have a dedicated UX/UI person. Me and other dev are doing designs since we are front-end

From what I've looked it up, a design sprint should take 5 days to do it correctly. I only have 3 days to fill assuming no other activities are planned. So anyone got any tips or advice?

Last September my company did introduce mandatory office days again (company of 35-ish employees). One employee was fired for having problems with it because she could not commit on it because she has a small kid. She did not enough time to organise daycare due the extremely long queues for daycare.

And now my project manager did not show up to roughly 50% of the mandatory office days and it's just not being enforced for him.

Someone broke in past weekend in my workplace. We have a separate storage room at the ground floor and that lock was brute forced.

But we have yet to find something that is missing. It's so weird. Was there really nothing of value there that could have been sold?

Our biggest competitor has just been hacked. All their sensitive data, including passwords and client data, has been compromised.

It is not yet in the news, but someone forwarded their internal communication to us. :D

(fixed mistranslation)

My work week will be pumped from 38 hours to 40 hours per week but the pay remains the same...

And holidays are adjusted from unlimited PTO to 32 days

I overheard a phone call between my project manager & my CEO yesterday in the office. This is what my project manager said on the phone: "I find it weird that we sell stuff we are not sure if it is exists and if it exists, we are not sure how it works"

What a productive daily standup... Someone played the trombone and it was related to our bug on the servers.